episode_0040

[No matter how much money you want, I’ll give it to you. How much do you want? 500? 1000?]

[I really love the artist’s drawing style. If I can get one more illustration, I might even offer a million!]

The commission applicant tried to propose a price several times higher than the previous commission and get one more illustration from me, but after careful consideration, I rejected his request.

[I’m sorry.]

[Why? Even if you draw just one, it’s still worth twenty-five illustrations! Why are you rejecting it?]

The persistent requester questioned me, unable to understand my refusal.

I replied firmly to him.

[Because there’s no ‘excitement’ in the commission.]

[…Are you insulting my taste right now?]

[No, I’m not insulting you. I’m just saying that there’s no excitement in the commission.]

As I sent my response, I recalled the time when I drew commission adult illustrations.

Did the vigorous horns of the long-horned beetle trigger the unique sexual desire of the nine-tailed fox?

No, it didn’t. It only cooled down the existing desire.

Did the female side find it exciting?

No, the female mosquito with a gaki had an exciting point, but since she wasn’t a fox deity, it didn’t excite me at all.

I cautiously thought, what if the female mosquito was a fox deity version? Would there have been a slight excitement? But imagining a fox deity being preyed upon by a long-horned beetle actually diminished the excitement.

And then I realized.

The commission was the opposite of me.

Continuing to draw commissions that didn’t excite me would eventually prevent me from drawing the illustrations that excited me.

Why did I start drawing in the first place?

Wasn’t it to draw what excited me?

To self-sufficiently draw more exciting adult illustrations, to activate my creative engine more vigorously.

So why force myself to draw something that doesn’t excite me?

If that’s the case, I’d rather give up the million and not draw it.

[If my words sounded like an insult, I apologize. I didn’t mean it that way. I’m just afraid that forcing myself to draw something I don’t want to will harm both of us.]

[Maybe it’ll get better if you try? They say you get used to anything if you keep doing it.]

[It’s better to experience something that doesn’t suit you once, I don’t want to experience it multiple times. Thanks for the good experience.]

[…Is there really no way?]

[Even if I draw one more for more money, the quality will be much lower than before, and in the end, neither you nor I will be satisfied. There’s a saying, “Leave when you’re applauded.” That time is now.]

Drawing a line once again, the commission applicant expressed his regret and bid farewell.

[Thank you for your hard work, artist.]

[Thank you for using my services, client.]

[The other party has left the chat room.]

Having a heartwarming ending, I sighed deeply and collapsed on the bed.

It’s exhausting.

The mental energy consumption is too much.

I want to heal, but how can I heal?

Oh, I know. Let’s go to HXmi and look for some exciting fox manga.

If I spend a few hours reading manga, it’ll be as healing as it gets.

I’ve been persevering for two days, so there must be a few new ones uploaded.

Since fox deities are normal sexual beings, there must be at least one artist who drew them.

I activated a VPN app on my phone and immediately entered the HXmi site saved in my bookmarks.

And before pressing the search button, I prayed in the direction where the fox deities reside.

Please refrain from starting with disgusting content.

Also, please do not attach the tags “Fox” and “Furry”.

With a desperate heart, I pressed the search button, and the result.

“What the f***!!!!!”

It was a disaster.

As soon as the loading screen ended, what appeared was not the resurrection of the dead, but the symbol of a male.

And the ghostly attached tag, Yaoi.

I internally cursed as I skimmed through the first page, but unfortunately, there was nothing but despair there.

Damn it.

I should have prayed to Buddha, Jesus, or Allah instead of the fox god.

Come to think of it, praying to that b**** wouldn’t have granted my wishes anyway.

After all, she grants wishes in the opposite direction, right?

Yeah, she granted them in the opposite direction, which is why there were so many gay and furry content.

Next time, I should just pray for a lot of gay and furry content, maybe then I won’t get stuck with weird fox-human manga.

Thinking this, as I clicked on page 2 to continue my investigation, suddenly my eyes blinked and fatigue rushed over me as if to say, “Wait for it.”

“…Happy Time, I wanted to have it.”

It seems the mental blow from the Yaoi tag on page 1 was quite significant.

But if I fall asleep like this, it feels like that will come in my dreams, it was such a vividly disgusting content.

I tried to force my eyes open, but the accumulated fatigue didn’t allow it.

In the end, that night, I witnessed two male furries playing a fire truck game in my dream.

—–

It was a dreadful nightmare.

Of all things to dream about, it was two male furries playing a fire truck game, not two female fox-human hybrids turning into slimy snails.

A truly repulsive nightmare that I never want to experience again.

“Ugh… ughhh…”

Was I dry heaving at the thought of that nightmare again? The fox god approached me with a worried look and asked how I was doing.

– Have you ever had intercourse when your lady was absent? It seems like a mere dream to her.

“What kind of nonsense is this, damn it.”

– I heard there’s something like a pregnancy tester in this era, why not give it a try?

“Has this b**** finally lost her mind.”

I threw a pillow at the fox god, expressing my anger.

“I’m already troubled by the damn nightmare, do I have to listen to this crap too? This is crossing the line, you b****!”

– What kind of nightmare did you have to say such things? Did you have intercourse in your dream? It’s strange, if it was intercourse, it wouldn’t be a nightmare, right?

“Explaining this disgusting nightmare is also disgusting, don’t ask, it’s nauseating enough to make me want to vomit.”

Was I holding my throbbing head due to the severe stress?

Suddenly, a comforting touch on my head and the extreme cushioning felt on my forehead made my mind go blank.

Amidst my blank mind, a mesmerizing voice reached me.

The fox god was hugging my head and chuckling softly.

“This is a reward for all the suffering you’ve endured, something that even those men who spent a night with your lady have not experienced, consider it an honor.”

“You saying that doesn’t make me particularly happy, you know? Making me suffer and then just giving a reward is just hugging, isn’t it?”

“Haha… does the tail of someone who’s not happy sway like that?”

“Hmph.”

I replied curtly, but in reality, all the stress vanished as soon as I buried my face in the fox god’s chest.

A great size, and incredible cushioning.

The performance of the fox god’s baby food pouch, which exuded a sense of affection, was remarkable, and thanks to it, the nightmare that had been endlessly raping my brain a while ago turned to dust and disappeared.

“Are you feeling better now? Will you be okay even if the lady disappears?”

“…I didn’t need her in the first place. Hurry up and return to your soul state, don’t bother people unnecessarily.”

“Hmph, as you wish.”

The fox god chuckled and immediately returned to her soul state, leaving me to ponder with a lingering feeling in my head as I asked her a question.

“Oh, by the way, I have a question.”

– What do you want to know?

“Is there a way to hide my ears and tail for just a few hours? My parents asked me to come see them tomorrow, but I don’t think I can go looking like this.”

There are two reasons why I haven’t gone outside until now.

One is that I’m a shut-in, and my trashy friend took care of things for me, so I didn’t need to go out.

The other reason is that I’m afraid of going out and being captured as an experimental subject in some underground lab.

If I can somehow hide my cute, perky ears and my fluffy, wagging tail, I might be able to go out, but even if I can hide my ears, there’s no way to hide my tail.

If there’s no proper way, I might have to summon my parents to my room, even if it means getting beaten to death by my father, but if my parents come to my room…

“Is this a raccoon’s den? Don’t you ever air it out? You said you’d live independently, but it’s a complete mess.”

“If a dog lives in a mess, isn’t that okay…?”

“Did… my child just talk back to me…?”

I’ll probably get smacked around and forced to live there.

And if I end up living at home like that…

I’ll have to be cautious about having happy time, I’ll have to be cautious about being polite, and it will definitely have a negative impact on my commission work.

I have to go there myself somehow.

It’s definitely better for me to be summoned there than for my parents to be summoned here.

So, I looked at the fox god, knowing she had the answer, and she smiled before speaking.

– That is…