episode_0041

“Ha♡ Heet♡ Hoook♡”

“Do you like it? Do you?”

“I love it♡ I love it so much♡”

“Then make sure to get pregnant since we’re doing it.”

“Yes, I will♡ I’ll get pregnant♡”

That day, Gunwoo and I had sex like crazy.

Three times in the annex where we started having sex, four times in the bathroom during Gunwoo’s grandfather’s birthday party, and six times when we returned to Gunwoo’s house.

Not satisfied with that, we stayed overnight at Gunwoo’s house and had sex all night long.

Even though we were exhausted from having sex as if we were going to devour each other until we passed out, we continued to have sex as if we were not tired of it at all. We delved into each other as if we were exploring each other’s depths.

Was that why?

“…I did it, I’m pregnant.”

Two lines appeared at once. I let out a small sigh as I confirmed it in the bathroom.

I really… got pregnant. With a woman’s body.

I suddenly felt scared. Although the thought of being a man was no longer there, the happiness of being pregnant as a woman was still overwhelming.

But what was more terrifying than the fear of pregnancy and childbirth was the worry of Gunwoo changing his mind.

Although it might sound like I’m saying the same thing twice… now that I’ve become a woman, I felt like a man’s promises were infinitely light.

Gunwoo wasn’t like that, right? He wasn’t a good guy, was he?

He said he would take responsibility several times, but it was obvious that it would be burdensome for Gunwoo as well. Where can you find a man like that?

Moreover, if that woman… no, the guy who had tormented him to death was me… would he actually not want to get rid of me?

“…….”

Anxiety overwhelmed me.

If, really if Gunwoo decides to do that, what should I do?

I would probably curse him as a bastard, but… do I even have the right to curse him? It was because of me being a bitch that made Gunwoo like this, right?

No, setting aside those issues, what about the child that I’m already pregnant with?

If Gunwoo decides to abandon this child as well, can I… raise this child?

No, that’s the wrong question.

Do I want to raise this child? If Gunwoo decides to abandon me, there might be no reason to raise this child.

“…But I should raise it.”

But I didn’t want to. Even if Gunwoo abandons me, I still wanted to raise the child.

There was a noble reason that the child did nothing wrong… but more than that, I just wanted to raise the child.

Even if Gunwoo abandons me.

With that determination, I went to meet Gunwoo that day.

“Hey, why do you look like that today? Is something wrong?”

“…Oh, nothing.”

But despite my determination, my heart was pounding like crazy when I met Gunwoo.

Yet Gunwoo seemed oblivious to my feelings and acted as usual. That’s why men are comfortable, they don’t need to worry or think too much.

“Rather than that, how do you like the car I picked up? Is it okay?”

“Yes, it’s amazing. It reminds me of the old days. When I was at driving school.”

“Those were the days. Should we try something like that sometimes? Poppet?”

“…Yes.”

Idiot. Is that really important right now? We can do the bitch play later. Ask if I’m pregnant.

“Should we just head to the beach? Or maybe to a nice restaurant somewhere?”

But whether intentionally or not, Gunwoo didn’t ask about my pregnancy. After telling me to get pregnant last time…

“Anywhere is fine.”

“…Hey, you’re really acting strange today, aren’t you?”

“What do you mean?”

“You look like a tragic heroine.”

“What are you talking about.”

“It’s cringeworthy.”

Gunwoo said that and parked the car. It was a date that continued until dinner since he picked me up. On the way back, we decided to enjoy the night view of the Han River.

“I love the night view, let’s get out.”

“Yes.”

Although it was still early evening, there were a few people like us who came to enjoy the night view at the Han River. It used to be so crowded with people setting up tents and having sex that they had to ban it.

If it’s Geonwoo, he might have brought me here with that thought. It’s not difficult to do… but they say you should refrain from sex in the early stages of pregnancy.

I’m not sure if it’s okay right after pregnancy. It’s not the stable period, so it might not be good, right?

“Park Sihyun.”

“Yeah?”

“You can just tell me now.”

“Tell you what?”

“You, you’re pregnant, right?”

“…! H-how did you…”

“You can see the worry written all over your face. Did you think I wouldn’t know?”

Geonwoo’s words made my face flush. It seems like it was all too obvious. No, did he know and pretend not to? What a jerk.

“But why aren’t you saying anything? What are you thinking, acting like an idiot again?”

But I couldn’t call him a jerk. Instead, I struggled to find an answer to Geonwoo’s question.

“…I was afraid you would abandon me.”

“What?”

“I was scared you would leave me.”

“So that’s why you didn’t say anything?”

“Yeah…”

“You… you’re really stubborn.”

Geonwoo said with a chuckle. I, who had seriously contemplated the situation, felt a bit annoyed.

“…It’s better for you to say that. That’s why I was worried.”

“You fool. How is that better for me? Did you forget when your grandfather stamped my face on your birthday?”

“What?”

“Your grandfather promised me a position as a company director after I graduate from college. But if you dump me, how will your grandfather see me?”

“I, I don’t think he would…”

“Oh, really? Your grandfather feels sorry for me because of your useless father. He’s taking care of me because I seem to have grown up well. But if the prospective daughter-in-law who seemed obedient gets pregnant and gets dumped, what do you think he’ll think?”

“……”

“…Besides, your grandfather seems to really like me. What do you think? If he asks me to live with him, can I do it?”

I felt my face getting hotter as Geonwoo spoke.

In the end, I turned my bright red face away from Geonwoo. I couldn’t look at Geonwoo’s face because I was embarrassed.

I… am really stubborn. I knew it, but I was even more stubborn than I thought.

“And if you abandon me now, will your father come to kill me? Have you ever thought about that?”

“I-I won’t let him…”

“Why?”

“Because I’ll stop him…”

“Are you an idiot?”

“Y-yes, I am…”

I admitted my low intelligence and nestled into Geonwoo’s arms.

“That’s why you should stop being an idiot and worry.”

“There’s no answer…”

Geonwoo patted my back while holding me.

It was very reassuring. And… I was very happy.

“Do you like it that much? Your expression has changed a lot.”

“Yeah. I like it. Kiss me.”

I asked for a kiss as if to show off. Geonwoo didn’t hesitate and kissed me.

Although I could feel the occasional glances of people around us, it was still nice. I kissed Geonwoo as sticky as possible.

“Hey, stop there.”

“Umm… why, kiss me more.”

“Just wait a moment.”

Geonwoo, who had been kissing me for a while, suddenly stopped and moved away from me.

“Close your eyes.”

“Close my eyes? What naughty thing are you going to do now?”

“You’ll find out when you close them.”

There were people watching… but considering the naughty things I had accepted so far, I thought I could do something more daring here. If he tells me to undress, I’ll probably get caught for indecent exposure.

Anyway, I closed my eyes as he asked.

“Now open your eyes.”

“Yeah… huh?”

When I opened my eyes as Geonwoo told me to, he was kneeling in front of me. And he was handing me something.

“What are you doing, not taking it?”

“What is this?”

“It’s a ring.”

“Why a ring…”

“Because it’s a proposal.”

A proposal… The word made me feel fluttery. We had already proposed to each other, but for some reason, there was a different feeling in that word now.

“Last time… no matter how I think about it, it doesn’t feel like a proposal. It’s not right to propose while eating tteok.”

“….”

“So, I mean doing it officially. So, hurry up and accept it. My arm hurts.”

Idiot… it’s not romantic at all. Even though I’m only half a woman, I can tell.

But it’s strange. The feeling of happiness isn’t being suppressed. Endorphins seemed to be rushing like crazy.

“Hmph, really lacking in mood. Come on, since you accepted it, now you put it on me.”

“You were planning to do that anyway, right?”

As soon as I accepted the ring, Gunwoo immediately put it on my left ring finger… When the ring slid onto my finger, it felt like my heart was full.

The anxiety disappeared cleanly. It was filled with happiness.

“Park Si-hyun.”

“Yeah…”

“I said I was scared you would abandon me.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah, honestly, I still hate you.”

“…Is that so?”

“Time-wise, I’ve suffered more than the time I spent tormenting you.”

That was true. I tormented Gunwoo throughout my high school years, and Gunwoo only tormented me for just over a year.

“But then, shouldn’t I not abandon you even more?”

“What?”

“I mean it. I’ll take revenge on you for a lifetime. Without letting you go.”

Revenge.

After the proposal, revenge. It didn’t match. But there was nothing that suited our relationship more than that.

“You’ve endured nothing from tormenting me, right? You really have to give me everything sincerely.”

“Is that… what you want, revenge?”

“Yeah. I want everything from you. Self-esteem, love, passion, beauty… whatever you have, it’s all mine.”

Gunwoo wanted to take everything from me. He wanted to leave nothing behind. So, there was no need for anxiety. It wouldn’t be left with me anyway.

“I’ll give you only one thing.”

“…What?”

“My love. That’s the only thing I’ll give you.”

“…Take everything and just that?”

“Yeah. That’s revenge.”

Unfair revenge. Revenge that would make Hammurabi shudder.

But I didn’t mind at all.

I wanted to pass everything on to him.

“Will you really take everything?”

“Yeah.”

“I won’t think about anything at all?”

I won’t think about anything now. Except for Gunwoo. Except for the love Gunwoo gives me. There was no need to think about anything else.

“After all, you’re a fool, right?”

“What… but yeah. I’m a fool, so I’ll just look at you. So, you only look at me.”

Take everything from me and don’t look at other women.

There was no need to even say that. Gunwoo still loves me. He wants to take revenge on me.

So, there was no way he could look at other women. As long as I remain Park Si-hyun, Gunwoo will only be satisfied by plundering everything from me.

So, I just have to keep shining beautifully. Just fill in the pretty things Gunwoo takes from me.

We will be able to continue to ‘love’ each other.

“Have lots of kids with your love. Is that okay?”

“Yeah. But you have to be prepared, right? You have to make a lot for me.”

“Don’t even think about saying you don’t like it later.”

“Hmph.”

“Kiki…”

We laughed at each other and then kissed again. Unlike usual, it was a slow, sweet, and romantic kiss.

Something that made me a woman asked.

[Will you remain a woman forever?]

I answered that I would.

I, who used to be a man, refused to go back to the way I was.