episode_0055

17. Towards Nodeul Island (2)

I feel like I’ve been giving in to my emotions more lately. I don’t know if it’s because I’m a woman or if it’s for another reason.

But I do know this one thing. Right now, I’m stuck in a swamp of emotional behavior that I can’t get out of…

” So you said Charlotte? You didn’t like us being stuck to Hyunseok like that? ”

” Sister~ Didn’t you see? The look in your eyes as you watched us stick together was already cold? ”

So I was stuck between Elina and Chae Min-hee, sitting there, unable to move.

I was quietly lowering my head and not saying anything, so Chae Min-hee poked my cheek with her index finger and said,

” Charlotte, do you think we’ll back off if you keep doing that? Say something quickly~ ”

” Well… I’m not sure… what you want… ”

” The spirits say you already know the answer. ”

” Isn’t that the spirit’s misunderstanding… ”

While I was being held by these two like this, Yeonseo was just taking pictures, saying it was fun… and Hyunseok was… setting up a tent.

In fact, it was just past noon when we arrived at the National Assembly building, but after meeting these two and talking about this and that, the hot afternoon glow gradually faded away.

The night was approaching, and a wind was blowing that would cool the asphalt that was radiating heat from the ground.

” Minhee, since we finally met like this, go with Yeonseo. I’ll be with Charlotte. ”

” What? Are you going to slack off again? I came here because of you in the first place! ”

After listening to their conversation, it seemed like they were here for some business.

” Did you two… have business here? ”

When I raised my head slightly between the two of them and asked, Elina answered my question while patting my head.

” Yeah, you said you heard me on the radio, right? ”

” Yes, that… I always enjoy listening to it. ”

” Thank you~ Anyway, these days, the equipment on our Nodeul Island is a bit lacking or outdated. No matter how much you repair it, you still need parts or other replacements, right? ”

” So, my sister and I are trying to get some equipment from the broadcast facilities here at the National Assembly building. ”

” But isn’t this place a bit far from Nodeul Island? ”

I know why they came here, but since it’s quite far from Nodeul Island, I asked them if there was another reason, and they both answered with a smile.

” Indeed, you’re quite sharp to ask such a question? ”

” Really? I thought you were just cute and gentle. Oh! Of course, judging from the way you acted out of jealousy earlier, it doesn’t seem to be like that… ”

” Okay… Wait a minute… That was just now…! ”

As I was struggling and waving my hands around trying to make excuses, Ms. Elina hugged me from behind and placed her chin on top of my head.

” Calm down. I’m just kidding. Hmm, to answer Charlotte’s question, yes. You didn’t have to come here like Charlotte thought. ”

” Then why…? ”

” Minhee and I are currently on a scout mission around Noddle Island. That’s why we came here after hearing that the group of harpies that were here disappeared. That’s the second reason. ”

” Yes, as my sister said, the broadcasting equipment is also the purpose, but the original purpose was to confirm that the Harpy flock had disappeared. Nodeul Island is also a place for sailors and we were in contact with each other quite a bit.

I couldn’t contact you because of the harpy horde. And then I got a call from Yeonseo after the communication function was unlocked. ”

When I heard that Yeonseo had contacted me, I opened my eyes wide and looked at Chae Min-hee.

” Yeonseo… contacted you? ”

” Yeah, you were quite the brag, weren’t you? Thanks to the friend you met and became close with, you and Hyunseok were able to break through the top together. ”

At those words, Yeonseo, who was organizing the photos she had taken with her Polaroid camera, was so shocked that she dropped the photos she was holding and started making excuses.

” Hey… wait a minute, Minhee! Keep that a secret…! ”

” Huh~ Well? I asked you to do it. I never said I would~ ”

” Hey, you… squint-eyed…! ”

” Hey. What did you just say?! ”

So Yeonseo and Chae Minhee started bickering with each other and moved to a different place, and Elina and I watched them.

But while we were watching like that, suddenly we saw what looked like spirits circling around us and soon a thin film appeared.

” Ms. Elina? ”

” Oh, don’t worry. I just created a barrier to keep our conversation from being heard outside. ”

I was a little nervous about that. What on earth was she trying to say by creating this barrier?

‘Come to think of it, you said you wanted to talk to me earlier. Why on earth…?’

” Story? ”

” First of all, don’t be surprised and listen. Do you understand? ”

Her voice, which had been leisurely and relaxed, suddenly became cold, and I nodded my head, becoming even more nervous at the rapid change.

” Charlotte, you were originally a man too, right? ”

She knew my secret… that I couldn’t let out.

*****

My head went blank for a moment. I absolutely must not be caught…

‘Is that really so? No. What on earth are you thinking?’

Since it was a secret that couldn’t be known to others, I kept racking my brain about what to do.

‘Should I just tell the truth? No, rather, how can I know? If Hyunseok and Yeonseo find out about this… I…! ‘

As I was fidgeting alone, curling up and shaking from my shoulders to my arms, hands and feet, Ms. Elina got off of me and came over to me, grabbing my shoulders.

He opened his mouth and looked at my face.

” Calm down. I don’t really have any plans on doing this. ”

” That… That… Still… How on earth…! ”

” Spirits may be invisible to you, but they are always there. That’s one of the reasons I’m in charge of reconnaissance. ”

” That’s not what I want to know! Why me…! ”

” Calm down. I told you. I don’t really plan on doing anything with this. It’s just that this is the first time I’ve seen someone like me. ”

” Huh?! ”

After hearing Ms. Elina’s words, I felt like I had been hit in the head again and it hurt.

‘What do you mean? Someone like me…? Oh! So… you said [you too]…? ‘

As I understood the meaning behind her words, my tense and trembling body slowly returned to normal, and I looked at her and asked.

” That means… Ms. Elina was originally… ”

” Yeah, I was originally a guy. Well, I don’t even remember now since I’ve been an elf for over 200 years after crossing over to another world. And now I’ve just accepted that I’m a girl. ”

” Is that so? I don’t remember much from when I was a man, even though it’s only been about 20 years. ”

” Really? That’s a little strange. No matter how hard things are, memories just disappear like that… No, sorry. ”

” Yes? What is that… Haa, no, let’s skip the memory part. So why are you suddenly asking if I was a guy? ”

” Oh, it’s nothing. As I said, it’s my first time seeing someone like me since I came back, so I’m curious, and ha! I guess I’m getting older. The conversation keeps going off on different topics. ”

She scratched her head vigorously, as if she was annoyed that the story wasn’t going the way she had expected, and then opened her mouth to me with a serious expression.

” Charlotte, do you think of yourself as a ‘woman’? Or do you still think of yourself as a ‘man’? ”

Ms. Elina, her question might be a sore spot for those of us who have changed genders.

The original gender you were, and the gender you changed to. The question is, which one did you choose?

It’s like asking which one you choose between your past self, your present self, and your future self.

” That’s… why are you suddenly asking? Well, I… of course… a man…! ”

” Really? Then why are you so obsessed with Hyunseok? ”

Suddenly, when Hyunseok’s name came up, my heart started racing and soon after, it sank.

” Well… it’s not that much of an obsession. ”

” Lie. ”

” No!!!!! ”

Why on earth are you talking to me like that? Even though we’re the same, just with our genders reversed, why on earth!? You don’t even know me!

” Hmm, okay, you haven’t chosen correctly yet. ”

” I told you… that the choice was already made… ”

” You’re a guy? But you already act like a ‘girl in love’? ”

” That’s… not… right. ”

Yeonseo, Ara, Haneul, Elina, why on earth are you doing this to me?! Why?!

Why does everyone say that I… like Hyunseok? I just… just…!

So I got up from my seat, bit my lower lip so hard that it bled and my fists clenched so much that they were shaking. Ms. Elina took a handkerchief out of her pocket.

After wiping my bleeding lips, he placed both of my hands in his own, then knelt down and looked at me.

” Why does everyone say that to me? I just… just…! ”

” Sorry, I guess I pushed you a little too hard. Let’s just pretend we never talked about that. ”

” Phew… Okay, let’s do that. ”

As the curtain surrounding us disappeared, I just threw my hand away and ran away.

It didn’t matter where I ran.

I just wanted to stay far away and be alone.

‘I don’t know, I don’t know. Why do I have to keep hearing that from other people!’

The night was deepening and darkness was creeping in, and at the same time, a sour taste was rising in my heart, a burnt-out feeling that was lingering.

At that time, I didn’t know if this was just a passing feeling or if it would consume me and lead me into a deep abyss.

*****

Deep in the mountains, the voices of many people can be heard.

The sound of praying or leaving a curse toward something

But what was in front of them was the same.

A tall, pointed tower.

Looking at those people, the man holding the ‘staff carved in the shape of a tower’ soon started to ‘shudder’ and opened his mouth.

” Hahaha! Finally… Finally, the ‘seed’ has been planted! ”

At those words, the man in the gray robe surrounding him asked him.

” Pastor, what is a seed? ”

” Ah, it seems the ‘Saint’ has retrieved the seed that was planted in the outlaw who was the test subject. And finally, it has eaten away at her feelings of wealth and taken up residence in her body. ”

” Indeed, if that seed grows in the future…! ”

” Yes, you will be transformed into a saint for our god. Alright. Very good! ”

” Haha, this time, the ‘pill’ we made, even the lawless trash and the ignorant guys in the settlement who only care about their own safety without thinking of others, eventually showed interest one by one. ”

” Yes. Today is truly the best day ever, with the seed of the evil god Thanatos being planted in the saintess! ”

The leader of the cult and his followers say that the group of outlaws led by Han Jin-oh was just one of the experiments.

Their hands had already penetrated deeply into places that Charlotte and her party were unaware of.