episode_0048

Helena had a dream.

A dream where one’s family dies, one is beaten by Salome, one is abandoned by Rachel, and then one meets a man who embraces light.

The light emanating from him was not even a halo.

There was light at the center of him, as if he were light.

But soon that light goes out.

Helena, because you are not even worthy of the light shining on you.

Helena couldn’t catch him as he walked away.

I know very well that I am not worthy or qualified to do that.

‘Yes, this suits me… .’

I know, but still, I don’t want you to go.

There’s a lot I want to say, but I don’t know what to say.

So I just call you by name.

“Ian… .”

“Yes?”

“… Huh?”

Helena opened her eyes brightly.

A familiar scene, this is Ian’s room.

And next to him, Ian was sitting on a chair, looking down at Helena.

“Lee, Ian… ? This is, uh, how could I… .”

A headache woke me up and brought back memories I had forgotten.

I remembered a time in the past when I couldn’t overcome my inferiority complex and passed out while running too hard.

Helena was suddenly overcome with fear.

“I, I, I, am sorry… . I’m sorry for doing that… . I’m a bother to Ian… .”

Helena stood up, trembling.

I made a mistake.

I was wrong.

Then, it’s natural to get scolded.

You will be scolded, your evaluation will be lowered, your value will be lowered, and you will be ignored.

In addition to betraying Ian’s expectations, he acted arbitrarily and caused concern.

It is a nuisance itself.

It was clear that I would be ignored, but I didn’t want to be turned away.

‘scared… .’

Helena couldn’t bear to see Ian any more and muttered with her head down.

“Sorry, sorry… . Please, please don’t abandon me… .”

“True.”

Ian burst into laughter, pressed Helena’s forehead and gently laid her down.

“Ian… ?”

Ian smiled bitterly at Helena.

It wasn’t like he was trying to reprimand.

Ian simply spoke calmly.

“You were very anxious, right?”

“… … .”

After a moment of silence.

Tears flowed from Helena’s eyes.

She wasn’t conscious of it.

Ian looked at it and continued.

“I know what you feel. There is also a comparison with Vivian. Now, compared to Vivian, Helena… Yes, honestly, it’s still not enough. But I said it. Resting is also called training.”

“… … .”

“I know that you are anxious, and I also know that you can’t get rid of it by telling yourself not to be anxious. I know, but there is no need to be scared.”

Acknowledge the unavoidable anxiety.

However, the fear that comes from it is denied.

“You said you wanted to see what I saw in Helena, right?”

“Yes… .”

“I still have a long way to go to see that. But I can definitely show you. I guarantee that. So let’s not be afraid, let’s not be afraid. Anxiety can be motivating, but fear only breaks your will.”

“… … .”

“And, I won’t abandon the person I chose.”

What if I get abandoned first?

I swallowed those words.

“I, I, I… . Sorry, sob, sob… !”

Helena covered herself with a blanket and hiccuped as she cried.

I don’t know how long it’s been since I cried this much in front of someone.

“… ! Sigh… !”

It’s so embarrassing, but Chimi can’t stop crying.

Tears just flowed out incessantly, like a dam collapsing.

After waiting for it to subside for a moment, Ian said playfully.

“Did you forget I told you I was hooked? I even used it in front of other people.”

“… I remember.”

“… Honestly, you can forget it. Anyway, let’s rest well until tomorrow and start again from the sand.”

“Yes… . I wonder how much I… .”

“I fall down after the sun sets, and soon it’s time for the sun to rise again.”

“Then Ian… .”

Does this mean that you have been sitting next to me and taking care of me all this time?

Helena could not bear to say those words.

If I did that, I felt so sorry and guilty that I felt like I would break down.

Ian shrugged his shoulders and said it was no big deal.

“That’s what I do.”

“… … .”

“Vivian is asleep, so you can just sleep here today. Don’t just go and wake him up.”

“Sorry… .”

Helena was about to say something, but closed her mouth.

These feelings, this treatment, this comfort.

I’ve never experienced it before.

Something again rises in my mind.

No crying this time.

The warm feelings that had to be buried because they could not be seen by others bloom on the soil.

This may also be scary and difficult to handle, but it is so precious that I cannot refuse it.

What I wanted to say to Ian, who I couldn’t find in my nightmare.

I finally realized that.

It’s not an apple.

Helena now.

“… Thank you.”

I was so grateful to Ian that it even made me feel holy.

The name Ian was added to the faith that had been chipped away, and it began to take on a new form.

“Sleep more. Or would you like some water?”

“Yes, I’m a little sore… .”

Helena gulped down the water Ian gave her and sat for a moment.

Ian quietly watched her from the side, afraid that she might want something more.

I felt a little embarrassed by that extreme sincerity.

“Well, then, I’ll sleep… .”

“Sleep well.”

“Ian, aren’t you sleeping…? ?”

“I can’t sleep right now. Stop talking and sleep quickly.”

“Sin… Thank you.”

Helena quickly fell asleep.

Thanks to a good night’s sleep, the vitality returned to my face and lips.

Looking at the fresh oranges, Ian felt a strange sense of kinship.

In the past, the only thing I could do was try, so I overworked my body to the point that it was eating away at my lifespan.

Although he has already surpassed that level now, Ian was once like that too.

I looked down at Helena and laughed.

There is no separate complex.

[master.]

‘… You told me to sleep earlier.’

[…] … .]

‘Why did you call me?’

[Is Helena okay?]

‘okay. He just woke up, had a good chat, and then put him back to sleep. I think Vivian and Mercy will wake up if I send them there, so I’m leaving them here today. What about those two?’

[Mercy fell asleep early, and Vivian was worried and fell asleep a little late.]

‘If the quick-witted nun found out, she would be very sorry. ‘Why aren’t you sleeping?’

[…] … .]

‘You too, go to sleep quickly. ‘Everything is okay now.’

[…] All right. Please sleep too, master.]

‘okay.’

Ian knows what Carty is worried about.

There were times when the first party members tried to do well on their own.

Of course, they were monsters among monsters, so they didn’t faint like Helena did.

Rather than anxiety, it was due to a competitive spirit that required her to always be the best, so her motivation was different from Helena.

That’s what Carty is worried about.

I’m afraid that Helena’s inferiority complex will lead to the disintegration of the entire party or to hostility towards Ian.

‘That’s a problem I need to take care of, it’s not something you should worry about… .’

It’s not like he didn’t know how he felt, so Ian felt sorry and thankful for no reason.

[master.]

‘Why aren’t you sleeping?’

[Good night, sir.]

‘Okay, sleep well too.’

The sky outside the window gradually became brighter, and the sun rose.

Even then, Ian was sitting next to Helena.

‘After I recover, I’ll have to look at Helena’s condition and find out the next dungeon. It would be nice if there was a place where I could get at least one hidden piece that could be of use to the two of us.’

Coincidentally, there was one artifact that could be obtained around this time that was subject to memory correction.

‘Automatic interception magic summoning ring.’

It is a ring that allows the summoning of a magic entity that fires stored magic at the enemy in response to the wearer’s will or hostility toward the wearer.

There is a cooldown between shots, but if stored, it is an artifact that draws the wearer’s mana and fires it without casting.

Because its destructive power is limited, its value is lowered in high-level dungeons.

‘It varies slightly depending on user sensitivity and suitability, but it is still a product with clear limitations.’

Even taking that into account, it is a perfect fit for Vivian, who is still a beginner and has no means of self-defense.

‘We’ll have to check Helena’s condition to find out, but the dungeon difficulty level with that hidden piece seems to be suitable for the two of us right now.’

Then, for a moment, strawberries came to mind.

I think I forgot something… .

‘… ah. You haven’t bought me a magic book yet. I need to buy Vivian a book first before Helena recovers. ‘You’ll need magic to use when working together.’

*

Vivian is worried about one thing these days.

‘Helena… .’

It’s not a problem that Helena lags behind him.

Everyone grows differently, and Helena has just started training, so it’s only natural.

I don’t know why I’m worried that Helena is sleeping in Ian’s room after training too hard yesterday, but it’s not something I’m worried about.

However, the problem was that he was one of the causes of Helena’s collapse.

Neither Ian nor Helena told her, but Vivian intuitively realized that she had encouraged Helena’s inferiority complex.

‘What should I do… .’

It’s not a problem Vivian can solve, but she wanted to be of some help.

Perhaps the answer can be found in experience.

When a new child enters the orphanage, the existing children naturally begin to become territorial or subtly ostracize the child.

Time is the answer to getting closer naturally as you spend time together, but Vivian knows how to solve it a little faster.

All you have to do is have the existing children help the new child.

If you know that the other person has something worse than you, ironically, you can become a little closer to that person.

The opposite is also true.

If you help someone who you feel is difficult for you, your heart will naturally open.

‘Helena won’t grow much if I help her, but… .’

Vivian is not a better teacher than Ian, so it goes without saying.

However, I have no doubt that just forming a friendship between the two in this way will be of great help to Helena.

I was so surprised when Helena didn’t come home until late yesterday and said she collapsed.

When I wake up, I want to be nicer and more helpful than usual.

‘What could there be…? .’

At the root of this concern is the reason why he is not mature enough for a 25-year-old who has been an adult for 5 years.

Compared to Vivian, Helena is clearly dull.

Of course, Ian’s attention is bound to be focused more on Helena.

Vivian consciously ignored this inevitable favoritism and regret that she could only know empirically.

‘If Helena gets better and becomes closer to me, not only will the morale and power of the entire party improve, but the time and attention Ian will give me… It’s not that important… If it’s important, it seems important… .’

I was trying to assuage my childlike feelings with adult-like behavior.

Compared to Sylvia, who oppressed others and tried to monopolize their attention by intentionally hurting them, it was an unusual, productive, and extremely adorable way of responding.

‘work out… .’

Miracles are not a field that Vivian can work in.

So, how about providing assistance or assistance in exercising together every day?

Vivian put her hands on the floor and tried to lie down.

Push-ups are said to strengthen the strength of the entire upper body.

I performed the movements while paying attention to the elbow angle and muscle movement that Ian showed me.

‘Maybe there’s something I can tell you from the perspective of learning together…’ .’

– Molkan.

Before I could go all the way down, something touched me.

The sportswear Taylor gave me pressed my chest tightly, but it wasn’t the everyday clothes I was wearing now.

“… … .”

Even though no one was watching, Vivian stood up with her face open.

‘Umm… . Ah, anyway, Helena said she would get a good rest today. Starting tomorrow, I will take a more proactive approach. Because I’m your sister… .’

-Knock knock knock.

“Vivian, can I come in?”

It was Ian.

“Huh? yes yes… !”

Vivian hurriedly adjusted her clothes.

Isn’t now the time to come?

Isn’t it time to nurse a sleeping Helena?

Ian came in and looked at Vivian’s face.

“Why… ?”

Ian thought briefly but deeply about whether he should answer that question.

What were you doing that made your face so red and seemed a little out of breath, and that you were in such a hurry to get your clothes in order? .

Let’s not ask.

“Ah, that’s… .”

I try not to think about it, but bad thoughts keep coming to mind.

Because of that, Ian stuttered without realizing it.

Vivian tilted her head, looking at him with a slight blush even to his ears.

“Keuhum. Well, maybe that… Is there anything you need to do now? We’re busy… Is it okay?”

Ian was rarely awkward and stuttered.

“Ugh. There is nothing in particular. I was thinking of writing a letter to the kids, but I don’t necessarily have to do it now.”

“Umm… . Then, let’s go out with me.”

“… Yes?”

Vivian looked beyond Ian.

There was no Katy, no Mercy, no Helena.

“… Two of us?”

“Yes.”

A delusion burned in Vivian’s mind.

Numerous stories that I overheard through rumors or from other people’s mouths.

A man and a woman who have no reason to spend time alone with each other… .

And the fact that the man who told it was so embarrassed and embarrassed… !

‘I shouldn’t be doing this…’ . I am him, the warrior, and Ian is… .’

Vivian responded with a more heated expression.

“Okay… .”

“… Then let’s go.”

Vivian followed Ian as if possessed.

And Ian felt a little sorry.

‘Was I too oblivious…? ? This is my first time experiencing something like this… . Be more careful next time… , But how should I be careful about this… . driving me crazy. At least hear a sound… .’

“Ha… .”

Ian was so frustrated that he sighed unconsciously.

“Huh? What’s wrong?”

“Oh, it’s nothing… .”

Looking at Ian, whose ears were red and unable to make eye contact, Vivian’s delusional circuit came back to life.

The two left the training center, feeling awkward with each other due to their own misunderstandings.

*

A luxurious carriage advances toward the open gates of Badenberg.

The cheers of the crowd gathered around pounded on the carriage, but the people inside did not show their faces.

It is the day the first party leaves Badenberg and goes to deal with the A-class dungeon instructed by Penny.

There was a cold, awkward silence inside the carriage.

When they kicked out Ian and entered Badenberg, the four of them each got on a carriage and were greeted with cheers from the people.

No one was in the mood for that right now.

Even though the cheers were no different from back then, today they were just annoying.

Kylie crossed her arms, frowned, closed her eyes, and remained still.

Beatrice rested her chin and looked outside with a sour face.

Aria was looking at her palm blankly.

Sylvia took out a notebook the size of her palm and was scribbling something down.

‘What I did wrong, and what I should be thankful for… .’

Sylvia was writing her own notes on incorrect answers that she used to use when studying with Ian.

The subject is Ian.

When I think about it, there were a lot of wrong answers in my behavior the last time I visited.

It would be right to apologize first.

So, Sylvia organized what she would tell Ian when she met him again.

Things you did wrong and need to apologize for.

Things to be thankful for, received from Ian.

‘And what else… .’

Besides that, I also kept a diary of everything that happened with Ian.

I stop my pen for a moment and think about it.

“Silvia-! You’re the best, Sylvia! Thank you for saving me!”

Someone shouted at the top of their lungs.

Sylvia scanned the awkward atmosphere of the carriage and looked outside through the small window.

The person who said that could not be identified.

The crowd, unable to move beyond a certain distance, was crowded together and shaking like grass in a field.

‘Thank you for saving me… .’

Do I really deserve to hear those words?

That being said, even if he said it to Ian every day, it wouldn’t be enough.

With mixed feelings, Sylvia looked out the window.

So many people want attention, are thankful, and have hope for themselves.

It was a scene that I took for granted as if it were my daily life and was happy about my natural situation.

Today, the scenery is unfamiliar.

Sylvia’s gaze went beyond the crowd.

Although not as good as Spevia, Badenberg is also a fairly well-organized city.

As I was looking at the panoramic view of the city, another memory with Ian came to mind.

Sometimes, on their days off, the two would take a walk along the promenade or riverside of Spevia.

One particularly memorable moment was when I went to buy a magic book for the first time.

It was before they became famous, and it was a time when it was just Ian and Sylvia.

Even though my goal was to kill the Demon King, the days were very simple and peaceful, and I was slowly becoming influenced by Ian.

Even now, if I close my eyes, I feel like I can even capture the temperature and smell of the street at that time.

Tears flowed from the corners of Sylvia’s eyes as she looked out the window.

She lowered her head again and wrote down the memories of that day in her notebook.

There are so many things I want to say when I see him again.

But, is that possible?

Where are you and what are you doing now?

As much as I want to run out of here and trace Ian’s traces starting from MacDerlin Abbey, I know I shouldn’t.

More than anything else, Ian wouldn’t want him there.

The cold truth seems to cut my heart.

So Sylvia concentrated on thinking about the warm memories left in the past.

Hoping to meet again someday.

‘Ian, I miss you… .’