episode_0064

Milia’s words that she will help.

At first, my heart was pounding with excitement at the thought that I might finally have a proper means of revenge on Alice.

When I thought about it calmly, I realized that it didn’t mean much.

Because when Alice told me everything, it meant she didn’t care about her parents’ gaze anymore.

if.

If Alice’s ability was really close to that of an ordinary person, she wouldn’t have told everything so easily, even if she had psychopathic tendencies.

Because in society, there is no good in cutting ties with parents.

Yeah, if it were ordinary.

I really don’t like it though.

The problem was that, objectively speaking, Alice was a very good person.

Especially in terms of brute force, I think he has already surpassed the realm of genius.

He seemed to be at a level where he could even defeat the knights of the capital, so it was obvious that an eventful life awaited him after graduating from the academy.

Because reality is so terribly meritocratic.

Perhaps Aristotle realized it too and revealed everything to me.

When I lived in a small town, I would have been content to pretend to love myself and fill my self-esteem.

Now that his exact position in the Academy has been determined, it would not be enough to satisfy his dirty desires by using me like before.

In Aris’s mind, I was just a disabled person without parents, so it was obvious that Aris, who could date even the spirits of famous families, would feel that spending time with me was a waste.

That is, Alice felt that abandoning me was not risky.

That was frustrating.

Because in reality I couldn’t do anything.

Nothing was ahead of Alice.

Because I am a human being at the bottom of the food chain, with no one better than me from start to finish.

Let’s give up.

Revenge for someone like me?

If you provoke Alice’s temper for no reason, she may end up having a more painful time than death, as she knows me well.

“Thank you for offering to help, but I’ll have to decline. I’m sorry to say this, but I don’t think it will help you at all.”

“What are you talking about? But I’m Alice’s mother, so if I say it myself…”

Perhaps because my words were too sudden, Milia was under a huge misunderstanding.

The illusion that he could control Alice.

“Haa.. I’ll tell you why it’s useless.”

Fortunately, my words quickly dispelled Millia’s misconception.

If Alice had even the slightest intention of caring about her parents’ feelings, she would have heard that she couldn’t explain her actions to me.

Even Milia seemed to understand what kind of mindset Alice was in right now.

“Or… how about using force as a motherly duty?”

Was communication really that poor?

Now it was to the point where I could just laugh out loud.

Judging from the fact that she was talking about defeating Alice by force, it was clear that Millia knew Alice as a silver-clad adventurer.

Actually, before leaving the village, the silver plate was right.

Right now, Millia is in a position where she can’t even look up.

“Right now, I think Aris is ‘knight’ level. It’s probably impossible for Milia to win.”

“That, is that so..?”

“Yes. So please don’t do anything. I ran away because Iris said she was using me as a sex toy and a punching bag, and I don’t even want to imagine what would happen if she found out I was here.”

“Arthur..”

Milia realized that she couldn’t be of any help and gave me an apologetic look.

I didn’t really have high expectations for Milia.

He left for his original home, leaving a message telling her not to come visit him as he wanted to be alone for a while.

… … …

When I was very young, I lived in Millia’s house, so I often went to Hilia secretly to get bread from her.

I didn’t know it at the time, but I think I liked being with Hilia, who gave me great affection, more than bread.

Because it felt like I had a mom.

But while I was being held captive by the Inquisitors in the city, Hilia died.

Later, I heard that Hilia had a chronic illness and that she hid it from me because she didn’t want to worry me.

Even now, when I think about it, I still don’t understand.

I know it in my head, but…

Something that my heart cannot understand at all.

That’s what it felt like to me back then.

That was also the reason why I ended up living like Pain for a while.

So now, if you ask me why I’m telling this story,

Because as soon as I entered the house, I saw Hilia disappear like dust.

That’s why I held my chest and shed tears.

Because the price for escaping reality came in the form of the pain of loss, tearing my heart apart again.

Actually, you already knew everything.

That everyone is welcome.

I just pretended not to know and buried it.

Since I had no one to lean on, all that was left was the Hilia in my memories.

For me, right after being betrayed, believing in that illusion was the best I could do at the time.

Because I had an extreme thought that if I followed the Hilia I created and it turned out wrong, I would just die.

It was a mistake.

There is no paradise where you run away.

The reality that felt even worse due to the side effects began to creep up on me, and I felt my mind slowly crumbling.

I sat down on the floor and stared into space, thinking.

There’s nothing left in the house now.

My beloved Hilia too.

The warmth of the bakery.

Memories we shared together.

All that’s left are cold wooden floors, cobwebs, and me, a miserable person.

There was no one left who loved me any more.

I was lying on my bed, covered in dust because I had been away from home for a long time, staring at the ceiling and thinking.

-Hilia would also hope that you don’t die.

I know. I know.

I came here to commit suicide, but when I actually got here, I was afraid.

I’m afraid that Hilia, who I met after death, will be sad to see me.

It was so fucking scary.

I want to be with you even after death.

There’s no one who wants me to live anymore.

There really is no reason to live anymore.

-I’ll be your reason. I’ll live the rest of my life for you, Arthur.

sick.

It hurt so much that a stifled moan escaped my lips.

The fact that even my most precious memories were lies was painful, like a knife flying and stabbing my heart every moment.

Today is the day I want to die.

Still, I guess I’ll have to endure it.

If I die like this, Hilia might hate me.

When I eat a lot of delicious food and do things I want with the money I have left at home, things get really good.

Let’s die then.

It won’t take long.

Because there’s not much I want to do.

At most, it will be over in about 3 days.

So how shall we spend tonight?

When I remembered what I wanted to do, I headed to the kitchen and took out a cleanly stored knife.

I sat down on the chair and moved my hands, recalling past experiences.

square.

I want to die.

square.

I don’t want to die.

square.

I am alive.

Hot blood flows and soaks the body and the floor.

“Haaah…sigh…”

The redder the floor becomes.

The more rose-like patterns I have on my clothes.

I felt like I was dying, and I felt happy.

I’m so happy that I can just self-harm.

How happy would I be if I died?

I was so tempted to just die right now, but I knew I had to hold back.

I decided to settle for more scars on my left arm instead.

square.

… … …

It was only after the morning sun rose that I realized I had been self-harming all night.

I don’t know if it was because I didn’t get any sleep, or because I lost so much blood.

I pulled myself together from the dizziness I felt, wrapped the wound with a piece of cloth I had left at home, and went out of the house.

The destination is Hilia’s tomb.

When I actually arrived, I felt happy but also awkward.

Compared to before coming to the academy, I used to stop by whenever I was bored.

This time, it’s been half a year since I came.

“It’s been a while..”

I continued to mutter to myself as I cut the grass that had grown luxuriantly on the grave with the equipment I had prepared.

“What should I do?”

Of course, Hilia had no answer, but I didn’t stop talking.

“I thought about it a lot this time, and I think it would be better to just sell bread in the village if I were to live. Well, bread made with one hand is unlikely to taste good, so business wouldn’t be good.”

The grass has been neatly organized in no time.

I packed up my gear and grabbed a shovel.

Phew-

I carefully dug up the ground next to the grave with a shovel.

“Come to think of it, I can’t do business. Even if I could, I wouldn’t be able to do it properly because of Alice.”

I was able to retrieve a small wooden box from a hole I had not dug very far.

“Why? Because I did something wrong to Alice. I heard it was a mistake to be born, but I think she probably didn’t like coming to her house the most.”

Suddenly.

When the black wooden box was opened, inside were several gold coins and a black key.

“Well, it doesn’t matter now. I don’t plan on living long.”

Arthur put the items he took out of the chest into his pockets and stood up.

“I’ll be right back. Hilia.”

After returning home, I put all the things I brought on the desk and checked their condition.

“By the way. What is this black key?”

It was an object whose identity was completely unknown.

I had never seen Hilia use it before she was alive.

Because I’ve never heard any story about keys.

However, since it was something that Hilia left behind, I kept it in case it could be used for something important.

“It doesn’t seem to be a key used at home..”

Its use was too unclear.

As I was staring at the key for a while, I was able to find something peculiar about it.

“What does this mean?”

That’s exactly the sound.

Even when I held the key in the past, it was a sound I had never heard before.

I don’t know why, but I could hear it clearly now.

It’s small, but it makes some regular sounds.

The meaning of the sound was unknown.

Not only is it not a language I learned, but it is also something that stimulates my senses.

Because it was that kind of sound.

“Direction..?”

And it didn’t take long for me to notice that the keys were sending me signals, with sounds and impulses, to point in a certain direction.

It’s hard to explain, but it’s like an instinct.

Because I was able to understand it in a way that I felt I had come to realize naturally.

“This is… Hillia’s room?”

As I continued to follow the direction the key was pointing, I arrived in front of Hilia’s room.

I went in without hesitation, picked up the key and started moving, trying to find the exact location it was pointing to.

I finally realized that the key was facing the back of the dresser next to the bed.

“Ugh..!”

Maybe it was because I hadn’t moved in a long time, but it wasn’t easy to move sideways.

After pushing everything away, I looked at the wall where the closet had been.

I read the signal from the vibrating key in my hand and plugged it into the wall.

Crunch.

It was amazing how the key went through the wall, and it made a sound like a locked door was opening.

“!”

I saw a door appear in a wall where there was nothing.

Coming here, even I couldn’t help but be interested, and the moment I opened the door with trembling hands.

“This, this is..?”

I could see the interior, which seemed to be a mixture of a laboratory and a study.

The room was spotlessly clean, almost as if someone had been there just a moment ago.

The first thing that caught my eye was the paper on the desk, which I picked up and slowly read through.

I didn’t know,

I was able to find out the whole truth about myself.