episode_0065

Carlyle Schultz is an orphan.

It’s just a fact, I’ve never complained about it until now.

I knew from a young age that complaining wouldn’t change anything.

But still, there’s no way to deal with the loneliness that comes sometimes.

This happened when I was in daycare. My seat was by the window.

Every evening after dinner, Carlyle looked out the window at the world outside.

Bright night view, people with happy expressions.

From pictures of a loving family to pictures of sweet lovers.

‘Me too… someday… ‘

As he gazed at the scenery, Carlyle sometimes imagined his future.

So, a future where there is someone by your side.

I’m talking about a happy picture that can only be imagined.

Perhaps from then on, Carlyle had a goal.

‘Let’s get married quickly.’

Let’s meet someone we love and start a family. Because that’s something we’ve never had since we were born.

We rely on each other when times are tough, and in return, we become each other’s support.

I’ve always wanted someone who would be on my side no matter what, and I’ve always wanted to meet someone like that.

So he was also tolerant of the opposite sex. He dated all the women who approached him without hesitation.

But honestly.

I have never been sincere to myself.

‘But if you keep dating…’

I’ll find it someday.

Looking back now, it was a somewhat complacent thought. Perhaps it was wrong.

He likes Bianca Shamal, and for the first time in his life, he likes someone and Carlyle has a change of heart.

Now I know how frivolous my previous actions were and how disrespectful I had been to others.

If you didn’t really like it, you shouldn’t have done it.

Carlyle realized this fact too late.

[Just look at it once.]

That’s probably why.

So, I couldn’t be cold to Emily either. I couldn’t be cold to a girl who was my childhood friend and obviously liked me.

I couldn’t just take it easy like before.

The feeling of love. Now that I know how precious and heavy it is.

Carlyle Schultz has changed.

However, that does not mean that the actions that were done before will disappear.

“Carlyle, you… ”

“What the hell happened?”

Super shallow human relationships. Even the people I went to school with and became friends with doubt me like this.

Of course, Carlyle had no expectations in the first place.

“That’s a rumor.”

Even just saying those words makes me feel uneasy.

So, why? Why do you feel uncomfortable?

It’s just a rumor anyway. Carlyle himself was always concerned about that kind of thing.

But what’s the point of trying to persuade him? Carlyle thought.

“There is no specific source.”

So when I spoke calmly, my friends just nodded with awkward expressions.

“That, that’s right… ”

“There were no witnesses in the first place.”

Carlyle was telling the truth. There is no evidence for the rumors that are currently circulating.

It can’t be helped, because it’s just a rumor. A groundless rumor that someone just spread maliciously.

There can’t be any witnesses.

It’s a rumor that will soon die down.

Sugunsugun-

But even after that, Carlyle felt the change in gaze as he walked down the hallway without thinking.

Was this your perception?

A self-deprecating laugh comes out.

I think so, but it’s nothing new.

Perhaps it’s just natural karma.

There is no room for blame for one’s past actions coming back to haunt him like this.

As Carlyle turned the corner of the hallway, thinking like that.

“You look great.”

Come face to face with someone.

A purple-haired school girl named Lindsay Nao.

One of the three great flowers of Antiope Academy. She is popular enough to be grouped together like that, and is a female student who briefly dated him in the past.

And we broke up on bad terms.

[Tell me honestly. Have you ever been excited by me?]

[…what a piece of trash.]

Even if he got slapped, there’s no way the other person would feel good about him.

So Carlyle answered calmly, as if nothing had happened.

“It’s just a rumor that will die down anyway. There’s no evidence.”

“I know, me too.”

But the other person is smiling.

“So it’s a bit disappointing… but is she really like that? Is she Bianca or something?”

“… Why is Bianca here?”

Carlyle’s expression cooled, but his opponent laughed instead.

“You really don’t know, so you ask? That’s ridiculous, Carlyle. Look at your record. Anyway, that kid would have gotten tired of it soon and abandoned it.”

I know it’s no use saying no. I don’t want to persuade you.

Carlyle tried to pass by, which probably only provoked his opponent further.

“Ah, maybe… you’ve come to realize what a piece of trash you are? You’ve been on bad terms lately.”

Carlyle’s steps stopped as he heard the voice again.

“You seem like an innocent child, do you like playing with it?”

“Think as you wish.”

Leaving behind just one word of reply, Carlyle moved again.

Since I broke up on bad terms with the person who said those words anyway, I don’t feel the need to respond to the nonsense he keeps spouting.

But at the same time, Carlyle now realizes, why did he feel uneasy if it was just a rumor?

It was because of Bianca Shamal.

Because I felt like my shortcomings were being exposed by someone I truly liked.

Even if the rumor is false, Carlyle’s own record is now in jeopardy because of this rumor. Suddenly, a thought crosses Carlyle’s mind.

‘Yeah, maybe…’

If Bianca has recently started to suddenly distance herself from him because of the rumors, then it’s because of him.

It just spread today, but what if we had known in advance?

If that’s the case, then recent actions become understandable.

Bianca Shamal is a transfer student. What if you didn’t know much about it before and now you know it?

So what if Carlyle was disappointed after finding out about all of his past womanizing?

Well then, definitely. This is so bad.

For a moment, Carlyle’s gaze wavers. He stops.

-Do you think you’ve come to know what a piece of trash you are?

The words my opponent said earlier, which were not wrong if you look at it that way, won’t leave my mind. After all, if you look at the record, it’s true.

Carlyle clenched his fists as he walked, but his mood did not improve at all.

***

I feel like a lot of things happened at school today.

And indeed it did.

“Haa-”

Vita sighed deeply.

I went to the dean and told him.

That I can go back again.

So, back to the main point –

-I don’t think I’ll be able to come to school for a day or two next week. So, is it possible to be absent without notice?

My parents are busy these days and can’t come here, but they told me to come to my parents’ house because it’s important. Fortunately, the dean didn’t seem too suspicious when I added that explanation.

But maybe they believed me because my behavior up until then was close to being a model student.

Instead, he said he would talk to his father. Even Vita could accept that level of condition.

-Thank you, Dean…!

My conscience was a little pricked though.

Actually, Vita is thinking of going to her parents’ house after she turns into a man over the weekend.

‘I have to explain the situation to my parents too…’

I’m tired, honestly.

I want to stay at my parents’ house for a while, see my family, and rest.

Let’s start over again.

Because I want to make that determination and regain stability.

And, again.

Vita left a letter for Emily Swann.

[Hello, Emily.]

A rather long letter that begins with that one word.

Emily has been apologizing to herself all this time.

Even through text messages, and even inside the academy, he would sometimes come to the front of the class, which made Vita feel uncomfortable.

It’s not something that can be treated lukewarmly forever. That was Vita’s nature.

As the weekend passed, I felt a little more at ease.

‘… Now let’s give Emily a definite answer.’

Let’s slowly wrap things up. I’ve finally gained some leeway to make that decision.

So, while Vita was walking back from the teachers’ office to the classroom, there was no one in the hallway.

I put a letter in Emily’s locker.

I hesitated for a moment, but I stopped for a moment because I felt uneasy for no reason.

I finally managed to put it in.

And Vita ran away from there right away.

‘Okay, with this…’

This is it for now.

That’s right, this is it.

This is really true. Vita thought so even though her heart felt like it was being stabbed with needles.

And, after school.

Vita, who returned to her room, feels uneasy.

I heard a rumor in the afternoon and noticed a strange atmosphere.

Now I know that the person behind the rumor is none other than Carlyle Schultz.

Of course, Vita didn’t believe the rumor at all.

‘That Carlyle guy…?’

Carlyle Schultz said that?

Getting the other woman pregnant and even encouraging her to have an abortion?

“ha-”

It’s ridiculous, and I feel so wronged that I’m even angry. It’s a malicious rumor.

After washing my face, I drank some cold water.

‘That’s nonsense.’

Because I was convinced that it would never happen. It was only after I drank some cold water that my mind calmed down.

“… Carlyle Schultz would never do that.”

He’s secretly very considerate and delicate.

Because he’s strangely honest.

Vita was certain that the rumor was absolutely false.

***

Because he is your rival.

I think I know a little bit about Carlyle Schultz’s humanity.

So, what can I say, Vita feels disappointed.

I just feel upset for some reason.

‘That guy, as expected…’

Aren’t you worried? Aren’t you feeling distressed?

Because I’m a little worried.

Of course, the Carlyle I know is not easily shaken by anything, but he is a very easygoing guy. But still, since rumors are rumors, I still get nervous.

“ha-”

So Vita sighs.

It’s a shame, because I can’t be of any help in this situation.

Even today at school, all I did was just sit still.

[Hey, did you hear that…?]

[Rumors about Carlyle?]

To be honest, I was annoyed. My anger was boiling over little by little, so I bit my lips and tried to endure it.

Don’t talk nonsense, don’t you know anything about Carlyle? That’s what I wanted to say.

‘… without knowing anything.’

It honestly annoyed me that most students spoke so carelessly.

My head feels hot and my heart is pounding.

Even in the midst of all this, the reason Vita kept enduring it was because she had to distance herself from Carlyle. She had to cut him off.

It was just for that reason.

A situation where it is impossible to defend Carlyle.

‘The Carlyle guy is always…’

Even though you were always there for me and gave me strength when I was having a hard time.

Because he can’t do anything in this situation.

This reality is frustrating. A corner of my heart breaks.

“Sorry, I… ”

I’m sorry I couldn’t be of help to you.

Biting her lips slightly.

At least he believes that the rumor is not true. He is in a situation where he cannot say anything even if he wants to.

I feel bad for that Carlyle guy. I’m worried, after all.

I want to be your support and believe in you.

But Vita hates herself for not being able to even convey this sincerity.

“Ah… ”

therefore.

A pain as if my heart was being stabbed with a needle came over me and I grimaced.

It hurts, in my heart. There’s no reason for it to be like this.

Now, when I think about going back to being on good terms with Carlyle, not even talking to each other like strangers, it makes my heart ache.

But the real Vita.

When I briefly met Carlyle’s eyes in class earlier, I tried to hide my true feelings by keeping my expression cold.

‘Probably. Definitely…’

Carlyle might have been hurt by his reaction. I suppose he could have been. He might have seemed like some other kid who was talking too much.

Vita, that’s for nothing, my heart hurts a little.

But, yeah.

“… This is just right.”

That’s right, this is it.

Vita stood in front of the mirror, trying hard to suggest that.

Long, red-blond hair, a sharp and fresh look.

Dense facial features.

For some reason, her cheeks have recently become slightly thinner and her face has a feminine curve.

It won’t be long before we see this familiar sight again.

In the meantime, Vita took another red pill, so now there are six left.

But more than that, right now I’m only thinking about Carlyle.

‘I hope it gets resolved well…’

And will you come to my house today too?

Vita wonders if Carlyle will come or not.

I kept waiting by the window, but nothing happened.

It’s something that’s never happened since the math trip. But if you think about it, it was something I brought upon myself.

Vita couldn’t move from the window for a long time.

***

Emily’s house that night.

“You should go to sleep, miss.”

“… Yeah, right.”

Emily couldn’t take her eyes off the crumpled letter she was holding as she answered.

“Hoo-”

Earlier, after finishing my after school class,

How nervous I was when I found this letter.

Honestly, Emily was really nervous because she could immediately guess who sent it.

Meanwhile, there was a bit of a commotion at school today, and my childhood friend Carlyle was in quite a bit of trouble.

Of course, Emily.

I don’t think so.

‘Surely not, Carlyle…?’

He shook his head forcefully.

I don’t think that’s possible. I don’t think so.

Because I thought that the Carlyle I knew wasn’t that kind of person.

But just a little bit. I feel uneasy because I’ve heard so much talk about it around me today. So I’m wondering-

‘Anyway, it is clear that Carlyle’s womanizing is quite spectacular…’

It’s true, you know. Emily tried to push the thought out of her head, even though she couldn’t believe it.

I don’t think so, and that’s not the important issue right now. So Emily carefully checks the contents of the letter.

[Hello, Emily…?]

The letter that started like that was quite long.

[I still remember that lunch that day, the day I confessed to you.]

How did Vita Shamal come to like a girl named Emily Swan?

[Do you remember what you said back then? You told me that today would be better than yesterday, and tomorrow would be better than today.]

A heart that started from the nonsense and meaningless words that I used.

Emily now knows how shallow her feelings were, how long the other person had been watching her, and what kind of heart had she had to muster up the courage to confess at that time.

But the contents of the letter did not end there.

[I know Emily, you like that guy Carlyle Schultz. And, yes, I know what you told me on the school trip wasn’t wrong. Still, isn’t it strange…?]

He thinks so too. It says underneath that he doesn’t know how he came to like Carlyle.

Even what I like about Carlyle.

[He may seem like a jerk, but he’s actually a very honest guy… Emily, you know that too. Carlyle Schultz is surprisingly honest. Oh, and. He’s also incredibly considerate, despite his appearance. He’s also very prepared for the future, and has his own convictions… And, also…]

It never ends. It’s as if he’s witnessed and recorded all of Carlyle Schultz’s strengths from the side, and his sincerity is palpable. For a moment, Emily feels dizzy.

‘Why, you…’

Even the letter has smudge marks here and there. I think I know exactly what those marks are. It’s suffocating.

I realized once again that I had made a huge mistake.

I made a terrible mistake, Emily realizes.

Of course, I still find it strange that Vita, who was originally a man, likes Carlyle.

But really?

Can you downgrade it?

Can you take lightly the feelings written here now?

As it appears to the eye, Emily judges it as it is.

I ended up thinking that maybe that wasn’t the way to go.

[So, I… yeah, I. To sum up the conclusion now. In the end, I don’t think it’s strange that Nana and Emily fell for him. He’s a really cool guy.]

What is actually written after that is something unexpected –

Emily, I hope things work out for you and Carlisle.

I think you, a real girl and not a fake like me, are more suitable.

[…Emily, you’re kind and a good girl. I’m sure Carlyle will appreciate that.]

That’s what I think. Since they’re both good people, I’ll support them.

A question comes to Emily’s mind without her knowing it.

‘Then, you…?’

Bianca, what about you?

So, as ‘Bianca Shamal’, what’s on your mind?

In fact, even this thought may be somewhat selfish.

Now that the other person has given up on his feelings, he is acting as if he is doing them a favor. He has some leeway.

That is, this is obviously a good thing for Emily herself.

But if the other person is this sincere.

Emily can’t even imagine what it must feel like to betray her own heart and cheer for someone else.

That’s why I understand Bianca and Vita’s true feelings even more.

‘… I really like it.’

Cover your mouth with your hand.

So, really. Seriously, ridiculously.

I really like you.

So is this right? Is this really right?

Is the content of this letter, in which the other person leaves everything as ‘Bianca Shamal’, because of his own slip of the tongue?

Emily realized anew that she had hurt the other person greatly.

So, keep going.

My mind is complicated for no reason.

For a long time, almost in a state of stupor, Emily just stared at the letter.