episode_0058

“That concludes today’s lesson. Everyone, do not neglect preparing your assignments according to your chosen topics. That is all.”

It had been a failure.

The morning classes had proceeded smoothly, entirely without incident. True to my resolve to improve myself, neither the professors nor other students openly criticized or picked fights with me. No—to be precise, no one paid me any attention at all.

Every time I tried to approach Jim, he swiftly vanished from my sight after each class, making any meaningful conversation impossible.

Left with nothing to show for my efforts, I rose from my seat as lunchtime arrived, staggering weakly as I walked away.

Where should I go?

I decided to give up on talking to Jim today. The thought that my only social interaction today might be seeing everyone during Magical Sociology in the afternoon completely drained my energy.

In the end, clinging to a faint shred of hope, I began making my way to the cafeteria.

“Oppa!”

But before I had taken more than a few steps, I was abruptly intercepted by Chris.

“What?”

“You were going to eat in the cafeteria again, weren’t you?”

I nodded.

“Do you remember what I told you this morning?”

“Something about taking better care of myself?”

“And you seriously think it makes sense for someone like you to eat in a place like that? A place full of lost, inferior students you don’t even know?”

“That’s harsh. Aren’t you overreacting?”

The Chris I knew might have objected to me going to the cafeteria, but she wouldn’t have outright insulted the other students there. They had their own struggles, and she wasn’t oblivious to that.

“Of course I’m overreacting! The moment you stepped outside, you ran into that bastard… The bottom-feeders of this academy are far more dangerous than you think. If something were to happen to you—”

“What, are they connected to the underworld or something?”

“That’s—”

Chris started to speak but quickly glanced around and clicked her tongue lightly.

“Other students will be here soon. Let’s talk somewhere else. Everyone’s gathered already.”

“Somewhere else? I haven’t even had lunch yet!”

“No need to worry about that.”

With a flick of her finger through the air, Chris pulled a lunchbox from the void and handed it to me.

“What’s this?”

“‘What’s this’? I packed this lunch myself, and that’s all you have to say? That’s a bit harsh, don’t you think?”

“You expect me to carry this around and eat with you?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you insane?”

I immediately shoved her hand away.

“Do you really think it’s a good idea for you, of all people, to have lunch with me? The kind of attention you draw? I’d be lucky not to get torn apart by your fanatical guards!”

As I pondered whether I should throw Chris’s lunchbox like bait to distract them if things got dangerous, she spoke again.

“I can keep those fools under control.”

“You’d turn away an entire crowd of nobles just to have lunch with me? Think carefully.”

I handed the lunchbox back to her.

“Take it. I appreciate the thought, but the cafeteria’s food is enough for me. If I really wanna stay under the radar, I should keep my head down.”

Even if I were to regain my senses, suddenly acting like a typical student would be pushing it. If word got out that some nobody was suddenly mingling with elites—receiving private tutoring on top of that—

I’d be lucky if all that happened was assassination by a fellow student rather than the underworld or the Demon King’s army.

“B-But—”

“Hurry up.”

It was a waste of good food, but unless I took a firm stance now, Chris would keep trying to get closer. And then the conversation we had this morning would mean nothing.

“You… really aren’t planning to forgive me, are you?”

“I already forgave you. That’s why I’m even talking to you like this.”

I understand that they had no choice but to act as they did—which is why I’ll never trust them again. That should have been enough.

“Don’t lie. You’re not that kind of person.”

“Not that kind of person? What do you even know about me?”

Chris gave me a sorrowful look, then swiftly traced a magic circle in the air.

“Even after seeing this?”

There was no time.

Scoffing, I tackled her to the ground.

“Kgh?!”

My back scraped against the hard floor, but I barely registered the pain. The magic circle Chris had conjured hovered ominously in the air, swelling and shrinking rhythmically. Bracing for the impending explosion—

“Pfft. Look at you.”

With a derisive laugh, Chris casually dismissed the spell. What I had assumed to be an explosive magic fizzled into nothingness.

“What the—?! You—!”

“What kind of idiot throws himself into danger to save someone when he can’t even protect himself?! What do I know, you ask?”

Chris wriggled out of my grasp.

“That settles it. You really are a fool who doesn’t hesitate to throw himself into trouble for others, even when you’ve got no power to back it up.”

As she spoke, she summoned the same magic circle above her palm.

“Take a closer look. It’s a little different from what you know, right?”

True to her words, the magic circle had extra, intricate lines drawn over what I recognized as standard spells.

“You—!”

“Do what you want with the lunchbox. But if you keep acting like this… I won’t be able to stay as just an outsider forever.”

“What?”

Without responding, Chris shimmered and vanished before my eyes.

“Chris? Chris!”

No reply came. Sensing her mana dissipate completely, I knew she had already left.

Staring blankly at the lunchbox in my hands, I eventually opened its lid.

Inside lay glossy stir-fried meat and neatly arranged vegetables—a lunchbox fit for royalty. Frankly, who would refuse if Chris herself handed it to them?

She was Christine Gravec, revered by all, stronger and wiser than any of them.

How much simpler things would’ve been if I were still one of those who admired her.

“Haah…”

No one else had arrived yet.

Now was my only chance.

Crunch.

I shut my eyes tightly and dumped the entire lunchbox into the trash. The carefully arranged food instantly melded with the rest of the garbage, forming a soggy, revolting lump.

Yet I pushed deeper, forcing my hand further into the mess. If I didn’t, I’d never forgive myself.

“Piece of shit…”

Muttering curses at myself, I headed to the bathroom. If someone asked why I did it, I could answer clearly: because I wouldn’t be able to control myself otherwise.

But if asked whether it was the right thing to do… I wouldn’t have an answer.

The moment I accepted Chris’s lunch, I realized:

I can’t shake them off.

And they won’t forget me.

And so, in the end, we’ll only become each other’s weaknesses. I’ll recklessly throw myself into danger for them, and in doing so, I’ll become the shackles that restrain them.

It’s embarrassing to admit, but unlike in the past world, I now hold enough value as a hostage.

Just imagining myself captured by the Demon King’s forces or anti-hero factions made my head spin.

The image of the hero party abandoning their duties, surrendering, or worse—all to save me—came to mind far too easily.

Even if we somehow survived such a crisis, what would happen to me afterward was obvious. As Chris said, minimum would be confinement—worst case, being coddled and monitored by everyone.

Shuddering at the horrifying future, I reminded myself: I didn’t go through all that just to see that.

Even if their radiant mission takes precedence, I must stay cold. For my own compensation, for the lost future I seek.

What I said to Chris at the mansion was merely part of the act—forging a new mask: that of Eric Gravec, calm and composed.

Inhale… exhale…

As I steadied my breathing, students began trickling past. Good thing I got rid of it earlier.

Had someone caught me tossing Chris’s lunchbox, word would’ve inevitably reached her.

The fallen noble trash who threw away a lovingly prepared meal—what a perfect rumor to spread.

And then Chris would cling to me even harder.

Love me or hate me, she’s still my little sister. I know exactly how she thinks. She’d see through my forced villain act in seconds.

So I alone need to pull away.

As long as I keep my distance…

“What do you wanna eat?”

“Dunno. I’m still thinking—any good spots?”

“Oh! If you’re up for it, there’s this place I know—”

“How about this today?”

“Sorry, my stomach’s acting up. Can’t handle anything spicy right now…”

By now, clusters of students chatted animatedly amongst themselves. Standing amidst them, I absently rubbed my empty stomach.

Growl.

I stared silently at the trash bin.

…Maybe this was taking it too far?