episode_0043

I don’t know when my memory stopped.

But Kamiel could tell that he was trapped somewhere.

‘This place… ‘Where is it?’

Were there any drugs in the car?

I lost consciousness in the blink of an eye and had just woken up.

It seemed like the hands and feet were tied to prevent him from escaping.

Fortunately, my eyes were not blocked, so I had no trouble looking around.

‘It’s dark.’

I understand that it is a very dark space.

My vision was so dark that I couldn’t tell what objects were around me.

Kamiel stopped trying to guess where this was.

I stopped moving around unnecessarily.

‘anyway… ‘Nothing will change just because you’re curious.’

As if my heart had disappeared, the place where it should have been was just empty.

‘The lady… You killed the villagers… .’

When people are too surprised, they can’t even get angry and say nothing… .

Kamiel felt exactly like that at the time.

It was shocking to hear the news of the villagers’ massacre.

The big truth is that the person who did it was none other than the lady I love.

It was too much for him, who was already unstable, to face.

‘every… ‘It happened because of me.’

Why did the lady do that? I also thought about it.

The conclusion was quite easy to come to.

‘I said you were visiting the village… I guess that’s where you found out.’

The process by which I found out was not important.

The fact that he was ultimately involved in the reason Rheasian went there… It made Kamiel blame himself.

‘The lady… ‘Do you love me?’

It was a sudden question. There was no need for an answer either.

Because I Love You. You must have done something like that.

When I thought about that, tears poured out.

“Inhale… … .”

Even though my nose was sniffling, there was no sobbing sound.

It seemed like there was no one around.

But that didn’t stop me from sobbing.

I feel so complicated and disturbed… .

It was quite funny that I couldn’t cry properly, like someone who had forgotten how to cry.

It would be better if I died early… .

Wouldn’t it have been better that way?

‘I’m sure the lady will be angry when she hears this, right?’

But once those thoughts started flowing through my head, I couldn’t stop them.

It must be because of a dream I suddenly had at night.

Because he witnessed the deaths of villagers from Cassat’s perspective.

And because I personally felt the death of my younger brother and my mother.

The clear, cool sensation felt like a small whisper.

It’s because of you.

Everyone died because of you.

It’s like you made her kill so many people.

… It felt like I was hearing these auditory hallucinations.

‘miss… .’

So do you blame the young lady?

actually… I had that feeling a little bit.

Because Kamiel is also a person who feels clear joys and sorrows.

but… Even those feelings have faded, to the point where I feel sorry for the rest of the ride.

He had done something wrong to Rheasian.

‘I shouldn’t have said that there… … .’

He said he did it for the young lady… The memory of talking nonsense that didn’t even sound like words tormented his mind.

‘It was all an ugly desire tainted by my selfishness. Because it was packaged in such disgusting words… ‘You deserved to be angry.’

The young lady is not so dull that she does not notice her feelings.

There was a high possibility that he would have noticed.

Well… That’s probably why he left in tears.

‘I promised myself that I wouldn’t make you shed even a single tear… .’

I guess it was an unreasonable promise.

As I sit still, there is only silence and darkness everywhere.

I felt disconnected from the world, as if I was spending the night on the open sea.

‘rather… Even if I had to die for you. That would be the only happiness for me.’

I don’t know what the problem is.

No, maybe what my father said was a lie.

but… Nevertheless, Kamiel easily accepted the ridiculous offer to sacrifice his heart.

‘I was destined to die anyway.’

And that too in the near future.

Still, it was a bit of a long-standing worry as to how I would face the end.

‘I thought of several ways. I suddenly thought about going into hiding… .’

Now that I have come back, I realize that this happened before I even put it into practice.

I thought maybe it was fortunate.

‘if… ‘If I had disappeared, what else would you have done?’

Lady loves.

But I didn’t love even the damaging things that the young lady did.

Even though love blindly trusts each other, it doesn’t mean accepting even nonsense.

We must be courteous to each other and say directly what needs to be fixed.

Kamiel believed that was the ideal romantic relationship.

‘Point out… I don’t know who to point out to my topic… .’

As if a shower had come and gone.

The corners of his eyes were moist, but there were no more tears.

Because after reflecting on the past, my mind calmed down to some extent.

‘by the way… ‘I’m sure you’ll understand, too, right?’

Thanks to calming down, I was now able to laugh and mutter jokes like this to myself.

understanding?

It couldn’t have been something he did in hopes of understanding.

It would be good if he could save the girl with his own heart.

If not, we would just break up early.

‘I am… ‘You’re running away again this time.’

Yes. This was no different from running away.

Just like the reason why I was reluctant to tell the young lady that she was terminally ill.

I had no confidence in being happy around a sad girl.

No, it was hard to see the young lady sad and suffering because of him.

entire… Even though he is self-centered, Kamiel knows well that he has nothing to say.

‘Like that for a day or two… I put it off day after day, but… No matter what happened, this was the end result.’

It was a predetermined ending.

Since there was no proper solution, no matter how closely it was a secret,

It would have been natural for it to be easily discovered.

‘It looks like he’s running away with the excuse of saving the young lady… .’

It’s ugly.

I was not qualified to be someone’s lover.

know. Even if the young lady was in danger of death.

You wouldn’t want to take the life of someone you love.

‘Even if… Even if I’m destined to die anyway. I’m sure you’ll say the same thing.’

Don’t be stupid.

Maybe he would swear.

From what I heard before, you were quite full of swear words.

“Hmm… .”

still… As I was reminiscing about this, the tension eased.

Camiel too… It’s my first time dying, so I’m not used to it.

He too was afraid. What is death?

It’s just that I didn’t show it until now.

Because I had to hide it from someone, and I didn’t want to worry anyone.

just… I just suffered alone inside.

* * *

“Master. Are you sure you want to do that?”

“Wasn’t it you who found this method?”

Lepurn gave a cold answer and was organizing something.

These were research materials that had been lying around on his desk.

“That’s… you’re right. However, no matter how much I think about it, I don’t think it’s possible. I just suggested it with a skeptical mind. So think again… ”

bang!

The paper fluttered in the air.

Lepurn slammed both fists on the desk.

And then he said coldly:

“Ilho. Until now, I have never thought about your words in vain. So, I have been looking for that one goal. however… what? Now you want me to think again?”

“Master. that… The owner at that time looked very dangerous, so I was wondering if he would be okay if I told him about it… ”

“Then… Are you saying you were trying to trick me? No, no. In the end, you were right. But number one. In the world, they call it deception.”

Lepurn slightly turned his head and looked back.

The light in the light brown eyes was eerie.

Like a person steeped in madness.

Ilho, seeing the look in his eyes, kept his mouth shut.

‘In that state… I guess you don’t want to hear anything… .’

I was devastated and closed my eyes.

Since when… .

Yeah, that was the problem.

After Saruna passed away, one of the ways I saved my master who was in despair.

It wasn’t the way I wanted to find Ilho.

This was the content in a book I found by chance while organizing my library.

I don’t know who wrote the book, but the content was unusual.

So I kept it in my mind for a while… .

The book suddenly came to mind as I saw the owner staring blankly out the window all day.

Of course, at first, Ilho dismissed the contents of the book as nonsense and delusion.

But that’s just the opinion of a criminal like you.

Ilho thought that the Larun people would still be different.

Even if it wasn’t, it didn’t matter.

As long as you overcome the current situation, whether the book is true or false.

Because there is no problem at all.

No, to be honest, Ilho thought deep down that the contents of the book couldn’t be true.

That’s right… .

There can be no way to revive a dead person, right?