episode_0068

…Truthfully.

When I saw Agape that day, I wanted to cry my eyes out. I wanted to be held in his familiar embrace, and foolishly, I wanted to wail and ask why his body had so many more scars.

***

I had never once received news about Agape. Whether he was in Fallen, or if he had escaped Fallen and was outside, whether he became a farmer, a knight, a mercenary, or an adventurer. Whenever I asked the Prophet of Light about Agape, he always avoided my questions with a mysterious smile.

So I only held onto the vague idea that he was still living inside the city, or that he had somehow escaped outside on his own and was alive. Honestly, my thoughts leaned more towards Agape still living inside Fallen. Considering my unilateral breakup notification and the returned ring, the Agape I knew would surely have been frustrated and simultaneously lost the will to live.

That’s why I worked even harder to raise my rank, devoting all my strength to my activities as a hero, and struggling to subjugate the forces of death as quickly as possible.

But then.

I thought I knew everything about him. So I thought he, consumed by despair, would still be living inside the city. For the first time, my assumption about Agape was wrong; he appeared before me, wearing the resplendent armor of Duke Oleg’s house, calling out my name.

And only then did I realize. Why Lucas had smiled so mysteriously whenever I asked him about Agape. He had been looking forward to it. My appearance, frozen and speechless for a long time in confusion, when Agape and I, wearing the ring, reunited. And simultaneously, Agape’s expression, consumed by despair upon seeing the ring on my ring finger. He wanted to see and was looking forward to our relationship reaching a catastrophic end, which was why he always wore that mysterious smile and gave no hint.

“Kara…”

My ears twitched. A voice I missed called out to me. A voice I loved called out to me. A piteous voice, filled with worry and longing.

The resonance of that voice traveled from the tips of my ears deep into my bones, making me involuntarily tremble, and I almost burst into tears.

“What’s wrong, Kara?”

Along with the voice of that disgusting scoundrel.

Thud—

“Aaaargh…!”

His arm was pierced and pinned to a tree with the spear.

Crack—

“Die.”

When the spear was pulled from the tree and aimed at Agape’s chest. It pulled the trigger on my hesitation, which I had desperately tried to maintain. Involuntarily, my body lunged forward, and I grabbed the scoundrel’s wrist with my right hand.

“There’s no need for this.”

…And in the end.

“That…”

The lapis lazuli ring.

“That ring, …what is it?”

The existence of the ring I least wanted to be discovered, the most disgusting ring, was revealed.

“……What happened?”

The end of his words trembled subtly. His emotions were directly conveyed to me.

And then.

“Kara!!”

Hearing his voice, shouting at me for the first time, my heart sank.

‘Agape…’

Agape…

Agape…

“……”

Agape.

I called his name dozens of times more in my mind. I wanted to make some excuse, say something. I wanted to utter any words to ease his despair-filled expression. But I couldn’t grasp where to start, how, or in what way to speak.

As I agonized over what to do, Agape eventually began clashing weapons with Astolfo. He tried to use an unknown power but was suppressed by Astolfo and reduced to a rag.

“Just die now, you lowly wretch.”

At the scoundrel’s words, I finally stopped agonizing and hesitating, and once again had no choice but to stand in his way.

“What are you doing?”

“Stop it.”

An argument ensued for a moment. With Astolfo trying to kill him and me trying to save him, Agape looked up at us with lifeless eyes. Empty, dead eyes.

“Tch.”

Astolfo left, and I had Danoa dismiss the surrounding knights. As soon as a place was prepared for Agape and me to talk alone, the first words from Agape, who had survived by taking a top-grade potion, were this:

“……I don’t know where to start.”

I understood. I couldn’t help but understand. With those eyes, still vividly before me, staring at us while he breathed heavily, how could I not be confused?

Just then.

“Ugh…!”

Splat—

“!!!!!!!!”

A mouthful of blood poured from his mouth. So much that I wondered if he might die. The blood formed a dark red puddle. Agape’s face reflected in the dark red puddle on the dry ground, and his terrible expression appeared before my eyes like a mirror.

‘Agape…’

I called that name again.

‘Agape, I……’

It felt utterly impossible. Even if it meant breaking a ‘promise,’ even if only death awaited our future. I’d rather die; I didn’t have the confidence to live on, watching this tragedy continue.

In the end, I opened my mouth before him, intending to break the ‘promise.’

“Agape, I…”

“For ten years… I searched for you.”

He cut me off first.

“I was worried.”

In a faint voice, as if muttering.

“I wanted to tell you I missed you.”

At those words, emotions threatened to well up within me.

“Even if it was agonizingly difficult, I endured and came this far. To find you, to save you, whom I thought would be suffering…”

Drip— Drip—

Blood dripped from the ends of his hair, creating ripples in the dark red puddle.

“Heh, hehehehehe…”

With that, my beloved began to let out a bitter laugh, and his expression, as he laughed bitterly with his head bowed, was clearly revealed.

“……”

On the puddle, rippled by the blood dripping from the ends of his hair, his smile and face were stained black and hideously distorted. His black eyes looked empty and unseen, and his smiling face, as if his mouth had been burned away, stretched long, making him look like a monster.

Seeing that sight.

Clench—

Involuntarily, I clenched my hands tightly, and I couldn’t help but tremble.

“For what, exactly, did I live so desperately?”

He had lost the meaning of life. He had lost his reason for living, and his world had crumbled. That’s how I understood his words.

“……”

I couldn’t say anything. Because I didn’t know what to say in front of him. Because I didn’t know what words would bring even a little comfort to the man I loved most. Because of that, I simply kept pressing down on my trembling hands, suppressing their shaking.

And once again, gathering my courage, just as I was about to tell him the full story, sticking to my earlier resolve.

“Ah—”

Behind him, whose head was bowed. From far behind him, a man in a pristine white ritual robe adorned with gold thread was watching me. Wearing a plain, pristine white mask with no patterns. As if this situation was incredibly amusing and exciting, he was observing our plight with childlike excitement.

And as if he were a film director wanting to sprinkle more seasoning on this tragic story.

Shhh.

With his index finger raised to his lips, he urged me to be silent.

In one hand, he held the Book of Perpetuity. As if he would kill Agape at any moment. Behind him, prophets subservient to him and his circle were preparing to kill Agape from a distance at any moment.

And seeing the numerous daggers aimed at him.

‘…Agape.’

Like a sandcastle before a wave, my resolve dulled in an instant. In the end, the only choice I, frightened, could make was one thing.

Tremble, tremble, tremble.

‘…I’m sorry.’

Suppressing the trembling of my hands, I looked between Agape and the prophets aiming daggers at him for a moment. Then I called his name and had to deliver words I would rather die than say.

“…Agape.”

I’m sorry.

“Let’s… end this now.”

I’m truly… truly sorry.

“……”

Agape, who had been bowing his head, remained unresponsive, like a corpse. To him, I had to say even harsher words.

“It’s been ten years.”

I spoke of the weight of ten years.

“Many things happened during that time.”

Saying that many things happened during those ten years.

Memories not even a speck as precious as the ones I built with you, as if they were cherished memories.

“I’ve also found precious people.”

To you, who are far more precious to me, I spoke as if my comrades were more precious than you.

“After going through battlefields where lives were on the line, I now have comrades by my side who are incredibly precious.”

I strung a series of lies to Agape.

“Astolfo always protected me when you weren’t there. From the prophets’ pressure, and in battles against the forces of death.”

Uttering dreadful words I detested speaking. As if that scoundrel was precious.

“…I’m sorry.”

Along with an apology, I prattled on about wanting to look at the present, not the past. Conveying words as if you were a relic of the past, asking you to disappear from my sight. As indifferently as possible, as if you were nothing. All while under the pressure of the Prophet of Light, who was watching me from over there.

“……”

Agape, who had shown no reaction, finally opened his mouth. But what he said to me was even darker and more dismal than I expected.

…Because.

“…I’ll just ask you one thing, Kara.”

It wasn’t lingering sorrow mixed with regret, like ‘I don’t want to break up with you’ or ‘Don’t leave me.’ Instead, it was a question mixed with resignation, asked like a dying person’s last breath, crushed by despair he couldn’t overcome.

“When you sent me that letter ten years ago, from then on, did you give up on us being like this?”

His voice was flat. A voice I had never heard before, so devoid of life that I wondered if a person’s soul and spirit would sound like this when they left the body.

‘…No.’

I want to stop now. If I have to say such harsh words instead of telling him I missed him, I’d rather just run away. If it weren’t for the Prophet of Light watching us from afar, I would have just taken him and fled from this spot.

…Clench.

I clenched my fists so tightly that my skin felt like it would tear. And then.

…And no longer able to hide the trembling in my voice.

“…Yes.”

I answered his words affirmatively. Saying that I had given up from then on. That to protect me from countless threats…

“You were too weak.”

I told him he was too weak. To him, for whom failing to protect his mother had become a trauma, I said such words.

“…At least.”

He was about to open his mouth to say something, but closed it again.

“……”

He tightly shut his mouth, and silence descended between us once more.

“Heh…”

As the long silence continued, he let out a bitter, self-mocking laugh, as if pondering something. And seeing that, I instinctively realized.

…Now.

‘I’m sorry.’

That the time had come to say the words that would signify the end.

‘…I’m sorry.’

“Agape.”

I called his name one last time.

“Let’s end this now.”

“……”

“It’s time to wake up from the dream, Agape.”

I don’t want to say these words. In truth, I don’t want to wake up from the dream either. I want to escape this terrible nightmare right now. I’d rather be trapped in an illusion, just to fall back into a sweet dream like before.

“In the past, we promised to marry once we left the city, but I don’t think I can keep that promise anymore.”

I’m sorry.

“…I’m sorry.”

I’m sorry.

“…Now, please never appear in my life again.”

With those words, I could never see Agape again.

***

“Haa, haa, haa…”

Two days.

Armed with armor, after riding a teleportation portal, I ran continuously for two whole days. Exhausting all my aura, like a madwoman. Pushing my body, which possessed a Sword Master’s physique, to the point of screaming protests, I ran with all my might to this place.

Fallen.

A city filled only with pain and screams, but conversely, for me, a fated city filled only with happiness and memories. As soon as the city appeared beyond the horizon, the chill began to be felt, as befitting the coldest eastern weather on the continent.

“Haa…”

My breath escaped in the cold air.

“Finally.”

Finally.

Finally, an agonizing moment that felt like an eon had come to an end. I, who had wanted to go outside the city and enjoy freedom more than anyone, had returned to the city where the greatest freedom existed.

“Now, if I go inside—”

Agape would be waiting for me.

Clip-clop— Clip-clop—

“Hmm? Who’s there?”

Just then, an old man appeared with a small carriage. With two small children riding in the carriage.