episode_0062

062 – Prepare the Worst Gift! # 1

“Prince Zagreus is a man who likes parties. So, he is said to have many connections with Dionysus, the god of festivals. If it’s Dionysus nim, I too have a truly deep connection…”

Krauser, immersed in reminiscence, picked up his fourth pheasant leg. He seemed to be thinking of the days when he livened up the broken party atmosphere with his lyre. Next to him, Deputy Narcissus picked up his fourth wing.

“The Prince’s banquet is a partner-accompanied gathering, so it’ll be difficult to participate if you don’t have a partner, won’t it? I know, because Echo and I have participated before.”

Deputy Na attending a party with Echo ssi? I looked at the pure and kind nymph, Echo ssi. Echo ssi seemed to sense our gaze from afar and waved her hand.

“Of course, Echo was there as a part-time worker carrying plates. And I participated as a staff member carrying wine. Still, not just anyone could enter the banquet hall, so that alone was a tremendous honor! Ahem!”

It was Deputy Narcissus boasting about himself.

In other words, it was a banquet that mortals wanted to enter, even if it meant being a part-time worker washing dishes and carrying wine glasses. I had received an invitation to such a banquet.

Why, you ask?

Because of this bracelet.

“As I’ve said repeatedly, it wasn’t me who defeated the Hell Wheels, but this bracelet and the serpent’s voodoo magic. This fellow here.”

I pointed with my hand to the bracelet quietly curled up on my wrist. At that sight, both Krauser and Deputy Narcissus burst out laughing.

“Joy Section Chief seems to have no talent for jokes! Even I, Krauser, have never heard of a bracelet defeating Hell Wheels!”

“Joy Section Chief, I assure you. Excessive humility will rather get you criticized. You should know how to show yourself off!”

No, it’s true. If I could show the bracelet moving fiercely again, my unfairness would be resolved, but the bracelet just stayed quiet like a real bracelet. It was truly absurd.

Even more absurd was this:

“It seems legless and wingless pheasants are in fashion these days. I clearly ordered two, but where did all the wings and legs go?”

“Ahem, ahem, in life, there are such things as legless pheasants, aren’t there? Just as there are musicians who can no longer sing…”

Krauser hastily put down the pheasant leg bone he was holding in his hand. Next to him, Deputy Narcissus, who was picking at a wing bone, feigned ignorance.

“Wings, you say? I don’t even know what that is.”

Between the brilliantly incompetent Krauser and the selfish Deputy Narcissus, thanks to them, only the tasteless breast meat remained on the plate.

Ugh-.

Angrily, I wolfed down the breast meat, and Morose nim, who was watching the scene, made his eyes gleam from behind his sunglasses.

“To eat only healthy breast meat. Joy Section Chief, your thorough and abstemious eating habits are something everyone could learn from.”

━Woof…!

To gain credit even by eating leftover chicken breast. This is probably why social life is so difficult.

“That barking fellow is a dog-squirrel! Wow, I don’t know how long it’s been since I saw a living dog-squirrel. Euriol used to really like dog-squirrels…”

Krauser began to shed tears. Upon reflection, that dog-like barking squirrel seemed to be a creature called a dog-squirrel. I don’t know who named it, but what a casual name.

Soon, Morose nim sat down at our table and asked.

“Joy, you’re planning to participate in Prince Zagreus’s event, aren’t you?”

“No.”

“I thought it was strange ever since it was said that a headquarters section chief would personally join the subjugation team. Surely, I wouldn’t have thought your purpose was to catch the eye of my youngest sister, Nixdoti, to receive an invitation.”

“No, it’s really not.”

“There’s no harm in making a good impression on the Prince, who will be the next chairman. More precisely, it’s important to make a good impression on the Prince’s wives. Everyone knows the Prince cherishes them terribly.”

Wait. At that moment, an idea flashed in my head.

‘There’s something called bedside diplomacy.’

This refers to a wife making various requests or earnest pleas to her husband in bed. Such scenes frequently appear even in Greek mythology. The story of Hera, Queen of the Gods, persuading her husband Zeus in bed to achieve her desires in the Trojan War, not allowing him to leave her side, is especially famous.

‘In my estimation, Kronos’s descendants are weak to their wives’ pleas.’

Just look at Krauser’s case right now. At the request of Persephone nim, the goddess of Kimchi making, even that Chairman (Hades) broke his will and allowed the resurrection of the deceased Eurydice ssi, even if only for a single instance.

‘Now that I think about it, it truly is absurd. Even I, a living person, find it difficult to return to the surface world. Yet, it was a situation where he said he would send a dead person back to the surface world.’

A gene weak to a wife’s request. That exists in Kronos’s bloodline.

‘Prince Zagreus also has a high probability of being a man who cannot ignore his wives’ requests. In that case, the target I need to displease in order to get fired is clear!’

Why hadn’t I thought of this until now? I should have known that to get to the general, you must shoot the horse first. That I, such a normal person that I couldn’t even easily think of such a method, am currently sitting in a headquarters section chief position and being lauded as competent, is simply deplorable!

“Even this fried pheasant is quite palatable. I thought it was just unhealthy food eaten only by commoners. Do you guys know any more restaurants like this?”

“Yes, I do. I also know a restaurant where if you order one serving of stir-fried spicy pork, you can get unlimited refills of rice and side dishes. By the way, sometimes, if you’re lucky, rolled omelets or soy-sauce braised beef stew are served as side dishes!”

“Good. Let’s have the upcoming dinner there. I’m curious if it truly offers unlimited refills.”

Naturally, it wasn’t unlimited. Side dish refills were limited to 10 times.

“It seems the problem was that too many people came and attracted attention. Last time, when I came alone, I refilled about 22 times, packed some in a side dish container, and even took some for the next day…”

What?! Krauser, you good-for-nothing!

I subtly glanced at Morose nim, wondering if he might lay off this despicable employee. However, Morose nim was laughing, ha-ha.

“Paying for merely one meal and freeloading to that extent, do you have no shame, you rascal?”

“It’s alright. Instead, I left my signature on the wall.”

“Signature? What’s the meaning of that?”

“There is! A very great meaning! This Krauser’s signature will someday come to possess tremendous value in this Soul Society!”

“Phew, I’m full. Well, it seems it’s about time for Echo to finish work, so I’ll get going first. Joy Section Chief, Krauser. See you again next time. Morose nim, please go safely.”

Deputy Narcissus waved his hand vigorously. Watching his retreating back, Krauser again shed a few tears.

“There were days when I waited for my girlfriend and left work together too. Now, even if I go home, only large Hell Wheels will greet me.”

“There’s nothing I can’t empathize with. The feeling of going home and being alone was quite lonely and solitary for me too. It has improved because I’ve had a friend for a few years now, but.”

━Woof…!

Is it a topic that can’t help but come up when salaried workers and single men gather, regardless of their circumstances? A story about loneliness and solitude.

Soon, Morose nim asked me.

“So, have you decided on the most important problem? The Prince’s banquet is a partner-accompanied gathering. You can’t participate alone. Finding an opposite-sex partner to accompany you will be the top priority.”

A partner, you say? Now that I thought about it, finding a partner to go to an accompanied gathering with seemed like it wouldn’t be easy. That’s because of Melinoye nim…

It was clear that no matter who I chose, she would definitely hit me on the head, saying, “How dare you bypass me and choose another woman? Be-come a ter-ri-ble cockroach, Zap!” And if I were to attend the party with Melinoye nim, it might lead to misfortune for me, with a nymph suddenly popping out and causing a chaotic mess, just like last time.

I began to ponder this problem for a long time. After half a day of deep contemplation, I found a brilliant answer.

***

Melinoye. She watched TV in her house.

“Just make a call!”

Alcestis, the housekeeper sitting on the sofa with her, furiously threw a fit while watching the drama series on TV. This was because the female protagonist on TV was just suffering silently and pining away alone, without even making a call, though the problem could be solved quickly if she just called the male protagonist.

“Such a cowardly woman! Love is something you chase after and seize!”

Alcestis lived harmoniously with Admetus, like a devoted couple. And Alcestis was always the more proactive one. The goddess Melinoye laughed, ho-ho-ho, towards such an Alcestis.

“That’s not always true. You shouldn’t cling to a man.”

“What? Why? If you like someone, isn’t it right to go straight for them?”

“You shouldn’t do that. Men are all hunters. They like to chase because they don’t like to be chased. A woman must always maintain a position worth chasing for a man.”

“Oh! Oh! So, Melinoye nim is also waiting without contacting him, right?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I mean that device. You’ve been looking at it continuously since a while ago, haven’t you?”

Alcestis laughed, he-he-he, with narrowed eyes. Melinoye put the device she had been looking at into her pocket and quickly turned her head away.

“Not particularly. I just thought time was passing slowly.”

Actually, Melinoye was waiting for some contact.

‘I even personally handed over the invitation, so it should be time for contact to come soon.’

Zagreus’s wedding anniversary party was a more splendid banquet than any other festival. Because it also gave ‘special gifts’ to participants, everyone wanted to participate.

‘Of course, I don’t particularly have the desire to attend the party.’

It wasn’t even a wedding ceremony. ‘A wedding anniversary celebration party?’ She thought it might be making too much fuss.

‘Even I, his younger sister, can’t enter without an invitation, can I?’

So, Melinoye intended to refuse party attendance even if invited. However, if someone earnestly requested her presence out of necessity, there was nothing she couldn’t illuminate by accompanying him and gracing the event with her presence. Refusing an earnest request would also not be the right thing to do as a goddess.

Thus, the drama ended. Before long, Alcestis’s clock-out time arrived.

“Melinoye nim, then I’ll get going. My husband said he’d come to pick me up, so I think you don’t need to come out to greet me. Then, I hope the message you’re waiting for definitely comes!”

Alcestis laughed, pu-he-he, and departed. After a long time passed from then, it was midnight.

Melinoye frowned intensely. She picked up the device and hesitated for a moment. Melinoye called a certain number.

“Joy, I called to tell you that the invitation you received is actually for two people, meaning there’s one for a partner too. That means you need to find an accompanying participant. I’m contacting you just in case you forgot.”

Melinoye recalled the words she had said earlier. That a chasing woman has no charm.

“Of course, I don’t intend to participate in this event, but if you don’t have a partner, from the standpoint of saving a pitiful man… Hmm?”

Melinoye’s expression suddenly frowned intensely.

“You already found a partner?”

Blaze-!

The blazing gaze of the goddess. Melinoye thought there was a need to find out exactly what kind of woman Joy had invited as a partner.

‘Joy might have been deceived by a wicked and cunning woman. It’s a common occurrence even for great gods and heroes, so it’s not unusual.’

Watching over and taking care of her own believers is fundamental as a goddess. After all, it was a point often emphasized even in Hera’s writings, “The Goddess’s Etiquette,” by the Queen of the Gods.

‘I need to go myself and find out what kind of woman she is.’