episode_0069

“No, I don’t want to.”

Huh?

Even though she spoke clearly and precisely, her voice was so resolute, concise, and devoid of warmth that for a moment, I wondered if I had misheard. But the repeated answer played vividly in my mind, and since it made no sense to dismiss it as a mishearing, I had to acknowledge the fact that Stae had rejected my proposal.

······Uh, uh, uh?

Right after acknowledging reality, my mind was filled not with the question “Why did she reject my proposal?” but with a dreadful unease at having seen what I shouldn’t have seen.

Despite the lingering effects of treatment and the pressure enveloping my entire body, my body and surroundings should have been warmer than usual. Yet, for some reason, upon hearing her response, all that warmth lost its meaning, leaving only a chilling coldness that pierced through my heart.

In a situation where the body should have trembled like a leaf in the wind due to the influence of the mind and soul, an unprecedented anxiety engulfed me from head to toe, something I had never experienced before.

S-she said no. Stae just said she doesn’t want to. As if my request for her to stay by my side even after the treatment ends is an offer that requires no consideration, she rejected it outright······.

As my thoughts lengthened, the happy visions I had naturally started to distort and transform under their influence.

Is Stae going to leave? When the treatment is over······ When I open my eyes after the treatment, will she be gone?

The reason why the future in my warm, joyous daydreams automatically brought a smile to my face was because Stae was there. It was the presence of Stae that made it impossible for me to return to the time when loneliness was a given, a time when I didn’t know the warmth of others.

However, hearing “I don’t like it” from his mouth, I could no longer imagine a happy future as comfortably as before.

Imagination was just that, and reality always had a way of overwhelming imagination too easily.

Ah, ah… Uh, uh…

In the face of the reality that Stay had rejected my proposal, even that small imagination couldn’t maintain its original form.

The imagination that had clouded my vision, once devoured by reality, naturally brought forth another reality that I had unconsciously wanted to forget, slipping into delusions I had forgotten, unconsciously wanted to forget.

Come to think of it, Stay and… we made a contract.

The reality I wanted to forget was the contract formed on the first day he and I met.

The moment the treatment ends, this relationship ends.

Everything that happened in this hospital becomes nothing, and the moment the treatment ends, we become strangers to each other.

To the extent that I deeply realized why I unconsciously wanted to forget, just imagining the contents of the contract brought about a dreadful sensation that seemed to plunge me into an endless abyss, gripping my heart.

Then, when the treatment ends, will I no longer feel this warmth? Will I no longer be able to embrace Stay? Will we become strangers? Will Stay disappear from my life, from Adamas’s life?

The dreadful thoughts about the future swirled around me to the point of making me retch.

I hate it. I absolutely hate it. I hate becoming unable to feel this warmth. I hate being unable to hold Stay…!

In a state where only my mind remained, the strength of my mental state weakened terribly, and in this situation, mental collapse brings irreversible consequences.

The aftermath of clearly imagining a dreadful future would make the sense of helplessness I felt for a month after becoming a plant-human seem insignificant, rendering it impossible to even maintain my own identity.

Because such a thing must not happen, I quickly identified the cause of this problem and was able to derive an appropriate solution.

That solution is precisely…

Alright, if it’s this painful to see Stae leave, then I should just make it so that Stae can’t leave…

“Dain.”

“Huh?”

A warm voice tickled my ear, interrupting the cold and aloof thoughts that had made me feel so miserable. It was Stae’s voice, the kind that I always wanted to hear, the one I knew and loved. But in a situation where my mind was so preoccupied, merely calling out a name seemed trivial, like peeing on a fire hydrant. I refocused on devising a plan to prevent the dreadful future from coming, rather than just calling out a name.

“Dain, can I just sleep here while holding you tonight?”

“Really?! Why, why?”

Why is she suddenly saying this? No, it doesn’t matter right now. I’ll just say okay first. If I hesitate, she might think I don’t want to and leave! Wait, but sleeping with Stae? Normally, I always fell asleep alone and only saw her waking up. This time, could I see Stae sleeping? Of course, I can’t consider her a human, but I would be able to hear her breathing while she sleeps, right? Wow, that would be really interesting! I want to do it right away!

“Sure, I’m fine with it! Yeah! There’s no reason for me to dislike it! Come on, come in here!”

Putting off asking why she suddenly suggested this in case it sways Stae’s mind, I quickly accepted her proposal.

“You’re already holding me, why do you want me to come in further?”

“Oh? Um, it’s just… if I say ‘okay,’ you seem a bit bored…”

“Haha, I never expected to hear such a joke from you.”

Wait, did she just laugh at what I said?

Though brief, it was definitely a laugh that came from Stae’s lips.

She laughed at my joke. Stae laughed because of me. Stae became happy because of me!

Throughout my life, being surrounded by the smiles and praises of countless people, I should have been indifferent to situations where someone laughs. However, for some reason, when I heard Stay’s brief laughter, a tremendous sense of fulfillment struck my heart unlike any other time.

Uh, uh-huh. Why? Why do I feel so good? We were just talking as usual. Just the fact that Stay laughed made me feel incredibly happy…

Different from the physical warmth created by bodily contact, there was another means that deeply made me feel not alone. The name of that means was conversation, and through it, I deeply felt that I wasn’t alone.

“Ehehe…”

Uncharacteristically, a foolish laugh burst out involuntarily, as the frivolous banter mixed into our conversation brought me such joy.

“Well then, maybe I should try to join in on the banter coming from your lips once. How about that?”

“Huh? Wh-what?!”

However, while I had become somewhat satisfied after discovering the enjoyment of conversation, Stay, unlike me, seemed unsatisfied. She turned my body around and buried her face in her chest.

“Ugh.”

“Well, lying together like this on the same bed, isn’t it better to hold each other face to face rather than back hugs?”

Simultaneously wrapping her arms around my back and nape, she tightly embraced my body, whispering into my ear, causing me, who had already been laughing since before, to have only one thing I could do.

“Uh-huh♥ Ahh♥”

I simply melted with happiness.

Ah, warm♥ Nice♥ I want to be like this for the rest of my life♥

So soft that I couldn’t even remember what I was thinking about earlier.

※

[The subject has fainted. Connection terminated.]

Thud.

Along with the notification of fainting, I felt the sensation of the connection in my heart abruptly disconnecting.

Now, it was a familiar notification and sensation, but at this moment, it was more welcome than ever.

“Phew…”

Because the appearance of this notification meant that Dain Adamas would no longer be able to entertain those dreadful and terrifying thoughts immediately.

I carefully removed the arm that Dain Adamas was hugging and, like shedding a snake’s skin, I slowly slipped out of her bed with the barest of movements.

Immediately after, using my newly liberated hands, I disconnected the call that had likely been connected to the speakers in two other patients’ rooms. Silently, I left the ward and entered the duty room.

Click.

Closing the door to the duty room, even though I knew there was nothing around, I had to search the surroundings a few times before I could muster the courage to express the sincerity I had been holding back.

“Wow, I almost lost it for real······!”

Dain Adamas’s muttered words, akin to the abyss of terror, began as soon as she heard my refusal.

Just recalling them sent shivers down my spine, and I firmly resolved, trembling like a bamboo tree in the wind.

“I need to come up with a proper plan, a proper solution······!”

The current time: 1 AM.

“A solution that can escape from that dreadful future!”

And so, after consuming a whopping six hours, I finally initiated the desperate emergency response committee to obtain results.