episode_0046
by admin
#46
“I hate hearing those kinds of self-deprecating words, don’t you?”
A gut feeling that something big was going on flashed through my head.
“… Sup.”
You can see raindrops or tears forming in the corners of Zia’s eyes.
He seems clearly angry, but I don’t know why.
Is it just like Zia just said, that you don’t like the way I put myself down?
… I don’t know, but first, an apology.
“Jia, I’m sorry.”
I softly apologized to Gia.
however,
“… .”
Jia, with her lower lip slightly protruding, said nothing.
Just quietly step forward, keeping pace with my footsteps.
It seems like Jia is really angry.
… I can see you’re not even making eye contact.
‘What should I do…?’
In the atmosphere that was as cold as ice, I was flustered and checking Jia’s reaction,
“Whew… . Mister.”
“Why do you keep putting yourself down like that?”
Zia sighed deeply and then spoke in a slightly sharp voice as if she didn’t understand.
“… .”
The reason I put myself down… .
If I had to be specific, it might be because my self-esteem feels a little low, even to me.
… I can guess the reason.
The small experiences that have accumulated since my days in orphanage have now become my attitude.
‘It may be just a sense of entitlement.’
“That, that’s upsetting, hearing that… Tell me. Why do you keep doing that?”
Zia keeps pressing me for an answer.
It seemed like he wouldn’t let up until he heard an answer that he could understand.
“… .”
Looking into Ji-ah’s eyes, I was troubled, and finally, with difficulty, I opened my mouth to begin to speak.
“Jiaya.”
“… What.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.”
“The apology is enough… I’m just curious. Why are you doing that? What a wonderful person you are… ”
Jia continues speaking with her head bowed.
‘What a wonderful person.’
Seeing Jia adding awkward words that she normally wouldn’t say, perhaps to encourage me… I almost snickered.
Thanks to that, I think I can talk a little more honestly.
I spoke carefully.
“Jia, you know that I’m from an orphanage, right?”
“Yes?”
I see Zia’s eyebrows slightly shaking as she hears what I say.
…To suddenly bring up the topic of daycare centers, I actually think it seems a bit unfair.
But of course, it is not my intention to cause trouble for Gia.
Let’s just say that I just wanted to take this opportunity to let out all the pent-up feelings in my heart.
“It’s not easy to be labeled as someone from an orphanage.”
I continued speaking in as calm a tone as possible so as not to make the atmosphere feel heavy.
“Ever since I was little, if something went missing in class, I was always suspected. Sometimes I even got into trouble.”
As I recalled the slightly bitter memories, a bitter smile came to my face without me realizing it.
“I used to be really timid. I’ve been like that a few times even as an adult.”
As a child, I was bullied by my classmates because I came from an orphanage.
When we are young, the distinction between good and evil is ambiguous, so we have no qualms about rejecting others.
After listening to me, Jia bit her lips slightly as if trying to suppress her anger and said:
“That’s… too much.”
“Well, it’s in the past.”
Of course, not all children in foster care have that experience.
My daycare classmate – Chanhee, unlike me, got along well with everyone his age.
Thanks to him, I was able to adapt well starting from middle school.
So this is just kind of an excuse.
“Anyway. As things like that kept happening over and over again… I started to develop a sense of entitlement. Rather than criticizing others, it was easier for me to say that I was lacking.”
After hearing what I said, Zia lowered her head with a gloomy expression.
“And… ”
It would have been better if you had just said that.
Maybe it was because of the gloomy weather, but I ended up saying things I didn’t want to say.
“Besides, I had a friend who was like family… … ”
‘ah.’
But ironically, the rest of the words wouldn’t come out, as if something was stuck in my throat.
Is it because I don’t want to bring up the fact that the guy is dead?
In the end, only ambiguous words that seemed to express emotions came out of my mouth.
“I hated the fact that I didn’t even know that my so-called best friend was having a hard time… I hated myself so much.”
The hand holding the umbrella naturally gains strength.
I bit my lip as I forced myself to move forward, trying to stop at the side of the road.
“… .”
And for a moment, an awkward atmosphere enveloped me and Jia.
Pork
Zia, who was next to me, stopped walking, buried her face in my shoulder, and quietly opened her mouth.
“… I’m sorry.”
“Huh? What.”
“I just felt like I got angry without knowing the circumstances… .”
The reason why the shoulder blades that Jia was holding felt damp was probably because of the raindrops that were falling without her noticing even now.
“Jia, it’s really okay, don’t worry about it.”
“… Yes.”
I tilted my umbrella to keep the raindrops from splashing towards Zia.
“… .”
After a while, Zia lifted her head from my shoulder… but she still looked very depressed.
As I was looking at that sight and a feeling of guilt was rising inside me, Zia spoke softly.
“Still, don’t say that from now on.”
“Yeah.”
Tsdam tsdam. I gently ran my hand through Gia’s shiny black hair, as if I was petting a cat.
‘Oh my, that’s amazing.’
I was concerned about other people passing by, but it didn’t really matter since they wouldn’t be able to see me well because of the umbrella.
Is it because I stroke my hair relatively often?
“… Chi.”
Even though it looks a little prickly, I don’t think I hate it that much.
Well, I don’t plan on petting it for a thousand years.
After a while, I took my hand away from stroking Zia.
“… You can do more.”
“Huh?”
“It’s nothing… !”
“Jia! Let’s go together! You’ll get rained on!”
I chased after Zia, whose steps suddenly quickened.
.
After a while.
“Huh.”
The atmosphere that had been as cold as ice just a moment ago melted away,
Jia is back to being the new Jia.
… Seeing that kind of Ji-ah, I suddenly felt like playing a prank.
“By the way, I didn’t know our Jia would think of me like that. Isn’t that touching, sir?”
I said in a sly voice.
Then…
“Aya.”
… Zia quietly pinches my waist.
When I turned my head to check my face, I saw Jia’s face with her eyes wide open.
‘That’s annoying.’
Finally, Jia spoke with her mouth sticking out.
“Of course. Who wants to hear gossip about someone they like?”
“Huh?”
“… Ah.”
The moment Gia finished speaking, a heavy silence fell between us for a moment.
I was so dumbfounded that I just stared blankly at Jia.
“Of course, family… Oh, not really family, but anyway. That’s not what I meant…! My words are slipping out of my mouth… .”
All over the place.
Jia began to collect her words in a new voice.
“You, calm down. I understand.”
“What do you know…! Oh, really… This isn’t it… Go home quickly!”
Jia strides forward with her face completely red.
I looked at the back of his head,
“… Surely not, right?”
Just in case, I stood there and muttered blankly.
***
And that evening.
‘… suspicious.’
After going out, Mina came to help Dohan at the store…
“Excuse me, sir. One Junbuck from table number 3, one last word.”
“Uh uh.”
…I noticed a subtle change in the air flowing between the two.
“Hmm.”
Of course, the tone of voice isn’t much different from usual…
‘They’re both strangely avoiding eye contact.’
After observing the two while helping out at the store, Mina became certain.
‘What happened…!’
Min-ah came to the conclusion that something must have happened between Ji-ah and Do-han while she was away, and from then on, she watched for an opportunity.
Soon, the store became quiet.
“Hey, Jia. Did you have a good day at school today? Did you make any friends?”
Minah approached Jia stealthily and started talking.
“Oh, yes. I think I have a friend.”
Ji-ah thought of Se-young who had lent her the comic book, and answered Min-ah as it was.
By the way, the comic book she lent me was still in Jia’s school bag that she had left at home.
“Oh, really? Is it a boy?”
“Of course not… How could that be?”
Gia glanced at Dohan and shook her head.
“Hoo.”
Soon, Jia let out a sigh, bent down, and began cleaning the floor with a mop.
‘… I want to bite it.’
Min-ah had to resist the urge to hug Ji-ah right away when she saw her like that.
“Ahem.”
Mina, who eventually won the battle with her inner beast.
She then approached Zia, who was still cleaning the floor, and spoke to her.
“… Did you confess by any chance?”
in result.
Kkudangtang.
“Ji, Ji-ah?! Are you okay?!”
“I was so surprised that I straightened up, and then… Huh, my back hurts… .”
The voices of Ji-ah, who had fallen over with her back bent, and Min-ah, who didn’t know what to do, filled the store.
“What’s going on?!”
Along with Dohan’s panicked voice as he ran in.
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