episode_0040
by fnovelpiaIt was right after they returned.
The little white tiger always went to a place where he could meditate to sort out his emotions.
If you can get rid of all those emotions and erase them, you will be able to completely erase those things that you should not have.
With such expectations and emotions, the child knew all too well that if he made a mistake, he would not be able to fulfill the great proposition that was placed upon him.
As usual, the child would suppress his emotions and return to being the child he always was.
Of course, I didn’t like that as an ability.
Clearly, it was a rule created when an invitation was sent down and people married.
However, that was only to make the child able to use “ abilities and not give them affection.” It was never an order to kill their emotions, make them an illegitimate child, or in any way create a state like this for the child.
‘It must be a rule that came about later.’
This time, the child was particularly strong, and had abilities that were almost similar to the original, so it was said that the ability had a self, but if not for that, most ability users, especially those in the Baekho family, would have seen twins ruined every time they were born since this rule was made.
‘Most children born as twins lose their abilities or die after dealing with a huge amount of liquid.’
It was a measure taken out of fear of what would happen if that mighty power continued to remain a blessing.
but…….
‘At this point, shouldn’t I stay with this child?’
At least the Baekho family’s rule regarding those damn twins needs to be done away with somehow.
Because it was an ability that even allowed one to have such thoughts.
‘… .’
Now the child does not listen to what he says at all. At least before he used to listen, but now… he does not.
The other day, when my child was submerged in water, even if the child collapsed, I had to not fall in.
The ability to fall into evil, the divine being that falls into evil, will become a complete disaster and destroy and obliterate this country.
With that knowledge in mind, he absolutely must not let himself be touched by a child.
The child’s emotions, feelings, thoughts, and abilities rose towards him, and even though he wanted to go out, the light could not allow him to move forward.
Until the darkness is completely removed.
If you go down, the darkness will not disappear, but will only get deeper.
So it didn’t go down. The child collapsed further inside. Instead, I watched from above as it gained light as it collapsed.
… A child’s light was emerging in a child who was not a child and who had no childish appearance.
The doubts about why I had to feel these feelings and why I had to go through these things were creating such things.
It was a contradiction. Evil and evil met and multiplied to become good.
‘… It’s true that that’s not good… .’
That was also not good. I could only watch from above as the child struggled in pain. If the child went wild, it would be a divine dragon? A black tortoise? A red bird? A blue dragon? No, even if it was the same white tiger, it would be meaningless.
So, it’s a good thing that the child becomes ordinary.
“… … … . Fuck.”
I felt sorry for myself, having no choice but to watch the screaming from below.
Once. After the poison was purified, I went down to the child.
From then on, the child started to ignore me, ignore me, and not ask for my help. In the first place, I had a huge power that I could give him. Unless he was getting liquid, he would never grab me and use his power.
‘… If I hadn’t come to him, there wouldn’t have been any problems.’
Knowing that fact, I couldn’t say anything about the child no longer relying on my strength.
However, trying to erase those feelings again… I had to stop that.
I didn’t want to see that child become that emotionless again. So, even though I tried so hard to stop him and tried to talk to him, he ignored me.
So I figured it out.
Now my words are out of reach.
Immediately after finishing his meditation, the little white tiger stretched.
It was because the feeling of being stuck was uncomfortable. Now, even if I try to get rid of the feeling, it has gotten to the point where it remains and won’t go away.
In fact, there was only one reason why it had to be that way. There were too many buried emotions, and now there was no more room to bury them, so they were rising up even more.
Even if you throw it out, it will rise up inside because there is no space to throw it out anymore.
So, the child’s original feelings for this family began to subtly emerge.
“… . Ha.”
Annoying? No. Disgusting would be the correct word.
The reward for working. The only reward is the confidence that you can protect yourself.
There is nothing else, nothing. Even though he knew that, there was nothing else he could do. There was no point in going outside the family.
Because there is a dragon.
The absolute command to protect the country for each Shinsoo family. And, the instinct to protect the country engraved in the Shinsoo instinct.
These two things combined would make it absolutely impossible for her to escape, no matter who took her away.
‘I want to sleep.’
It was now commonplace to think about wanting to sleep.
If before, he wanted to rest, now he wanted to sleep. The reason he wanted to sleep was simple. In fact, he hated everything now. It wasn’t that he hated meeting people.
If you just dream, now you can only see good things. If before, you could only see nothing, or bad things… .
‘… … I had a dream where I was sleeping in that person’s arms.’
Just because sometimes it feels like I’m sleeping in that bastard’s arms.
For that reason alone the child wanted and desired it.
“… . Ugh. Again… .”
As soon as he realized that he had thought that way again, the child shook his head. Now, he felt like a defective product that couldn’t even properly let go of his emotions.
It wasn’t a defect, it was a natural thing. The body and mind adapt to letting go of emotions. Unless you practice completely neutering and eliminating them.
But that wasn’t the case for the child. These were things he had to do and things he couldn’t help but do.
Not being able to do that was like making a defect in the child.
‘What should I do now?’
What, where and how should I derive it?
I shouldn’t become a bad person. Aren’t I a machine that has to live to protect him?
Wasn’t he an illegitimate child who existed for that purpose? Wasn’t he an illegitimate child who received that order? But what if feelings that interfere with that arise?
I’ve been taught that way my whole life… .
Constant self-criticism.
Repeating such criticism countless times pushed me to the edge of a cliff.
You shouldn’t show your emotions. You shouldn’t show your emotions. If you do, you’ll get in trouble. You’ll have to spend countless hours alone in that room, killing your emotions.
Until all these feelings fade away and disappear with the passage of time.
‘That’s absolutely not possible.’
Then I wouldn’t be able to meet them. I wouldn’t be able to have that warmth I felt for the first time by my side again. I didn’t like that.
Am I going to be thrown back into the abyss? Am I going to be enslaved by those dark things again? I still see those memories before my eyes.
“Hey, Yeon-ah.”
“Yes- Yes?”
It was the first time that the child stuttered and showed confusion in speaking.
The head of room 1 was flustered. This young child suddenly regained his emotions? That couldn’t be possible. Something was strange. This was-
No, he stopped thinking deeply. But he had to do what he always did.
“Let’s eat a snack today too.”
It was a job of giving him snacks even though he didn’t like them. It wasn’t Madam’s request.
It was something he gave entirely of himself. It was a time to spend with him, even if it was just for a moment, to give his heart, a time to relax.
Besides, isn’t it a good thing that emotions are starting to show?
So he didn’t really have a problem with it.
And I didn’t know that that was a bad thing in some way.
In the dark forest. A place like the deep night where no one seems to be there.
“Is this a failure after all?”
“Yeah. It wasn’t the second one, it was the first one who ate it.”
“Tsk. How did you prepare this poison.”
“Well, the instructions were directed at an unspecified number of people. It was just, “If that woman is having a snack with a child, feed it to her.” ”
They just looked at each other and continued talking.
“Support from that giant dragon?”
“This time, he said he would give me some more money. Instead, he said I must kill the second one. He is the next commander.”
Dark sorcery was taking root, foreshadowing ominous events.
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