episode_0060

Something miraculous happened to me.

My dying body was restored.

It was still unclear how he recovered.

Is it really a miracle that God granted my wish?

Or is there something special about this body?

I can’t do either one.

What I was sure of was that I could dream of everyday life with them.

After I recovered from all my wounds and woke up like that.

Some things have changed, one of which is that he became the man’s disciple and received training from him.

It was because of the strong recommendation from the man that something like this might happen in the future and that I needed a means to protect myself when I was away due to unavoidable circumstances.

I also recognized my own weakness and accepted his recommendation.

Other than that, the only thing that changed was Arina.

Arina, who always looked at me unfavorably, started taking care of me from that day on.

Actions such as giving water after training, or coming next to a child and talking to them when they are alone.

I was grateful that he was very interested in me and thought of me favorably, and I was able to become close with him quickly, but honestly, I didn’t know why.

It is said that I sacrificed myself to protect her, but from my perspective, I was just trying to protect her because she was my benefactor’s daughter. Even if I was grateful for that, Arina was too good to me.

It’s so strange that it’s simply an act of gratitude.

I didn’t know the reason at the time, but I just thought it was a good thing and moved on.

Later, Arina confessed to me and I found out the reason.

She confessed to me with her face blushing under the brightly shining moonlight.

To be honest, I was quite embarrassed at the time.

I couldn’t believe it, because I never even thought that Arina would like me.

I couldn’t help but be taken aback by Arina saying that in a situation I couldn’t even imagine.

However, being embarrassed is being embarrassed.

I responded to her confession.

Not positively, but negatively.

To be honest, I don’t remember much right now, so I thought about it carefully.

How was I at that time?

Oh yeah. Obviously, I also had feelings for Arina.

I liked her smile and good personality.

But still, the reason I rejected her confession was the anxiety that remained in my heart.

I don’t know how long this peaceful daily life will last, but in the end, death was virtually certain for my future.

I didn’t want to die, I wanted to live so much.

The anxiety about the future that I might die still lingered in my mind, so I had no choice but to reject her confession.

With the ridiculous excuse of having work to do.

Even though there is nothing like that.

He stubbornly rejected her confession, using the excuse that he had work to do in the future.

Anyway, when I accepted my current confession.

I had the same thought that I didn’t want to be hurt too much if I died.

Thinking about it now, it was really funny.

At the time, I thought that was the right thing to do.

However, even though she thought it was true, the look on her face when she heard my rejection was quite shocking.

Her face was full of resignation and deep sadness.

Because it was my first time seeing it at the time.

Fortunately, there was no awkwardness with Arina after that.

In fact, we were closer than before, but there was still an unknown distance.

But that feeling of distance wasn’t uncomfortable or anything.

Because this was better.

I had a strong belief that it was better now than to be hurt by something later.

Those were the days when I went about my daily life with an inexplicable sense of distance and became close friends with Mul, the owner of the bar.

I heard that my teacher was killed by bandits.

At first I was in denial and couldn’t believe it.

I didn’t think that Master would just barely lose to bandits or something.

However, denying reality did not change it.

Because Master’s death was not a lie, it was the truth.

The miserable and despairing truth.

My teacher always told me to live without being caught up in the past.

I just couldn’t do that.

How could that be?

The people who killed my family and my benefactor were alive and well, but there was no one in this world that I could just sit by. Even if there were, there were very few of them, but at least I was not one of those saints.

He wanted to eliminate all bandits, not just the bandit who killed his teacher.

The purpose was to take revenge on them.

The problem was that in order to do that, I needed a force to move around, and I returned to the church after a year to achieve the goal of revenge.

Of course they didn’t welcome me.

Of course, he must have welcomed me since he was gone for a year without saying a word.

But the hero’s power was stronger than I thought.

Even though he went somewhere without saying a word for a year, he had no problem acting with the authority of a warrior. And I literally massacred the bandits using the power available to me.

He went out to subdue bandits with the sole intention of not leaving a single person behind in the world.

There was no such thing as a day off, and he ignored comments from people around him and focused only on stopping the bandits.

In the process, I met Lena and developed many relationships.

The most important thing to me was still the suppression of bandits.

I spent my time with the sole purpose of getting rid of all the bandits.

Before I knew it, there was no trace of the bandits.

Only then did I know that my revenge was over.

The feeling of ending about a year of revenge.

What came at the end of that feeling was strong joy and strong emptiness.

It was definitely very refreshing, but my heart felt empty.

I couldn’t help but wonder if this time really had any meaning, and I felt a sense of self-destruction every day.

The thought of wanting to die right now dominated my mind.

I felt like I wanted to hang myself right away.

In the end, I couldn’t do it.

That’s because as soon as I came to my senses, the number of precious people around me increased.

The paladins who follow me blindly and Lena who does her best to help me. Even though we couldn’t meet each other now, Arina and Mule were there for me.

So, even for their sake, I couldn’t die miserably.

I had to get my mind together somehow.

I held on, remembering Master’s words.

It means forgetting the past and moving forward.

At the time, I asked myself countless times whether it would be possible, but I had to do it somehow.

Because I thought it was for my departed teacher.

As Master said, I lived for the future and decided to accept my original destiny.

Although it was an inevitable fate that I tried so hard to avoid, I thought that I could die if it could save the world and, furthermore, make the world beneficial.

At least it was something I did for the world rather than killing myself miserably.

That’s how I was able to find the main character based on the original work and help her get out into the world.

We helped her find colleagues and continued to support her with money so she wouldn’t have to worry about her finances.

Based on the information I knew, I leaked information to help her grow, and had Lena do all the care for them.

Five years passed like that.

The main character’s party grew more and more, and I decided to accept the approaching fate.

But suddenly a thought occurred to me.

Is this really the right thing to do?

Is it really right for me to accept fate and die?

Is this really meaningful?

Without being able to properly answer the questions I had about him, I saw the hero I had only seen in the original.

The hero’s appearance was the same as in the original.

The shining figure I admired.

But I couldn’t feel any emotion while looking at such a hero.

I felt broken and could see that I was still caught up in the past.

I still couldn’t shake it off.

Given that fact, I had no choice but to lie to my own feelings.

Because I still felt so deep in self-loathing that I couldn’t shake off the regrets of the past.

I fooled myself.

As if he were a person who had never experienced anything negative.

As I read the text, I remembered my past self admiring the main character and acted like that.

I didn’t even realize that I was deceiving myself.

In order to let go of the regrets of the past, I used hypnosis that I could not recognize and ignored my emotions.

So naturally, I was filled with thoughts of being defeated by the hero and accepting my fate.

There was no hesitation like before.

but.

The doubts that were hidden in my emotions still remained.

Caught up in that question, I defeated the hero.

At the time, I recognized that I had accidentally adjusted my force incorrectly, but in reality, it was not a mistake.

It was just an effect caused by emotions that were ignored.

I just put it off and put it off.

He kept pushing me with absurd excuses.

I postponed it, saying it wasn’t the right time yet.

Time passes like that.

Not until I was faced with the enemy who killed my precious family.

I was able to realize everything.

It’s not just something I keep buried in my heart.

The fact that he was ignoring it.