episode_0049

[Anonymous7001: Changed to a secret post. I’m curious about what happened here… Could it be that you’re alive?]

[Trying Man: No. I am deceased.]

[Anonymous7001: Then how are you able to reply to comments?]

[Trying Man: MacDerris, you may not sense it, but I am watching over you right by your side in the form of a spirit. It wasn’t my intention, but it seems that if I stray beyond a certain range from my body, I return.]

[Anonymous7001: …I see. Is there any possibility of coming back to life?]

[Trying Man: None. MacDerris seemed to have no information, but let me clarify now; this space is a bulletin board for the deceased. When the body dies, the system offers players two choices. The first is to opt for immediate soul annihilation. The second is to choose soul retention. Opting for soul retention grants access to the Annihilation Zone for deceased souls.]

To either have the soul extinguished immediately or linger briefly in the afterlife. The system’s directive to choose one was quite cruel.

Indeed, all they could do was watch. In Trying Man’s case, due to my possession, I could observe his movements here and there, but for most people, it meant leaving their cold bodies behind and being unable to depart, only able to browse the Annihilation Zone for deceased souls.

So why did those who couldn’t influence the afterlife choose retention over annihilation?

“Most likely due to lingering regrets.”

Everyone harbors regrets. Even just yesterday, regretting actions taken or not taken is a quintessential human trait.

How substantial must the regrets of those who died unjustly be?

But one must remember clearly. Wandering the afterlife is a curse upon oneself.

If one cannot return to life, nothing changes even if one claims to be observing. Even if they gleaned some information using the Annihilation Zone for deceased souls, they are destined for annihilation someday.

Everything eventually comes to an end. Not even the afterlife can be influenced in the slightest. Yet, despite this, regrets compelled many to choose retention.

It’s a common tale, yet I still wanted to hear Trying Man’s story.

[Anonymous7001: Trying Man. I want to hear your story.]

[Trying Man: To someone as remarkable as MacDerris, my story would likely seem insignificant. If you, with your great power and accomplishments, were to consider my wretched life distasteful, it wouldn’t surprise me.]

Seems like Trying Man also saw it. The crimson rain pouring in the “Trauma” space. And my own figure unleashing immense power on that battlefield.

[Anonymous7001: It might come off as arrogance, but to me, this power is nothing short of a curse.]

[Trying Man: That can’t be true… I’ve always yearned to possess a power as formidable as yours. I’ve desired to wield such overwhelming strength moment by moment. And that desire remains unchanged even now.]

[Anonymous7001: Because of possessing strong power, I had no choice but to kill numerous people. You witnessed it too, didn’t you? People dying at my hands. And those who cried out towards me.]

[Anonymous7001: I still, to this day, remain with them. Whatever I do, they spew despair-laden cries at me. Did I have to kill them? Was there no other way?]

[Anonymous7001: Even though I possessed power, I falter. I still wish to turn back time. I would willingly erase everything if I could make it as if it never happened. You may not know how I appear to you. I am nothing more than an ordinary human who regrets every moment. So, I want to hear your story.]

The story of Trying Man intrigued me. For some reason, his appearance resembled my school days.

Intense torment and the disregard of those around me. Amidst disdainful glances and persecution, I once crumbled without trying to overcome it like Trying Man.

If it weren’t for the cheat of possession, I might have met a more miserable end than Trying Man. Hence, I wanted to hear this man’s story. I wanted to find out what ‘lingering regret’ he held…and alleviate it even just a little.

After all, the reason I roamed this body was also because of that.

[Anonymous 7001: I want to know. What is the lingering regret you still hold?]

[Trying Man: It’s a cliché story.]

Trying Man began telling his story with those words.

—

Trying Man, real name Kayle in the novel. Sadly, he was possessed by a newborn’s body. His mother and father abandoned him. The reasons are unknown. However, Kayle’s spirit, which was possessed, vividly remembers that day. The emotion etched on his parents’ faces when they abandoned him was one of relief.

He was taken in by an orphanage. Since his parents abandoned him as a newborn near the orphanage and fled, in a way, this was the fate his parents handed down to him.

However, the parents who severed the ties with their own child were irresponsible to the end. They threw away their child without properly recognizing that the orphanage was an institution established nominally to receive government subsidies.

The orphanage director took in Kayle, but to him, Kayle was just a number. A means to receive government aid.

I omit the gruesome stories of abuse if he didn’t fall asleep on time. He received only minimal food and care. He was treated more like livestock than a human being.

Food equivalent to animal feed was provided only once a day, and he had to clench his growling stomach every day. As he grew older, he had to go outside to work, yet his life did not improve.

As time passed, Kayle’s body bore more scars.

Unable to use magic, limited in what inspectors could do, and with minimal compensation, the orphanage director always treated Kayle like livestock.

Realizing there was no hope for him here, Kayle attempted to escape late at night.

Ironically, the orphanage director did not pursue Kayle. He said it was fortunate that the useless brat ran away.

Oh, by the way, it later became known that the orphanage director lied to the country, shedding tears over Kayle’s kidnapping, claiming the need for equipment and receiving money, which he used to equip the facility minimally and for his own selfish desires.

Life after leaving the orphanage was quite predictable.

For an orphan who didn’t even know how to use magic, the world was quite cold. But that temperature wasn’t bad. It wasn’t much different from when he was at the orphanage.

Since he had nothing to begin with, he had nothing to lose.

It seems he lived diligently afterward. He found manual labor jobs to earn money and secured a small room where he could live at least.

It was a larger space than expected. Of course, it wasn’t his own; he paid rent monthly, and it was a house where the previous tenant had died alone after several years, allowing him to move in much cheaper than expected due to the condition of the room.

Ghosts didn’t scare Kayle. The fact that he wouldn’t have food to eat tomorrow was far more frightening.

“Kayle. Starting today, I’ll pay you your original salary properly. Instead, work hard without resorting to tricks. Understand? There’s nowhere else that will take in kids like you, so be grateful to us.”

After working diligently at a laborious job for several years, the manager there finally began to pay Kael a normal wage. With his reduced salary returning to its original state, life became a bit more prosperous.

However, Kael did not change his pattern of eating only one meal a day; instead, he saved money.

It was because he wanted to enter the academy.

The reason he wanted to go there was simple. He needed a friend. In this lonely life, Kael had never had a peer as a friend, not even once. Everyone ignored him even at the orphanage.

What Kael desired was a normal companionship. Getting a good job after graduating from the academy was an additional goal. After admitting to himself that he couldn’t use magic, he even thought about it.

He wanted recognition from everyone with a sword.

But his dream quickly crumbled. Although he was fortunate enough to be admitted to the academy, he had to endure much torment from students under the guise of being a lone inspector, and his relationship with the academy students remained as hierarchical as it was in the orphanage.

Kael was always the bottom-rung guy.

In the past and even after entering the academy alone.

It was around that time.

The breathtakingly beautiful girl who made Kael’s heart pound like never before, a girl who had never stirred romantic feelings in him.

Levia spoke to him.

“Um… Kael, right? I think I’ve talked to everyone else, but I don’t think I’ve talked to you. Let’s be friends from now on.”

Ironically, with that single sentence, Kael fell in love.