episode_0042

The night I returned from my trip.

Even though it was time to go to sleep, Zia was lying with her eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling.

Memories of the weekend spent with Do-hyeon kept coming to mind, and it was difficult to fall asleep.

“… .”

When Jia was with Do-hyun, she was doing a lot of things for the first time.

Sex with a man you’re having for the first time, friendly interaction with a man you’re having for the first time, a trip just for two with a man you’re having for the first time.

and.

[Don’t worry, Gia. I’ll take responsibility.]

[Chae, you take responsibility?]

[Yes. So don’t worry.]

Even a heartfelt confession from a man you hear for the first time since birth.

When she was with Do-hyun, Ji-ah was constantly drawn into a world she had been avoiding.

[You really mean what you just said? You said you’ll take responsibility…]

[You can believe it because it’s true.]

The conversation I had with Do-hyun replays itself over and over in my head.

Then, without realizing it, Jia’s face turned red and she became dazed.

‘When you say you’re taking responsibility… does that mean that if I get pregnant, you’ll get married right away?’

What does it mean for a man to take responsibility for a woman?

What would it feel like to entrust your life to that man?

I never even thought about it before, but now I’m really curious.

But rather than being afraid of the unknown, I had a feeling that it would be very warm and reassuring.

Thanks to the trust that comes from his usually kind and manly side that he occasionally shows.

The orgasm that Zia felt when he roughly thrust into her and made her ejaculate was incomparable to any other pleasure.

‘I think it would be okay to entrust my life to Dohyun…’

Of course, I didn’t decide to do that.

But she thought that when the time came, she would naturally give herself to Do-hyeon.

‘When will that time be…?’

I couldn’t tell exactly.

Maybe the pregnancy will hasten that time, or maybe it will come after Zia has gained her mother’s approval and has become a person who is not ashamed of herself.

‘I have a feeling that this won’t work.’

Jia jumped up, returned to her desk, and opened the textbook she had been keeping closed.

Even if she entrusted her life to Do-hyeon, she couldn’t leave everything to him, so she had to grow more herself.

‘Let’s watch for two more hours and then go to bed.’

So, Jia unconsciously stroked her lower abdomen and focused on her studies.

—

A few days have passed since I returned from my trip with Ms. Jia.

The school atmosphere may have become more relaxed now that exams are over, but since I’m on a break anyway, there haven’t been any major changes to my daily routine.

My relationship with Ms. Jia… I’m not sure, but it seemed like there had been a little change.

Needless to say, I like Jia more now, and for some reason, I feel like Jia is more conscious of me than before?

Anyway, it was a good flow for me, who had no intention of stopping my relationship with her from a simple sex partner.

By the way.

… No contact today?

After finishing all my work, including working out and writing a novel, I lay down on the bed and looked at my phone.

At some point, Ha-eun started calling me at least once a day, and whenever she did, I would chat with her so she wouldn’t be lonely.

But for some reason today the phone didn’t ring and was silent.

…I guess I’ll take a walk.

Anyway, I was about to ask you to do an illustration for my novel.

Thanks to the cover, the average daily views increased by about 1.8 times, so I planned to continue this trend.

We also help with Ha-eun’s living expenses as she does not receive any support from her parents.

[Your phone is turned off, so after a ‘beep’ sound, it goes to voicemail…]

What? The phone is off.

It seems like the battery is dead or there is something going on.

Since we could talk about it tomorrow anyway, there was no reason to be impatient.

… I guess I’ll call it a night for today.

I fell into a leisurely sleep while thinking about the composition of the illustration I would ask Ha-eun to do once again.

—

One weekday evening a few days later.

I went to the busy street I often visited with a not-so-bright expression.

This was because Ha-eun’s phone had been turned off for several days.

…what’s going on?

I don’t know what it is, but if something big happens, Ha-eun has no one else to rely on but me.

When I thought about that, I couldn’t just stay in my room.

… Where can I go to meet you?

I came to the downtown area where I had encountered her many times, but I was at a loss as I was trying to find her without any contact.

In the first place, if something had happened, it would have been strange to be walking around here so peacefully.

Still, I felt like I had to do something, so I headed to the convenience store where Ha-eun often went for dinner.

Fortunately, my choice was not wrong.

Twenty minutes of watching the entrance to the convenience store from afar.

I found Ha-eun trying to go inside.

“Ha-eun!”

“Oppa? Wow, that’s so cool! How did we meet here? Are you going to the convenience store too?”

Contrary to my worries, she asked calmly.

But that doesn’t mean I can answer comfortably either.

“I was looking for you because I couldn’t reach you. Your phone kept turning off. What’s going on?”

“Your phone? Oh, my phone is broken, so I turned it off. I wanted to tell you, but I had no way to contact you… Hehe.”

When I see you smiling shyly, I feel a little relieved.

Maybe it was because I usually gave her the impression of being like a younger sister, but I seemed to be overly worried.

“What’s going on here?”

“I stopped by on my way back because the church is nearby. But why did you come looking for me?”

“No, it’s nothing special… Are you going to buy dinner at the convenience store again?”

“Yes, that’s right.”

I nodded as if it was obvious, but I couldn’t help but feel puzzled inside.

On top of your part-time salary, you also have to pay for the outsourcing of the cover art you received from me, so why are you eating dinner at a convenience store again?

Since I hadn’t eaten dinner yet, I took Ha-eun to a nearby restaurant.

I brought up the question I had while sitting at a table and eating.

“When are you going to fix my phone?”

“I’ll fix it when Albabee comes in.”

“It’s still far away, so why fix it now? It’ll be inconvenient in the meantime.”

“That’s… I don’t have money to get after-sales service. Heh.”

I tried to hide my embarrassment with a smile, but I continued to ask with a serious face.

“It hasn’t been that long since you received the bonus. But didn’t I give you some money too?”

“Yes. But I used them all up.”

Ha-eun tells an unexpected story in a calm manner.

Naturally, I was still serious.

“You said you didn’t have money because of something important before? Is it because of that this time too?”

“Yes, that’s right.”

The few times I heard that story, I thought it was a nod and didn’t ask, but now I think differently.

“Can you tell me what’s going on?”

Ha-eun’s answer when she returned was unexpected.

“Of course. I donated it all.”

“Donation? Where?”

“To churches and temples.”

“What?”

When I heard the word donation, I thought, “He is helping others even though he is having a hard time himself.”

But as soon as I heard that the target was a church or a temple, a strange feeling followed me.

“Why there…?”

“Mom and Dad are probably working hard to earn money so they can meet me again. I’m an adult now, so I shouldn’t just sit there and wait, I should do what I can.”

At that moment, when I couldn’t understand what she was saying, she continued speaking.

“So I donate to the church and pray to God to help my mom and dad.”

“… Since when have you been doing this?”

“Since I turned twenty and about a month old. This month, after hanging out with my brother, I donated the remaining living expenses.”

“… .”

My head is cluttered with many thoughts.

Still, rather than revealing my opinion openly, I asked as cautiously as possible.

“If I donate, God will help me?”

“Yes!”

“Who told you that?”

“That’s what happened at church. There are many ways to believe in God. Donating your income is one of them!”

“Did the church force you to do it?”

Ha-eun shook her head, wondering if she should be thankful.

“No. I did it because I wanted to. The pastor asked me why a student keeps donating like this, but I said it was okay.”

To be honest, I originally believed that there was no God.

But after meeting the goddess, I couldn’t be sure that the religions spread in society were false.

So if you ask me now whether God really exists or not, I would say I don’t know.

But one thing I was sure of.

Even if God really exists, Ha-eun won’t bring her parents, who have changed their minds, to him just because she donates her living expenses every month.

“I think it would be enough to just pray without having to donate… Do I really have to?”

Soon I was able to hear from Ha-eun about how she started donating.

She said that on the day she turned twenty, she finally became an adult as promised and that her parents would come to see her.

However, no matter how much he prayed and waited, his parents did not come to visit him. He said that he thought that it was because he had more debt to repay than he thought and that it would be difficult for his parents to come see him.

So, I thought about how I could pray more earnestly for God to help my struggling parents, and the way I found was through donations.

“… Ha-eun-ah. Isn’t there another way to express your earnest desire to God other than donating?”

“I thought about it too, but nothing came to mind. And even if there were, in my situation, donating would be the best way to convey my beliefs.”

“Even so, I had to cut down on living expenses… .”

“The Goddess said so too. If I live well and pray hard, my wish will surely come true. Donating is also one of my ways of praying.”

I am not Ha-eun’s father or older brother, and I am not in a position to tell her how to manage her money.

But I couldn’t understand the idea of saving money on food and putting off repairing my cell phone to donate to my parents who would never come back.

So I tried to persuade Ha-eun somehow.

I tried to get them to stop donating without hurting their feelings as much as possible.

But her desire to see her parents was strong, and her thoughts about donating did not change easily.

Our thoughts continued to diverge even after the meal, and I eventually decided to postpone this story until another time.

“Okay, I understand. By the way, I’d like to ask you to do some illustrations for the novel. Is that okay?”

“Yes, of course!”

“Okay. Then I’ll give you the money in advance, so you can get your phone repaired with that money first. Then we’ll talk about how to draw it. And since you donated a lot this month, let’s stop.”

“… Okay. Since it’s the money you gave me, I’ll listen to you.”

“Thank you. I need you to get it fixed tomorrow and contact me right away. Okay?”

The studio I returned to after breaking up with her.

My heavy heart wouldn’t go away, so I threw myself on the bed.

“Haaa… .”

A deep sigh that comes out without me knowing.

No matter how positively I try to think about it, Ha-eun’s current situation is problematic.

You donate to the church so much that you can’t even fix your phone and eat sparingly?

That means Ha-eun’s heart is earnest, so should we understand and move on?

…no.

If Ha-eun’s parents are still trying to meet their daughter, it would be difficult to say that her efforts were in vain.

But I heard clearly from the goddess.

They each live their own lives.

He said he had no intention of ever seeing his daughter again, whom he had been waiting for since childhood.

So, the money Ha-eun was spending and the time she was waiting were like pouring water into a bottomless pit.

…what should I do?

It was a moment when I was biting my lips helplessly and thinking.

It’s familiar, but lately, a dizzy feeling that I hadn’t felt in a long time has been creeping into my head.

When I came to, I was lying alone in the pure white sea, and the goddess was looking down at me.

“Dohyun, it’s been a while. How have you been?”

“… Yes.”

“I have come to you today again because I have something I would like to ask you without shame.”

“What about anyone else? I’m the only one here?”

“Yes. Today’s request is only for Do-Hyeon.”

It’s not that surprising.

Even when I played with Ha-eun and when I went on a trip with Ji-ah, I kept it a secret from them and fulfilled the goddess’ request.

“Let me get to the point quickly. Mr. Do-Hyeon, please… .”

But what she said next was enough to surprise me.

“Please help Ha-eun.”