episode_0047

It was clear that Erto would change his attitude without looking back once he was alone.

When I tried to say kind words and give him a warm smile, my body wouldn’t listen to me.

As if by inertia, she simply repeated the actions she had been doing.

‘Why?’

Is it because I’ve been living with a mask on for so long?

The mask was pressed completely against the face and would not come off.

‘No, this is not it, my heart… my true feelings…!’

While thinking rationally on one hand,

“Even if it’s late, I highly appreciate the part where you figured out the topic!”

Strange words came out of his mouth, as if they had some other intention.

“From now on, I hope you live your life dreaming of dreams that are worthy of your vessel! Oh-hohohoho!”

‘No! No!’

Something was going terribly wrong.

It was time to stop hurting Erto.

I already know that no matter how much he bullies and belittles me, I am a being that will not break.

Why does he still lie?

It was as if I had been eaten by the character ‘Elconja’ that I had been acting as.

Why, why.

I told you to stop.

Why can’t you be honest, Seldianne?

Why are you still hiding the feelings you wanted to convey so desperately?

Even while he was hesitating and hesitating like that, Erto continued to move forward without stopping.

Even though he felt lonely after parting with Brood, he accepted the suggestions of himself and others and endured harsh training.

And he achieved incredible growth in a very short period of time, beating himself, who had an overwhelming lead, and advancing to the semi-finals of the Yeonmu Festival.

Now he was no longer a lowly commoner.

Not only in his attitude towards himself, but even in his own strength, he was truly becoming closer to a dazzling prince.

It was rather his own fault for standing still.

There are no obstacles anymore.

The overwhelmingly powerful opponent, Tirissia Brewerd, has withdrawn from the match.

Why can’t I just take one step?

For the first time in her life, Celdiane realized that she was a cowardly and weak human being.

Because I’ve been getting what I want without any hindrance so far.

She simply did not have the courage to reach out for something she was not sure she could reach.

What if Erto hates me?

What if I confess and then get rejected?

Such vague fears were blocking the next step that Celdianne had been planning for a long time.

In fact, I really wanted to congratulate him on his growth.

When he broke himself, the joy he felt for him was greater than the bitterness of defeat.

Honestly, I wanted to praise Erto and raise a toast with him.

But I couldn’t even show that little bit of sincerity and I missed the opportunity.

No, just a little more,

If you give me just a little more time…

When I’m mentally ready, I’ll tell him that I really like him.

While Celdianne was hesitating, an unexpected disaster struck.

Erto’s public execution mobilizing all students from the Academy.

The students, completely impressed by Kelg Durakal’s tongue, were furious and tried to completely erase Erto’s presence from the Academy.

What was even more shocking was that he himself had to take the position of head of the noble coalition leading the plan.

He remained silent, not showing any sign of meaning.

But the nobles naturally elected Elkonja as their representative.

Because the highest ranking Elkonza had to represent the will of all the nobles.

Celdianne was genuinely hesitant to sit down.

No, I just wanted to reject it.

To be at the forefront of erasing the person you love from the Academy.

Regardless of whether the execution was appropriate or not, what kind of crazy person would do such a thing?

It was a request that was absolutely unacceptable.

but-

For Seldianne, who had lived her entire life as a noblewoman, there was something she could never give up: her reputation.

Although my love for Erto was short,

The time I have lived as an elcon is my entire life.

If he were to voice his opposition to his expulsion, he would be breaking the trust the nobles had placed in him.

It was clear that he would be considered a traitor who had betrayed the cause of all the nobles.

Elkonja was one of the most powerful noble families, but that did not mean they were so tyrannical that they would turn all nobles against them and become isolated.

Even if they are a noble family, they are ultimately a part of society.

If you become a public enemy there, an unbearable future will surely unfold.

Such fear sent a chill down Celdianne’s spine.

Her position as Elkonza, the representative of the nobility, and her love for a man named Erto.

I had to weigh the two and choose one.

‘…perhaps, perhaps.’

In that way, Celdianne managed to recall a single ray of hope in the midst of her confusion.

‘If it’s Erto, won’t it be okay?’

A truly selfish, mean, and cowardly hope.

Erto has taken all the verbal abuse and criticism I’ve received so far without a problem.

Wouldn’t it be okay to hurt you one last time?

If it were Erto, wouldn’t he accept his fate even if he were kicked out of the academy?

Then his life could be rebuilt later by Elkonza’s power.

Since he only considers you as his friend, wouldn’t he be able to understand even if you committed a dirty betrayal once in a while?

I wonder if they’ll just let it go, since there must have been some reason.

If we meet again later and give him strength, won’t he come to me and call me by my name, Seldian, without any hesitation?

With such dangerous hopes, she eventually became the leader of the noble alliance.

And the result is―

“AAAHH …

Seldianne buried her face in the bed once again and roared.

Why did I dream of such vain hopes?

Why didn’t you take his feelings seriously?

Why did he think that no matter how much he hurt Erto, he would be okay?

Erto is, in the end, just an ordinary person.

It was natural for a person to feel pain when hit and to feel heartbroken when spoken to harshly.

Why did he think he was some fairy tale prince who would accept anything he did?

Now he no longer called himself Seldian.

The noble lady was called Elkonja.

As a friend, he didn’t even speak to me informally like he usually does.

He spoke respectfully to a high-ranking noble.

“I hate it… I hate it… !”

The edges of the sheets covering the bed began to get damp.

Tears pour out of her crimson eyes without stopping.

Regretting her past foolishness, Celdiane repeatedly pounded her fist on the bed.

It was nice to hear Erto call my name. I was so happy.

Miyu and Juri were always nagging him, but in reality, that was exactly the title he wanted.

Seldianne. Seldianne. Seldianne.

His beloved voice keeps ringing in my head.

“Ahh… Erto!”

Now the grandfather clock on the wall was pointing to 5 a.m.

Celdianne cried, moaned, and cursed her past self all night long.

There was always an opportunity to stop.

There was plenty of time to get off the wrong path.

Even after Erto’s trust was completely destroyed.

He wasn’t even angry at himself.

I was just trying to cut off the relationship.

I can now see what a great consideration that was.

It was the last act of affection as a friend, to let all his mistakes flow into oblivion without holding him accountable.

The foolish and cowardly himself kicked Erto’s heart away.

Until the very end, I couldn’t even apologize to him or give him a sincere confession, and I just kept spewing out verbal abuse like I always did.

Oh, what a cowardly and selfish liar I am.

“You idiot… You idiot…! You idiot―!”

Celdianne crouched on the floor and beat her own head with her fists.

Now there was really nothing that could be undone.

He completely ruined everything with his own hands.

Erto would now think of himself as an enemy, not even someone else.

The last time I saw his expression. The last words he said.

Every time I thought of them, my heart felt like it was being torn into a hundred pieces.

“Ahh… I’m sorry… I’m sorry… !”

The mouth that would often spit out apologies when he wasn’t there was disgusting.

But even if I told him that now, it would be meaningless.

It’s over. Celdiane’s first love. In the worst way.

“… … ”

Celdianne, who had been crouching and crying for a long time,

“… No,”

I slowly opened my eyes, placed my hands on the floor, and raised my body.

“No.”

A ray of determination appears in those crimson eyes.

“It shouldn’t end like this.”

Clenching her fists on her knees, Celdianne realized, as if by revelation, what she had to do.

Even though it’s already too late,

Even if it doesn’t mean anything,

I had something to tell him.

“Even if you don’t listen, lady… ”

Beyond the distant horizon, the sun revealed its presence. Dawn was coming to an end.

”Just this once, let me be honest with you. Seldianne.“

Seldianne made her final resolution as she broke away from her past self and welcomed a new morning.