episode_0060

I decided to become a bit more shameless.

In reality, there was no other way.

Of course, I believe in the character of magical girls. Especially, I believe in Hayoon’s character.

These girls were not the type to sacrifice themselves and kill others, no matter how pushed to the extreme.

Breaking the arms and legs of enemy combatants, or using magic, were things that happened in battle situations. In any case, the opposing combatants were also aiming for something and doing something, and the magical girls were just moving to protect that something.

I knew they weren’t the type to threaten me or do anything like that.

Moreover, it wasn’t a situation extreme enough to warrant such actions. The world hadn’t come to an end, and we were just five people together in a fairly spacious ruin.

We weren’t trapped, and there were other options. If we left here, we could reach a well-paved asphalt road, and if we followed that road, we would surely come across a village or a city.

The problem was the lack of money, and even though it was a bit risky to walk on the road in the middle of the night in this country, there was still a way to escape from here.

The people here ultimately ended up here because they wanted to be here. There was no reason to fight for survival over the remaining food in a post-apocalyptic struggle.

But even so, taking away the children’s autonomy was not my intention. And I didn’t want to lose control here.

It was the worst when someone tried to persuade me.

“I don’t plan on sharing my tent with anyone.”

I said it firmly.

“Food or… anyway, those things too. You guys came here on your own. It’s not my responsibility, no matter how hard you’ve worked.”

“… ”

Dahlia and Delphinium looked a bit uneasy as they glanced around the ruin.

Even if it wasn’t too damp unless you were near the window, it wasn’t exactly tidy.

The night was still cold. The wind coming in through the open window would surely be chilly.

There was still time before the night got too late, but in reality, there wasn’t enough time to prepare to spend the night in this situation.

They weren’t kids who had received survival training somewhere, just ordinary kids. At least as far as I knew, these kids had never received such training.

But it wasn’t cold enough to freeze to death, so I decided to go out harshly.

“Got it.”

The only one who nodded without changing her expression was Hayoon.

It was strange. Hayoon must have lived in a wealthy household for a long time, but even in this situation, she was smiling as if she was grateful for something.

Where did that pride come from?

It was strange that she wasn’t flustered at all in this situation.

“Is it okay to go out?”

“… How far…?”

I had confiscated both the cell phone and the walkie-talkie. There was a plan to return them, but not yet. James was still fixing them.

I hesitated for a moment.

Would these kids get lost in the mountains?

… They had followed me here on their own, so I didn’t think it was my responsibility no matter what happened. Whatever they did, the consequences of the actions of the magical girls ultimately fell on them. Even if they were minors—still, they had judgment.

I knew it was a cowardly thing for me to say, considering I had been an adult in my past life, but still, in this world, I was around the same age as these kids.

I didn’t really want the kids to go missing or die. At this point, the magical girls might even be able to help me.

Whether it’s the government or the federation, if they come looking for a date, just tell them to deal with Ha Yoon no matter what.

…That’s all. It really was just a thought. I had no worries. Really.

“…Just go as far as you can see the house. I won’t go out to look for you even if you get lost.”

I barely knew the area around here. I only knew that there was only one road connecting here.

“Got it.”

Ha Yoon didn’t seem flustered.

Unlike when I first came here. Unlike when I had to sleep by the oxygen tank.

Since I arrived at this abandoned house, I didn’t want to do anything. So, I stayed inside the tent, dealing with only the most basic bodily functions.

I never thought about going around to other houses to find something.

“…”

Whether I looked away or not, Ha Yoon saw the children.

“Well, let’s move.”

“Move? Where to?”

Rose asked in confusion at Ha Yoon’s words.

“We have to sleep tonight. It’s better to rest like this, right?”

“…”

At Ha Yoon’s words, Rose and Iris looked at each other.

Behind them, Delphinium and Dahlia made disgusted expressions.

Normally, such expressions would be a common reaction.

Why is Ha Yoon—

“Well, I’ll go out and come back. Don’t worry, I won’t go far as you said.”

“…I’m not worried.”

Ha Yoon looked at me and said, and I turned my gaze away and said that.

I couldn’t tell what expression Ha Yoon made when looking at me.

But soon, I heard the sound of someone turning around.

Behind Ha Yoon’s clearly strong footsteps, there was a hesitant, but inevitable sound of footsteps.

Is she really planning to stay here?

Until when?

No, I don’t even know why I’m here in the first place, giving up on the circuit.

“…”

It’s too bothersome to think. I had too much to do today.

I just… want to rest. Do nothing.

With that thought in mind, I crawled into the tent without even bothering about James fidgeting and rustling, and fell asleep.

*

How many hours did I sleep?

When I opened my eyes, James was gone.

Rubbing my eyes with my hands, I suddenly heard a noise outside the tent.

A rustling sound. A sound of something hard hitting each other. A fluttering sound.

Let’s go outside the tent—

“Are you up?”

For some reason, Ha Yoon was smiling at me.

It was already a bit dark outside. It’s not been that long since then. The sun is still short at this time.

Ha Yoon… was laying a transparent plastic sheet on the ground. It looked quite decent and spacious, enough for the children to lie down comfortably.

“It looks like the sheet used by the person who used to make fields. I borrowed it for a bit.”

Actually, it must have been found by rummaging through the collapsing house.

By laying the plastic sheet on the ground, a space that seemed suitable for people to lie down was created. At least lying on it wouldn’t make the body dirty.

Was the field for farming this big? No, this house itself wasn’t that big, there must have been something covering the walls besides the ground.

The children were sticking the plastic sheet to the walls in pairs.

It wasn’t neatly done like wallpaper, but just enough so that the body wouldn’t get dirty even if it touched it.

But even that made it look much… more hygienic.

“…”

I went outside the tent and sat down.

James was outside the tent, nibbling on an acorn. The hamster was eating the acorn.

Did Ha Yoon pick this up too?

“It’s quite impressive, isn’t it?”

James, who was chewing on the acorn with his front teeth, said.

“It seems that using hope as energy is not completely false. To come to such a conclusion in this situation.”

Indeed.

It was a much more constructive approach than rushing in recklessly with a self-destructive mindset.

But I didn’t like it.

The reason was rooted in unnecessary pride.

I had come first and made this place livable. I had even planned to cultivate a field in front to be self-sufficient in food.

Yet, for some reason, these kids solved things much faster than I had anticipated.

Of course, there was still a lot to be done. Even if there were things left in other houses, they were not in a usable condition.

And there was nothing to eat.

“….”

Well, let’s see how far they can go.

After all, they’ll eventually want to go back, whining about it.

*

Even if it was just the task of sticking plastic on the walls, it took time to do it properly. And when I opened my eyes, the sky was already turning dark.

I looked around at the kids sitting in a circle, drawing a circle.

Hayoon didn’t come right next to me.

But she sat a little distance away, turning her body towards me.

Among the five girls, Hayoon was the only one with a decent expression. It didn’t seem forced. Hayoon… seemed to have a relieved expression as if she understood my situation.

So I didn’t know how to react to that expression.

I didn’t want to be happy. But it was also difficult to push her away. Over the long time I had spent with Hayoon, I had learned to read her expressions to some extent and had tried to cheer her up based on those expressions.

Whether it was instinct or conditioned reflex.

As my gaze kept turning towards her, I forcibly turned my head in the other direction.

The rest of the kids, of course, had less than favorable expressions.

They were just kids who had fought with me. If they had been close friends like Hayoon, there might have been other emotions to cloud the relationship, but for the other four, there was no such logic.

The only reason they were here was because Hayoon was here.

“So?”

I opened my mouth towards the other kids.

“What are you planning to do now?”

Trying to annoy them as much as possible.

“Why? What did you come here to do? Are you trying to make amends now that you’re here?”

The kids didn’t say anything in response to my words. Not even Hayoon.

But strangely, no one got angry at my words. When I looked at them with their eyes, I must have seemed like a villain. It was strange that even though a villain like me was saying such things, they just kept quiet and endured it.

“If you want to go back now, just say so. I’ll send you back to Seoul or somewhere else. There’s no reason for you to be here in the first place.”

I said it again.

But the kids only looked at Hayoon again.

“Or did you run away? Did you get tired of the Federation?”

I forced my head to turn towards Hayoon.

Her expression was a bit troubled.

I had achieved my goal, but I was not happy at all.

“Hayoon…”

“Now that you know the truth, what are you going to do?”

“Yeah.”

Perhaps not hearing my whining, Rose spoke instead.

“Sehee unnie.”

“Hayoon… You have to speak up now. You can’t just stay silent forever.”

Rose looked at me with a stiff expression, as if forcing her mouth to move, and said, “Yeah. The culprit of the terrorist incident… it’s not you, we know that.”

“Why? Did they catch the culprit now? Did they come out with evidence that I couldn’t deny that I’m not the culprit?”

No. That’s not it.

“You didn’t know from the beginning?”

Yes, that’s it.

That’s why I was so angry. That’s why I had to do this.

At least, I was not wrong about that.

I am not a murderer.

Whether I spent a few years in prison or not, the issue is not about the Youth Protection Act.

Due to that terrorist attack, someone definitely died. Too many people were injured.

But, at least.

As a combatant, I may have hurt others, fought against magical girls, and been indirectly involved in the company’s affairs, but at least.

At least I didn’t kill anyone.

“I was there. All of it.”

Just a while ago, I was filled with anger up to the tip of my head, but as I spoke, my head strangely cooled down and became rational.

Just like a circuit overload, could my emotions be overflowing too?

“…But no one said anything.”

In response to my words, Rose slightly bit her lip as if stung.

And she spoke as if squeezing out the words.

“We were going to say something too.”

“Even if that’s true, it’s too late.”

“I know.”

Rose replied.

“Do you know that?”

I asked, dumbfounded.

“Was it really necessary to follow the person hiding in the corner? You should have gone to the federal government and defended me. Or go to the media and give an interview. At least go to the orphanage and protect the children.”

I knew this was all just a way to cover up for the other person.

But still—

I couldn’t easily accept everything that had happened.

So many things happened in such a short moment.

I still don’t know if Ji-hye is okay. Because of me, Ji-hye was torn apart like that, and the media didn’t even care about what Ji-hye had to go through.

Instead, the broadcasting station that even searched the Wisdom School mentioned my name several times, asking, “Is she a criminal or a victim?”

“What do you want now? Did you think everything would be resolved smoothly if you followed me? Did you really think helping me would be like this?”

I said to Rose.

In reality, you also wanted to run away, right? You didn’t want to fight, you just wanted to run away because you didn’t want to do anything. If you said something, you would have been in a position to be criticized.”

If the magical girls testify, my situation could change.

But that’s unlikely.

If that had happened earlier, I wouldn’t have come this far.

“So—”

“…Jieun.”

As I tried to continue speaking, Hayoon opened her mouth.

“…It’s because of me.”

At her words, the children’s gazes turned to Hayoon. I did the same.

Hayoon was hugging her knees with a face that seemed like she could cry at any moment.

“It’s all because of me. If I had stood up…”

“…”

I felt suffocated looking at Hayoon’s expression.

“I, I… I thought I could help. I thought you could get a fair trial.”

“Is that so?”

Did she say that?

But she didn’t continue.

I felt suffocated. It was as frustrating as if my heart had stopped beating.

So, Hayoon was also thinking like that.

“I thought I could testify. So, I just…”

I was so scared that her words would continue, I stood up from my seat.

And with a thumping sound, I walked out.

The shoe soles were naturally covered in mud, and even on the vinyl the children had laid out, the mud from my shoes was still there.

But I didn’t care about that.

I opened the sliding door, wet the spread vinyl, and left.

I took in the cold night air several times. My fingertips were trembling.

Yes, I know.

Hayoon might have thought that way. Because she believes in justice. Because she’s a magical girl.

Because she’s a child who has never given up hope for humanity.

After receiving a fair trial, if Ha Yoon testified and I was acquitted, I would have been able to be free.

I placed my hand on my chest and took a few deep breaths.

Perhaps, no matter what I had done – if Ha Yoon had testified, it might have been okay. Maybe Ha Yoon would have come to me before things got serious and pulled me out.

If I had received help from Ha Yoon, maybe none of this would have happened from the beginning.

But still—

—Still, I don’t want that.

Because I want to be on equal footing.

No.

Actually— I want to be higher.

As is common in possession stories, I wanted to become an existence with everything, ultimately becoming the one who had everything.

So maybe I intended to use Ha Yoon—

Disgusting.

It felt like someone was whispering in my ear.

“Jieun.”

A voice came from behind.

I quickly turned around.

Ha Yoon was looking at me with a worried expression, but when our eyes met, her face turned pale.

I was holding my breath.

Ha Yoon took a step towards me, and I took a step back.

“J-Jieun. I’m sorry. I mean…”

Thud.

I sank to the floor.

My legs gave out.

“Jieun!?”

Ha Yoon rushed over and hugged me.

Supporting my back with her arm and lifting me up with her other hand.

Her embrace was warm. Just like when Ha Yoon hugged me from behind earlier.

That’s why it was scary.

That I had dragged Ha Yoon into this situation. That even in this situation, I still disliked Ha Yoon.

That I thought I was lucky to have Ha Yoon. I hated it all.

“…Let go.”

I forced out the words as I caught my breath.

“Jieun, I—”

“I said let go.”

I pushed Ha Yoon’s hand away forcefully.

And staggered to my feet.

I stared straight at Ha Yoon.

As if pushed by that gaze, Ha Yoon stepped back.

I forced my head to turn.

“I… said I would do anything.”

I took a deliberate step towards Ha Yoon.

Ha Yoon didn’t retreat.

Even with a slightly frightened expression, she didn’t back down and continued to look at me.

I took one more step.

“Then cooperate.”

Even if I had to get close.

Even if our faces were almost touching, and we could feel each other’s breath, Ha Yoon didn’t avoid me.

My heart was pounding.

“All of you.”

To hide that.

I spoke in a whisper, almost as a threat.

“I hope you cooperate when I seek revenge.”

“…”

Ha Yoon looked up at me.

A frightened expression.

As if she would crumble if touched,

Ha Yoon still didn’t back down.

That didn’t sit well with me.

It was a little scary.

“…Okay.”

Ha Yoon nodded.

“At least, as much as I can.”

“…”

The two of us stood there, staring at each other for a while.