episode_0054
by fnovelpia
54. Seligman, 24 Dogs
I clutched my head in despair.
Why?
Because I had arrogantly boasted to Alice, who was despairing over having to do everything alone, to just trust me—and now I’d failed spectacularly.
The Roman concrete plan was completely ruined because we couldn’t procure volcanic ash.
No, this plan was flawed from the very beginning.
After sending Brook and Aetree home for the day,
I tapped my pencil against the papers spread across the workshop table.
“Damn it… I was such an idiot. Why was I so blindly optimistic?”
As I carefully reviewed and organized my notes on Roman concrete, I realized the plan had been doomed from the start.
First, while Roman concrete is indeed an incredible material with outstanding properties… it has significant drawbacks.
1. Roman concrete has high compressive strength but is extremely weak against tension.
In other words, it can withstand heavy loads pressing down, like in high-rise buildings, but is vulnerable to bending forces.
This could be mitigated with steel reinforcement, but Roman concrete is heavier than modern concrete, making it more prone to cracking.
And if used for something like a high-rise apartment rather than a dome or Colosseum-style structure, it would bend and shatter even more easily.
2. The curing time is excessively long.
Unlike modern concrete, it takes months to fully set.
This means it’s incompatible with apartment construction, which requires rapid pouring and setting, unlike the slow, layered approach used for domes or amphitheaters.
If I’d gone ahead without realizing this, the whole thing would’ve collapsed in an instant…
3. Sourcing materials is difficult, and maintaining consistent quality is nearly impossible.
For a residential space housing hundreds, cutting corners is absolutely unacceptable.
But with something like concrete, ensuring uniform quality is a challenge.
I can analyze material composition with my appraisal skills, but what about everyone else?
If regular volcanic ash—not pozzolana—got mixed into the materials…
The apartment would collapse within months.
“Aaaah… You Min-jae, you stupid bastard…!!!”
For the first time in ages, I cursed my own name and my foolish brain.
“Did I really think I was some kind of genius just because I made a few things? God, you absolute moron!”
I banged my head against the table, berating myself.
Anger at myself for disappointing Erica.
Disgust at the arrogance of thinking myself superior to others, like some kind of Superman living among humans.
And the chilling realization that hundreds of people could have died because of my careless planning.
In this world, every word I say and every invention I create carries immense consequences.
That’s why, after being hired as Erica’s technical researcher, I’d been constantly cautious.
I spent a month agonizing over how to properly measure thermoelectric modules to prevent accidents.
I researched and calculated endlessly to ensure the airship wouldn’t crash, right up until the Penrose War reached its worst point.
But now?
Flattered by people calling me a “heaven-sent genius,” I started acting like I was something special.
Pretty women gilding my face went to my head, and I strutted around like some genius among idiots.
Filled with confidence and arrogance, I spouted off without proper research or consideration.
The result? If I’d been lucky enough to procure pozzolana or volcanic ash…
Hundreds could have died.
Looking back, it’s pathetic.
I slammed my head against the table again and groaned.
“God, you stupid bastard…….”
My grad school personality was resurfacing.
Back then, I was always on edge, snarling at everything.
A sensitive mess, crying when compared to real geniuses, ready to bite if I felt attacked.
“Bulgwangbulgeup” (不狂不及) — If you’re not crazy, you won’t reach (your goals).
I lived by that mantra, studying relentlessly every night with energy drinks.
I replicated world-changing inventions and memorized papers word for word.
And yet, in the end…
Negative thoughts began flooding my mind.
“Fuck… Please, just think of something happy, anything…”
No happy thoughts came.
If this continued, I’d revert to my old, pessimistic grad-school self.
Gritting my teeth, I slammed my head against the table again—and blacked out.
…….
Darkness.
Banging my head against the table until I passed out—a habit from my grad school days.
“You stupid bastard! Get the hell out—!!”
That’s what I’d heard back then.
Freshly hired at a major corporation, brimming with the confidence of being a top talent just below genius level.
It was a conglomerate handling Korea’s power supply, and I’d joined their research team.
I did well, handling follow-up research for senior researchers.
But after hearing about a struggling friend who couldn’t even afford electricity, I tried inventing something new…
I read papers, ran experiments, even recreated historic inventions for inspiration.
Those experiences are why I can whip up gadgets so easily now.
Back then, I’d secretly worked on a new generator in the corporate lab.
Many investors backed my ideas, and I collaborated with geniuses from abroad.
The results were surprisingly successful.
But when the higher-ups saw my invention, they panicked—especially the Middle Eastern investors—and shut it down.
Later, Korea Electric Power Corporation… the conglomerate I worked for suffered huge losses and sued me.
My family’s thriving restaurant business nearly collapsed, and I fled back to grad school.
“After that, it was just… paper after paper…”
I still don’t know what went wrong.
Professors, determined to break me, turned me into a paper-writing machine.
I lost all confidence, resigned to being just a “talented student,” churning out papers.
Too busy writing to study, I satisfied my engineering urges with crafting games.
……Enough reminiscing.
“You’re awake?”
Something soft against the back of my head…
Is this a thigh?
Blinking my eyes open, I saw Aetree looking down at me with concern.
As I stared blankly, she gently stroked my forehead and apologized.
“…I’m sorry.”
Why is she apologizing?
If anything, I’m the one who should be sorry.
Aetree’s teardrops fell on my face as she spoke.
“We were too harsh, weren’t we…? I never thought about it…”
She sniffled and continued.
“Seeing you collapsed on the desk shocked me into realizing…
We said we trusted you, then acted so disappointed…
I didn’t realize how much pressure that put on you. I’m sorry…”
I reached up and pinched Aetree’s soft cheek.
Like mochi, it stretched as I pulled, and I kneaded it playfully.
“…Cain?”
“I never thought that. I just… messed up the plan and almost caused a disaster.
If we’d used volcanic ash, the apartment could’ve collapsed…”
“I see…”
I sat up from Aetree’s lap.
As much as I wanted to stay, lying on a 145cm woman’s knees made me feel like a complete degenerate…
But the problem remained unsolved.
As I sighed, Aetree patted my back with her tiny hand.
“There’s an old story.
A man abandoned by the world died and met God.
After suffering in another world, he faced God with a scowl.
God asked him—”
“Aetree?”
Confused by the sudden tale, I questioned her, but she pressed on.
“‘Did you find what you wanted in this life?’”
“……”
“‘Yes.’”
“……….”
“‘What was it?’”
Aetree took a breath, then answered firmly.
“‘To feel loved.’”
Unlike her usual timid self, she met my gaze with strength.
Then she said:
“The man’s face was twisted, but he looked happy.”
“…You.”
“The lesson is: even if fate toys with you, being loved makes humans happy.”
“Aetree…”
“So… ‘I’ love you too. Don’t give up.”
I sighed and rubbed my face.
I understood why she’d told this story.
Before passing out, I’d muttered, “Just think of something happy…”
“You heard that?”
“……Yes.”
My face burned.
Of course shy Aetree would comfort me like this…
“Sorry, that was embarrassing.”
“No. It made you more human. I liked it.”
No, it was definitely embarrassing.
After 20 peaceful years in the countryside, how had I not changed?
After that corporate disaster, why did I grow arrogant and reckless again?
And was I really so fragile that tiny Aetree had to console me?
How shameful.
“Sigh… Alright, time to get up.”
“What will you do now?”
I pondered her question.
Honestly, failing here wouldn’t be catastrophic.
People would forgive me—Aetree’s reaction proved that.
This isn’t like the war, where one loss meant ruin. Overpopulation wasn’t my problem to solve anyway.
The only casualty would be Alice’s trust in me.
Yeah, I could walk away.
“But…”
I ran a hand through my hair.
Aetree’s story taught me something.
To be loved—even just liked—you must suffer enough to scowl at God Himself.
And I’m greedy.
I desperately want to retire, but I also crave Erica’s love.
No, I’m an attention-seeker who wants everyone’s love.
Being called a “heaven-sent genius” is cringey, but it felt good too.
So I stood up again.
“Aetree, can you call Brook?”
“…Don’t tell me.”
“Yeah. This time, I’ll do it right.”
It’ll be tricky, but I’ll make modern cement.
Without volcanic ash, it’s far easier to source than Roman concrete.
I’d initially chosen Roman concrete to reduce Brook and Aetree’s workload, but…
If I’m doing this, I’ll suffer properly.
“Portland cement. Let’s get to work.”
Time to make real concrete.
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