episode_0042

Leasian wondered if he was dreaming.

Before, if I had a dream about my mother, I would dismiss it as a nightmare… .

This time the feeling was different.

‘Are you smiling?’

Eyes that are gently curved like a crescent moon and a mouth with a gentle smile.

Just looking at it made me feel loving.

Leasian had never seen his mother like that before.

No matter how much I smiled, I always ended up being sarcastic when dealing with myself.

So it was even weirder.

No matter how I looked at it, it didn’t seem like cynicism.

Because it didn’t look like he was making fun of himself.

Leasian.

“… you are. Didn’t it disappear?”

Unfortunately, that’s what happened.

Saruna said, bursting into laughter.

‘This time too… .’

It was a side he had never shown before.

‘what?’

Rheasian was disturbed by the unfamiliar appearance of Saruna.

The girl’s eyes trembled.

Could it be that he is so distressed that he is seeing meaningless things at will?

To the point where I even have that question… It was not easy for Rheasian to accept this situation.

Saruna took a hint at her daughter’s condition and lowered her head as if she understood.

I came here because I have something to tell you.

“To me… What should I say?”

okay. This is what you need to hear. After listening to everything I say, maybe… It might already be too late. So time is running out?

“Suddenly, time is running out… ”

Oh, do you want to talk more with this mother?

“Don’t say nonsense.”

Rheasian spoke reflexively.

And then he immediately flinched.

At least… Because those words weren’t all true.

She was also unfamiliar with this change in her feelings.

But now that the horse looked funny enough to bite him, he just stayed still.

Saruna said, lowering her eyes a little sadly at the sight of her daughter like that.

okay… . I see

“… … .”

Why?

Why do I suddenly act weak, which I don’t normally do?

Seeing something like that… What is it about me that makes me feel uncomfortable?

Leasian couldn’t understand himself right now.

It was strange.

She was at a loss for words as her emotions were so complex that there was no way to explain them other than this one word.

Leasian. The sins I have committed against you are too numerous to count.

“That… You say it with your mouth?”

what?

What if you never blamed yourself all your life?

No, I did.

But that was just about giving birth to a daughter.

That woman had never said a word ‘sorry’ to herself in her life.

While Rheasian was in the midst of embarrassment.

Saruna just watched her daughter in silence for a moment.

A great deal of guilt was evident in his appearance.

Saruna spoke softly, as if muttering forlornly.

It might be funny to even say this now. I understand because even that was something I brought upon myself.

“… how.

The first words the girl uttered with difficulty.

“… Why are you doing this? You have tormented me to death my whole life. You said you wish I were dead, right? You wanted me gone!”

These were words of age-old resentment.

Leasian blurted out all the words he had been holding inside.

And then he gasped.

Even though I wanted to, I couldn’t.

These were words that had no meaning.

Now that I have finally gotten it out of my mind and out of my mouth. This moment.

‘So you feel at ease?’

‘… no. ‘I don’t feel refreshed at all.’

Leasian watched his mother’s reaction.

‘Why, why are you doing that… .’

why? It would be better if all the inappropriate things I said up until now were just jokes.

I was secretly hoping that he would say it with a sarcastic tone like before.

but… .

‘If you make that kind of expression… ‘My mind just goes crazy.’

Saruna’s expression was calm.

But it didn’t seem like anything was wrong.

Rather, it was as if I was standing with my back to a cliff.

It was a look that was close to resignation, but also sad.

For you… All I can say is that I am truly sorry. I am truly sorry. I know what I did. It was not something a person would say, much less a mother would say to her daughter.

The sight of him admitting it as it was made Leashi’s mouth open blankly and then lower his head.

Saruna looked at her daughter and took one step, and then another. I took a step.

And then, just like yesterday. I stretched out my arm to my daughter who was also sitting there.

He immediately gave me a warm hug. It shared warmth.

“… also. It was you.”

Leasian muttered without raising his head.

Saruna didn’t respond and hugged her daughter even harder.

“I… Am I about to be punished by heaven? It really feels like you are hugging me… .”

… … .

There was a moment of silence.

Soon, a soft sound of sobbing rang out.

“It would have been better to have done this a long time ago… . You could have given it to me like this… … .”

… sorry. I’m really sorry.

Pat, pat… .

Rheasian could not hide his sense of emptiness as he felt a gentle tap on his shoulder.

Tears fall.

It was quiet again… .

* * *

After Leasian had calmed down a little, he sat down, and there was an awkwardness between the two.

“… … .”

… … .

We have never sat side by side like this before. It was all a first time.

hmm… … .

Even though it was Saruna, it was difficult to act like a friendly friend because of her sins.

Rather, it would have been a more pleasant landslide victory when he was unaware of his sins.

… Leasian. It’s hard to say anything, but please understand this. I’m saying that because I have something to say.

“I will tell you… What do you mean?”

okay.

Leasian raised his head.

Only then is an atmosphere created for people to talk to each other.

Saruna began to speak softly with a serious tone.

As for the fact that I loved him… This is a fact without any disagreement. Showing an obsession that goes beyond love… It was my will after all.

Although that feeling has faded now… .

Saruna smiled wryly and shook her head.

Anyway, the story I have to tell you is Leasian. It’s a story you didn’t know about.

Since when… .

Probably before he met me.

I don’t know if you know this, but your father has been under prohibition since he was very young.

“… Prohibited?”

okay. I don’t know the details, but I heard an adult from the Larun tribe say it in passing before, so I know it’s not true.

It was my first time hearing about Leasian.

Saruna said as if she knew that would happen.

Is there anyone in the world who would want to have their weaknesses revealed?

This is especially true if you are someone like him who is quiet and has a strong sense of pride.

Leasian was puzzled.

Is your father very proud?

This was also information I had heard for the first time.

That’s because she has never been able to know or tried to know about my father.

Saruna continued.

Was that why?

He was also quite obsessed.

To what extent… .

Me, who wasn’t that obsessed.

So much so that she even turned her daughter into a jealous, ugly mother.

The greed was considerable.

“… what? What do you mean?”

That’s literally it.

Although I was somewhat obsessed with him from the beginning… .

It is said that everything that changed in earnest was according to his intention.

“What the hell… How can that be?”

I wonder that too.

You never know. Maybe they made me take some kind of medicine without my knowledge. Or some kind of spell was cast.

Whichever of the two it was… It is an undeniable fact that he led me down a path of excessive obsession.

“That… … .”

Rheasian’s heart had no time to calm down.

What on earth does this all mean?

Everything she had ever known was being denied.

Thanks to this, her mind was extremely confused.

If you think about it… To the point where I began to wonder if my mother’s words, which I had tried to believe, might be lies.

but… First, I decided to listen more.

Because it is not too late to judge everything later.

I think it was before I gave birth to you.

You didn’t know… Why did he not stop me even after seeing my excessive actions?

Because he did that. That must have been why.

What artist would want to ruin their own work… .

but. After I died, his interest probably… .

Leasian. It seemed like it was headed towards you.

“… … .”

Rheasian suddenly remembered how his father had changed since his mother died.

Originally, I didn’t treat myself too harshly or do anything like that… Still, I didn’t feel like I was getting any better.

‘that is… ‘It was all for that reason?’

Saruna’s story is not over yet.

Perhaps the most important part was ahead.

that… A child named Camiel. Did you say you were brought here for treatment purposes?

The fact that the child does not have much life left… Did he really not know?

Knowing that, why do you think he brought me here? Rheasian?

The moment I heard those words.

Leasian seemed nervous.

Why did you bring Camiel?

I don’t know the exact thing.

however… It never seemed like a good reason.

‘Camiel.’

Even before I knew the story was over yet, I got up and left the room.

The place she headed was where Camiel’s room was.

Quirk-

The sound of hinges rang out loudly.

“… … .”

Leasian paused when he saw his empty room.

I approach the bed with slow steps.

There was no trace of him on the smoothly made bedding.

‘You haven’t returned to your room yet, right?’

I was thinking so hard.

After searching the mansion, she finally realized something.

As for Camiel… That it is nowhere in the mansion.