episode_0044

“Gone? Nowhere to be found? Not in the northern region at all?”

The deep sense of unease gradually becomes a reality.

The events of the future, one year ahead, feel like yesterday, and the day we promised to get married feels like just yesterday.

But why. Why.

Why is Eugene not by my side right now?

“Ha…”

Eugene is not here.

Nowhere to be found.

All the photos we took together have disappeared.

Even burying my face in the bedding in the living room, I can’t smell his scent.

Searching the entire northern region, asking around, but I couldn’t find him at all.

“Master. It seems like that person doesn’t exist…”

“That can’t be true! Search more thoroughly!!!”

As if he never existed in the first place.

As if I had dreamt it all.

His touch that used to soothe my ears feels so vivid.

His scent feels like it’s right in front of my nose.

There is so much evidence that he was by my side overflowing inside me.

But everyone just keeps repeating that he doesn’t exist.

“Do you still not believe me?”

“I believe you. Of course, I believe you, Master.”

“Don’t lie! You don’t believe me! It’s true! I came from the future! Shall I prove it? It was July, so, one month from now! A big fire breaks out at Caronne’s house! Two months later, it snows for a whole week! Three months later, Eugene’s boots are completed and come out! And that month, Eugene confesses his love to me! Just watch! Everything I say will come true!”

“Yes. I believe you…”

They all say they believe with their mouths, believe, believe…

Nonsense.

No one believes.

Everyone thinks I’m crazy.

That I’m making up a person who doesn’t exist.

Eugene is real.

He was real.

That fragment-like face is still vividly remembered… huh?

“I can’t see it. I can’t see Eugene’s face…”

It’s becoming blurry.

Eugene’s face is getting blurry.

Startled, I rush into the room.

Grabbing a pencil, I try to draw his face on paper.

This is not it.

Again.

Once more.

Again…

“Aaargh!”

My hand won’t follow.

I can’t transfer the image in my head onto paper at all.

Even now, Eugene’s face is gradually becoming blurry.

All that’s left on the paper covering the floor are vague, cloud-like silhouettes.

I can’t draw Eugene.

It’s like there’s a fundamental block preventing me from turning the image of Eugene in my head into reality.

“Why! Why is this happening!”

Frustrating.

I can’t breathe properly.

Eugene is a real person.

But why doesn’t anyone believe me?

*Sob…*

When I close my eyes, the scene from that day unfolds vividly.

The ice cave, reflecting light here and there, creating beautiful light patterns in the air.

My sanctuary, giving me peace since childhood.

Walking with Eugene into the cave.

Leaving behind the clunky armor and sword.

Wearing a pure white dress I never wore before.

Holding Eugene’s hand, we enter deeper into the cave.

He whispers love in a sweet voice.

Forgiving me for doubting him all this time.

Exchanging tokens of love on our ring fingers.

And finally, the moment our lips touch.

Time stands still.

Outside the cave, a strange light flashes.

Eugene falls with a stern expression, turning his back on me.

I want to hold him.

But my body won’t listen at all.

I want to call out to him, but no sound comes out of my throat.

Eugene finally escapes outside the cave.

And my memory cuts off there.

Right after that, I return to a year ago.

At first, I waited.

Until Eugene would come to Pallana.

Every day, I went to the mountains, waiting for the immature-looking man who came on the transcontinental train.

Something seemed off two months ago.

Yujin, who should have arrived earlier, was nowhere to be found.

Could it be that he had already arrived in the north, but our paths crossed?

Was he somewhere in the north, living his life?

With that thought in mind, I searched the north thoroughly.

I searched for the name Yujin.

I searched for a man who wielded strange swordsmanship.

I wandered, looking for a man who made my heart race just by looking at him, a man I wanted to rely on.

“Master, please stop here and take care of the state…”

“Who said I should stop!”

That’s how it went for a month.

Without any results, without even finding a trace of Yujin, a whole month passed.

It was an unpleasant thought, but maybe he was killed by wild animals.

So for ten days, I searched every mountain path near Palana.

I sniffed out places with the smell of blood, dug up places with the stench of decaying bodies.

Unfortunately or fortunately, Yujin did not appear.

He should be somewhere, shouldn’t he?

At least there should be some evidence of his existence.

But why has no one ever seen Yujin?

Why is there no record of him?

Everything is the same as in my memory.

Except for the fact that Yujin is not by my side.

Only Yujin is inexplicably missing.

Maybe what the spirits said is true.

Maybe Yujin is not a real person.

Maybe I am chasing after an illusion.

I harbored countless doubts.

I tried to forget many times.

I even got caught up in the idea that I should give up.

“I can’t give up… I can’t forget… How can I forget…”

But I failed repeatedly.

Even when I tried to forget, I couldn’t help but remember Yujin’s rough yet affectionate touch and tender voice.

I couldn’t let go of hope.

“Alicia. This is just for you…”

“Yes, yes! What is it? Tell me anything. Lately, you’ve been acting strange. I thought I was going crazy from frustration.”

“I have a favor to ask. Find someone for me.”

I have only searched the northern continent so far.

The southern continent is much larger and has many more people.

It would be foolish to give up before searching the south.

“A tall man with northern lineage, handsome. Very.”

“Do you have more specific details?”

“Well. He knows how to wield a sword, strong. Very strong.”

“How strong is that?”

“Strong enough to defeat me.”

“Hmph. You’re teasing me now, aren’t you, sister?”

I carefully chose the person to send.

Only people I could trust.

Only people who wouldn’t betray me even if I revealed my weaknesses.

“What’s his name?”

“Well… It’s not a definite name. He might use a different name elsewhere…”

I hesitated to say the name.

In a world where no one knows of Yujin’s existence.

In a place where only I remember Yujin.

I felt reluctant to teach Yujin’s name to someone who didn’t know him.

It was a name I wanted to keep to myself.

A person I wanted to monopolize.

“Um, so what is it?”

“Yujin…”

Nevertheless, I gathered the courage to teach the name to a few close aides.

And then I sent them to various places in the south.

I bid farewell to those who held my last hope.

“I’m sorry. The man you mentioned doesn’t seem to be in Hameln.”

“The same goes for Cologne.”

“There are no men matching the criteria in Pettenburg.”

“I’m sorry, sister. We couldn’t find the man you’re looking for in Basel.”

“Ugh…”

Messages kept coming from my aides.

Futile, futile, and more futile.

Even my last hope was denied.

Every possible place where Yujin could be was searched.

Even impossible places were searched.

In the end, it was revealed that my misunderstanding was unfounded, but I couldn’t find any trace of Yujin meeting a saint or a witch.

“Where did you go, Yujin······.”

That day.

A moment when time stood still.

Where did Yujin go, leaving me behind?

With a determined expression as if she had made up her mind, where did she go?

While pondering on the bed, a chilling possibility suddenly crossed my mind.

“Oh······!”

Could it be.

If all of this was Yujin’s decision?

If Yujin chose to disappear on her own?

Unbelievable scenarios started to take shape.

What did Yujin say that day?

What was the last thing she said?

“I’ve thought about it a lot. Our relationship has had its ups and downs, but every time, I reflected on it. I haven’t done anything wrong.”

At that time, it didn’t seem strange, but now, looking back, it was an unexpected statement.

My suspicions about Yujin were all due to my stubborn distrust.

Yujin had never once apologized to me.

And yet, she suddenly apologized.

As if someone facing their end.

As if someone about to die, she said words she had never said before.

“In the end, we concluded that we should carry this burden together. No matter what happens, I want to be with you for the rest of my life, Yerina. Will you marry me?”

I thought it was just a pledge of love.

I thought it didn’t hold much significance.

But now, examining each word carefully, it was quite meaningful.

I want to be with you for the rest of my life.

After leaving those words, Yujin left the cave with a stern expression, frozen in time.

She disappeared from my side.

Contradictory actions.

Now the meaning is clear.

“Are you asking me to find you······?”

Find me.

That was the meaning.

Because you believed in me.

Even if everyone else forgets about Yujin, I will remember and come to find her.

That’s why she was able to make such a cruel decision.

“I will find you. I will find you no matter what. Wait for me, Yujin. I will go and rescue you soon······.”

I have no idea where Yujin is.

She might be in a place physically unreachable.

She might be lingering in the gap of frozen time.

But I won’t give up.

I will find a way somehow.

No matter what it takes, I will bring Yujin back.

And I will hold her in my arms again······.