episode_0057

I looked at him, his body shrouded in darkness, with a heavy heart.

Rahilt. Born with cursed blood running through his veins, forced into a life manipulated by malice.

I hope you find happiness. With that wish in mind, I took the seat next to you, without even asking for your opinion.

Will you be unhappy?

To you, I am not the best but the second best. Or perhaps even lower.

If you had lived your life forming relationships with others, this outcome might not have come to pass. Instead of being a princess, a position as tempting as a delicious rice cake, if you were just a common lower noblewoman, your life might have been more peaceful.

Such thoughts make my heart ache. It feels like my desires are causing unnecessary pain to Rahilt.

“Sigh…”

Rahilt let out a labored breath. His appearance was unfamiliar, yet not entirely surprising.

Despite possessing immense power, Rahilt is still human. A special human imbued with the power of a dragon. That’s all he is.

He engaged in a fierce battle, unleashing a great disaster. As his father mentioned in the past, Rahilt is far from invincible.

In the end, he is just a human who will collapse under pressure. It’s just that his limit is so high that it seems unreachable.

Swoosh.

Black clouds emerged.

As if seen multiple times during battle, the clouds formed a sword that suited Rahilt perfectly.

And as tension rose once again.

Crack!

The black clouds scattered in all directions.

“Ah…!”

It wasn’t a miss.

It was clearly due to his weakening strength.

Just like a person lacking strength falling from a bar, it was evident that his power had reached its limit. And Rahilt’s bewildered finger movements further solidified my conviction.

I didn’t miss that opportunity.

“Haahh!”

I threw a punch as best as I could. Perhaps due to being struck by lightning, my legs felt stiff. I couldn’t move properly at that moment.

And just as Rahilt was about to counter and use his martial arts.

Thud!

His elbow stopped just before reaching me. Benefiting from this inexplicable phenomenon, I struck him firmly.

Crash!

“Ha…!”

Observing Rahilt, surrounded by a cloud of dust from the opposite wall, I wiped my dry sweat.

“He… lost his strength.”

I couldn’t bring myself to deliver a heavy blow to him in his weakened state. It felt too audacious to approach him so persistently, tempting and overpowering him with strength like turning over a palm.

I understood it was excessive.

I had to act nonetheless. If Rahilt were to regain his strength, it would be a mistake to absolve him of his sins.

I had never felt such a stark difference between reason and emotion. It felt like my mind was going haywire.

Nevertheless, I had to act. If I had to do it, then I had to do it. It was a duty that only I could fulfill.

Swish!

With trembling legs, I planted my feet on the ground. The cold wind brushed against my cheek. I leaped towards Rahilt, who had just emerged from the dust cloud.

“Ugh…!”

I forced my legs to lift. To finish it decisively, I had to use my feet. A technique as challenging as a backflip was out of reach, but a simple kick had enough force behind it.

Rahilt calmly prepared to respond.

Like a predator aiming for its prey, Rahilt lowered his stance. And then he charged straight at me.

He was agile.

His speed was so astonishing that it was difficult to react in time. It was absurd to realize that he still had this much energy left.

“Ah…”

As Rahilt attempted to strike.

Thud!

Once again, Lahilt’s body froze as if in shock. And the result was the permission for a merciless kick to send me flying.

Kugugugu…!

“Lian!?

Without thinking, I reached out my hand. Lahilt’s unbelievable actions left me with no other choice.

“Why…”

I was too shocked to even consider chasing after him. It was impossible to understand why Lahilt had stopped his attack.

Is there no survival instinct? It’s hard to believe.

It almost seems like Lahilt’s true nature is coming out.

As I pondered this, I came to one conclusion.

‘…Could it be.’

I recalled the battles that had taken place since reuniting with Lahilt. At the time, the urgency and threat of the situation had prevented me from thinking it was strange, but looking back, there was a sense of unease.

Despite taking numerous blows, Lahilt had never directly attacked. He only used his powers to launch attacks, never once striking directly. Surely, it would be much more threatening if he attacked himself.

‘Is it instinct…?’

Perhaps it’s evidence that buried in the darkness of the past and consumed by madness, he is desperately resisting internally.

I clenched my fist.

Even if it was just a guess, it didn’t matter. It was frustrating that everyone was risking their fate while I couldn’t bring myself to risk mine.

So I charged.

I forcefully planted my foot on Lahilt, who was trying to get up.

“Liaaaaan!!!”

And so, I embraced Lahilt tightly.

“Haa… Haa… Haa…”

I gasped for breath. I was exhausted from using all my courage.

The result of my courage was a success. Lahilt and I ended up tangled on the ground.

I held onto his hands. I straddled his waist, bearing his weight.

Lahilt didn’t resist.

Or rather, he seemed to be desperately controlling his urge to resist.

It was clear he was struggling pointlessly.

“Lian… Lian… Lian…!”

I didn’t know what to say. After all the trials and tribulations, finally reaching you, I had no idea what to do next.

As I looked into Lahilt’s blue eyes, filled with sadness and hatred, the words I wanted to say vanished from my mind.

I fell into deep contemplation.

How to convey any story to reach your ears. Not knowing at all, I was overwhelmed with self-doubt.

After considering various options, I came to a conclusion.

“I can’t… do anything. Lian.”

Am I a fool? Why am I saying this? It’s not mocking.

“Of course, that’s right. If we’re this close, whether it’s a lightning strike or a weapon thrust, Lian will also be hurt…”

That’s not it.

I needed to find words that could reach his heart.

“…I’m sorry.”

With that, I awkwardly turned my words into an apology.

“Being alone like this, I can only show my true feelings when Lian is in a confused state. I feel pathetic too.”

Yes, let’s begin.

The confession of our story.

“This is a truly unbelievable story… Please don’t laugh at me if you believe it.”

I bit my lip and finally spoke.

“I met Lian in a distant past. In a world where I was called Serin, not Seriniel, the name you always called me… I first saw Lian.”

The fragments of the past, once pieced together, created a complete work of art. It’s time to forget, but the memories of those happy days continued to linger around me.

“ . What a blunt title for a novel. Honestly, it was disgustingly boring. The female lead was that witch, Lashera, the male lead was none other than you, and the villainess was me. What a crappy novel full of nonsense…”

“…”

“Still, I kept reading. Despite my doubts, my favorite character was you, who was just a few lines of an extra in the previous work. And now you appear as the male lead in the sequel. How could I not be excited about that?”

“…”

“But it felt so bitter. You, who deserved more love than anyone else, chasing after an unworthy woman and deteriorating was just pitiful to watch. Seriously, are you a fool? Why, why, why did you do that? If only I had doubted a little more… No, maybe not. If I had doubted, would it have brought about the end of the world? I just wish you had broken free and lived happily…”

“…”

“So every time I watched, I always hoped that Lian would be happy. Even that day. An alert came to me, saying it was the joy of my life to see you once a day. I tried to enjoy happiness by playing some soothing music, but then the world turned upside down. That was my last moment.”

The memories are still vivid. The truck loaded with cargo, the pedestrian shouting to avoid it. And even the sight of the drunken driver as I flew through the air, all of it.

It was so unfair that tears flowed.

After successfully finishing my exams, I thought I could finally enjoy campus life… Try club activities like everyone else, enjoy dating, and figure out life…

… Only to lose it all in an instant.

“But when I realized that the life I gained afterwards was a world with you in it, it felt like fate. Maybe I was reborn to make my favorite character happy, and I even had some fluttering thoughts. By the way, those fluttering thoughts are in the present tense.”

I never knew that those fluttering thoughts would bear fruit 19 years later. The passing years felt like a waste, as I stomped my feet on the ground in frustration.

“But looking back, I wonder if it was all just pointless fluttering. If only I had quietly buried that witch Lashera and let Lian live her own life, none of this would have happened. It’s all because of my selfish desires… my shameful desires…”

Plop.

Plop.

Droplets fell.

They weren’t cold raindrops, but warm tears. A mixture of self-blame and self-loathing, tears streamed down my cheeks and landed on Rahel’s mask.

Can I convey this? Can I dare to speak out? I hope Rahel doesn’t resent me, even if he knows everything. Because I fear Rahel hating me as much as he is sad.

This is my first time conveying such deep and precious feelings. Even though I hesitated to speak out of fear of rejection.

Yet, my heart swelled so much that it burst through the fear and poured out.

“I love you. I, I love Lian very much. I have loved Lian even before meeting her. More than you can imagine.”

Now, it’s hard to imagine a life without Rahel by my side. From the moment I met you after drinking the poison developed by Lashera’s family and being kidnapped. Yes, from that moment, it was clear that I had to bring you into my world.

“It’s strange, isn’t it? Honestly, how much did we see if we saw each other? We only spent a few months together, but is it normal to feel this way? Even though Lian is kind and wouldn’t ask such questions, deep down, she might be struggling with these thoughts. I know I feel embarrassed and ashamed…”

Somehow, my strength left me. Overwhelmed by a sense of exhaustion, I collapsed into Rahilt’s arms.

“Sigh… I’m glad Lian isn’t in her right mind. If she were sober, she would never have said those things. Just because of that, I’m so exhausted…”

Now, I don’t know anything anymore. My body won’t move. The best I can do is to shield Rahilt by overlapping our bodies to prevent his resistance.

But even that small role was short-lived. The moment our body temperatures merged, it signaled the end.

Whoosh!

A storm raged. The clouds that had been overturning the sky were sucked into an unknown space and disappeared. It was clear that Narin had prevented the disaster caused by Rahilt.

“Ugh…!?”

The world turned upside down. The turbulent clouds that supported the main building disappeared. The next events were crystal clear.

The windows of the overturned main building. Rahilt was thrown out through them. If my intuition was correct, his consciousness was flying away. It was likely related to the complete disappearance of the clouds he controlled.

At that moment, a dark energy emanated from Rahilt’s whole body.

Dark magic.

Originally, the clouds Rahilt had summoned took on the form of a dragon and expelled dark magic. It was Rahilt’s weakened inner self that expelled the dark magic under the influence of his mother.

It was over.

Now, if I can properly save Rahilt, it will be a happy ending. Even if memories of the future that had occurred remained, we would be able to overcome them. Because he is my one and only male lead.

Without any regrets, I abandoned the main building and fell into the sky. And I accelerated by lying in the direction Rahilt was falling. The cold air created a massive air resistance as it frictioned.

I have to reach him. Rahilt.

I reach out my hand. And somehow, I grab him.

… I have to grab him.

My consciousness blurs. The journey that crossed the limits several times messes with my mind and blinds my eyes.

‘… Ah. This… shouldn’t be like this…’

In the center of the world, under the brilliant sunlight shining down, my body pierced through the clouds and fell relentlessly.

The ground is clearly visible.

From the ruined palace to the people who had just woken up from a long sleep and were bustling around, everything was vividly imprinted.

Without being able to keep them in sight until the end, I closed my eyes softly.

“Oppaaaaaa!!!”

I heard that child’s voice.

Even in my dream, my longed-for happiness cried out pitifully.

Now, the girl’s voice that clung to me in the irretrievable past clearly awakened my consciousness that had sunk.

I feel it. The wind, the cold air, the sense of vertigo, and the precious warmth floating on my body.

I roll my eyes. Moving my gaze up, down, left, and right, I search for the owner of the warmth. And in the collision of two conflicting memories, I found her firmly positioned.

“Sereniel…”

No, it’s not. That name, but not that name. She had a different name. The name she first taught me was clearly part of her. She was an enemy. But not an enemy. It’s still confusing, but there’s no doubt. She was a part of the happiness she unhesitatingly brought to me. Therefore, as she fell unconscious, I shouted her name with determination.

“…… Serin!!!”

The ground was rapidly approaching. I had to grab her hand.

I will never let it slip away again. The experience of happiness slipping through my fingers like fine grains of sand is too much to bear even once. I have always sworn that I will never let go of happiness that takes shape right within my reach.

And now is the time to keep that promise.

I reach out my hand. The physical distance between us does not narrow. My mind is spinning. As the assumption of losing Serin becomes clearer, my heart twists cruelly.

Please, please, let me reach it.

I hope to be allowed to keep the connection that must not be lost.

“Anyone… please…!”

As if in response to my plea, a familiar voice calmly echoed.

[It seems like a breakup. Even from the past.]

A gentle breeze blew. A strong wind pushed me closer to Serin. Saved by the inexplicable breeze, I corrected the scattered fate.

Thud!

Finally, our hands met. And the distance between us and the ground reached its limit.

I tried to absorb the impact using my powers, but it was in vain. The gathered dark clouds briefly maintained their form before disintegrating in the air.

No. This cannot be. It cannot all end like this.

[This child, Wan, requires a lot of effort.]

Someone said, giving a sting. And at that moment, the scattered powers formed into the shape of a dragon and extended its long tail.

Serin and I fell down with the dragon’s tail, landing on the ground just before crashing.

Feeling the loss of levitation, I breathed heavily.

“Ha… ha…”

I embraced Serin, whom I had narrowly saved. Despite the confusion in my memory, she looked beautiful. I wasn’t sure about much, but one thing was clear. I needed to make sure Serin was safe.

“Serin, are you okay? Wake up. Serin…!”

“…”

“Please. Open your eyes…!”

“Ugh…”

In response to my call, Serin groaned.

Finally, she blinked her half-closed wolf eyes, as if proving her usual strength.

“Wow… Is this a dream? Am I standing on the ground with Lian?”

“… It’s not a dream.”

“So, Lian has returned to his senses?”

“I don’t understand English, but… for now, I am in my right mind.”

“Oh… you don’t remember.”

Somehow, Serin’s face seemed slightly fierce. But the eyes that mixed fierceness and relief created a discord.

“It’s really frustrating not to remember… I should at least get a corresponding reward for this suffering. But if I try to say something, Lian can’t stand it and interrupts me. Anyway, it’s really bad. But if you misunderstand this… I’m not trying to gaslight, it’s just so sad and regretful that I can’t even get a small reward after all this suffering…”

As Serin continued to speak sharply, her eyes suddenly widened. Her lips trembled, and her hands came together over her mouth as she let out a low gasp.

Thud.

I dropped the useless mask on the grass. Feeling the refreshing outdoor air, I closed and opened my eyes. Meanwhile, Serin never took her eyes off me, as if she were watching a well-crafted play.

“Today… is it some kind of national holiday that I don’t know about? I feel like I’m going to burst into flames.”

Her first comment after enduring a long silence was this observation. Feeling embarrassed, I buried my face in the grass.

The scent of grass filled the air. It was hard to distinguish whether it was the fragrance of well-kept grass or that of Serin.

What mattered most was the sight of Serin, exuding the scent of grass, with a gaze that seemed to have turned into a wolf, making the situation dire.

“…Wow, I really regret this a lot. If this was going to happen, it might have been better if no one knew. Just walking down the street gets me involved in a drama, and I might get tangled up in it too.”

“I don’t understand the meaning…”

“You don’t have to know. No, it’s better if you never know. It’s better not to even think about it.”

“How can biting your lip be a form of art? Ugh…”

It was awkward. I was worried about how to fix the broken Serin and bring her back to her original self.

Or was it? Was Serin always like this? Maybe I’m just confused because the Serin I know and the Serini I knew don’t seem to overlap easily.

“Sigh… Lian.”

“Yes, Serin.”

“Please let me down now.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Actually, I want to ask the opposite. Are you okay? There seems to be someone you miss more than me…”

“Serin…?”

That’s when it happened.

Just as Serin had promised, a piece of happiness that I had desperately longed for came running towards me.

That piece was a girl who shamelessly wiped her tears and snot on her face.

The girl who I had pierced through the abdomen and rummaged through her stomach. My one and only little sister moved her chubby legs vigorously.

“Oppaaaa! Waaahhh…”

“Estelle…?”

“Oppa, where did you go… I was so scared… people were collapsing, everything was eerie… and you disappeared…”

“…I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Estelle.”

“Waaah… I’m so scared…”

“Estelle, I was wrong.”

Yes, I had done many wrongs to Estelle. Whether it was memories of the disappeared world or memories of the world I was living in now…

“Are you reflecting?”

“Yes.”

“Then grant my wish.”

“Tell me anything.”

I was ready to fulfill any request, even if it meant licking shoes. But to me, Estelle was like a huge trial that had descended upon me.

“If you fall, I want ten candies a day from now on.”

“…”

“Lian?”

“…”

“…Nine candies.”

“…”

“…Eight candies.”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“Waaah! I hate you, oppa! Jitsa Habjiga is better! Waaah…”

“Estelle…!?”

“Phew, hahaha!”

“Don’t laugh, Serin…!!!”

“No, really, how can people change like this… sigh…”

Why are the people around me so good at putting me in difficult situations?

With a disappointed heart, I gazed endlessly at the blue sky.

After the rain, the warm sunlight poured down from the clear sky.

The sky, devoid of the colors of sorrow, felt strangely unfamiliar and welcoming.

Unknowingly, I found myself smiling.