episode_0062
by adminIt was night. Deep night.
A day has passed since I left with the child.
Leaving here with the child was not something I wanted to do.
… I didn’t believe what he said, but if he asked me if there was any place as safe as my family, I had no choice but to say, “Nope,” #◦
For me, the town I lived in wasn’t a very good place either.
Why would he become a soldier in the first place? Most of the time, it was because he was a woman who helped with the farm work or cooked for others.
That was because the area he lived in was difficult to live in.
‘I wonder what I’ll hear and how I’ll hear it when I go back this time.’
But since it was the farthest place from here and the only place I knew best, I had no choice.
“Okay, let’s sleep here today.”
“Yes.”
Since we were on foot, we were still inside the forest.
Even if I had the eyes of a god, it would be impossible to know exactly where the inside of this forest was.
‘The law is still working well…’
At this rate, it would easily last a month.
The child began to unpack and prepare to make a bed. The crackling sound of a fire was heard, indicating that a fire had already been lit. But.
-Flutter.
“…? Wait, where did you get the tent?”
The fluttering sound that came from nowhere was extremely disconcerting.
“… I unpacked my sleeping bag. I’ll light a fire outside, so don’t worry. ”
I never thought that one of the sleeping bags I brought along would be used like that. I was just thinking about lighting a fire and sleeping soundly.
“Then you?”
“Yes? I… don’t have to stand guard.”
The child’s seemingly obvious words made me feel a little dizzy. Why did something so obvious to this child make my heart ache so much?
I sighed and replied that I didn’t have to do that, and started taking groceries out of my backpack.
Well, wasn’t there a report from Je-seon that the child, if not the one who woke up early when he was at home, was in charge of all the work at the parade ground?
‘Since she’s been working so hard, didn’t you lie and say that running away was an order and bring her here?’
It was certainly possible to explain why a child only thinks about work, but it was clearly not a good thing. A child only thinks about work.
He’s not the head of a family who grew up as an orphan, so what kind of nonsense is that?
‘It might have been possible before the country of Joseon was founded… .
Since the founding of the state of Zhao, all such children were abandoned children. And, even for such abandoned children, it was a thing of the past when the Blue Dragon family took responsibility for them and raised them.
He probably didn’t know how much the sight of growing up like those children was eating away at his heart.
That’s why I told him over and over again, please don’t raise your child like this.
‘While I’m here, I should tell the kid everything.’
To be honest, it was an undeniable fact that such thoughts had occurred. If the child eventually found out… . It was a situation where he might declare that he would kill himself and Baekhoga and survive alone.
It didn’t matter that it happened that way.
Still, in my head, the balance between duty and the child was not balanced. I was leaning toward the idea that the child’s life itself was wrong, rather than duty.
However, to the question of whether everyone should die because of that fact, the answer of the scale in my heart was no. That was why I chose to leave the village and become a soldier.
Even though it was easier to belong to the main author, it was in the village where their collateral line lived.
Of course, now that it has become so close to the status of a commoner that it is difficult to even call it a collateral line, it has lost its meaning.
-Dalgrak.
As I was thinking about this and that, before I knew it, all the dishes I had taken out to cook were ready.
“Okay, let’s eat now.”
“… Yes.”
For a moment, an expression crossed the child’s face as if some unpleasant memory had come to mind.
I didn’t know why. There was no reason for the child to do that. There was a time when I almost died because I prepared food myself… .
“Ah… . If you’re worried, I’ll go first-”
“No, sorry.”
The fact that it had only been a short time since the incident happened was quickly forgotten. After all, it had been less than a month before the child’s arm was cut off… Who could believe that it had happened so close to home?
‘…as long as they don’t come again…’
If that’s the case, then no one knew where or how they would come from. Wasn’t the poison incident from earlier also something they did?
All things considered, the conclusion was that there was nothing they could do except hide the child somewhere.
With that conclusion in my arms, I finally escaped that damned family. Is this the best outcome, if any? Or would it have been better to just take him out from the beginning and have him die without me knowing?
Either way, we need to focus first on doing what we can do now.
“Okay. Here it is.”
First, I gave the child a vegetable soup. The child’s expression relaxed, as if he had instantly accepted something familiar.
Watch the child quietly put it in his mouth.
Soon, ears and a tail appeared on the child’s body.
‘… This is the first time I’ve seen something like that.’
As someone who rarely saw my child happy, I felt good that he liked this.
Even the tail was wagging quietly, and it looked like he was in a good mood.
‘… Still, I don’t feel so bad since you like what I made.’
While I watched the child eat, I quietly cleaned up the dishes.
By chance, Madam and I ended up going to the place where the Jujak family was.
Madam said she was going towards the Joojak family, and it didn’t seem like it was a lie. I felt the strange sunlight-like power they held growing stronger.
Even though there was still quite a distance left, the fact that I felt that way meant that I really missed it.
… . Strangely, I even think that if I had a mother, it would be like that.
Of course, the person next to me was my adoptive mother, but I never once had such thoughts about her.
She was someone who could never be a mother to me.
As for the poison, I never blamed her, but now that I think about it, I think I did blame her.
In the end, wasn’t that poison not aimed at me, but at my brother? Or, to be exact, my half-brother?
I once thought that I drank the poison aimed at the young master because she called me. But I soon stopped thinking that way. The fact that she cared for me is not a reason to blame her.
It’s just that I was a little unlucky. I could hear Ability shouting something next to me, but the things Ability was shouting about were no longer important to me.
I didn’t want to use personification as much as possible. That’s why I hardly used personification in that incident last time.
‘If you wanted me to care so much, you should have at least pretended to help me when I was hit.’
I hate that kind of attitude.
Rather, I feel an instinctive aversion to it.
How disgusting it is that someone who used to harm me wants to become someone who helps me. I know to some extent that the world cannot be divided into black and white.
If that were possible, why couldn’t the law divide everyone perfectly? Why am I suffering here like this, but it should be the right thing to do, and why should I have to live?
It was something I had been worrying about and thinking about for a long time, but I had given up on finding an answer.
Rather than answering that question, just living in the present, forgetting about it was the way I lived. That is the exclusive property of those above. It is their role to make those below think and act.
I really didn’t like the fact that they didn’t even maintain that kind of attitude, and that they wanted to treat me well just because they felt sorry for me and wanted to look good for me.
If this trip had that purpose, I might not have wanted to get close to Madam. That’s why I didn’t really care what the head of room 1 did, and I said that it didn’t matter if things changed.
Of course, they seemed to care more about that kind of thing.
I was just preparing to welcome the night that was approaching.
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