episode_0050

Late at night, a drinking party was in full swing at the accommodation.

“Ugh…”

I want to get drunk. I want to get drunk quickly. I want to forget everything.

If I could, I’d even drink bleach. If only I could bleach my heart, if only I could turn this suffocating feeling into a blank canvas and erase it all, I’d sell my soul at this very moment.

“We…we are the Violets, right? You are that Violet, right? Number 1?”

Number 2 stared at Number 1 with bloodshot eyes.

Unfortunately, Number 1 couldn’t answer. Number 1’s memories were also the other Violets’ memories. No matter how many times she flipped through the pages of her thoughts, she only realized the fact that she couldn’t remember her name.

When, and from where, had she forgotten her name? It was like realizing you’d lost your wallet but not even knowing where you dropped it.

“Didn’t we forget it since the entrance ceremony?”

“No way.”

“Since the research lab? I don’t know. When exactly did we forget?”

The moment we became aware of our amnesia, we were trapped in a blind spot of thought. Realizing we’d forgotten our names, a fatal suspicion that had been pushed to a corner of our minds silently surfaced onto the waters of consciousness.

Suspicion arose among us.

“Are we really the beings we think we are?”

“What nonsense! Number 1 is here! Number 1 proves our existence!”

“…Isn’t it just a misunderstanding? We can’t remember our names.”

“Maybe we just forgot for a moment…”

As Number 2 trailed off, Number 45, who had been drinking vodka like water, couldn’t contain her rage and slammed the bottle onto the floor.

-Crash!

“What are you doing?”

“Forget? Idiots! Snap out of it! It’s not forgotten. It’s deleted! We’ve tried slow deep breaths, discussions, all sorts of things, and it still doesn’t come back!”

“If we try to associate it differently…”

“Stop it! Associate? What association? We’ve rummaged through all our old memories, starting from our ID cards!”

Number 45 shrieked. Some of us bowed our heads, while other clones silently drank. Our names had vanished from all our memories, as if someone had maliciously used an eraser.

It would have been better if only our names had disappeared. Bitterly, we realized that several other memories had also vanished in the process. The impressions of people we’d met over twenty years were blurry. Whether they were good memories or bad, they were hazy. If memory were a film, someone had maliciously cut out parts and discarded them, then haphazardly stitched the rest together.

Should we still be thankful that we remember our parents’ names?

“…My military memories are still well-preserved amidst all this.”

Number 3 forced the corners of her mouth up and chuckled weakly. Everyone laughed weakly once, then swallowed their drinks.

Number 7 slowly opened her mouth.

“I don’t know since when. Was it after the entrance ceremony when we died and came back to life, awakening a new unique ability? Or much earlier, when we were dragged into the research lab?”

“So our existence is actually a psychotic delusion where we mistake ourselves for men? Wow, that’s incredible, and schizophrenia on top of that.”

“That discussion was already concluded in the first meeting…”

“The assumptions of the first meeting might need to be re-evaluated now that our memories have become inaccurate!”

“Waaah!”

The Violets began to raise their bottles and cans, talking loudly. Unable to bear it any longer, a voice burst out involuntarily.

“Everyone, quiet!”

Number 1, who had been sitting silently, stood up and shouted. After taking some time to calm them down, the other selves finally quieted.

“There must be another reason. Shall we go over past events? For example, let’s recall what happened right after possession.”

“Right after possession, we went straight to the research lab. Those gangster guys dragged me away, then…”

“What happened after we entered the lab?”

“Well, I was lying down… Then some bright light… Ugh!”

The headache she felt during nightmares struck her head once again. She quickly used pain dispersion, but it had little effect as all the Violets were suffering.

“Ugh… What exactly happened back then?”

“I don’t know either. Those Raphlaxia guys must have done something strange to us.”

Once freed from the throbbing pain, we lost our motivation again. We took out all the remaining alcohol from our inventory and drank it all.

“There’s nothing we can do…”

My vision is spinning. The world is spinning. I feel a little better. It’s comfortable. I’m sleepy…

***

Number 1 stumbled out of the accommodation.

“Blech…”

The effects of drinking on an empty stomach yesterday were terrible. Her stomach twisted uncontrollably, then arbitrarily spewed out its contents as if protesting.

After emptying even the stomach acid in the outdoor restroom, she turned to go back and found Kalia waiting at the accommodation door.

“Hey, Violet. I came to tell you about what you asked yesterday… Damn, are you okay?”

“Hi, it’s nothing…”

As I tried to open the door and go in, Kalia stopped me.

“Nothing? Look at you. What… what is this smell? Did you drink alcohol?”

“Ehehe… Ju, just a little?”

Kalia sniffed a few times and quickly noticed my condition. Busted.

“What do you mean, a little! It looks like you drank several bottles. What in the world did you do last night?”

Kalia pulled open the accommodation’s main door. The rusty hinges shrieked with a creak, and light streamed through the opening, illuminating the interior.

The messy Violets were sprawled on the floor. Around them, liquor bottles and beer cans were scattered in disarray.

Kalia clutched her head.

“…This is crazy. Did you throw some kind of party?”

“No, I was just trying to drink a little…”

“Violet! Does this look like ‘a little’ to you?”

Kalia, who had been glaring at me with her arms crossed, entered the accommodation without a moment’s delay. She gathered a small amount of magic in both hands and clapped them together. A sound like firecrackers exploding echoed inside.

“Alright, alright! Everyone up! Wake up!”

“Ugh… My head…”

“This is nothing short of a pigsty… Did you raid a liquor store or something? I know there are many of you, but this is…”

She woke us up one by one, staggering as we were.

“Ugh… My stomach feels weird…”

“My head hurts…”

“Well, who told you to drink this much?”

The Violets were scolded.

A short while later, we were able to regain our senses only after drinking a glass each of the unusual beverage Kalia brought. She called it a hangover remedy, and after just one glass, our terrible state cleared up in less than 5 minutes. It’s incredibly good. This is how I truly feel that this world’s technology is more advanced than Earth’s, as the setting suggests.

Under Kalia’s watchful eye, with her arms crossed, we cleaned up the entire messy accommodation. After everything was done and we’d even eaten breakfast, we sat down to rest, and I felt her gaze observing us.

Why isn’t she leaving?

She opened her mouth directly.

“…Violet, I felt this last time too, but are you sick? Did something bad happen at the academy?”

“No, nothing bad happened at school. Everything’s fine! I just…”

“Lie.”

As I slowly tried to step back, she gently gripped my shoulder.

“I’ve felt this since the research lab, Violet. You show it on your face when you lie. Don’t try to gloss it over, just tell me honestly. Did something bad happen at the academy? Is some jerk bothering you?”

“It’s not like that…”

“Hey, it’s okay. I don’t know who it is, but if push comes to shove, I’ll go personally and teach that son of a bitch a lesson. I’ll really smash them….”

Kalia clenched both her fists and cracked her knuckles, as if to show me. A bright, reddish-purple flame, similar in color to her hair, shot up from her fists. Seeing that sight, a laugh naturally escaped me.

“Ehehe…”

“What? Why are you laughing?”

“Nothing, just because I’m grateful.”

We sat on a small sofa inside the accommodation’s storage room.

“Nothing really happened at the academy, right? I didn’t say anything, but actually, I was really worried about you at first. I thought you’d get involved with weirdos at the Awakener Academy or wouldn’t be able to adapt. It seems like you’re doing well now, though…”

“Yeah, I’m fine. It’s not because of school.”

“Really, nothing’s happening at the academy, right?”

Under her worried gaze, I debated what to say. I didn’t know how to explain why I was so dispirited, or the stories about having forgotten my true name.

“I’m just a little tired. I’ve been working a lot lately, you know? Ehehe…”

“Okay, well… if that’s the case.”

As I chuckled and vaguely glossed over it, Kalia’s expression stiffened slightly before slowly relaxing.

“Hey, Violet.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know what’s making you struggle. But. If you really can’t bear it, or if you’re having a hard time, tell me anytime. Understood?”

She smiled slightly, as if to reassure me.

Suddenly, I felt like doing something.

“Then, could you hug me for a moment?”

When I asked, Kalia paused for a moment, then opened her arms and hugged me. Perhaps because she was taller than me, it felt reassuring. And warm.

As I was being hugged, the other clones were also stimulated.

“Wait! Kalia! How come you’re only hugging Number 1!”

“Me too! Hug me too!”

The other Violets, seeing Number 1, staggered to their feet and surrounded Kalia. She was instantly encircled by us.

“Hey, hey! Violet…! No, what number should I call you? All of you!”

“Hug us! Hug us!”

“Alright! Fine, I’ll hug you, so line up first.”

Only after hugging all the dozens of Violets was Kalia finally able to leave the accommodation.

“…Don’t forget. If you need help, you absolutely have to tell me. Understood?”

“Understood!”

“I will!”

Though the scars still remained in my heart, being held in another person’s arms calmed my mind a little.

Thank you, Kalia. I can’t tell you now, but if I get the chance later, I’ll tell you everything honestly.