episode_0048

The next day, Sunday.

After cleaning the messy room with Gia, eating, and doing other things, it got dark.

We were just resting after having just mingled our bodies.

As I was thinking that it was time to wash up and go back to my room, something suddenly occurred to me and I said.

“Oh, Jia. Is it okay if I don’t have a ballpoint pen? I didn’t buy one yesterday and just came.”

Ji-ah made an embarrassed expression, perhaps remembering herself running out of a large supermarket because she couldn’t control her desires.

“Ah… Dohyun needs it because he plans to study when he goes. If he doesn’t have it, he can just do without it. If he needs it, he can go to the convenience store.”

“Then I’ll give you mine. You can just get it from the next room.”

“No, you don’t have to go that far.”

“If you think about it, it’s like you couldn’t buy the pen because of me. You don’t have to refuse it.”

“Then… I’ll buy a new one tomorrow, so I’ll just borrow it until then.”

After I finished showering, I returned to my room, saying I would be back soon.

I scratched my head with a frown as I looked for a ballpoint pen to lend to Ms. Jia.

… How come you don’t have even one ballpoint pen?

Since you can do most things with just a phone and a PC, you haven’t really needed a pen in a while.

I thought there would be at least one… .

There is one thing that is true.

The problem was that the person who gave it to me was Ha-eun.

I don’t know if you remember, but I treated her to pasta once when she blew her dinner money on a claw machine.

At that time, Ha-eun gave me the pen she had won through a raffle as a thank you.

“Umm… .”

I hesitated for a moment, holding the pen in my hand.

I felt really awkward about giving what Ha-eun had given me to Ji-ah.

But this is all there is to a ballpoint pen, and the reason why Ji-ah doesn’t have a ballpoint pen is also because of me.

This was the only way to help Ms. Jia.

… Yeah. I’ll just use it for a bit and return it.

I went to Jia’s room, thinking that there wouldn’t be any problems.

“Ms. Jia, please use this.”

“Thank you.”

Ms. Jia took the pen, examined it, and opened her mouth.

“You use a surprisingly cute pen.”

What makes it so appealing is that there is a hippopotamus character model on the back of the pen.

A design that doesn’t seem like something a man would use.

He smiled awkwardly, for no reason conscious of the fact that Ha-eun had given it to him.

“Haha. Yeah, well… .”

“Anyway, thank you. I’ll return it to you tomorrow after buying a pen on my way to school.”

“Yes. You said you were going to study from now on, right? I’m going to go now, so if anything comes up, let me know.”

“I will do that.”

“Oh, should we exchange numbers now?”

I didn’t do it before because I was worried that Jia would feel burdened, but I think it’s okay now.

“What’s your number?”

“Yes, you can contact me whenever you need to.”

“When needed… .”

“Did you just have a dirty thought?”

“Oh, no?”

The look of bewilderment seemed to have hit the nail on the head.

“I don’t really contact my friends that often… Is that okay?”

“It doesn’t matter, just contact me whenever you want. And I can contact you too.”

I exchanged numbers with Zia and went back to my room.

She certainly wasn’t the type to talk or chat on the phone often.

I also didn’t think there was any need to act differently now that we had each other’s numbers, so I didn’t really try to contact him.

One weekday evening a few days later.

I met Ha-eun and we were having a meal at her favorite pasta restaurant.

We were both excited because the new illustrations she had recently drawn were getting a good response.

“Brother, do you know about Everytown this time?”

“No? What is that?”

“It’s an app that lets you chat with students from other universities. The purpose is to share school life tips and job information with a variety of people.”

I don’t know why the name of the app that lets you talk to students from other schools has “town” in it, but I answered without even thinking about it.

“Oh, really?”

“Yes. It’s an app that our professor made experimentally. If you use it for a month and give feedback, he’ll give you extra points!”

“Oh, that’s okay.”

Ha-eun nodded vigorously at my words.

“Right? That’s why I’m going to try it. If I get good grades, I can study less and play with my brother more.”

“I see. But is it okay? I think it’ll be tiring if I get caught by someone weird or something.”

“It’s okay. It’s an experimental stage, and the professor made it so that only people of the same gender can talk in case something goes wrong.”

“That’s good. Try your best.”

After finishing the meal, we spent time going to the arcade and browsing through various stores.

Ha-eun was still bright, and thanks to her, I was able to enjoy this moment as well.

But it was also true that I couldn’t erase the discomfort that remained in my heart.

A situation where you are close enough to have sex with two women.

This situation could not continue, so a decision had to be made before it was too late.

As I kept that uneasiness buried in my heart, it soon became late at night.

Now is the time to part ways.

But Ha-eun, who felt sorry for that, grabbed my arm as we walked down the street.

“… Oppa.”

“Huh?”

“Can’t I just stop by there?”

The place she pointed to was a motel.

Judging from her flushed cheeks and her mood, I could tell what she wanted without even asking.

At that moment, the worries I had been harboring for so long raised their heads.

The discomfort that had been in my heart since the day I comforted Ha-eun after she found out about her parents’ recent situation.

I’m talking about the guilt that comes from hiding the fact that I’m having sex with other women from Ji-ah and Ha-eun.

I know in my head what the right thing to do is.

The person I actively expressed my interest in was Ji-ah, and the person I made physical contact with first was also Ji-ah.

That’s why I chose Ji-ah, and I shouldn’t develop my relationship with Ha-eun any further.

This was also for Ha-eun.

Because having sex with a man who is interested in another woman is never a healthy relationship.

So from now on, I will stop having private sex with Ha-eun and we will just be close brother and sister.

…I have to say something.

I need to be honest with Ha-eun and ask for forgiveness.

I can’t have sex anymore because I have someone else I like.

I need to tell him that I’m sorry for hiding it and that I can’t act properly.

But I couldn’t open my mouth for fear of hurting Ha-eun.

No matter how hard I try to raise my voice, when I look into her eyes, I feel a lump in my throat.

After hesitating several times, I ended up saying something else.

“Sorry. I think I should go back now and revise the beginning of the novel a bit.”

“Really? What a shame… I want to spend more time with you, oppa.”

The guilt grows even more as I pout.

But I couldn’t bring myself to say hurtful words to that innocent face.

… Let’s talk about it next time. Next time, for sure.

I returned to my studio in a bitter mood, making such a cowardly excuse.

—

Nine o’clock the next night.

Her roommate went out, and Ha-eun, who was lying alone in her dorm bed, was holding her phone with a very nervous expression.

What’s on the screen is an app called Everytown, which her department professor created in collaboration with a professor he knows.

As I told Dohyun yesterday, I was thinking of using it to get grades for my subjects from the professor.

‘Ugh… I’m so nervous.’

Ha-eun’s heart was beating like crazy because Do-hyeon was the only person she had kept in close contact with in her twenty years of life.

‘What if he’s a bad person…? What if I say something wrong and get cursed at…?’

Before I even start, a thousand thoughts fill my head.

Still, I had no intention of giving up.

If I secure my subject scores, the time I have to study will decrease, and the time I can play with Do-Hyeon will increase.

“You can do it. Fighting…!”

I calmed my mind and moved my fingers diligently.

The first menu is to choose a conversation partner.

There was a feature that allowed her to talk to a random person, but Ha-eun wanted to choose one herself.

‘Hmm… there aren’t many schools.’

Because it is still in the experimental stage, the number of registered schools is small.

Fortunately, however, Ha-eun was able to find the school she wanted.

“There is, Hana University!”

There was no particular reason for choosing that place.

Simply because Do-Hyeon goes to that school.

Anyway, when I selected a school, a list of IDs of users who signed up for the app appeared.

‘Who should I talk to…?’

Look carefully at the listed IDs.

Since they said they made it so that only same-sex people could talk, there was no need to worry about men getting caught.

“Umm… .”

After going through the list several times, I chose an ID that felt good.

‘Okay, let’s send it to this guy.’

Fingers writing a message with care after taking a deep breath.

The content was simple.

[hello!]

“What should I do! I really sent it!”

As soon as Ha-eun sends the message, she screams and goes under the blanket.

The content sent is simple, but the reaction is excessively large.

As I was hiding under the blanket and holding my breath, the phone I had thrown away rang.

“Wow, here it comes!”

[hello.]

‘Thank goodness. I guess my greeting wasn’t strange.’

I let out a sigh of relief for a moment, but then I fell into agony again over what to send next.

‘What are you talking about? You shouldn’t be talking about weird things… Ah!’

[What year are you in? I’m in the ’22 class!]

I send the question I managed to squeeze out, and this time instead of hiding under the blankets, I flip my phone over.

When I first thought about it, I thought it was a no-brainer question, but after sending it, my head started getting complicated again.

‘Is it rude to talk about age from the beginning? But I can’t think of anything to say. What should I do…?’

In the midst of my confusion, the phone rang again.

[I am class of 21.]

‘You’re one year older than me?’

Maybe it’s because of Do-hyun’s presence, but I feel more comfortable with older people than with people my age.

However, it didn’t seem like Ha-eun had let her guard down, so she continued to tap the screen diligently with trembling hands.

—

Jiiing.

The phone on the desk vibrates.

Jia looked up from the TOEIC textbook she was reading and checked the message.

A chat window with a design similar to Talk Messenger.

He looked at the message the other person had sent below and moved his finger with an indifferent expression.

[I am class of 21.]