episode_0052

The next day, Da-young, who showed no signs of being drunk even after drinking a can of beer, woke up in the morning without any hangover.

“Wow… Are you really a person?”

Even though minors shouldn’t be like that, what can you do? I was nervous about whether my tolerance had changed since my body had changed and it was my first time drinking, but even with a can of beer, I didn’t feel intoxicated.

“Well, even mom who’s like that…”

“Yeah. Except for the gender change, it seems like everything has been replaced with new parts, so maybe TS syndrome could be a beneficial disease for humans?”

Of course, it’s nonsense. Despite covering all other advantages, the significant flaw is just the change in gender. Last week, when I went shopping, I felt a bit hormonally unstable, so I went to the hospital at the beginning of the month. Fortunately, the hormones were almost stable, and they said my chest was just blessed genetics.

Anyway, according to the doctor, I seem to be adapting quite well. In fact, he mentioned that among domestic patients with TS syndrome, there are some who couldn’t adapt to their changed lives and made extreme choices.

Moreover, people like me who adapt well and accept their new lives are rare. Although the sample size was small to begin with, considering that over half of the people in Korea with TS syndrome come to my hospital to see my dedicated doctor, the doctor’s statement that I am adapting unusually well may be true.

“Jung Do-hyun… No, Miss Do-yeon, despite the more adverse circumstances than others, finding mental health to this extent is extremely exceptional. Is there any secret? If you have any advice that could help other patients, please share it.”

Before leaving the examination room, the doctor asked me this question.

“Well… Maybe it’s because I’m a father.”

My colleagues used to call me a workaholic. When I focused on work, I didn’t look back at anything else and only concentrated on it. While other colleagues balanced work and enjoyed life both at home and at work, I just quietly stuck to the right path.

Of course, I often wondered if I was wrong. But now that things have turned out this way, I’ve realized something: even without finesse, I wasn’t wrong. That’s why, even in this situation where my wife left and I lost my gender, I can still maintain a harmonious home with my children.

“If I become even more fortunate, wouldn’t I transform into something other than a woman? Like an alien or something.”

“Oh, come on, don’t say that.”

Da-young and I started the day with some undelivered jokes as we got up from our seats. We discussed where to go this morning while having a late-night snack yesterday, and decided to go to Hwangryeongsan, a nearby mountain. More precisely, Hwangryeongsan Bongsudae.

Starting from Seomyeon and leading to Busan Port Yeongdo, including the scenery of Gwangalli, Gwangan Bridge, Haeundae, and a viewpoint where you can see almost the entire city of Busan from Dongnae, it’s originally known as a night view spot, but since we have plans at night, we decided to visit during the day. They say the scenery is still beautiful during the day, so it should be fine.

Next, we contacted Davin and met in Dongnae. We ate Dongnae pajeon and then returned to the hotel to use the long-awaited outdoor pool.

Anyway, we took turns washing up and changed into comfortable clothes before heading to the breakfast buffet.

Certainly, perhaps because it’s one of the notable hotels in Busan, the quality of the breakfast buffet was quite good, but neither Da-young nor I are big eaters, and maybe because we had chicken and fell asleep yesterday, our stomachs didn’t take in much.

Seeing my stomach full after barely finishing two plates for dinner and indulging in dessert, I felt a bit wasteful. Well, I convinced myself that this too was a luxury only possible during vacation season.

After finishing my meal, it was roughly 9 a.m. Taking a taxi would only take 20 to 30 minutes, so leaving immediately felt a bit early.

“Should I take a walk by the beach?”

With that thought, I left the hotel and strolled along Haeundae Beach. As expected, the morning in the tourist city was incredibly quiet and serene. The bright lights that were buzzing all night were nowhere to be seen, and only a few tourists like us were walking on the white sand.

Sand kept seeping into my lightly worn shoes. After shaking them off a few times, I got annoyed and simply took off my shoes. Dipping my feet gently into the sea where the waves hit, the surprisingly cold water temperature traveled up my legs, through my spine, and reached my brain, making my whole body shiver.

“Wow, the water is colder than I thought.”

Dayoung must have thought the water would be warm as she shivered just like me.

– Sway~ Sway~

In the silent city, with only the sound of the waves hitting my ears, it felt peaceful enough to soothe my mind.

Ah, this is what a vacation feels like.

That’s why people keep talking about Haeundae. Of course, when I was younger, there were many more people enjoying swimming in the sea than now, and it was a bustling city, but now, it has become so touristy that those seeking a special vacation tend to overlook it.

Yet, many people still come.

Interestingly, there are also many guests like us who use the hotel pool for a staycation, so compared to before, the beach has become relatively less crowded.

“Oh, I love it. I want to move to Busan.”

Dayoung sat down, dipping her hands in the water and gazing blankly at the distant horizon.

It’s funny how she acts like a child at times like these. Where did the guy go who was chugging a can of beer yesterday?

“Hey, it’s good to look at things like this once in a while. Do you feel good about this?”

“Anyway, Mom. You don’t have any romance, do you?”

And so, we, mother and daughter, started chatting again.

Hmm, now we’re called mother and daughter, even I seem to have adopted those terms. Has our relationship really changed that much?

“Dayoung, should I just call you mom from now on?”

When I asked subtly, Dayoung grinned.

“Oh, are we done playing older sister?”

“No, it’s not that. It’s just… I want you to call me mom instead of dad now.”

As I said this, Dayoung fixed her expression and questioned.

“Why, why?”

“Just… it’s confusing. Both for you and for me. Since we can’t go back anyway. If you keep calling me dad, I might hold onto regrets.”

Looking at the sea, I suddenly had this thought. The things I’m worrying about and fretting over right now, are they really worth it? Rather than being worthless, aren’t they just small worries compared to the vast sea beneath my feet?

Whether the kids call me dad or mom, they are my children and I am their parent. So, it’s probably better to adapt a little faster and move forward.

“Dad… no, mom… are you okay? Won’t you regret it?”

Ultimately, giving up being a dad and becoming a mom meant that the children’s mother became fixed as the current me, not their former stepmother.

So, asking if it’s okay is a question I need to ask.

“It’s okay. That woman. I always thought of her as someone else since she left us, even before… no, as a mom.”

Why does that statement sound more sad than satisfying to me?

I sat behind Dayoung, who was staring at the horizon, and hugged her tightly.

“I can’t be sure that I’ll be a good mom. Because even as a dad, I’m someone who has failed.”

Dayoung tightly grasped my arms, wet with water, as she hugged herself.

“Still, I won’t abandon you until the end. That much, I promise.”

“…Okay.”

Somehow Dayoung’s voice sounded choked, but I didn’t bother to turn my face to check. I just quietly gazed in the same direction for a long time.

After staying like that for a while, suddenly, as if calming her emotions, Dayoung spoke in a calm voice.

“Mom.”

“Yes?”

“Thank you.”

“I’m thankful too.”

As I gently patted her head, she stayed still for a moment before pulling her hand away.

“I-I’m not a kid, you know?”

“Silly, children are always children to their parents for a lifetime.”

“Hmph!”

Turning confidently, Dayoung walked away on the sandy beach. I knew it wasn’t anger but embarrassment that made her act that way.

Just because I had been looking at the sea since morning and felt emotional, blurting out words of affection, I felt a bit embarrassed myself, but since I had expressed my true feelings, it was fine. Dayoung must have felt that sincerity enough.

Anyway, after finishing our short morning walk, we went back to the room to change clothes before heading towards Hwangryeong Mountain.

Comfortable and practical clothes. Considering that the information about Hwangryeong Mountain indicated that there was a designated area accessible by car and that a bit of walking uphill was required beyond that, it was necessary to change into clothes suitable for sweating.

“Are you all changed?”

“Yeah, let’s go, Mom.”

And so, led by Dayoung’s guiding hand, I walked out of the room.