episode_0042

“I don’t love you anymore.”

“… … .”

“I hate you.”

Just as Ian had done before, Sylvie gave a troubled smile.

“I’m sorry.”

wee.

Ian made an expression he had never seen before.

It was sad and shocking.

Never once have I seen Ian look so heartbroken.

When Sylvie saw that, she felt a strange feeling.

As if I were feeling the same way, my heart sank and I felt sad, but I was so happy that my fingertips and lips trembled.

A shiver that started from the Danjeon enveloped my entire body.

‘Ian, you were sad because of me… .’

That was proof that Ian loved himself and wanted his love.

Holding back the feeling that bordered on pleasure and suppressing her trembling voice, Sylvie stimulated him further.

“That’s why I can’t even apologize.”

I wanted to see that expression again, but Ian nodded calmly.

“… okay. Because it’s not something that can be forced.”

Ian left without a word.

Sylvie spent some time wondering what he would think alone.

How sad it must be.

How much will you miss me?

When will you come back and cling to me?

So what should we do then?

Should I say no again?

Should I accept it reluctantly?

Ian needs himself.

So, Ian has no choice but to love himself.

Sylvie was sure of that.

Even if he was a bit harsh to himself, it was all because he loved Ian, so Ian would be okay with it.

Sylvie waited in a daze, and Ian didn’t look for her.

By the time Sylvie said she hated him, Ian was confused.

Was it true that she said she loved him?

Is that still the case?

Are all these complaints a twisted expression of love?

Is it right to torment someone you love like that?

He thought that perhaps Sylvie might stop loving him.

And, it is said that Sylvie has truly stopped loving herself.

Since the method was the same as what he did to Sylvie, he thought it was just karma.

Emotions cannot be forced.

Just because Sylvie loves Ian doesn’t mean she has to wait forever.

Love is not something you do alone.

I loved you yesterday, but I may not today, and I may hate you tomorrow.

Ian acknowledged the trend.

From the beginning, even though their love was clear, wasn’t their relationship ambiguous?

Something that had been postponed for after the subjugation of the Demon King was only ignited in a half-hearted way.

It was no wonder that it ended so vainly.

day.

Two days.

Weeks passed and Ian wasn’t the same again.

Sylvie had to wake him up as he was still unconscious.

“Ian.”

“Yes.”

“I found someone I like. Not you.”

I wanted to see that sad expression again.

He wanted to show that he was still craving his love.

The sight was so beautiful and ecstatic that it made you think that God gave humans the emotion of sadness solely to show Ian to himself at that moment.

But Ian shrugged his eyebrows and nodded.

“Really? That’s good.”

“… … .”

Sylvie’s anger soared.

“Uh, right. It worked. He is a much stronger and better person than you.”

“Thank goodness.”

“… … .”

Ian spoke very calmly.

The reaction was so unreal.

Is this method wrong?

Sylvie started threatening her with herself as collateral again, just like before.

“everything is annoying. I just want to die.”

“Why did you save me? You could have just let him die.”

“I want to kill everyone and I want to die too. Why should I live?”

“Should we just overthrow the entire Pride Empire? I think I can do it.”

At some point, Sylvie gave up trying to provoke him and just waited.

I thought it was time for Ian to come visit me.

While I was waiting, the delusion I had suppressed grew even bigger.

Ian hates me.

Why do you hate me when you are nothing without me?

If that’s the case, just leave.

Why are you staying?

Everything you said about loving me was a lie.

Why did you say that?

Why did you accept my love?

When I die, will you look back at me again?

The inflated delusion was completed with Penny’s intervention.

“Ian has been taking advantage of you.”

“Do you know how much money is poured into historical, first-party heroes like you? It’s not just a matter of the magic stones you sell.”

“All groups across the empire are anxious to support you and help you for free.”

“But Ian has never been like that before. The reason is simple. It’s so that you don’t know your value. Aren’t all of your actions partly controlled by Ian? Isn’t Ian hiding a lot from you?”

“To make you subordinate to Ian himself. Treating you kindly is also a ploy to appeal to human affection and tie you down so you can’t leave.”

“There is nothing clearer than the flow of money. If you look at the ledger here… .”

Penny had always been at odds with her before, but she didn’t believe it.

However, after I had a falling out with Ian, I listened to him again, and everything fit together so perfectly.

Penny’s analysis was horrifyingly detailed.

He also said he loved himself.

For accepting my love.

It was all a lie to take advantage of him.

Unless it’s a lie, there’s no reason for him to siphon off the money that should be spent on them.

Even that sad expression might have been made because he couldn’t use himself anymore.

For her, money was a tool for survival and the last proof of Ian’s affection.

Because we agreed with the other members, we decided to expel Ian.

But Sylvie didn’t think Ian would really leave.

‘I can’t do it without you, but I guess I’ll leave here. You can never do that. ‘What are you going to do with the devil and the curse?’

Even if necessary, Ian will hang on to the station.

Then and only then did I reluctantly forgive him and try to hug him.

Even though I hate him, I still love him.

“Get out of this party. It is a command.”

“Well, you touch us every time you come back from battle… It’s unpleasant.”

I was a little nervous and stuttered, but I was able to help Ian with his expulsion.

In order to intentionally widen the distance, I used polite language instead of informal language.

I have never disliked the massages Ian gave me because it was the time when I could get closest to him in the most overt way.

Even after we became distant, I never missed a massage.

But I felt that such a lie was necessary.

At that time, I did not fully realize the meaning of exile.

A joy close to pleasure.

And, he was full of expectations that Ian would beg and cling to him.

But Ian really left.

“Uh…?”

The banishment was a kind of punishment.

Punishment to reflect and realize one’s own importance.

It was the final step of his plan, hoping that Ian would be hurt and reflect as much as he was hurt.

When Ian apologized earnestly, only then did Sylvia forgive everything and hug Ian, consummating their love for each other.

It was the perfect plan.

Even though I was anxious when I saw him leave, I thought he would miss me and come back.

Or even because you need a first party.

She looked down on Ian’s feelings too much and took advantage of them to an excessive extent.

Ian couldn’t define his feelings for Sylvia, who kicked him out.

Just a glimpse of her in the second episode.

He would kill someone if he didn’t like him, and murder was a means of negotiation.

I believed that things would get better because I saved him from that alley before he turned to murder.

Is this result a problem with her nature or her own fault?

I couldn’t figure it out, so I summarized it with words she often used.

Annoying.

There was a big difference between losing your mind and completely breaking off a relationship.

So, Ian decided to ignore what happened with her as if it never happened.

From that day on, Sylvia sealed her memories in a hard box in her heart.

Ian will come again.

Ian won’t leave me.

Ian loves me.

Ian can’t do it without me.

I forgot all the bad and good memories and waited for Ian to come back.

Beyond all that time and distorted emotions, Sylvia came to MacDerlin Abbey.

‘What should I say…’ ?’

At first, I was angry and disappointed.

But as she got closer, joy filled her heart.

‘I’m looking at Ian…’ .’

You can see Ian.

That alone made me excited.

“If I don’t have any business for you, would you please go?”

That excitement was cruelly trampled.

It was only after meeting his emotionless gaze that I realized it too late.

‘I am Ian…’ . I made it like this… .’

Sylvia killed his emotions.

She cruelly crushed the heart of the man she loved and who loved her.

Only now, when it was too late, did Sylvia reflect on her arrogant mistake.

I felt like I was suffocating in overwhelming regret.

I wish I could suffocate, but I couldn’t, so it was even more painful.

A sin committed.

Accumulated regrets.

Too, too many.

However, my selfish heart hates Ian.

‘I hate you for looking at me like that, as if you were treating me like an inanimate object… .’

But, more than that.

No, to the extent that the hatred becomes meaningless.

‘I love you so much more.’

Still, yes.

Emotions swirl.

I hate, I love, I want to kill, I want to kiss, I want to die, I want to be hugged, I want to apologize, I want to be forgiven.

I miss the precious relationship between you and me that may have remained in the time I missed so much that I want to hold onto it even if I die.

The box I had hidden so tightly burst open the moment I saw Ian.

‘This is the price of my sin… .’

Sylvia realized.

Until you understand the meaning of the word eternity, you will regret the past and love Ian.

And humans who cannot live eternity cannot understand eternity even after a lifetime.

‘Love is not something you do alone… .’

Ian wasn’t the one who couldn’t do it without a partner.

It was Sylvia.

It was only now that I saw Ian again that I realized that everything was meaningless without him.

*

Ian waited for the two to remain silent, then took out an hourglass from his pocket.

It was 5 minutes long.

“I also have work to do and it’s time to sleep soon. If you have any business, I would appreciate it if you could quickly get to the point.”

Sylvia’s blank eyes looked back and forth between the hourglass and Ian.

She knows what this is.

When Ian interacts with people, he sometimes sets a time limit.

This is to prevent wasting more time than necessary.

In other words, it would be a waste of time for Ian to deal with Sylvia and Aria for more than five minutes.

There is no intention.

Just, the default time he allows to outsiders who come without an appointment when he is busy is always 5 minutes.

So Ian was now very equal.

They were treating each other fairly, regardless of their past relationship.

Ian wasn’t happy with them, but he didn’t have any intention of going out harshly.

I just want them to tell me if they have any business and leave and do their own thing.

In the meantime, he will gather the remaining members and grow the party.

“Ian… .”

Sylvia’s broken voice called his name so preciously.

Ian’s dry eyes shifted to her.