episode_0048

〈Application for opening a new club activity〉

of the gathering

Name: Horticulture Department

Location: West Observatory

Representative: Juliet Gloucester, 1st grade Gremory class

Purpose: To study the physical properties of plants as food, medicinal herbs, and dungeon defense weapons, and to consider the placement and use of plants in a dungeon environment through direct cultivation experience.

Applicant Deputy Juliet Gloucester 𝒥𝓊𝓁𝒾─𝒢𝓁𝑜───

Boo Won Penelope Dickens

… …

Leader Rolande Vasses [𝕽]

───

“This will do… … ?” I picked up the application form I received from the professor and looked at it. Professor Rolande’s seal sparkled with ink that had not yet dried.

Now all you have to do is submit this to the academy administration… … .

I handed Miss Juliet an application form with the professor’s stamp of approval and a several-page plan. Miss Juliet smiled as if she was relieved, holding the application form in her arms.

“Thanks to Miss Penny for writing the activity plan, I was able to pass it easily! After all, people with excellent writing skills are cool.”

“No, you’re welcome… … .”

“, please release me now… … Hick, crunch, crunch─!”

“Really, why are you so scared, Professor?” Miss Ratsby withdrew her fingernails from the nape of Professor Rolande’s neck. “They’re cute students, but I guess they’re cute too.”

‘Miss Juliet, the reason you were able to find an advisor and pass the exam in an instant was because Miss Ratsby threatened Professor Rolande… … .’

The ability to read other people’s facial expressions is excellent, but it is generally insensitive to the cause and effect of events. Miss Ratsby climbed onto Miss Juliet’s horse’s back, holding an armful of membership certificates.

“That’s true, but Professor Roland has a personality that is vague about everything─. So I thought it was the easiest to target.”

… … It’s not wrong.

From my perspective, the professor was the type of person who did not like to get caught up in complicated matters, and if a request was persistent, he would grant it without conditions, but would choose to pass on responsibility and run away.

In other words, he is essentially a similar person to me. The person who could best cook such a professor was Miss Ratsby.

Originally, we had planned to invite Professor Wettin Lowdeger, a professor of herbalism and also the homeroom teacher of first-year Belial class, but that was not possible… … .

‘Professor Wettin said he would decline to be the club’s advisor. I was in charge of the plant cultivation department a few years ago, but ever since a plant ran out of the greenhouse and caused a disaster, I don’t think I want to take charge of the related club itself.’

That’s what Miss Juliet said. I heard that the fifth member, whom I haven’t met yet, said that, but since it’s Belial Class, he would know the exact situation better.

───

“Aaaaa——! In the end, nothing has been decided!!” Caroline was furious. The horned conch doll flew through the dorm room and crashed into the opposite wall.

“Miss, if you scream like that, your dignity will be ruined.” Epaek gently scolded.

“What should we do with that classy, naughty girl?! What on earth were you doing while I was racking my brain and coming up with a plan!”

Ariel came out first. “Yes! The lady told me not to do anything except what she told me to do, so I was watching a new Netflix show!”

Next is Evertual. “And I was doing Utawaku for 2 hours a day to earn Netflix subscription fees.”

Finally, Epheke spoke. “… … Every time she came up with an outrageous plan, I explained to her one by one where it couldn’t work.”

Caroline tried to ruffle her hair, but stopped and pounded the pillow she was hugging with her fist.

“You should at least bring an idea, an idea! Epique, if there are so many loopholes in my plan, why don’t you take a look at it!”

Epaik put down the needle she was knitting on her lap. The center of gravity of the body shifted forward and the armchair tilted. The pink scarf was half finished.

“… … My strategy is, ‘You can’t do that.’ It means there is no way.”

“What?!” Caroline gritted her teeth as if she was about to bite the pillow.

“It is not impossible to get Penny Dickens out of the Academy. For example, how about ‘killing them and physically expelling them from the academy’?”

“Well, that’s not possible!” Caroline said hurriedly. “Are you out of your mind?! I told you to finish it without getting my hands dirty!”

“You are right. Although I want to kick out Penny Dickens, I want to use a ‘non-dirty method’ that does not lose the generosity and dignity of an aristocrat. That’s the young lady’s position, right?”

“… … Yes.”

“So, pour muddy water on your head, break your legs, etc… … You said you would refrain from doing anything that would cause physical harm.”

“Of course! There is no reason for me to become a violator of school rules just to drive out unruly commoners! That is something unbecoming of the noble Scrooge nobleman!”

“… … So that means it can’t be done. There is no way at this point for her to get Penny Dickens out by any legal or benign means.”

“Ugh… … !”

“The shock of seeing Penny Dickens’ genitals must have been so great that we couldn’t even imagine… … . There is no excuse to stop Penny Dickens from proudly studying at the Academy.”

“This can’t be right… … . Well, that’s promiscuous! You came out of the bathroom without your pants on! Whether it’s a crime of indecency at a performance or maintaining dignity… … ! There’s nothing you can do about something like that?!”

“It’s difficult. It was the first day of moving into the dormitory, so I had not yet officially become an academy student. A cadet cannot be expelled for something committed before admission. And one more thing… … .”

Caroline listened in silence to what Epheke said with a sullen expression on her face.

“Even if it was possible to raise an issue about what happened then, unless Penny Dickens showed it to you on purpose, it would be nothing more than a mere incident.”

“That’s right! Even if a woman accidentally exposes her private part to another woman, there is no law that would kick her out of the Academy! ” Ariel intervenes.

Evertual also added a word of support. “To begin with, there are many cadets at the academy who do not wear pants, like centaurs and Arachne. Right now, we are mermaids too.”

“Keuuu… … .”

“… … And, it is said that you captured the sexual intercourse scene, but unless you have clear evidence, it is just a ‘claim’. They say that all you have to do is pull it off. So threats won’t work.”

“Huh? why? I think threats will work well. He’s very scared, but he doesn’t seem to have much.” This time, Ariel expresses doubt.

“But if you look at the faces behind them, the story is different. One is Edrose Drool, Penny Dickens’ roommate Slime, and he is a troublesome person.”

“I don’t think there was anyone like that when we raided room 609 last time.” Evertual said.

“I also only recently figured out who it is. I don’t come to class at all, and I don’t show myself outside of room 609 in the first place.”

“Efake, you weren’t playing around sucking your fingers?!”

“Of course. Speaking of this slime, I don’t know why, but it is very protective of Penny Dickens. Every time I went undercover to collect Penny Dickens’ weaknesses, this was the identity of the guy who was making sticky attacks on me.”

‘I didn’t get sticky at all?’ Caroline found it strange, but didn’t really care.

“It’s as if the entire academy is being watched through surveillance cameras. No matter what plans we make, they always move ahead of us. Maybe this room is also being monitored right now.”

In an instant, the room was filled with silence. The atmosphere is so scary that even saying a word is scary. Come to think of it, some of the plans I had made so far seemed to have failed due to someone’s interference.

The plan to make Penny Dickens gain weight by feeding her lots of sweet castella and make her drop out of school out of shame failed because all the castella melted… … .

The plan to brainwash people through a smartphone hypnosis app failed because of a mirror that happened to be nearby… … . It was Caroline who went through all sorts of trouble just to stop Efaik from dropping out of school.

“… … Other than that, I don’t know any more details, but what I do know is that there is a helper with an incredibly clever mind over there. It is my judgment that the obstruction cannot be overcome by a moderate approach.”

“Ugh… … . Who else is there besides that?”

“The only daughter of the Maxwell conglomerate.”

“Haha, give up─!” Ariel, who was listening, threw the pen into the air.

“Don’t give up─!!”

───

“… … Yes, registration is now complete. You can start working this week.”

A blazing ball of light held out a card with the Academy mark on it from beyond the counter. It was quite scratched and worn, and there were signs that the label had been taped over several times, showing that it had been through several clubs.

“The activity fee card can be used starting this Friday, and since it cannot be used outside of the store, you must come to the administration office with your purchase receipt to settle the payment. If you lose it, please contact us immediately and return it when club activities are over.”

It was so bright that it was bright even with my eyes closed. Is this the halo of the ‘person who gives money’…? … !? Miss Juliet, who nods her head without changing her complexion even in this situation, looks amazing.

Frowning in front of this blazing torch-like species could be a form of ‘species discrimination’, but… … My eyes hurt… … !

“… … I don’t have to use “Jabo” anymore, right?”

“Yes? 「Jabo」?”

“No, no, I mean the self-development report! I ended up shortening it arbitrarily… … .” Behind me, I heard the twinkling Gyewon burst into laughter and say, ‘Puhup.’

“Yes, unlike the “Japanese Report,” the club activity report has to be submitted once per semester.” Miss Juliet’s playful side has been activated again… … ! “Now, all we have to do is get the supplies needed for gardening and bring them to the club room, right?”

“Of course! First, you’ll need a pot, soil, seeds, and nutrients, and… … .”

Then, suddenly, I discovered a major flaw that I didn’t notice until I said, ‘Let’s make the observatory a club room.’ Miss Juliet tilted her head when she saw me frozen with my mouth open.

“And is there anything else?”

For plants to grow, things are more important than pots, soil, and nutrients… … .

“… … What about water?”

───

I climbed the stairs of the tall watchtower and looked again at the site that would become the club room. Installing a pump this far is ridiculous. However, it would not be possible to carry bottled water or water jars to this height.

‘If you ask Sammy, the exercise enthusiast, to explain why this happened… … .’

No, I think that’s a bad thing to do. No matter how strong you are, if you deliver water from a 5th floor villa without an elevator, you will pass as an animal that day. It’s not the muscles that are the problem, it’s the joints and discs that are straining.

… … So how do we chat?

Since it was open on all sides, at first I thought it was a ‘nature-like environment’ and passed on it, but I think it was already too late to give up on choosing a club room… … .

“If you think about it, grass and trees grow well in nature, right?! Why does it dry out and die if you plant it in a flower pot and leave it out the door?”

“There is no underground water in a flowerpot, and above all, the soil size is absolutely small, so nutrients and moisture are quickly depleted. Even if it rains, hydration is provided only while it rains.”

I guess so… … . I know this well because I watched Miss Sammy every morning putting nutritional supplements in the flower pot outside the window of room 609. Plants, like animals, will not grow if left alone.

The reason it seems to grow well even when left alone in nature is because nature is just the best gardener… … .

“Then… … In the end, should we hire one more member? Is there a species that can fire water cannons? … .” Seeing me trying to think of an alternative with a confused expression, Miss Juliet spoke quietly.

“… … I have a good idea.”

“Yes─. What is it?”

“They say the human body is made up of 70% water, right?”

… … I feel uneasy about something. “Yes. But?”

“Then wouldn’t it be okay to use water from the body?”