episode_0072
by adminThe older brother of Jujak. His name must have been Bongcheonhwa. It didn’t matter to me why he came here.
However, for some reason, I felt bad. Why?
There must be a reason. A reason why I feel bad. But I don’t know why. Why on earth am I feeling bad? There was no way to express it other than that I didn’t understand. Where could I feel bad? This person is her family, and there is no reason for me to feel bad or jealous.
The boy didn’t know. Why was the emotion he was feeling now coming from? Of course, it was understandable. The emotion he was feeling now was something he had never felt or experienced before. There was no way he could know why or for what reason this emotion, which he had never experienced before, was coming to him.
If he had known, it would have meant that he was smart and had been educated accordingly.
But was it like that?
No. He had never learned or heard about such feelings. There was only one fact in his mind.
‘I’m not allowed to feel these feelings.’
The boy only knew one solution to this: emotional castration.
The only thing that came to the boy’s mind was what he had always done.
“Ah, oppa! Yeon decided to stay overnight today.”
“What? Haa… Seriously, who’s stopping you? Anyway! Long time no see, little white tiger.”
Her brother greets me. The thoughts that had been going on in my head also suddenly awoke.
“Oh, yes. Long time no see.”
“… ?”
I tried my best to keep my emotions to myself, but there still seemed to be something off about him.
“You, have you changed a bit?”
“… Yes?”
“Before, I was like a machine that never thought of anything else… . Hmm.”
She stared at me as if something was strange. Then she looked back and forth between me and her.
“Aha, so that’s it. Hmm. Hmm… Seonhwa.”
“Huh, huh?”
“It’ll be okay.”
“What?! What- What! This is seriously funny!”
“Why are you so upset? I said treatment, I said treatment. ”
“No… ! Sleep… !”
What kind of treatment are they talking about? I don’t know. Is there something else that I don’t know about, something that only they do? She grabbed my brother and whispered something. He looked at her, a little embarrassed, and then looked at me.
“No, that- haa… . Yeah, yeah. I guess you all have thoughts. Do what you want. Anyway, have fun!”
“… . Thank you.”
She took a deep breath next to me, feeling as if a storm had passed. I didn’t think it was that big of a deal, but it didn’t seem to be the case for her.
“Anyway! Let’s change clothes!”
“… . For example.”
It looks so exciting, I shouldn’t say anything.
*
After telling the master that I would rest, I
Her words made me look back once again.
What I expected. What was it? That was, having fun with my child. No different from anyone else. Just a normal life, just like that, with my children.
Eat normally, say hello normally, and then go study normally.
I wanted to see that kind of child. Of course, if you asked me if I had seen him while traveling, I would have nothing to say about it. I did see him. That’s true.
but….
“I, with my child… .”
I wanted to live with my child like a parent and child. If that was the case, I should have gone against the rules set by the head of the household. It would have been right for me to run away with the children alone. However, I didn’t do that. I thought he would change his mind after all, because he is a father.
However, that opportunity flew away when the child actually went on a rampage.
While teaching and informing him about his abilities, the opportunity flew away. In the end, it proved that he was right, and he said that it is not too late to do it after the child retires.
But I knew.
Even if we told him everything then, he would never return to us. And all those words about him being safe were lies.
I knew that children could go to war. But that was only when the cycle was complete. It wasn’t an uncertain cycle like now. Besides, with a child’s strength, he was a leading role, and most direct descendants would go to battle after the succession was confirmed. And that was when he was 10 years old, in the winter.
Those with many successors would have a battle to decide who would succeed them, and if the successor was an only child, that child would succeed them. This was a rule that had been passed down from ancient times.
Of course, we had a clear successor. … Because we raised Yeon-i as an illegitimate child. If that’s the excuse, then yes. It’s very unreasonable, but I understood.
And that wasn’t the only problem. The kid was so badly injured that he didn’t come back. That in itself was a problem. His arm, his arm was cut off in battle. Does that make sense?
He is still 10 years old. Before he is even recognized as an adult! Before that, he is still considered a child by everyone. According to the laws of the country of Joseon, he is not an adult.
From the age of 10, the person who is chosen as the successor begins to work. From that time on, everyone changes their title from Little White Tiger, White Tiger. White Tiger. It has that much significance, but it is not a coming of age ceremony.
“Sigh… .”
In many ways, it was frustrating. How foolish it must be to hear that a country that has been around for hundreds of years maintains and upholds discipline that even the people would sigh at when they hear it. I felt like an idiot, too.
While I was among them, I thought only of them. That shouldn’t have happened. Isn’t that why I came to this conclusion?
“The child can never like me.”
I had to face the bitter truth that I had repeatedly turned away from, even though I didn’t want to.
Yes, even that is a disease. It is a disease of wanting to avoid the truth. Don’t you know this better than anyone?
Because I saw dozens, hundreds of those kids on the battlefield.
*
I’m changing clothes.
The child just stood there staring at the wall, saying that he was used to it. Earlier, I was really flustered by my brother’s sudden behavior. I didn’t say anything to the child because I was considerate of him.
But, the look on my child’s face when he suddenly started talking to me and looked at me as if he was wondering what I was talking about really scared me.
“Hoo… .”
But then, I suddenly became curious. What kind of expression would that child make when he saw me undressed?
Pure curiosity arose. … After all, isn’t he a child without emotions? Even if it was the words of that bumbling brother, if he was really going forward, he would have reacted to me.
He said this while looking at the servant who was changing his clothes.
“I want to play a prank on that kid.”
“… Yes?”
“I want to show up wearing less clothes, is that okay?”
“No way!”
Of course, my proposal failed. Tsk. Oh, well, that’s only natural. Because it’s ingrained in people that they shouldn’t do that. He’s a foreign man.
Seriously, if you look closely, it’s completely blocked.
“You shouldn’t look at me like that while clicking your tongue.”
“… . Oh, I got it! ”
That’s why I don’t like kids who have been with me for a long time. They know too well what I think and do!
In that case, wouldn’t it be okay to at least show that you’re taking the clothes I was wearing and see what the reaction is?
“Then take this now.”
“… Yes?”
“You’ve already worn all your clothes. If you need to mend or throw them away, wouldn’t it be easier to move them nearby in advance?”
“… . Just move them all at once.”
“Oh really… . Got it.”
In the end, my desire to find out the child’s reaction was not realized. Well, whatever. Everyone here knows that the child likes me.
Because of the rumbling sound that could be heard for some reason, everyone seemed to know what kind of child that was.
“So, is that the little white tiger that kid really likes?”
“Yeah. Isn’t it cute?”
“Yes, your face is really cute. … But, like the young lady said, it really does look like a doll, but is it really like that? ”
“… Yeah. I have some circumstances.”
“… . Is the young lady taking care of it?”
“Yeah! My brother said that the baby is getting better too.”
At those words, Shidong let out a laugh. I told you, that laugh is not something you can get used to. She’s younger than me, but she has big breasts.
“Then, I guess I should cheer you on too.”
“No, that’s not it!!”
“No, Miss, anyone can see that you are in love, right?”
“… !”
I felt my face turn bright red. Everyone said it was too much, but I was… I was there to fix that kid.
“That’s not it!!!”
As I screamed, “Pfft!” a cute sound echoed from somewhere.
“먘?!”
“… . Phew… . Puhahahahahahaha!!”
At that sight, the child smiled for a long time and was fond of him. He accepted it without any complaints, but that was originally my privilege!
For no reason, I was feeling jealous.
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