episode_0061

In response to Eil’s seemingly knowing words, Lager stiffened up.

Even though it wasn’t something unexpected.

The difference between anticipating something and hearing it directly was too shocking.

“Do you want me to be jealous?”

His childhood friend asked, leaning his chin on his hand after downing a shot of soju.

It wasn’t out of curiosity, nor was it a mocking or sarcastic remark warning her not to harbor false hopes.

She just felt sorry for her childhood friend who had turned into a man.

That was all.

And Lager clearly understood her feelings.

As he hesitated on how to respond, losing the timing to open his mouth, Lager postponed his answer and slurped down his sundae soup.

The broth that had been sticking to his lips until now suddenly felt heavy and difficult to swallow.

So he reached for another drink.

He downed a glass and then another. His nose wrinkled from the bitterness, and he frowned.

Eil took a shallow breath and picked up a piece of boiled pork.

“Eat some boiled pork. It’s good.”

“No, you eat more.”

“It’s expensive.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

With the broth not going down, Lager grumbled to himself and only emptied his cup of alcohol.

Eil grabbed Lager’s hand as he reached for another drink, intending to drink three glasses in a row.

“Hey.”

Lager raised his slightly loosened eyes to look at Eil.

For a moment.

Silently, their gazes crossed between them.

“Eil.”

Lager slowly, with a slightly softened voice, asked slowly.

“Is it really too late?”

“….”

“Is there even a 1% chance?”

Eil remained silent.

Having turned into her, he was only contemplating how to turn her back into him.

Yet Lager.

Persistently asked once again.

“Thinking about what you’re doing while you’re with Dakota, looking out the window to see if you’ll pass by, waiting for a reply to the messages you send, checking your phone more than ten times in a minute for a reply.”

“Still, is it impossible?”

Eil grimaced and shook her head.

Seeing her eyes avoiding his gaze, Lager let out a heavy sigh and put down his spoon.

His appetite disappeared.

Eil slowly spoke.

“If we were to date, what would happen to the original story you envisioned?”

“What are you suddenly talking about?”

“Originally, you were supposed to date Dakota. If we were to completely flip that story, what would happen to Dakota and how would the story you envisioned unfold?”

Lager’s imagined world. And the predetermined timeline within it.

Within that timeline, a mission is given, and Lager moves towards the goal of ‘saving the world’ by solving it.

But if that predetermined timeline were to be distorted, how would the future unfold.

…he brought out that flimsy excuse.

“It’s cowardly, Cha Yujin.”

Lager didn’t let it slide.

“You’re just making excuses about the story and everything.”

“It’s not entirely wrong.”

“Just say you don’t like me.”

“I don’t dislike you. It’s just….”

“As a rational person.”

Interrupting Eil, Lager urged for an answer in an agitated voice.

“As a rational person, I’m telling you, I don’t see even a speck of interest.”

“Lager, that’s….”

“Talking about the story, Dakota, it’s all just excuses. Weren’t those the words you said to me when you rejected my confession in high school?”

Even as he said that, Lager’s heart ached.

Yes, that’s how it was.

At that time, both me and Ale are likely feeling similar emotions.

Unable to accept the confession but not wanting to lose a friend, the awkwardness.

Even though the reasons for not being able to accept the confession may be slightly different, the context is the same.

Ale poured himself another glass of soju. The second bottle was already empty. He thought about ordering another bottle but decided against it.

If they drank more here, they might end up exchanging irrational stories. Then, they might not even remain friends.

So, endure.

Thinking it was the last time, Ale downed his drink and exhaled a warm breath towards Laga.

“Let’s not talk about this anymore.”

As Ale extended his glass, Laga responded with a bitter expression, clinking their glasses once again. The sound of the empty glasses echoed in a hollow manner.

“If we keep this up, we might not even remain friends.”

With a polite but firm refusal, Laga’s throat tightened.

“Don’t think about me when you’re with Dakota. Don’t look out the window unnecessarily, focus on her. Don’t wait for my messages. I won’t reply anymore.”

Ale picked up a piece of pork belly and crossed his legs under the chair as he spoke.

“And what I said earlier, it’s not an excuse.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Focus on Dakota. Just as it should have been from the beginning.”

I won’t play the role of an extra interfering between the two of you.

With that, Ale stood up first from his seat. Looking at her, who brought two fingers to her lips, Laga scratched his carefully styled hair and stood up from his seat.

Both of them left a little bit of sundae soup, but all the alcohol was gone.

After paying the bill, the two of them went to a quiet alley nearby to smoke. Looking at the cigarette Laga offered, Ale grumbled.

“Menthol? You’re not manly.”

“If you don’t like it, don’t take it.”

“A man should smoke menthol.”

Taking a sip after lighting it, a refreshing breath spread through the throat as if pushing the candy down the throat. Exhaling smoke, Ale suddenly apologized.

“Sorry.”

“What are you sorry for, now?”

“That day, after I confessed to you, I tried to treat you as if nothing had changed. …Yes, I tried hard to get used to it.”

Talking about the past again. Laga was now getting annoyed.

Every time the story was brought up, he felt as if he was being pointed out about the past, which made him feel awkward and uncomfortable.

But.

He couldn’t show that to Ale.

Because she had gone through a painful time because of him.

“So, I really got used to you too much. Whenever something happens, I look for you, whether you’ve eaten or not, if the weather is cold, if you might catch a cold. I think about those things too.”

After even blowing smoke through the filter, Ale spoke.

“But that’s it. I don’t have any special thoughts about you beyond that.”

“….”

“So. Let’s just keep it that way.”

Taking care of each other but not being special to each other.

“I’m begging you.”

Those four words.

Among the words Laga heard today, they hurt the most.

Laga just nodded his head.

This time, he didn’t cry.

Because it was an unmanly thing to do.

He decided not to cry.

*

After finishing his outing and returning, it was time for dinner. After reporting back to the command control room, Laga headed straight to the hospital.

Of course, unlike visiting Moonbyeong, there was no need to request a visit in advance for caregivers. So, without going through the reception, Laga headed straight to the elevator.

7th floor.

Stepping out of the elevator, Laga opened Dakota’s hospital room door without knocking.

“Ah.”

She was exercising.

Without showing any signs of discomfort at the rude visit, Dakota wiped the sweat off her one remaining arm with a welcoming expression and asked, “Did you enjoy your outing?”

“….”

“Did you come here to brag about renting a nearby motel and having a hot ‘hook-up’?”

“…….”

Despite the awkward joke that didn’t quite fit, Lager showed no reaction.

Dakota, who belatedly caught a whiff of Lager’s strong breath and the faint smell of alcohol carried on it, finally sensed something off.

“What’s going on?”

“I came to talk to you.”

Lager closed the door to the hospital room with a creak.

Dakota stood still, not even thinking about wiping away the pouring sweat, waiting for Lager to speak.

After a moment of silence, Lager took a step towards Dakota.

As Lager got closer, Dakota couldn’t help but imagine various scenarios in his head, regardless of his own will.

Was it because Chloe couldn’t stand being around him anymore? Should he have not let Lager go today after all?

Or maybe, although it was highly unlikely, was Lager trying to say that he had developed feelings for him?

Dakota’s thoughts were solely focused on whether Lager would push him away or reciprocate his feelings. It was the most important thing to her at the moment.

However, Lager’s revelation far exceeded Dakota’s expectations.

“I’m actually a woman.”

“Excuse me…?”

Dakota’s face stiffened.