episode_0041

Episode.41 Commit

[Baek Harin SIDE]

I committed it.

What did you end up doing?

commit

It is to commit a sin or to act in a way that causes a mistake.

Let’s go back in time a little.

To the moment I kissed him.

No, maybe a little further back than that.

51st floor.

When Siwoo and I fell into bed together, I was definitely the one who got up first.

As soon as I woke up, I checked on Siwoo.

There was no answer when I called, and only the sound of light breathing filled the room.

Touching his body, I knew he was still swimming in his dream.

But the truth is, I already knew.

Medicines are always more effective the first time you use them.

So while he was asleep, I briefly gave him a lap pillow to make him feel more comfortable and refreshed.

It’s just a pity that I can’t see Siwoo’s face at this moment.

At that moment, the desire deep inside my heart began to boil.

‘I want to become one with him.’

But how?

If there is a way to become one with the opposite sex, that is the only way.

I felt my body getting strangely hot.

I’m sure… my body gets hot at the thought of making love to him.

But it’s probably not the stage to do that yet.

I also don’t want to become a woman with a light body.

It’s not that I don’t know how to do it, so I don’t do it.

… Actually, I’ve never seen it or tried it.

Masturbation, something I couldn’t even do, is able to say things like this.

Again, this is surprising.

I think this is because the instinct to reproduce is imprinted in the DNA of not only humans but also animals.

Actually, it’s my first time feeling like this, so it’s awkward and hard to bear.

Since I can’t attack Si-woo while he’s sleeping… I have to take his blood and put it in my body to be with him.

This too… becomes one, doesn’t it?

I used a syringe to find an artery in his arm and drew blood.

‘If possible, clean blood would be better…’

-Tick, tick.

what? I think something got caught in the syringe.

It would be impossible for any substance other than blood to come out… but why?

Without hesitation, I mixed the blood drawn from him and an unknown substance into the milk and special propofol I made.

Because the material extracted from him that I cannot see or know is also a part of him.

At that time, I think Mr. Siwoo woke up.

I knew right away because my head jerked.

“Ah, you. Are you awake?”

I don’t hear an answer from him.

Has he not woken up yet?

“You woke up later than expected. I’m sorry… It was a bit irritating, right?”

Still, I apologized to Siwoo.

I was so impatient, I couldn’t hold back, and I wanted to let him see the same world as me.

“Mi, crazy bitch…”

… Even for me, if the first thing I say is an insult, I’m bound to get hurt.

Mr. Siwoo got away from me.

‘That’s too bad.’

“.. What are you?”

Identity? What kind of identity are you talking about?

Are you wondering why I, who is in the spotlight as the only S-class healer in the world, use these drugs?

“.. Yes, actually, that is -”

“No, it would be better if I said it myself. You’re dealing with something quite illegal, aren’t you?”

“Ugh.. that’s not it..”

What should I do?

“Answer only yes or no. Isn’t it illegal?”

“Ma, that’s right…”

After that, I continued to take questions from Mr. Siwoo.

How long had he fallen, and why was he able to get up so quickly?

It answered all of Siwoo’s questions about it.

He asked 3 questions, and I was able to answer questions 1 and 2 easily.

He mentioned that the soul in the sword was gone, but that’s none of my business.

By the way, are you talking about the foxy bitch that clings to him?

You care about other women and not me.

Even though she’s not human, she still cares about other females.

This is… unforgivable, right?

‘ha…’

While I was thinking about how to bring Siwoo to his senses, the long-awaited third and final question came.

The question is, there is one needle to administer the medicine, but two are drunk.

Ah… I think this is a question asking about the effects of my ‘sensory sharing’.

‘… Not yet…’

Instead of telling him the truth, I decided to divert his story.

I locked the door to my room and stood in front of Siwoo again.

I clung to him and whispered love in my own way.

But his answer seemed to be trying to distance himself a bit, to draw a line.

At that time, I thought, ‘But if I did this much, wouldn’t he stop paying attention?’ Called.

But perhaps his actions were wrong and his interest in me almost disappeared.

“Can I go back home first? I feel a little tired now-”

“Do you hate me?”

After hearing Siwoo’s words, I suddenly felt my heart sink.

Am I sick of it?

“If you don’t hate me… please answer me.”

Am I sick of it now?

“What, what?”

I took all my heart and said to Mr. Siwoo.

“I am a woman who knows how to repay the love I give…”

I told him what I really wanted.

“Give me.. your love.”

There’s only one thing I want.

love.

“I need your affection… I’m sorry for saying this after doing such a harsh thing…”

Ejeong.

The time I spent with him.

The time we spent together.

The moments we walked together.

“But… I can’t be satisfied with a best friend-like relationship with you…”

Those short but intense memories pass by like flashes of light.

Without realizing it, I liked him… no, I was in love with him.

“Because, such a poor relationship… is not enough.”

If you are a kind person, you would listen to my request.

“If you don’t accept it, I’ll cry…”

“You can’t cry anyway.”

Threats didn’t work either.

I could have kept putting pressure on him and forced him to love me, but that was it. It wasn’t the love I wanted.

… Mr. Siwoo continues to act as if he is trying to avoid me.

If I didn’t force an answer, it felt like he was trying to defuse the situation.

“You…. So, what is the answer?”

“Ah..haha.. give me time to think about it!”

Stupid person.

“Didn’t you… feel that the moment you fell down with me turned into excitement?”

“What nonsense…”

“Fear is the easiest emotion to change into liking. I’m sure I heard it somewhere.”

I haven’t heard it anywhere specifically.

I hated him so much for not answering.

But I had no choice.

There was nowhere to retreat.

If I step back from here… I will tell him.

I will just remain as Friend 1 who hurts my eyes.

forever.

From waking up to falling asleep.

That’s why I had no choice but to hit the player first.

“I think you are misunderstanding something.”

The only way left for me is to go out strong.

“I didn’t give you a chance to choose?”

“Huh..?”

Even if you feel guilty.

“Didn’t you hear? You don’t have a choice.”

I have no choice but to pretend to be strong.

All you have to do is hide this so that the other person doesn’t notice.

I didn’t want to lose him, so I hugged him tightly.

I feel like the tremors in my body, which I can’t hide even if I try to hide them, are all conveyed to Siwoo.

but…

“Can’t we solve this first and have a conversation?”

Why on earth aren’t you giving me the answer I want?

“No…”

Am I expecting that much?

“Huh? What?”

Now… not anymore…

“No!”

Siwoo… It’s hard to hold on.

“…”

I ended up screaming.

Siu… Why is there no answer?

“Why… why… why on earth… why don’t you choose me easily? Is the body already owned?”

It’s okay to seem like a sloppy person.

“Um… not that… just -”

“Then just accept my confession…”

‘Then why…’

“… Why are you doing this?”

Are you asking because you don’t know?

“… Are you curious as to why I am doing this? ”

“… Yes.”

An opportunity came to tell him briefly about my life.

“I… I… I was so lonely in this place. Until now, no one has ever been as close to me as you. In fact, I have been living like a scarecrow in the association from the beginning.”

Why is there nothing said?

“I should start by saying this… When I first became S-class… I was really happy. By myself.”

“… Alone?”

Fortunately, it seems he wasn’t interested.

” Yes. Alone.”

“Why? I think my parents would have been very happy…”

Parents…

“No.”

If I get a chance, I’d like to see your face.

“What?”

“My parents abandoned me in an orphanage after giving birth.”

“…”

“Perhaps because of my disability, there was not a single person at the orphanage who helped me.”

Even though it was definitely a sad story… I didn’t even have any hesitation in saying it.

I guess I don’t really care about this anymore.

” Not only that… Even though I became an adult and became an S-class, no one at the orphanage welcomed me, so I ran out of the orphanage. I felt like I wasn’t welcome anywhere.”

I don’t care…

“I have… a lot of secrets… a basement… special abilities… there are so many more… can’t even me… please… accept it?”

You feel like something is different.

“Can’t I go home today and really think about it again?”

“Are you… testing my patience now?”

“No, I am more cautious -”

“Stop!… I don’t want to hear excuses. I guess I’ll have to use the method you did for me earlier. First of all, let me say thank you in advance.”

I also had no choice but to use the method Siwoo used.

“What method did I tell you?”

“You. Please answer only yes or no.”

I thought about what question to ask.

No, actually, it was a no-brainer.

Do whatever your heart tells you to do.

Do what your heart tells you to do.

All you have to do is ask a question.

“You. Please answer just three questions…”

“Uh. I’m listening.”

“Answer only yes or no.”

“… Yes”

“First question…Do you hate me?”

“No.”

As soon as I heard those words, I felt like my heart became lighter.

It feels like a heavy burden has been lifted from my shoulders and the chains that were oppressing me have been lifted.

“Well, then… I guess you like it…”

“…”

“Ugh… Since you didn’t answer, this question is invalid… No, it wasn’t even a question in the first place.”

I wanted to rub myself against him.

‘But now…’

In order to be sure, you have no choice but to ask questions that make you a little hesitant.

“This is really the second question… Are you a little disappointed with my behind?..”

“Yes.”

This time, on the contrary, when I heard those words, I felt like my heart sank.

It feels like riding a roller coaster.

I felt good and then I felt bad.

“Siwoo… I’m in so much pain…”

“…”

I can’t come to my senses.

“I…it’s so hard…black…”

Even if there are no tears, sad feelings do not go away.

When I looked at the world through you, when I looked at me… it seemed like I was full of goodwill.

Was seeing the world through Siwoo just… a dream?

Yes, I guess so.

“You are in so much pain…”

Dreams are simply a series of psychological phenomena that occur while you sleep.

“This kind of pain cannot be healed…”

My abilities are useless. Even simple pain like this… can’t be treated if the wound isn’t visible.

It won’t be visible even with an endoscope.

“Ah… I’ll ask the third question…”

I feel like I’m getting more and more dizzy.

I feel like my nose is going to bleed.

After all, I have no choice but to commit.

“Can you love me too…?”

“…. ㅇ.”

As soon as I heard the ‘ㅇ’ pronunciation.

Siwoo covered his mouth so he couldn’t speak any more.

With my mouth. I covered Mr. Siwoo’s mouth.

‘What were you trying to say….’

Because I only heard the ‘ㅇ’ sound, I couldn’t predict whether the answer would be yes or no.

If his answer was ‘yes’… he might have committed it too early.

‘No… if you say no…’

It seemed like it would be difficult to survive in this world.

I felt like I couldn’t give affection to other people anymore.

Do you know what?

The association does not have a rooftop.

Because it is a pyramid-shaped structure.

So now I am.

Grab the back of his head.

I was almost forced to kiss at the highest place in the association.

Put your tongue in and make it thick.

I committed it.

…

Hehe, you committed it?

Faster than that fox.