episode_0067

“Do you have to be in this position?”

It’s not bad because it’s warm.

But at this age, how about riding a swing together?

And on top of that, we were sitting facing each other.

“Did you dislike it…?”

Mirae told me to sit on the swing, but she climbed onto my thigh and hung on me like a koala.

I was able to keep my balance by somehow keeping my feet on the ground, but if I lost focus even a little bit, I felt like I would be thrown forward and fall over.

Besides, the swing was so narrow that it looked a bit pitiful to see Future’s thighs cramped up next to her.

“That’s not it, but… .”

Since it didn’t look like he was going to let me go easily, I just buried my face in Mirae’s chest.

The scent of the body wash that I am used to using the same product gives me a warmth that is on a whole other level than the one I had when I was poor.

This is our unique way of reconciling, no matter how small the fight.

It definitely feels like the future we’ve had so far… but what on earth has changed?

“… Is the ball okay?”

“It’s okay.”

I have a vague idea. There is no way the future would not notice this even if it did this much.

But I don’t have the courage to speak up first, and I don’t have the confidence to face the future and smile.

He muttered quietly with his face pressed against his chest.

“I’m sorry, Mom… … .”

“No, it was right.”

A gentle hand runs through my hair.

A bitter laugh came from above.

“Where did you hear that… Hitting was wrong… .”

Violence can never be justified, no matter what the reason.

No matter how surprised or hurt you were, you must not touch the precious body.

“Mom.”

But you still call me mom… .

It was a title I had always taken for granted. The shock of its loss was equally great.

But when we acknowledged that the destinations we each hoped for were different, even that obviousness felt precious.

“I’m sorry too… .”

Finally, with a single word of apology from the future, I became certain that I would never be able to live like before.

Maybe that’s why.

As the days spent with the future flashed by and various emotions crossed my mind, tears began to form in my eyes.

“Still, I can’t make excuses. I meant it… .”

The future that said that trembled and started talking nonsense.

“Ah… It’s not that I didn’t think of you as a mother… It’s… .”

A voice that suddenly became louder.

Soon the faint trembling stopped and the voice gradually became smaller.

“I am grateful to my mom… . I know she worked hard… I am glad to be her daughter… .”

Since we’ve been together until now, I know you better than anyone else.

How much the future loves me.

However, because it was different from what I had thought, I couldn’t accept it.

“So… .”

Besides, it’s not like I’ve been the only one trying so far.

The future is no different.

He never once strayed from the right path and caused me trouble, and he rose to the position of A-class hero at a young age with only one thought in mind: to protect me.

I was secretly worried because he always stayed by my side and didn’t even make any friends.

“If Mom wants… I will remain a daughter.”

From the voice faintly whispering in my ear, I had a strong feeling that this wasn’t the story I had originally intended to tell.

And on top of that, you were talking as if you were in so much pain… .

“No, tell me honestly.”

The future doesn’t have to carry all the pain.

Because our efforts were just directed in different directions.

No one forced me.

I became a mother on my own, and the future had different feelings for me.

“… I want to talk to you face to face.”

That’s exactly the story… .

“I’ll tell you properly this time.”

For some reason, my throat was so tight that I couldn’t answer.

I had to respond directly to the truth of the future… but I felt like I wanted to close my ears.

What on earth are you afraid of, when I asked you to tell me?

“읏… .”

Future’s fingers touched under his chin.

Since it was an action taken out of a desire to see the face, Future’s body naturally leaned back, but the swing was too small to support all of our weight.

“Huh… ?”

Slap─

“Ugh… .”

A round texture that wraps around your face.

The swing flipped over and she fell down with the future.

“Why is that… .”

As she lifted her upper body, feeling the dirt on the playground floor, the tears that had been piling up fell down near Mirae’s collarbone.

It’s not a trivial question like, “What made you fall?”

It’s probably a story from much earlier than that.

“Because I like it.”

A sweet sound that makes your heart flutter.

What was even more powerful was the warning signal in my head.

Perhaps it was because he couldn’t accept it physiologically. He was confessing to the child he had thought of as his daughter. Maybe it was because he didn’t feel it was real, but it felt like it was someone else’s business.

“That’s…not as a daughter, right?”

“Yeah, I can definitely tell you. It’s not like I’m delusional.”

The future added a word firmly.

It felt as if my escape route was being blocked in advance.

Of course, even in Tachibana’s case, he had been lying that he had mistaken his feelings.

You said that the me I saw briefly in the past and the me now are different.

But that’s not the future.

We have never been apart for a moment and have been together for the rest of our lives.

“As a woman, I love my mom.”

That’s why it was scary.

Our relationship, which I have cherished until now and thought would never change for the rest of my life.

That relationship changed in an instant.

That the future is leaving my arms and no longer my daughter, and that I have to accept my life as Iharu, not as a mother.

More than anything, I’m afraid that my future and my daily life will be shattered by my wrong choices.

But I want to stay like this.

Not wanting to change is just my greed.

“As a woman… .”

Perhaps the future also carries the same anxiety as I do.

All the anxiety that had been building up finally exploded, and that’s why I ended up choosing this difficult path.

“Mom… … .”

“Mom, what are those sisters doing? They’re just hugging each other!”

“Shhh… Look, don’t look! Support, support.”

The moment I was about to blurt out my unorganized thoughts, a child’s shrill voice came flying in from the entrance to the playground.

Why are there guests at this late hour?

More supportive than that… It’s definitely a bit of an unhealthy situation… .

“First… Shall we go in and talk? It’s a little cold… .”

I turned my head slightly, whispering quietly to Mirae, and my eyes met with the young mother’s, who was covering her daughter’s face with her hand.

“Mom, I told you I can’t sleep! I’ll sleep when I get home from playing!”

Perhaps frustrated because she couldn’t see ahead, my daughter raised her hand and shouted.

“Ji, just go home and play. If you keep disobeying mom, Chuchu will come and hit you?”

“Chu-chu?! I’m gonna get spanked! I’m gonna get punched by a cat!”

“Hey, hey… .”

Ahahaha… .

At the same time, he had a faint smile on his face.

If I had a daughter my age… it would be a very difficult time for her.

More than that, it seems like almost every family likes Chuchu. Well, it’s true that she appears on TV shows often and, above all, she’s cute.

“Trying to run away… .”

I wonder if the person next to him doesn’t care.

Mirae grabbed the back of my neck and pulled me towards her, growling quietly as if she was anxious.

“Ah, don’t run away!”

Even after raising my daughter, it’s still hard.

* * *

As soon as Mirae came home, she put the muddy cardigan in a laundry net.

“What, what is that? That’s Mom’s cardigan… .”

“I was in a hurry so I went out wearing the clothes I was wearing.”

My favorite black cardigan… .

Were you wearing it secretly when I was away?

But I felt a bit resentful because it seemed like it suited Mirae better than me.

Since I usually prefer clothes that are one size bigger, I ordered the cardigan in a large size as well, but when I wore it, it looked like I was stealing my dad’s clothes.

Well… I guess something like a cardigan doesn’t really matter.

“Haa… … .”

I laid down on the table and sighed as if the ground was falling apart.

How did it end up like this? I was sure that I would definitely end up with Seo-hu, and I actually thought the atmosphere wasn’t bad. Even before I became a high school student, whenever I had to go out somewhere, I would always invite my neighbors and go with them.

Well, what’s the use of thinking about this now?

Although it’s only fragmentary information and it hasn’t been long since the original work began, many things have already changed in the story.

Seo-hu, who was supposed to save Mirae on the day of the entrance ceremony, was reading a web novel on the bus. The person who defeated the demon was the heroine who was supposed to be saved.

Also, the sparring event that was supposed to make Seo-hoo’s name known during the first week of school didn’t happen. Of course, since Seo-hoo and Mirae aren’t the type to go around bragging, it may just have gone unnoticed by me.

In the end, I guess it’s right to say that the ‘Children of the Star’ I knew no longer exists.

“Mom, I’m twenty-seven now… .”

I raised my head slightly and looked at Mirae sitting in front of me.

I didn’t like the fact that it was going according to the original story. I also think it’s fortunate that this isn’t the world of a novel.

But I didn’t want it to turn out this way… .

“The ten year age gap is so big that they don’t even check compatibility.”

Yeah, that’s the part.

He really brought up a serious, realistic problem, but he just brushed it aside as if it was nothing… .

Who on earth taught you such sly lines?

“And… Would Mom believe me if I introduced you as my little brother to other people?”

“Eh, hey… Not to that extent.”

I couldn’t help but laugh out loud at the unexpected compliment.

“This isn’t a hidden camera or anything, is it?”

“If that’s what you really thought, it’s a little shocking.”

“Ah… That, that’s not it… Sorry… .”

Surely I was wrong just now.

Because it was a statement that was no different from completely ignoring the other person’s feelings.

“I see… .”

I kept my mouth shut and reflected on myself, then I muttered, releasing all the strength from my body.

The future mind has confirmed everything.

And it became comfortable because I wasn’t denying it.

“The future.”

I also wiped the smile from my lips.

I don’t know what the proper response is. There’s no manual for dealing with this situation.

I have to convey everything I’m thinking right now, only with my head and mouth.

“Still, I can’t think of Mirae as not being my daughter right now.”

More honestly.

“But I think it would be harder to move away from the future.”

And directly.

“So… can you give Mom some time?”

No one can predict how our relationship will change in the future.

Maybe the future will be unbearable and I will run away, and in the end, I will not be able to accept it and it will never come true.

A promise without a promise.

From the future’s perspective, it might seem like a really selfish request, but I couldn’t think of any other way.

“… … .”

There is a brief silence.

Thump, thump.

Why is my heart beating so loudly? It’s like I’m the one who confessed.

“Over there… is the future…?”

Unable to look straight into the future, he ended up lowering his head and muttering timidly.

Knock knock─

At the same time, a small sound flew into my ear.

Instead of answering, Mirae got up from her seat, sat down at the table, and cupped my ear with her palm.

“Mom.”

“Ugh… !”

I stretched my body backwards and looked into the future with eyes like a startled rabbit.

But that was only for a moment.

My face was so hot that I couldn’t hold it. In addition, the sound of my heartbeat was incomparably louder than before, and it seemed as if it was all transmitted to Mirae’s fingers that ran down the back of my neck.

“Why, why… .”

Eventually, I closed my eyes tightly and just pursed my lips, but Mirae suddenly buried her nose in the back of my neck.

“Mi, Mirae, what, what are you doing?”

Sniff sniff.

Mirae, who had been taking a few deep breaths, looked at me with slightly cold eyes.

“Did we just talk about something really important?”

“Right… ?”

Important news… .

I was completely unprepared and had made no progress, but it was definitely an important conversation that would only happen once in my life.

“But… why did you come here smelling like so many other women?”

“Uh, uh… ?”

Sniff sniff.

Mirae grabbed my collar and sniffed me again, then forced the corners of her lips up.

“Just kidding. I think Mom is too nervous.”

He said that, but in reality, the future seemed much more tense.

Moreover, he even looked at me with an expression that made me wonder if it was a mistake.

It seems like you clearly have something to say… .

“The future.”

The hardships I’ve had so far are enough.

I’m sick and tired of suffering inside and then ending up with someone else.

“Mom, I wish this kind of thing would never happen again.”

I gently stroked the future’s hand that was on the table.

“Because it’s scary not knowing what the future holds.”

I was scared because I didn’t know.

I couldn’t accept it and didn’t want to hear it.

But now that I know, it’s so comfortable.

Even if you don’t find any answers, you won’t have to struggle alone anymore.

“So… you don’t have to hesitate.”

I hoped that Mirae could feel the same way as me, and for a moment, I put my hand on Mirae’s hand and shared some warmth.

“Yeah… .”

Mirae, who had been silent for a relatively long time after answering, soon looked at me with clear, individual eyes as if her thoughts had been sorted out.

“Then I’ll tell you. Honestly, I can’t say more.”

Even without saying it out loud, it was already conveyed sufficiently.

Because the fingers of the future began to become sticky and tangled between mine.

“So let’s do it.”

“What, what?”

Ah, I told you not to hesitate, but… what on earth are you doing with your hair cut like this…?

“Setting rules. I make rules that satisfy both me and my mom.”

Setting the rules… .

It was perhaps the most important thing we needed, and one that will definitely be needed in the future.