episode_0066

A late night with not a single person out and about.

Mirae, left alone in the quiet playground, sat on the swing, her shoulders slumped and she looked up at the sky.

A dry sky without a single star.

Perhaps because I was looking at that sky, strangely enough, not a single tear fell.

What on earth did you want to do?

Was driving a nail into your mother’s chest something you wanted to do so badly?

“Sigh… .”

It’s too late to regret.

He had already hurt his mother and ran away without taking responsibility.

No, do you regret it because it’s late?

I want to go back.

Why did you ruin everything?

‘Don’t call me mom.’

I didn’t want to blame it on Tachibana.

Because the person who conveyed the feelings that he had kept for a long time in the worst way was none other than himself.

More than anything, he didn’t want Tachibana to come between him and his mother.

Now… it’s all useless emotions.

If I hadn’t been jealous…

Hannah Yeon too, Tachibana too, and my aunt too.

If I had trusted my mom and just left her alone, would our relationship have continued?

“That wouldn’t be… right… .”

Knock, knock.

The future wore a faint smile that seemed ready to scatter at any moment, and kicked the dirt with its toes.

If I hadn’t loved my mother in the first place…

“Phew… .”

If you regret it to that extent, it’s all over.

It’s like denying my entire life.

“Ahaha… haha… .”

Somehow I couldn’t stop laughing.

In the end, only emptiness remains, but I keep laughing because I find it funny that I feel so empty.

‘Mom, why are you so nice to everyone?’

‘Umm… Mom, you’re not that kind. You act badly sometimes… And you often pretend not to see me… .’

‘No, Mom, you’re too kind! That’s why people keep coming at you!’

‘Stickers… I wish you’d stick around a bit… .’

‘Then the future will stick to you, so from now on, being nice is forbidden!’

I shouldn’t have been greedy.

‘Who are you, Hanna Yeon?’

‘Oh, how did you know?’

‘Because it looks fun.’

‘Oh, really? I didn’t say anything… Hehe.’

‘You’re just laughing like an idiot.’

‘What, what did you say… What are you talking about, an idiot to your mom!’

I wish I hadn’t been jealous.

‘Don’t call me mom. We’re not related by blood.’

‘You, you… how could you… to mom… .’

Because of my impatience, I ended up completely losing my mother.

“읏… .”

Mirae, who had been laughing absentmindedly, swiped her cheek with a frown.

“It hurts… .”

Compared to what he did, getting slapped was nothing.

In fact, not only did she not feel any pain, but my mother was on the weaker side even among ordinary people.

But a terrible bitterness remained for the future.

warble.

A tear-stained face.

A petite body collapsing to the floor.

Everything remained vivid and haunted the future.

“Future… .”

In the end, all that was left was resentment.

A resentment that can only be directed at oneself.

“Why… .”

I watched closer than anyone else how hard my mother worked.

Friends, free time, dreams, things that you don’t care about.

My mother devoted herself to me, giving up everything.

Knowing that fact better than anyone else.

“Why did you do that… .”

In the name of affection.

I can’t even fathom my mother’s feelings.

Just taking advantage of my position as a daughter.

What did you hope would be waiting for you at the end?

“town… .”

The moment I felt the tears running down my cheeks, I suddenly felt nauseous.

Because my stomach was empty, only the stomach acid surged up.

‘Future, I brought you some warmed up honey water… Would you like to drink it slowly? But you still need to keep replenishing your water.’

Even after doing something like that, I still think of my mother.

How selfish and pathetic.

Even though you tore your mother’s heart to pieces, you still miss her warm hands.

Parsac─

Sharp ice crystals form and disappear repeatedly at the fingertips of the future.

“Mom… .”

Since she came out in the same clothes she had at home, Mirae was wearing her mother’s cardigan.

The cardigan has now lost all its smell and warmth.

This is a cardigan that has lost its meaning.

Just like yourself.

“I miss you… .”

Mom will definitely come here.

But when we meet again, she won’t be the mother I knew before.

Also… she will no longer be her mother’s daughter.

* * *

As I was walking down a dark alley, a memory suddenly came to mind.

That day was the day Mirae had a school play at daycare. After dinner, she locked me in my room, saying she was going to practice, so I couldn’t do any housework properly for a few days.

The day of the school festival that we prepared so hard for.

I promised to go see it even if it meant leaving work early. If it had been a normal day, Mirae would have declined first, but she must have really wanted to show it to the school art show, so she repeated her promise several times.

But not everything in the world worked out the way I thought.

‘no.’

‘Teacher, please… I’m so sick… .’

‘Why are they acting like this today? Do you know how many there are now? Haruya, the teacher is sick too. Please help the teacher too!’

It was rejection, rejection after rejection.

Even though I used the magic day technique, I was annoyed because on that day, there were a lot of people who left work early due to their periods.

Moreover, the student council president came rushing into the principal’s office, so I couldn’t push any further and had to back off.

‘Um… I don’t think I can attend today. Mirae will be very disappointed… Please pay a little attention… .’

‘Okay… Okay, I understand. I’ll try to calm you down.’

‘Please… .’

And when I ran to the daycare right after school, I was told that my future was gone.

‘The future, the future!!’

A slowly sinking spider.

The aunt, Seo-hu, and the daycare teacher.

He desperately searched for the future, shifting responsibility to himself.

‘Haa… haa… future… .’

When I found the future, the surroundings had become completely dark.

‘I hate you, Mom…’

Mirae, who was crouching inside the cylindrical slide, glared at me with her reddened eyes.

Then he turned his back and started crawling upwards.

‘I’m sorry, Mirae… .’

It didn’t go up very far and kept sliding down, eventually coming back to me.

‘The future… Because Mom said she was coming… I practiced really hard… .’

The future, with no way out, curled up again and sobbed.

‘I know… I know… Mom… I’m so sorry… .’

I wanted to somehow appease Mirae, but all that came out of my mouth was an apology.

‘Mom is a liar.’

‘That’s right… Mom is a liar… . I won’t… do it again… .’

How many promises will this be? And how many more times will I break them?

It’s a bad habit to make promises without thinking. You may be doing it out of habit to get out of an awkward situation.

‘Still… I like the future, Mom.’

But the future quickly relaxed its expression, saying that even a person like me is fine.

‘Hey, future… .’

‘If you kiss me… maybe my heart will feel a little better?’

She tries hard to open her eyes, which are still filled with tears, and creates a truly difficult smile.

I was just grateful.

I was so grateful that I hugged Future and gave him the deepest kiss I’d ever given him.

‘You must come next time!’

We lay on top of each other in the slide and kissed for a long time, and Mirae smiled bashfully and hugged me tightly.

‘Okay, I promise. Definitely.’

I vowed that I would definitely keep this promise.

I’ll go no matter what happens.

No matter what the circumstances, even if I have to skip school without permission, I will think of the future as my top priority.

“Haa, haa… .”

I wonder if I kept it this time.

A quiet playground where not a single sign of life can be felt.

Squeak, squeak… .

In the descending darkness, only the screams of the old swing echoed quietly.

“The future… .”

A child sitting alone on a swing and sobbing.

The girl, who still looked much smaller than me to me, got up from the swing and started walking in the opposite direction as soon as our eyes met.

You must have felt anxious and lonely.

As much as I am. No, more than me.

“What are you going to do if you avoid it? You’re never going to see your mom’s face again?”

Did that sound a little provocative?

I had a few worries about that, but it seems like this was about right.

He still had his back turned to me, but he didn’t move anyway.

I walked up to Mirae, who had stopped standing tall, and reached over her shoulder.

“Your face is cold.”

It was the cheek I had poked with my finger.

I don’t know if it was because it was cold or because of me, but seeing her cheeks redden noticeably made me feel sad.

“Isn’t it cold?”

miss you.

At the same time, I was scared to check the expression on the future face.

On the one hand, I felt fortunate to be standing behind the future, and I quietly steeled myself.

“… … .”

My heart is still pounding.

As expected, the heart isn’t something you can catch just because you want to.

Because it has no substance. Because it is something I cannot confirm on my own.

But if you look to the future.

When facing the future.

I felt like I knew the answer.

“Can I hug you, Mom?”

He moved the hand that had been on his cheek to his waist.

And as I hesitated, unable to easily close the distance, Mirae, who had not moved at all, slowly turned around.

Closed eyes.

The eyelids that had been tightly shut as if they didn’t want to see anything slowly rose as Mirai nodded.

“… Yeah.”

Purple eyes that shine softly like the night sky.

It was not much different from the eyes I had encountered on the cylindrical slide when I was young.

Actually, I don’t know what other people think. The future is no longer the child it was back then.

But for me, as someone who has lived as a future mother.

I couldn’t see the future differently right now.

“Warm… .”

“That’s right… .”

We have so much time piled up.

The times when it’s not Iharu and Mirae, but mother and daughter.

Of course, that may just be my own thought… .

Behind the smile of acceptance that seemed to embrace the future, there was a bittersweet taste.