episode_0059

Hot, humid summers and cool, cold winters.

Autumn in between is a capricious season.

So it’s not surprising that one autumn night, a sudden downpour of rain falls.

Swaaaah-

Before I knew it, the rain had gotten stronger and it was pouring down outside. It was a close call.

It had only been a short time since Vita and Carlyle had entered the cabin. If they had been any later, things would have been difficult.

“… It’s raining a lot.”

It’s so dark outside that you can’t even see.

Vita became worried.

“… Are we okay? Everyone must be worried.”

As I speak in a small voice, the lights come on and off and a response is heard from behind.

“It’s not that I’m not going. I just can’t go.”

Blink- Blink-

The search would probably have been called off by now. It wasn’t that heavy of a rain.

For a moment, Vita thought.

If, alone.

If only he were still outside.

‘If Carlyle hadn’t come…’

It’s dizzying just to think about it.

It’s definitely a relief that Carlyle is by my side.

With that thought in mind, Vita just turned around.

“Oh, wow… ”

He let out a sigh of admiration at the brightly lit fire.

“Uh, how…?!”

The lights are fully on.

“There is a way.”

Carlyle, leaning against the wall, wiped the sweat from his forehead and sighed. It was a small success after much trying.

“It seems like it was discharged because it hadn’t been used for too long. I brought it back in.”

“Oh, I see.”

Vita was really amazing.

“But how do you know…?”

“There is nothing I haven’t done before.”

Carlyle chuckles.

A man should do this much, with just that kind of expression.

Vita suddenly remembered the evaluation my mother gave me last time.

-Carlyle, that guy. He must have a lot of vitality!

That’s true indeed.

I feel it once again.

Perhaps I should learn from that aspect too. Yes, I am a man.

‘It would be good for any man to be good at many things…!’

Now, I feel much better. Vita is in a state where she can even make this kind of resolution.

Anyway, I was really glad.

“There’s a fireplace here too… ”

Carlyle is working hard on something again.

“But can I use it? Without separate permission… ”

“That’s what it says to do.”

As Carlyle calmly replied.

The two entered the cabin together and discovered the following facts.

[Emergency disaster shelter.]

Originally, this hut seemed to be here to protect hikers in case they get lost in the mountains.

There is also a notice explaining that fact on the door.

So there’s a fireplace and a mat to lie down on.

Of course, there was nothing else, really nothing, but the two people at the moment were just relieved.

***

Still, how lucky we are to have a fireplace.

Knock- knock-

In the meantime, Carlyle seemed to have dusted off the mat.

“Take off your clothes.”

“… ?”

Of course, Vita was embarrassed for a moment.

“Why, why…?”

It was a sudden feeling.

No, here? My body is completely wet too?

“… To think of something naughty.”

Carlyle chuckled and started taking off his clothes.

“Even if you want to, you can’t do it now.”

Of course, Vita refuted it.

“What, what the… nonsense.”

Soon, Carlyle came closer to Vita, chuckling, and gave her a light pat on the back.

bean-

Because I’m weak.

It’s not so strong that it’s like a sweetheart, but more like an expression of affection.

“No, condom.”

Vita understood in an instant.

Carlyle Schultz, that guy is really honest in a weird way.

“I need to dry my clothes too. And most of all… ”

As Vita watched quietly, she heard these words.

“The situation is not good. This place is like that, and you are a little hurt too.”

“… That, that’s right.”

Because I was the only one who made a mistake. Anyway, I was able to confirm that the other person had no special intentions. Vita’s face turned red.

Of course, in this situation, I don’t feel like doing that.

Honestly, recently.

Since I became increasingly confused about my own identity, I have been intentionally avoiding it.

Hwaaak-

Anyway, inside the narrow cabin, the stove slowly turns. The faint crimson light warmly illuminates the inside.

“Come here, Bianca.”

Carlyle gestures. He’s sitting on the mat. Luckily, it’s not that wet down there, so he’s still wearing underwear.

Vita thought for a moment. She felt embarrassed for some reason.

Now, again?

But it really is.

‘I guess I’ll take it all off…’

The underwear was a little damp, but it would probably dry quickly thanks to the stove. So, she decided to just hang up her outerwear, and after hesitating for a moment, Vita ended up taking off her yukata.

***

Knock- knock-

The stove was slowly burning. Carlyle carefully explored every part of Vita’s delicate body as she took off her clothes.

“What, what is it… ”

Vita felt embarrassed again and covered her body slightly, but the other person’s expression was more serious than she thought.

“Put your hands away.”

So in the end, Vita had no choice but to remove his hand.

“The raw fish is a little raw.”

His expression hardened slightly. He even sighed.

Fortunately, there was a medicine chest inside the cabin, but it contained nothing except one ointment.

Carlyle gently pulled her hand towards him, and Vita ended up lying down next to him.

“Ah, ah… ”

“It hurts, a lot… ?”

It feels really weird. It’s a rough, big hand gently applying ointment. It feels soft and gentle, unlike its size.

“Still, I guess I should be thankful that he wasn’t hurt too badly… ”

Carlyle continues to apply the ointment while saying so. He has also said this.

“Bianca, you. Why are girls so unruly?”

Vita pouts for no reason at those words.

“… It might not be a girl.”

“Ha, what…?”

Carlyle laughed for a moment as if he was dumbfounded. Then, as if he had applied all the ointment, he lay down on his side. A large hand was placed near Vita’s belly button. And so, Vita was quickly held in Carlyle’s arms.

An attitude of treating oneself with great delicacy and care, as if handling a fragile piece of glass.

“Are you warm, Bianca?”

This refers to the temperature of the stove.

Vita nodded.

Carlyle’s low voice is heard right in my ear, and I feel warmth on my back, so I cringe.

Even though we make contact like this, I don’t feel awkward. I’ve done more than that. Why do I get used to the other person’s touch?

So, Vita’s head is now resting on Carlyle Schultz’s chest, and she breathes comfortably.

Well, naturally.

For a while there was little conversation between the two.

“… I’m tired, something.”

“It can’t be helped.”

My body is also quite tired, and as expected, I look exhausted.

How much time has passed?

“… Bianca, you don’t know.”

In a low, hushed voice, Carlyle suddenly speaks.

After that, I strangely couldn’t continue speaking.

Indeed, Carlyle Schultz.

Just now, how much?

My heart sank.

I can’t explain how crazy I was.

I felt a sense of urgency that I couldn’t understand. When I came to my senses, my feet were already running.

It was a stroke of luck when I found Bianca Shamal.

‘…!’

The feeling of relief I felt in that moment was-

It was the most dramatic emotion in Carlyle’s short, and perhaps not so short, life.

I can’t explain it.

But first, I have something to tell you.

Even if there is a misunderstanding, it would definitely be better to clear it up.

So Carlyle said,

“Emily and Partner. It wasn’t my will.”

“Uh, huh… ?”

A sudden statement. Vita turned her head at the unexpected content.

There was not a single false note in Carlyle’s golden eyes. Soon, Carlyle confessed everything about Emily and her childhood friend.

Knowing about the two people’s past relationship and Emily’s feelings.

The absurd way in which he became a partner. Even the things Emily had been secretly telling him.

[Just look at it once.]

Even those words are true.

A room with soft lighting, with just the two of them present.

In the quiet atmosphere, Carlyle got to the point. He had said all this just for this reason.

“Emily is just a friend.”

A statement with a firm feel.

I feel dumbfounded by that conclusion.

“Now, do you understand?”

Vita’s face, for some reason, began to rapidly heat up.

“Why are you telling me that… ”

I felt a sense of relief for some inexplicable reason. But aside from that, I also didn’t know why Emily had done that to me.

But, something. For now, something feels reassuring.

“… I thought you were jealous?”

A remark suddenly made by Carlyle with a snicker.

Vita was very embarrassed.

“… What, what?”

“Jealousy, no?”

“What are you talking about all of a sudden… ”

Of course, Vita denied it. And they’ve been bickering ever since.

Jealousy, no. They are arguing.

“That’s not really true-!”

“Bounced again?”

“Don’t talk, you and me.”

Even in the midst of all this, the two of them are still stuck together. Vita is just hugging Carlyle’s arms.

Suddenly Vita realizes.

Isn’t that strange?

I always feel comfortable being with Carlyle. It’s not awkward, and the conversation is just enjoyable.

Is it because of the atmosphere in the cabin?

The cabin with the two people was quite quiet and dark. The once-burned light was flickering faintly, and there was the sound of rain outside.

Maybe it’s because today, my constant, strange feeling has surprisingly lifted.

Impulsively, Vita asked a strange question, as if to confirm something.

“Honestly… You too. Actually, you wanted to be partners with Emily too, right?”

I just wanted to ask for some reason.

A pretty and kind girl. It’s not for nothing that Vita has had a crush on her.

But, really. This is something I don’t understand.

Even though he asked playfully, her heart strangely fluttered. When Carlyle remained silent for a moment, Vita became even more so.

Thump- thump-

My heart is pounding.

The answer will come soon.

“No, not at all. I was you from the beginning.”

Vita was left speechless by the resolute answer.

It really shows sincerity, and I’m curious about something.

“That…um…”

Vita hesitated for a moment. Was she intoxicated by the atmosphere of the cabin?

The mood of this moment.

A faint crimson light fills the cramped cabin. The warmth of each other’s embrace.

The sound of raindrops outside feels like a pounding in my heart.

So, Vita ended up asking a strange question that she probably wouldn’t have asked normally.

***

“Why, you… ”

Why on earth are you me-

“You started liking me…?”

Because I suddenly became curious. Maybe, all along.

Why did Carlyle Schultz fall in love with himself? That’s what I was curious about.

If I think about it, I’ve never heard it properly.

Now, really. There isn’t much left.

The date when ‘Bianca Shamal’ turns back into a man.

“Tell me, why…?”

A low voice is heard.

After swallowing dry saliva.

Vita nodded, honestly curious.

“Hmm… ”

Carlyle looked thoughtful for a long time.

Then he spoke to Vita in a somewhat playful manner.

“I don’t know, me too.”

“What, what is it… ”

The Vita has lost its steam. It feels like my anticipation is fading.

Are you kidding me right now?

For some reason, Vita turned her head away and

“Okay, I got it.”

Carlyle chuckles and speaks again properly. His serious voice reaches Vita’s ear.

“When I said I didn’t know… I meant it.”

From Carlyle Schultz’s perspective, that’s the only truth.

There are so many reasons to love Bianca Shamal.

“Pretty, cute, and has a great body… ”

“The body is very sexy. And sensitive.”

“Ugh… What the… ”

Vita’s face turned red.

Even though it was my request. How dare you say it so openly.

The body is shrunken.

But still, I understand a little bit.

So, the current version of myself, Bianca Shamal, is definitely cute and pretty.

As expected, Carlyle was in love with his own looks.

“It’s not over yet.”

But it continues.

“She has a secretly soft personality. She has an affectionate side. Sometimes she can be straightforward and feminine.”

“Me, me…?!”

Vita was slightly embarrassed though.

“You’re good at cooking, aren’t you?”

“Well, well. That’s true.”

Carlyle’s words immediately gave off a sense of pride.

‘You know a little bit, kid…!’

I’m good at cooking, after all.

He also showed off his superior skills, and it is a fact that anyone with a tongue can realize.

“If we organize it comprehensively, we can say it like this.”

His voice is quiet. And he hugs my body from behind even tighter.

“That, that’s right… ?”

My heart is beating faster and faster.

So, definitely. Vita thinks.

‘If I were a woman…’

Even if she had originally been a woman.

If she really was a woman.

You may be shaken by Carlyle’s confession now.

Anyway, Carlyle Schultz isn’t a bad guy, and you can tell he likes you.

But then Carlyle continued talking. I thought it was over.

“These are the factors that make anyone like you.”

It wasn’t over yet. Carlyle Schultz’s confession.

Swish- thud-

Rain is hitting the window. Outside, a heavy downpour is falling.

The light from the scarlet fireplace dimly illuminates the interior.

And Vita is in a state of being hugged by the other person.

Carlyle’s voice is heard in Vita’s ears again.

“Look out that window.”

Vita looks out the dark window, embarrassed, as Carlyle tells her.

What the heck? What does this mean?

“… I can’t see anything.”

“Of course, of course.”

Carlyle laughed briefly.

“Just now, that is…before I found you in that dark forest… ”

That was his mind. It felt like he couldn’t see anything.

Did you have this much feelings for Bianca Shamal?

Enough to embarrass myself.

Maybe, even a long time ago, when I was in the orphanage, my mind was always like that.

Carlyle’s vision went black after hearing the news of Bianca’s distress earlier.

‘But now…’

Right now, with Bianca Shamal.

Something darker than the darkness outside that window. I feel like I can overcome it.

“I feel okay as long as you’re by my side.”

As if he really was something.

You can get through it. No matter what happens in your life, if you have Bianca Shamal, if you have the woman next to you.

Because that’s what I thought.

How did the other person become this important to him? Even Carlyle Schultz doesn’t know.

“So, I don’t know.”

Because there was no simple reason, no simple expression, that could explain why I fell in love with Bianca Shamal.

What makes you different from other girls?

I can’t explain it, but it’s so special.

It’s so special and precious that I feel overwhelmed even to be able to express my feelings in words.

Carlyle couldn’t continue speaking and just washed his face dry.

I honestly don’t know if this is the feeling I like.

First time, because it’s the first time.

But I definitely think it goes much deeper than just liking it.

Carlyle’s confession continues.

“When I’m with you. It’s always fun. My mind is at ease. It’s like a feeling of stability. That’s the kind of feeling I have.”

Vita was speechless.

“… … ”

I get it.

How does Carlyle Schultz see himself? See his bare face right now.

I didn’t know it would be this much.

It’s so heavy and serious. It takes my breath away.

But at the same time, Vita realizes something.

Being together is fun, and my mind feels at ease and at peace.

If only there was someone by my side.

I feel better after feeling like a mess all day.

I have no idea why. I just kept thinking it was a strange phenomenon.

But Vita Shamal wasn’t so stupid as to not realize it even after hearing the confession that the other person was making.

‘I, I…’

Perhaps the truth that he had been ignoring all along.

‘No, I…’

Finally, we come face to face with Vita Shamal.

But, I can’t. I can’t admit it. Because I’m originally a man.

This is ridiculous.

But still.

“… I love you, Bianca.”

“Ah… ”

In the end.

Carlyle Schultz’s confession finally brings down the wall.

The barriers that we have built up in our hearts and hindered our perceptions are finally crumbling.

‘I, this guy…’

I’m not sure, but it’s my first time seeing it.

Eventually, Vita ends up covering her face with her hands.

My face is so hot, it’s burning.

My breathing is strange. I can’t answer.

But the other person just held her still. Why was it? Suddenly, her heart started pounding a little.