episode_0072

“Are you really going to be okay alone?”

“I told you, I’m fine. This place is practically my home—what’s there to worry about?”

Even as she waved her hand dismissively, telling him there was nothing to worry about and to hurry along, Ian hesitated, reluctant to leave. At this point, it was almost like separation anxiety. Aside from when they slept, they had hardly been apart, so even Arina found this unfamiliar.

Still, unlike the other two, who wouldn’t have had a reason to come to the Magic Tower otherwise, the scenery here held no particular fascination for her, even now.

More than anything, after what had happened last time, Arina was filled with a sense of urgency—she needed to bring Millen and Ian together as soon as possible. That’s why she had even gone so far as to cling to her master and obtain a card to hand to Millen.

“Hmph. You’ve already set everything up, and now you’re pretending otherwise? How pathetic.”

“It’s not like that… I’m rooting for you. Trust me.”

Because if she didn’t, she felt like she, too, would soon start acting strange. Ignoring the dull ache in her chest, Arina whispered encouragement to Millen, urging her to do well, and then gave her a firm push.

“You’re really pushing me into this? I’m trusting you one last time.”

“Yeah, go for it. Seduce him. What’s so hard about snagging one guy?”

“Are you mocking me right now?”

Though they bickered a little, in the end, the two of them were in agreement. After Ian and Millen left, Arina, now alone, stepped out of the guest room in the residential wing shortly after.

Even if she had no intention of touring the Magic Tower, this place was like a long-lost home to her, so she had to at least go and exchange greetings. Since she had already visited the research wing, she made her way to the experimental wing, exchanging small talk with those who recognized her along the way.

“Liel.”

Among them, the one who called out to her this time was a bit… special. They weren’t particularly close. If anything, the other person might even dislike her.

One of the few female mages in the Magic Tower—and the very reason Arina had once been on the receiving end of their sharp glares.

“It’s been a while, Chloe.”

Chloe Rosemary. She, too, had likely been one of them.

“Got a minute to talk? You free?”

“As long as you are, anytime.”

“Still haven’t dropped that habit of acting like a gentleman, huh? Do you still think you’re a man?”

Looking pleased with yourself, aren’t you? That’s probably what she was thinking. Among the scarce number of female mages, Chloe was notorious for her strong pride. Though she tried not to show it, the faint disdain radiating from her was unmistakable—if she disliked her, it was understandable.

“I’m going back. No matter what.”

“Yeah, I figured you’d say that. You’ve always been overflowing with self-love, haven’t you?”

“Did you come here just to pick a fight?”

“You call this picking a fight? Compared to what you’ve said to me, this is nothing.”

So she had been holding onto it. No wonder those strange rumors still lingered. Had she really not thought about this much lately?

Arina disliked women in general, but she especially hated this about them.

If there was something you didn’t like, you should say it outright and be done with it. Holding onto grudges for months, even years, and then dragging them out in petty, annoying ways—it was the epitome of irrationality and inefficiency.

“You should know this isn’t meant to upset you. It’s just an honest piece of advice, objectively speaking.”

“And that’s exactly why it hurts sometimes. You wouldn’t understand, would you? You, who always does the right thing.”

The old her definitely wouldn’t have understood. If someone couldn’t accept proper behavior and advice, she would’ve thought it was entirely their fault.

“Then that’s your mistake,” she would’ve said. No matter how hard or painful it is, you have to endure and carry it. Because she herself had always lived by those words, she couldn’t comprehend those who couldn’t.

Even now, consumed by vengeance, that way of thinking hadn’t changed. Arina firmly believed her revenge was the right thing to do. Corrupting the hero’s party and punishing the one who wielded that power for their own selfish desires wasn’t just for her sake—it was necessary for the world.

But now, what had once come so naturally felt a little heavier. She had been through too much to remain as effortlessly strong and righteous as before.

Now, even Arina could understand them. She didn’t have to bear and lead—she could walk beside them.

“…It’s late, but if I upset you, I’m sorry.”

“What? ‘Upset’? What’s gotten into you?”

“Just… my perspective’s widened a bit. Or maybe I should say, it’s thanks to how things turned out?”

The incident she had once thought of as a curse wasn’t entirely misfortune. If she hadn’t ended up in this body, she would’ve died years ago.

Ironically, the very things the one she despised had done became the driving force that kept her alive. If she had died back then, she would’ve spent her last moments looking down on the world with arrogance, never understanding others.

She would never have known a woman’s heart, never felt what it was like to be truly loved, never cherished someone so much that the mere thought of them made her chest swell.

Liel Frost had undoubtedly loved Yuria, but Arina was certain that love could never compare to what she felt now.

“…Are you really Liel Frost? I thought the rumors about you being involved with a man were nonsense, but are you actually in love?”

“Seems like it.”

There was no point denying it now. No matter how much she tried to deceive herself into thinking these feelings weren’t hers, acknowledging them was still uncomfortable—but it was too obvious to ignore.

“…Seriously? No way, you—really…?”

Watching Chloe stumble over her words, Arina let out a small laugh.

“Is it really that surprising?”

“I mean… wouldn’t anyone be? Even if rumors were going around, hardly anyone took them seriously. ‘Liel Frost, head over heels for a man, completely helpless’—who’d believe that?”

“Well, that part is nonsense. It’s not that bad.”

Though she denied it firmly, anyone who had been there at the time would’ve called it an unconvincing lie.

“Even so, I can’t believe it. You, who used to look down on women, have really become one—heart and all. What’s next, learning domestic magic?”

“Speaking of which, wasn’t it you who was told to learn domestic magic because you had no talent for combat spells? Why did you twist it into something else?”

Though brief, this had been the reason Liel Frost became disliked by nearly every female mage in the Magic Tower. She hadn’t cared what others thought, but the dishonorable titles they’d given her still grated on her.

“‘Twist’? I just voiced the thoughts you never said out loud.”

“By spreading bad rumors about me to everyone else?”

Arina shot her a sharp glare, but Chloe brushed it off effortlessly and asked,

“Anyway, does that mean we’ll get to see Liel Frost devoted to her husband? That’d be pretty entertaining.”

“No. These feelings… I’ll just bury them. The me right now is just a fake. A hollow shell with old memories. The real me isn’t this body that’s only lived a few years—it’s Liel Frost. I have to get the real me back.”

If she hadn’t been determined to do that, she wouldn’t have worked so hard to deny and run from her own heart all this time.

“If what you’re saying is true, and you’re just a fake who isn’t Liel Frost… then the moment you go back, the ‘you’ right now will disappear, won’t you?”

“Even so, that’s the right thing to do.”

Stubborn as stone—intelligent, yet rigid in her thinking. Chloe sighed, pressing her fingers to her temples.

“See, this is why people can’t be fixed. Even if you think they’ve changed, some things stay exactly the same.”

“What’s your problem? Am I wrong?”

Arina bristled at the inexplicable criticism, prompting Chloe to press a finger to her lips and reply,

“That’s exactly the problem. Right or wrong—is that really so important?”

“Of course it is! How can anyone act properly without distinguishing between right and wrong?”

“Then what about your heart? Aren’t emotions the root of life, the most important thing to a person? Why are you trying to throw yourself away over what’s ‘right’ or ‘wrong’?”

The conversation had veered into philosophical territory, leaving Arina unable to retort. Throw yourself away. The modifier “current” might need to be added, but it wasn’t entirely wrong.

Because the subject was herself, she had been able to say it so easily until now. But if someone else had been facing the same dilemma, even she would’ve told them they didn’t need to discard their current self.

“You’ve always been like this. In the face of what you believed was right, emotions were nothing more than trivial errors. That’s why, even as I respected you as a mage, I could never like the human named Liel Frost.”

“…That’s not unique to me. Any mage would’ve said the same.”

“But you were the greatest mage. And the most extreme about it.”

Chloe believed Arina had been the one to drive the final nail into the Magic Tower’s culture of dismissing emotions. People tended to idolize and emulate those they admired, after all.

So that’s why she had been so hostile toward her. Arina’s lips twitched briefly before she sealed them shut again.

“You know what? I’ve been learning domestic magic all this time. Annoyingly enough, you were right—I picked it up dozens of times faster than combat magic. It’s frustrating how well it’s going, but I had to admit it. When it comes to magic, you were correct.”

Just as Arina wondered why she was suddenly praising her, Chloe immediately added,

“So you should be honest with your own heart, too. At least in this area, I’m better than you.”

Arina quickly racked her brain for a counterargument. You don’t understand. I have dozens of reasons to go back.

But seeing her gearing up to retort, Chloe turned and walked away without another word.

“That—just saying whatever she wants and—!”

Swallowing the inexplicable frustration of feeling like she’d lost, a few days later—

“Took less time than I thought, didn’t it? It’s done. The mana absorption device.”