episode_0061

Realizing everything.

Emotions that I had been trying to ignore come flooding back.

I couldn’t stay sane with that feeling.

These are feelings that I have been ignoring for at least five years.

All those emotions were swirling around at once and I couldn’t bear it.

My mind was collapsing, and what filled my collapsing mind was an intense killing intent.

I wanted to kill the person in front of me who was my enemy and had taken everything from me.

I couldn’t stand it.

How can I bear with the person who took everything from me?

I tried to kill him by any means necessary, and when I came to my senses, he had already met his death by my hands.

And without a trace.

Clearly the revenge was successful.

But how could it be so vain?

Even though I felt a little bit of relief in the past.

I couldn’t even feel those emotions now.

I felt the futility of killing my enemy so easily and the sense of deprivation that my loved ones were killed by this guy.

To this guy.

To a guy who wasn’t even my opponent.

Losing two loved ones.

I felt disgusted with myself.

I couldn’t hold my mind any longer.

I felt like I was going to go crazy if I held on any longer.

No, maybe I was already crazy.

Because you don’t even know what you are doing.

I was just dazed.

I was out of my mind.

The will to live has disappeared.

‘It’ll be okay if I die like this… ‘

I didn’t have the confidence to live any longer.

All those things that we buried in our hearts after hearing Master’s words and moving on are in fact nothing but illusions caused by forgetfulness.

I wasn’t that great of a person.

He wasn’t even that cool of a person.

The truth hidden in oblivion was a shabby existence swayed by emotions.

Although he had awakened to become a warrior, he did not even think that he was suitable for that position. Also, since there was a main character who was even more of a warrior than me, it wouldn’t have made much of a difference if I were to die.

‘so… ‘

I guess it’s time to die now.

I was destined to die anyway.

It was a fate that should have already died, and it only came to pass now.

I quietly closed my eyes.

I felt like I could die if I closed my eyes like this.

As if my prediction was correct, my consciousness gradually began to fade.

‘This is the end.’

If it was long, it was long.

Times that can be said to be short.

In that time, I experienced a lot and came to the end.

Even though the end was not good, at least the life I lived along the way was not full of bad things.

It’s not enough to say it’s a good life.

A life that was good enough to be called a very good life.

Thinking of them, I slowly closed my eyes.

***

My eyes slowly open to the bright light that stimulates my eyes.

When I opened my eyes, the sight I saw was the sun shining brightly in the sky.

‘… ‘Is he dead?’

Seeing as he woke up in the palace and other places, I think he’s dead.

I don’t know where this place is.

I slowly got up and looked around. The surrounding area was a plain with nothing in it.

All that was visible was the lawn stretching out to the horizon.

A large lawn with not a single living thing in sight.

I moved while looking at the scene.

“Let’s walk first.”

I walked with that thought in mind. I walked without knowing where I was going. I kept walking, thinking that something might come out.

Because if you stay still, something won’t appear or happen.

Let’s keep walking in this endless place.

In the distance, I saw two figures that looked like people.

‘I can’t see very well.’

Maybe it’s because it’s so far away.

I couldn’t see well.

I quickly approached to see who it was.

The distance becomes closer, and the blurry image becomes clearer and clearer.

I stopped in my tracks at the sight of the two figures who soon appeared.

“… ”

be used to.

The image of the two is not only familiar, but fleeting and precious, and has never been forgotten.

Master and Arina were standing there.

‘… Is this also a dream?’

I had a dream once before.

Is it the same this time too?

Is this an illusion created by my regret?

Perhaps that is highly likely.

‘… I have to leave now.’

If I talked to the two here like last time, my current resolution would be broken.

I barely made a promise, but it was funny when I was defeated by the illusion I had created.

I turned around with a smile.

The moment you take a step to increase the distance.

“Kael.”

Arina’s voice pierced my ears.

I stopped walking momentarily.

“… ”

I know it’s obviously fake.

It has to be fake.

Because this place is a fantasy I created.

But why?

Does it make you think it’s not an illusion?

Even when I thought about it, I couldn’t understand it.

I know it’s obviously fake, but I have the contradictory thought that it’s not fake.

The only way to confirm this is to check it yourself.

I took a breath and turned my body again.

There, I saw Arina and Master looking at me.

And let’s take a look at the two.

I couldn’t help but realize this instinctively.

That these two are not illusions I created.

“… ”

When I realized that fact, I looked at the two with endlessly shaking pupils.

Arina approached me with a faint smile.

“Kael.”

“… ”

She called my name and gently stroked my cheek before hugging me.

Because of the height difference, she had to hug me, but that alone was enough to make me feel warm.

“I’m sorry, Kael. Dad is leaving. Because I left like that. Was it very difficult?”

“… No… ”

“No, what. Isn’t that the guy who tried to kill you just a moment ago?”

Next, the sound of Master’s pounding was heard.

Although the words themselves were obviously harsh, there was a fleeting, kind smile on the corner of Master’s lips.

I bowed my head.

I tried to suppress the tears that formed around my eyes as they fell.

The tears that I could not suppress continued to flow.

Arina whispered softly as if to comfort me.

“B. I was really happy meeting Kael. I want to be with you more, I want to be with you for the rest of our lives. If Kael. If you really go through with that choice, I will be able to achieve my wish. Because you too will come to the same place as us. but. You have work to do, right?”

“… I am… Could… Is there… ”

I already know.

But because I couldn’t do that, I was pushed into the current situation.

I wonder if I, such a weak person, can really do this.

I thought I couldn’t do it.

However, Arina didn’t seem to think so.

“Then. You’ve done well so far. You overcame this well, saved many people, and met us like this.”

“Just… By fooling myself… I just came… ”

Arina, who was out of my arms for a moment, forced me to raise my head and made eye contact with me. Arina looked at me and tilted her head as if wondering.

“That’s strange, Kael. So then all your feelings from the time you said you deceived yourself until now were all lies? Also about me.”

“That can’t be… Is there… ”

I was saddened by Arina’s death more than anything else.

In the first place, there can be no one who is lying about being sad over the death of a loved one.

Even if there was one in 10,000 people, at least it wasn’t me.

Arina smiled warmly at my words.

“Right? i think so too. So believe in yourself. Whether you lied about your feelings or something. Everything you felt wasn’t a lie. As if it wasn’t a lie that you were sad and had a hard time over my death. The feelings you had for others were not lies either. As your father said, you lived for the future, and the result is the present, right?”

“… ”

“So, you are living as your father said. Don’t focus on faking your own feelings. It doesn’t matter that you’ve been fooling yourself. Because you overcame it with strength and just moved forward.”

Arina smiled brightly.

It was a smile that made me feel warm and stable.

“And what if I fake my feelings? What’s important are the emotions you’ve seen and felt. Recall the happy moments and happy memories. And live. Even for the sake of those who remain. Even if that doesn’t work, remember me and move on for your father’s sake. You can do it, right?”

I nodded at Arina’s words.

“… I’ll do it… ”

“I knew Kael would say that.”

After saying that, Arina widened the distance between her and me a little.

I turned my gaze to Master.

Master shrugged his shoulders at my gaze.

“I honestly don’t have much to say. I don’t even want to offer comfort to a grown man. Still, let me say something. Work hard.”

A simple but sincere voice.

I nodded because I felt like he had strong faith in me.

“Yes… ”

“Okay then, shall we say goodbye? Because I don’t think I can hold it any longer.”

Now is the time that could really be the last.

I made eye contact with Arina for the last time.

Arina also did not avoid my gaze.

Arina approaches me.

As the distance gradually narrowed, I heard breathing.

I carefully closed my eyes, and immediately felt the touch of Arina’s soft lips, something I had only felt once before.

Instead of panicking like last time, I slowly engraved the feeling clearly into my mind.

Soon, Arina’s lips parted and her closed eyes naturally opened.

Although it was a short kiss, the touch was clearer than ever and the lingering feeling was longer.

As I saw the body’s image becoming increasingly blurred, I knew the end was near.

I smiled one last time and spoke to Arina.

“… I was happy.”

“I was happy too, Kael. Can’t you come here too quickly?”

With those words, my vision changed dramatically.

When I opened my eyes, I was inside a familiar palace.