episode_0063

When I opened my eyes in a half-asleep state, the future was before me.

I was dragged out to the front door and pushed against the wall without even coming to my senses, and it didn’t take long for me to realize that I was awake.

I wish it was just a dream… .

Unfortunately, the sensation felt on the lips was the sensation of meat squeezing in between slightly parted lips.

It was too vivid to be dismissed as a dream.

“Um… Ugh… .”

I felt no strength in my body.

All that could be heard was the slimy sound of saliva-covered tongues tangled in the mouth.

My mind became disoriented and out of touch with reality.

It’s hot.

The tip of the tongue of the future that poked every corner of my mouth violently, the breath that escaped without any consideration.

It was so hot I couldn’t stand it.

“Ugh… Ugh… .”

I shivered at the chilling sensation rising up near my lower abdomen.

We must prevent the future from going astray any further… .

Funny enough, I couldn’t keep my mouth shut because I was worried about the tongue of the future.

“Ugh… Ugh… !!”

I pushed away, tapping Future’s shoulder with my palm.

But their lips, which were stuck together without a single gap, showed no sign of leaving, and the kiss continued for a long time, making it hard to imagine that it was a kiss between mother and daughter.

Since when?

Where did it go wrong?

If there was a blemish on the future and the time we have built up, at what point would that be?

I don’t know. Even if I knew, it would still be the case that there was no way.

These are precious times that cannot be thrown away.

But in one word from the future, an action suddenly follows.

It seemed like all those times were scattered.

“Ugh… Ugh… .”

I felt warm moisture in the corner of my eyes.

At the same time, the meat that had been stirring in my mouth escaped, and I took advantage of the gap to push Mirae away with all my might.

“Ugh… ! Eugh… !”

The future, which had not moved an inch with my strength, reluctantly retreated after struggling several times.

“Choosh… Phha… Haa… .”

The thread with a soft glow was clearly revealed between the lips that were slowly moving away.

The saliva that had been hanging down like a spider web soon broke off and fell limply under the lips.

Crack─!

A sharp sound rang out, surprising even me.

“You, you… How could you… Mom… .”

I looked into the future, holding my trembling right hand with my left.

I have lived as a mother for 17 years.

She gave up her identity as a man, and even gave up her second chance at school, in order to simply become a mother to one child.

Of course, I didn’t do it with the expectation of receiving a reward.

The future may not have been what you wanted.

But even so, I did my best to make the future depend on me.

Not in this form, but as mother and daughter.

I just wanted to be a refuge for the child left alone.

‘Don’t call me mom. We’re not even related by blood.’

What on earth am I, if not a future mother?

Are you saying that all the time I’ve spent up until now was a lie?

Suddenly my legs gave out and I fell to the floor in the hallway.

Knock, knock.

Tiny drops of water fall between my knees and shatter as they hit the marble floor.

The remaining heat on my lips and in my mouth continued to make my head feel dizzy.

I couldn’t look up to the future and just stared at the floor.

“I’ll go cool my head and come back.”

The sound of quiet footsteps spread, and soon a cold wind began to blow in.

“Mi, the future!”

I came to my senses belatedly and raised my head, but all I could see was the tightly shut front door.

“I have to chase after… .”

I tried to force myself to get up, but it didn’t work and I just kept staggering.

And then, thud.

Once I fell back to the floor, I couldn’t get up anymore.

No, I didn’t want to get up.

Because in my current state, I didn’t have the confidence to see the future.

I’m sure I’ll end up avoiding the future without even knowing it. The future will be hurt by my actions.

In the end, we will just drift apart, carrying only pain with us.

But if things continue like this… I have no choice but to drift away.

“What should I do… .”

I am.

The future.

What did you hope for that you have been together until now?

* * *

When I came to my senses, I was walking down a street at night.

All the tears I had held back had already poured out, and the cold wind blew across my dry eyes, making them sting a little.

Neon signs brightly decorate the streets even though it is past 11 o’clock.

People gathered in groups of three or five and chatting noisily.

A commotion coming from inside the store.

All the elements of the street came together to completely isolate me.

Since accepting life as Iharu, have you ever felt this lonely?

This will probably be the first time.

Even when the chairman took the future away, I still thought I was connected to the future in my heart.

But now it’s different.

‘Don’t call me mom.’

My future self rejected me.

It wasn’t an atmosphere conducive to joking, and there was no pressure from others.

By your own choice, with your own words.

Then why did you kiss?

I couldn’t understand what the future was thinking or why it said such things.

‘Mom, I will spend my whole life with you in the future!’

‘You want to live with your mom for the rest of your life? Even after you get married?’

When Mirae was young, it was something she would always say.

It’s a conversation we have at least twice a week, before going to bed.

‘The future is going to marry Mom?’

‘If you marry Mom, your future will be really hard, right? Hmm… Because once you get married, you’ll just be lazy and whiny.’

A story that was treated as a joke and responded with laughter.

‘That doesn’t matter! No, Mom will just let her stay home! Mirae will earn the money and do the housework… Mom just has to give Mirae lots of kisses to cheer her up!’

‘You’re trying to make Mom a glutton… .’

It’s a story that every child would have told at least once.

‘It doesn’t matter if you eat gluten.’

‘No… A mother with a daughter who is already in middle school shouldn’t eat glutinous rice… .’

Are you saying that all of your feelings that didn’t change even as you grew older were sincere?

If that’s really the case, what kind of face should I have as I look into the future?

I don’t know. There was no way I could know.

What kind of expression should I make when I’m not a mom?

What voice should I use and what should I say?

Because I’ve never thought about it even once until now.

Toouk─

After walking for a few minutes, lost in thought and looking at the ground, I suddenly felt a strong shock on my shoulder.

“Oh my… .”

The person who bumped into my shoulder was a middle-aged man who had been drinking until his face turned bright red.

“Aren’t you going to apologize? This is going to kill me!”

The man, who had been staggering backwards while holding onto her shoulder, raised his fist as if he was going to strike at any moment.

“Manager, you’re very drunk. A taxi is here, so please hurry and go in.”

“Ah, let go… This bitch bumped into me and didn’t even apologize… .”

This is something that can be resolved with just an apology.

But what about the future? I wish we could just get over it with an apology.

If I apologize for being the first to do something, Mirae will also apologize for surprising her.

And then we go back to our daily lives as if nothing happened… .

“Haha… .”

It was such an absurd fantasy that I couldn’t help but laugh out loud.

“Oh, right. When I say let’s see, you hit someone and laugh?”

“Boss! You’re drunk! If there’s a problem here, I can’t cover it up either?”

“You don’t need a cover, just let it go… !”

My life’s goals, my dreams, all turned into bubbles in an instant.

Should I just disappear like this?

If I disappear from the future, will the changes I have experienced gradually return to their original places and will the future be able to move forward on the path that is happiest for me?

“Are you really going to kill me?”

I stared blankly at the drunk man, the corners of my lips curling up.

It doesn’t mean I really want to die.

However, it was true that I did not want to continue living with this kind of mindset.

What did I lack as a mother? What was the problem that made my daughter say those words?

Either way, the cause must be mine.

The fact that the future no longer thought of me as a mother, and that it made me run away with a regretful expression as if I had made a mistake.

“What are you saying now… .”

“Manager, let’s go. I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

“Isn’t that a total crazy bitch!”

“Oh my! I think the manager is even crazier! Listen to me!”

I’m alone again.

Even if I ran into someone for a moment, my mood became even more miserable.

“Hoo… .”

He wanders the streets aimlessly with his shoulders hunched.

Thinking about what kind of feelings Mirae has had while living with me up until now.

Thinking back on the life I have had with my daughter, whom I have long dreamed of.

After walking a little further, I saw a closed store in front of me.

A dark alley without any flashy neon signs.

The store, which had been silently guarding its place alone, had its eyes closed as if it didn’t expect anything from me.

A store that doesn’t expect any customers, money, or warmth, and even the signboard has fallen off.

I squatted down in front of the store as if in a trance, burying my face between my knees.

Maybe I’ve been hoping for too much so far.

Maybe I just couldn’t throw anything away.

Instead, I may have been content with just leaving all those roles to the future.

I could endure school life without a single friend.

It was okay not to have parents to support me.

Because whenever I returned home, the future always welcomed me.

‘Mom, did you have a hard time today?’

‘I got scolded by the teacher a little bit… .’

‘Mom’s going to scold me…? The teacher is a bad person! Mirae should go scold him!’

Whenever I had worries, I would confide in Mirae, and we would always share each other’s warmth and be healed.

‘What do you want to do this weekend, Mirae?’

‘Rolling around in bed with mom!’

‘You do that all the time… .’

‘Hmm… Then let’s go to the mart together!’

‘Is that okay?’

‘Yeah, I like it because it feels like I’m dating my mom… hehe.’

Before the weekend came, I made plans to play with Mirae, and when I had a day off during the week, I just waited for Mirae to come home from daycare.

All of those things came as a burden to the future, and the burdens piled up and piled up, and eventually took this form… .

“Ugh… .”

I thought I had poured it all out, but my throat started to burn and I started to cry.

I don’t want to end it like this, but I can’t think of a way to approach the future…

I keep thinking that it would be better for the future if I fall… .

Sarak─

That was when.

My back, which had been curled up, was wrapped in something warm and cozy, and a somehow familiar scent permeated the tip of my nose.

A reassuring smell.

Although I have only smelled it directly a few times, the smell is still vividly engraved in my memory.

“… … .”

As I raised my head, the jumper covering my back slightly fell down.

I held onto my white jumper with both hands, worried that it might fall to the floor, and looked up at the person in front of me with eyes filled with tears.

A woman who maintains a perfectly blank expression as if she were wearing a mask.

My friend, with her dark blonde hair tied up in a ponytail, looked at me with a slight agitation in her brown eyes.

“Why are you doing that.”

I could tell because I’ve known Hanna Yeon for a long time.

How much meaning did that tiny, unnoticeable nursery rhyme have for Hanna Yeon?

“Hanna Yeon… .”

I thought I couldn’t rely on anyone.

I thought I was truly alone now that I had lost my future.

But as soon as I saw Hanna Yeon’s face, all those negative thoughts flew away.

With Hanna Yeon coming to my side, I am no longer alone.

“Hanna Yeon… Naa… Huaaaang… !!”

After struggling to hold back his tears while sobbing, he ended up hugging Hanna Yeon and bursting into tears like a baby.

That’s literally sob, sob.

Until Hanna Yeon’s man-to-man is soaked with tears.