episode_0047

A stream of warm water washes away my skin that has become sticky with sweat.

The first time she washed, she almost fainted due to the water and sewerage facilities in Superbia, but Helena quickly got used to it.

“Puh… .”

I wiped my face, then touched my cheek again.

Although he was soon an adult, the breast fat that had not yet disappeared was bulging.

was laughing

Helena was unfamiliar with that feeling.

There are many times when I imitate a smile in front of others.

I don’t smile much when I’m alone.

However, these days, I laugh sincerely often.

Especially in front of Ian.

‘good.’

Helena couldn’t express her feelings in detail right now.

Since I had never felt anything similar to this in my life, I had nothing to compare it to.

So, Helena expressed her feelings with just one expression, ‘I like it.’

The throbbing of the heart that jumps up to the throat when you are out of breath, and the muscles that give off a feeling of being torn apart every time you move.

Ian also sees himself like that.

Everything was just good.

This is the first time in my life that I am in a situation where I have to ‘do’ something.

When training at a monastery, many people were together and they did not specifically point out what we could not do.

If you do well, do well. If you don’t, just work harder.

That was the only evaluation.

Ian is different.

When you say you are good at something, praise specifically what and how you are good at it.

The same goes for when you say you can’t do something, and we provide detailed guidance on how to do better.

This is impossible without delicate and objective observation and understanding, and affection for the subject.

What do you like and what do you not like?

What should I do next and what should I not do?

For Ian, it is clear how he wants Helena to be used.

‘Yes, lean forward.’

This is the first time in my life that I am receiving expectations from someone.

It’s not burdensome.

I just want to repay those expectations to the fullest.

‘If it’s Ian, it’s okay to follow him. Because you were the manager of the first party… .’

This is not a revelation from God.

It is my revelation.

My light shines on him.

It was blind yet grounded trust.

Suddenly, I saw red hair falling on the floor.

‘Vivian… .’

Although she was a kind and good person, Helena found her difficult to deal with.

Vivian has passively but clearly shown interest in Helena.

Helena wasn’t that bad, but it was also strangely difficult.

It’s not that I hate Vivian or anything.

The only problem was that Vivian was too superior to Helena.

‘When will I be able to catch up with Vivian? .’

Ian sometimes praises Helena, but he points things out much more often.

Vivian, on the other hand, is always praised.

Whatever she does, she does it well, and Ian is satisfied.

It was natural.

Vivian had already been with Ian for several months, and Helena had been with him for less than two weeks.

I envied Vivian like that.

I wanted to quickly prove and elevate its usefulness and value to Ian.

I felt more hungry for recognition than for Ian’s attention.

It’s not that I don’t like attention.

I just want to continue to show him what he saw in me.

‘You can’t have this mindset…’ . I need to work harder and become closer to Vivian. ‘Because we are colleagues who will remain together in the future.’

Don’t let Ian’s expectations that he was attracted to you be broken.

For Helena, who was dull and had little time together, hard work was the only way to survive.

***

In the afternoon, I came to visit Helena.

Today is a day without Helena’s afternoon training.

“Helena. Do you have something to do?”

“No!”

“Then let’s go out with me.”

“Yes! Yes!”

Mercy glances at me for no reason.

“That… . Helena, you shouldn’t carelessly follow such a bad man.”

“Ian is a good guy!”

“Oh my, you’re already possessed… .”

“Don’t talk nonsense.”

“Hasn’t it been a while since you and I went out to play together? My affection has cooled.”

“Aren’t you going to have fun?”

“Weren’t you going to have fun?!”

“Ah.”

If you talk back, I’ll wake you up.

I just grabbed Helena’s wrist and led her.

Mercy chuckled behind her.

“Have a nice trip.”

When I opened the door and went out, I ran into Vivian who was trying to come in.

Vivian’s eyes fell for a split second to my hand holding Helena’s wrist, then returned.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to Taylor. I think it’s time to buy some clothes.”

“Ah… .”

“What about Vivian? Isn’t it training time?”

“I left something behind for a moment.”

“We’ll go first.”

“Vivian! Cheer up!”

“… Yes.”

I passed Vivian and went down the hallway.

For some reason, I felt a prickly feeling behind me, so I turned around and saw that Vivian was still looking this way.

When we made eye contact, he smiled and waved lightly.

“Ian? Why are you doing that?”

“… no. Let’s go.”

*

Taylor welcomed Vivian as warmly as she had last time.

Her first comment upon seeing Helena was this:

“… Why the tin can helmet?”

“Helena. I told you to take that off when I came in.”

“Ah. that is… . sorry… !”

When Helena took off her helmet, Taylor said in surprise.

“Where did you get such a baby?”

“… I am 19 years old!”

“You sound more like a baby when you say it like that?”

Helena, who was being dragged away to be measured, kept glancing at me as if she was anxious.

Taylor looked at that and smiled like it was cute.

“She looks like a real baby.”

But that smile didn’t last long.

She said as if she was worried.

“You look a bit anxious.”

“I’m still worried about that.”

It seems like he’s trying not to show it, but I can see that he’s anxious.

The reasons are probably complex.

I also have to stay away from my only friend, Rachel.

In addition to being thrown into an unfamiliar environment and challenging a new goal.

Because Vivian is superior to him, he will be noticed.

What came out today is not just for the reason of buying clothes.

I know nothing about Helena, other than what happened in that monastery.

“You will do well. If it’s Ian.”

“That’s right.”

“Compared to Sylvia, who said she would never follow Ian unless he waited right in front of the dressing room… .”

Like Vivian, Helena ordered a total of 12 sets.

Combat uniforms that are enchanted just like Vivian will suffice.

Considering your position, you might need plate armor, but that’s for later.

‘I don’t know how the old blacksmith is doing.’

I bought one more set of ready-to-wear clothes to wear today, and walked down the promenade together.

“Helena. Is the training worth it?”

“Hmm… . Honestly, it’s hard!”

“I really like honesty.”

“Thank you! But it’s fun!”

“What is it?”

“Hmm… . I’m not sure, but I feel like my body is alive every time I move vigorously!”

You don’t know much, do you?

It’s something I like very specifically. That’s it?

“And it’s even better when you get praised by Ian!”

“Hmm… . It’s not good if you do it too often. I guess I should hold back on my praise.”

“… I will work harder to receive praise!”

Even if I make a joke, they accept it with great enthusiasm.

Helena is clearly a dull person.

It is a contrast to Vivian, who is without a doubt a genius.

Still, I have enough potential, and I have the will to work hard, so it’s okay.

“Is it worth living with Vivian?”

“Hmm… .”

I didn’t expect you to hesitate here.

Vivian and Helena don’t have angular personalities, do they?

Vivian may be a bit shy, so we haven’t gotten to know her yet.

“Vivian is a kind and good person!”

“You said it’s better to be honest, but can you change your mind or not?”

“That… . A little difficult.”

“Is Vivian difficult?”

“Hmm… . Vivian is an outstanding person in many areas. On the other hand, I don’t know how to do anything properly yet… . I’m worried that I’m becoming a nuisance!”

I thought so.

“I’m too worried. You haven’t trained for a few days. Even if I say I can’t keep up, I haven’t even used a miracle yet.”

“That’s right… I do!”

“You may be worried because you are a party mate, but there is no need to be. Helena just needs to focus on what she needs to do.”

“Okay!”

“Still, thank you for being honest.”

All I had to do was acknowledge their concerns and let them know that I was rooting for them.

There is nothing more that can be done right now.

All that remains is for Helena to surpass herself.

Since we were already out, Helena asked why I decided to become a warrior.

Helena briefly gathered her thoughts and answered straight away.

A past where he became a superhuman at a young age and was unable to do anything while his family died far away.

As a result, he was driven by a desire for revenge and desperately wanted to become a warrior.

It’s revenge… .

It is one of the most common motivations that motivate people.

At the same time, it is also a shackle that binds one’s life to only revenge.

Her past, where she had to curse her own weakness, seemed to be looking at me.

“Is the reason you followed me an extension of that revenge?”

“No.”

Helena answered without hesitation.

“Ian is the only person who recognized my value and acknowledged it. For the first time, I felt like I had found my purpose in the world.”

Soon Helena looked at me and smiled brightly.

“I followed Ian because I wanted to be recognized for his value and meet his expectations!”

The motivation is to have your own worth recognized.

Should I call this pure or calculated? .

It doesn’t matter what happens as long as you follow along.

“Please count on me… . More than Aria?”

“… Yes, that’s right! Let’s try it!”

I like confidence.

*

Like Vivian, Helena decided to focus only on diet, exercise, and rest for the first two weeks.

And today is the day Helena writes a miracle.

Helena was very excited with anticipation.

It’s because I heard Vivian’s story yesterday.

I heard a rumor from Vivian and myself that an ice tower was built in the back training area with the first magic that was used after saving it for 14 days, so it’s something to look forward to.

Same goes for me.

Today, Helena was also wearing the sportswear that Taylor gave her.

“Umm… .”

This outfit is full of Taylor’s taste.

They said they had brought a baby, and they added a cute feel to it with orange and light green colors.

The clothes look like orange, so they match well… .

“Hmm… .”

Helena kept looking at her body and Vivian back and forth, wondering what she was dissatisfied with.

“Why is that… .”

“My breasts have become smaller!”

I was about to ask, but I kept my mouth shut.

Helena palmed her breasts.

No, it’s not that small… .

“Mercy, you tell me.”

“Hmm? Why don’t you do it?”

“I am that… . No, it’s okay, so hurry up.”

“Hmph. Isn’t it uncomfortable to have your chest shaking when you run? This tight to prevent the shaking! It’s because it’s tight.”

“Aha!”

Helena’s eyes fell on something aggressive about Vivian.

I instinctively followed his gaze and closed my eyes.

“It looks like Vivian hasn’t gotten any smaller!”

“This is also smaller… .”

… Should we at least give Helena some sex education?

“Now it’s done.”

When I opened my eyes, Mercy was right in front of me with a smiling face.

“Get out of the way, man.”

Mercy has been pulling pranks like this from time to time.

“Chet. I’m not even surprised anymore.”

“It should be once or twice.”

“Hmph. Even if you ask me to do it later, I won’t do it.”

“I don’t ask for it. Helena, do you know what day you are doing today?”

“Yes!”

Helena’s eyes lit up as if she couldn’t bear it because she was so excited.

“Stay calm and remember the order, right?”

“Yes!”

Hexproof, Heal, Ignite.

We will first check the most important protection.

As long as the protection is as good as I expect, healing is less important since the two won’t get hurt.

Likewise, Vivian alone now has a lot of firepower in the party, so scorching heat is also less important.

“Let’s try!”

Helena stretched one hand forward and concentrated.

Fortunately, I quickly got over the habit of praying with both hands together and eyes closed.

A soft yellow light emanated from Helena’s body, and a convex barrier in the shape of a hemisphere unfolded in front of her.

“Wow… .”

Vivian was unconsciously impressed.

It was a decent size.

The barrier was as big as she was tall, above and to the sides.

It doesn’t have the same majesty as Vivian’s ice tower, so it’s not at the level of a temporary hero.

You’ll have to test it to find out exactly, but the hardness and semi-elasticity weren’t bad.

“This is my first time using a shield like this… !”

Helena also seemed embarrassed and stuttered.

Certainly, this can be called a barrier rather than a protective shield.

“Umm… .”

“I, Ian? Are you saying you don’t like it…? ?”

“Hmm… . Rather than saying I don’t like it… .”

It’s excellent, but it’s only slightly greater than the maximum shown by memory correction.

Looking at my mana status these days, it might be better… .

I will grow in the future, but I need to be clear when I speak.

“Helena.”

“Yes… !”

“Good job. It’s definitely better than before. But, to be honest, it’s a bit lacking. I think we can do more… .”

“… … .”

Helena smiled awkwardly and lowered her head.

This is her first time being pointed out like this.

Vivian was also nervous.

“Is this the maximum for now?”

“… yes. Yes.”

“I understand. You will get better with future training. Don’t be too upset.”

“Yes… .”

“And well, it’s been two weeks now. Who can guarantee that it will work out right away? However, since you are following the training schedule well, you will grow quickly.”

Since I didn’t want to use too much stick, I also threw carrots in moderation.

This is an important time to control pace.

“Okay… !”

Helena then showed burning and healing.

This one didn’t live up to expectations, but it wasn’t something I had high expectations for, so it was okay.

“It’s okay. I said from the beginning, I’m looking for someone who specializes in defense miracles. There is no need to be discouraged.”

“Yes… !”

Vivian also checked the state of her magic.

You used all three magics I taught you last time excellently.

Lightning Bolt, Wind Cutter, Water Ball.

With this, Vivian can now handle all basic projection magic.

“Hehe… .”

When I see that embarrassed smile, Marie’s words come to mind.

Humility is also a deception.

The scope and speed of growth is enormous.

Helena’s expression when she saw that was smiling, but it was not an easy smile.

It’s a pity, but there’s nothing we can do.

No matter how much I help you, getting over the wall is up to you.

Maybe he felt something similar to an inferiority complex while looking at Vivian.

Today I need to praise you more than usual.

“Inspection completed. I’m going to train now, but my schedule will be slightly different going forward. Well, there’s nothing special… .”

The two must learn how to work together from now on.

Helena has to practice miracles again starting today.

“Vivian will learn a new magic, and I will tell you about it separately.”

“Yes.”

“Helena will add miracle training to her autonomous training starting today.”

“Yes!”

Certainly, just one more person increases the number of things to do.

***

Evening self-training time.

Helena came to the training ground alone.

Mercy wanted to improve the quality of her cooking, so she went out with Katy to find a high-end restaurant.

Vivian was studying, and Ian was adjusting his future schedule.

It’s free time so you can train alone, but you have to let Ian know.

Because Katy has to come and report on the condition.

Even that seemed like an obstacle to her colleagues, so Helena secretly came out.

‘I’m still not good enough… .’

Talent is talent, but the absolute time devoted to efficient training itself is far short.

Even if you fill up as much time as Vivian, there is no guarantee that you will do as well.

‘More, harder…’ .’

All Helena could do was try.

An effort that is ignorant and puts a strain on the body.

‘Ian would be disappointed… .’

Ian said it didn’t meet his expectations, but he didn’t say he was disappointed.

He even comforted me by saying that I just need to work harder in the future.

However, Helena could not feel at ease.

‘I have to work harder. I have to meet Ian’s expectations… .’

It is said that Vivian’s magic skills improved significantly through simple physical training and diet.

‘I may not be able to keep up with the intensity of the physical training yet.’

So, Helena ran.

I didn’t stop even though the breath I was taking in was blocking my throat and I felt like I was suffocating.

Ian’s expectations aren’t the only problem.

It may also be a nuisance to Vivian.

‘I can’t do that… . I work harder… . no. You can’t work too hard. You have to do well. must.’

I don’t even know how much time has passed.

It was around this time that it became difficult to even be aware of whether my body was moving.

Helena fainted and fell down.

***

[master.]

‘huh?’

[Helena is missing.]

‘… No? Since when?’

[From the traces, it looks like he didn’t come in after dinner. It is said that Vivian did not see it either.]

“Hmm… .”

What is our quick-witted nun doing?

‘I’ll look for it. Let me know when you come back.’

[yes.]

Finding Helena wasn’t difficult.

I was running along the outskirts of the training ground at the back.

I wonder how much I regret my own weakness.

I didn’t stop her right away.

Some people need moments like this when they try to push themselves to their limits.

It is pointless to block it.

I just waited, wondering what I would say to comfort Helena later.

Then a thought occurred to me.

‘Could it be a mental problem? .’

Helena’s protection is truly below expectations.

I thought that might be the case, but honestly, it’s a bit strange.

Helena’s physical condition improved significantly compared to when she stayed at MacDerlin Abbey.

It is certain that we are seeing that the flow of mana is stabilizing day by day.

However, the protection output came out lower than I expected.

This means that it may not simply be a physical problem.

If your mind or spirit is uncomfortable or in danger, it affects your body.

Of course, it is bound to become an obstacle to realizing a miracle.

‘… but. Maybe I’m not completely trustworthy yet. Or maybe it’s because it’s hard to believe in yourself.’

What should I do to comfort myself to find peace of mind?

It’s a probability, but I think there’s a high probability that Helena’s emotional instability is suppressing Helena’s capabilities.

In the extreme, the difference between when Sylvia escaped the trauma of murder and when she did not was quite severe.

In the end, I am at the important point.

You need to trust them and comfort them well.

‘… But how long will it run?’

Helena, who was struggling, fell to the floor.

He appears to have fainted, as he shows no sign of waking up.

‘You’re working so hard. I’m thankful, but I also feel sorry.’

I organized the words that came to mind and approached her.