episode_0071
by adminAfter the child followed the little boy out of the room.
I was just talking at the request of the master.
“What did you want to talk about that made you call me aside?”
There was no reason for her to call me. No, if there was, there was, but there was no reason to have such a dangerous conversation now. There might be a king’s vassal, or she might overlook the territory of the master.
In the first place, it’s not just the child that’s being covered up, so if there are two strangely ambiguous places within the family of the master, please openly track us down. It was no different from doing that. I didn’t want that either.
Because I was curious about her intentions, I decided to stay and talk to her.
“Nothing special.”
Jujak opened his mouth to speak, looking at me. There was a kind of guilt in his eyes as he looked at me.
“Do you know what that child is thinking, Mom?”
“… . Yes?”
I couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed when she asked me such an obvious question. Why on earth would she ask such a question? What would she gain by asking me? I don’t know what on earth she’s trying to say by asking me such a question.
I don’t know what to say to her, if only to point out that I don’t know anything about that child.
“I don’t mean to offend you.”
“Then why are you telling me this story… .”
There are many people who are thinking about that child. The man who was with the child was like that, I was like that, Han-i was like that too. There are so many, so if worry is not the problem, then what on earth is the reason for this woman to ask such a question?
In terms of understanding, it was something I absolutely could not understand. I could not understand what on earth she wanted or what she wanted to say. After all, it was not good for her to be here. The fact that she had kept me here also meant that she had something to say.
“… . Because I wanted to talk about what that child wants.”
“… .”
I was silent.
No, I had no choice but to remain silent. Because I couldn’t say that I knew. Who was I? Not knowing the child’s true feelings, not raising the child properly.
Wasn’t I the worst mother, unable to even understand why my child acted like that, or why he had such a mindset? What right did I have to talk about such things? I didn’t want to talk about it. I would never understand it.
But, I needed to talk. I loved the child. More than anything, more than anything. Now, even more than when I loved her passionately, this child, Han-i and Yeon-i, were precious to me.
Not saying anything, just lowering my head. That was the best I could do.
The best I can do. She, who had been watching quietly, opened her mouth to me.
“The kid just wanted to rest.”
“Rest… . Are you saying that?”
“Yes. That’s right. I wanted to sleep in any way I could. It didn’t matter if it was forever. I just seemed to be looking forward to the day when I wouldn’t have to do this and that.”
“How about that… .”
“This is one of the characteristics of the power I have. It is because I can erase the darkness that arises inside the opponent. Of course, I am a special case. Even during this kind of awakening, I can even look at the target’s memories. However… .”
“But… ?”
I was worried. I didn’t know what she was going to say. What on earth was she trying to say that made her hesitate so much? My heart was filled with worry and it made me feel hot.
The heat made my blood evaporate and turn it cold, but somehow, I couldn’t help but tense up even more.
“… . He didn’t want to be with his family. He didn’t want to be associated with his family.”
“… .”
I felt dizzy and my eyes were spinning. The child had finally figured out that she hated me. I had heard from her the information I didn’t want to know. The information I most wanted to know. I, who was confident that I was excellent at understanding people’s emotions. I, who could read the soldiers’ minds better than anyone else on the battlefield and figure out what orders the nobles would give.
I didn’t notice that the child was having such a hard time.
“… Are you okay?”
Her words sounded distant. It was to the point where I wanted to completely let go of the string of hope I had been holding on to. It was a string of hope that I had been holding on to awkwardly, but now I wanted to let it go. Why, Ain.
No, why me.
When the child was born, when Baek-han made that decision, didn’t he choose to run away with the two of them? Because of that one petty choice that he would die without me?
He’s crazy. In the end, he’ll become so obsessed with finding me that he won’t even die, and he’ll live on resenting me no matter what.
-Kudduk.
I felt like my teeth were grinding. Her words were becoming increasingly vague. What on earth should I do?
Me disappearing from my child’s life. Is that the right answer?
I couldn’t come up with an answer. I had been searching for the right answer, but at this time, none of those things shone through.
“Haha… . Right, I see.”
It was the words of the divine being. There was no way I could have doubted it. Don’t I know better? I ignored the power of the divine being, and my husband, whom I loved the most, almost died. So I foolishly respected his choice, and that’s why my child ended up like that.
Besides, it wouldn’t be that strange for a child who almost died for following my words to hate his family.
Who would love someone who almost killed them, someone who treated them so cruelly? I have never done that, but think about the child’s position. The child almost died following me, and when he came back alive, she was not there. It is natural for the child to cherish her.
Yes. If you think that way, then you can understand the child’s thoughts, words, and actions.
But I didn’t know that the child would think that way, so I looked up at the stars and found the child with hope.
That’s why it was like that. That’s why I accepted the child like this. Up until now, I had been holding onto that shallow hope that we could become friends.
“… . Madam.”
The sound of the hawk calling me is distant. It seems like it’s shouting something at me, but I can’t hear it.
I want to see my child right now, but I have to hold back. I am not hope for my child, but a falling star. How on earth can I see my child? I can’t.
“I’m sorry. Right now, right now, I need to rest.”
*
It was by chance that I came here.
My head feels strangely swollen and floating. It’s like the scent of a persimmon tree that I smelled once. I clearly remember eating something very spicy and playing with a young jujak.
But why am I here now?
I racked my brain a bit. I couldn’t figure out what on earth I was doing here. Madam had clearly said that this was a rehearsal for a march. But this wasn’t where you go on a march.
I heard that the original place to go was Madam’s original hometown, so why on earth is it here?
No, of course I liked it. It was like the warm scent of sunlight, like the scent of the azalea trees that still lingered, like the sunshine of a spring day, gently passing through my head.
“Yeon-ah.”
“… Yes.”
Be careful. Just like before, you might get carried away by that feeling and lose control.
-It’s okay if you lose. Yeon-ah, you, always… .
The ability had been saying something, but it didn’t matter to me. I had to remember that I was on a mission now.
Earlier, I was able to play because of the words of the master’s mother, but not now.
“I’ll make you a fire toy later!”
“!”
It was a tempting offer. It was more fun than I thought. When I was feeling good, I started to make sounds. I shouldn’t have these feelings, so I’ll have to suppress them again tomorrow.
“Hehehe.”
She looked at me and turned around as if she was feeling good, and walked away lightly. I don’t know what made her feel so good, but seeing her feel good made me feel good too.
However, that feeling soon began to feel threatened.
“Hey, Balsam!”
“Ah, brother!”
It was because of the appearance of her older brother.
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