episode_0038

Camilla looked at me with a displeased expression.

“What are you doing…?”

“As you can see, I’m trying to smile.”

“Can you please stop? I feel bad because Raoul is smiling, like Liesel is quick-witted?”

“… Is it really that ugly?”

“It looks like someone got serious problems with their facial muscles after eating poisonous mushrooms.”

I forced my smile off and started thinking seriously. How can I smile?

“How can I smile?”

“You’re not happy, but the only person who smiles is a clown?”

“Indeed. Are you saying I have to be happy?”

It was a difficult topic to understand. It’s not that I’ve never been happy, but I’m practically ignorant about how to be happy. Because I was just a baby bird that received the happiness spoon-fed to me by others.

“It might be quicker to ask the teacher who always smiles. If you follow him, you might be able to find the answer.”

“That guy was just drunk. Would you like to drink like that guy, crawl on all fours and fight a vicious dog?”

“… I don’t want to give up human dignity.”

When I thought about it again, I didn’t want to become someone like my teacher.

“I really want to smile, but I can’t see a way. It may be because I have lived a life far from laughter to begin with.”

It seemed like it would be a hundred times easier to kill someone. What is so difficult about just naturally raising the corners of your mouth and making a sound?

Trying to make a smile bloom in my muddy mind was just difficult.

Moreover, I am not a very skilled gardener.

“That’s why I came looking for you, Camilla.”

“What…?”

“Because you might make me laugh.”

“That, that, that… so suddenly…!”

I said, adjusting my cane.

“When fighting between life and death, you usually burst out laughing. Because I think I too can laugh if I push myself.”

Unlike the Demon King, who only cried in the end, most

“Ah~.”

In an instant, a fist filled with electricity hit my solar plexus.

It was easily avoidable, but I took it as a signal for a fight and took it as is.

It broke through the stone wall behind it, flew about 10 meters and landed against the wall, but that was all.

“… Don’t worry, I hit you gently so you didn’t get any internal injuries.”

“Thank you for your consideration.”

“There is no need for that. Because I’m going to cut you down from now on.

“That’s a bit difficult.”

Camilla was a battle fanatic who loved fighting, so I thought she would be happy, but that seemed to be a miscalculation.

“Um… Count Raoul…?”

While I was preparing for the sparring match, someone came up to me and spoke to me.

“Are you…?”

“I’m Neil. Neil Feehen. I’m sorry, I was rude to the Count before.”

That ponytail hair and unique hooked nose… it seemed like he was the right one. Of course, I almost didn’t recognize him because he had lost so much weight that his skin and bones were almost like that.

“You’ve lost a lot of weight.”

“I was doing chores under Camilla…”

“……. That’s not something you should do with a clear mind.”

This was something I could say because I had heard of her help after losing a bet when I was on the battlefield.

She was a woman for whom the word vitality itself did not exist. And because she didn’t know the concept of tidying up, her room was always a mess.

Even her brother said of her, ‘Even animals clean up their nests. ‘A bitch who is worse than an animal.’ Did he swear?

“Haha…”

“By the way, you won’t be bothering Cecilia again, right?”

“I feel like I’m having a hard time right now, but I wonder if I’ll even think about that. I’m busy trying to survive, but I’m a woman and I’m naked…”

“It is indeed desirable.”

“It is not desirable, but it has made the world miserable…”

“It’s like being punished. She was the one who stopped me from taking the action I was planning to take, so shouldn’t I be grateful?”

He asked me a question with a face full of curiosity and fear.

“What action were you planning to take…”

“I was trying to call an acquaintance at the Imperial Military Security Command. Currently serving as a colonel at the Imperial Military Security Command…”

“Thank you for saving me!!!!!”

I, too, was startled by the loud noise that made my eardrums explode.

“From now on, I will reflect and live as a new person…!!!”

Although the Imperial Military Security Command was certainly dragging away corrupt officers and torturing them, there was no need to be so afraid.

The best you can do is burn your feet alive, plunge your hands into boiling oil, or swallow a few mice alive.

“Still, preparing her meals won’t be an ordinary task, so it’ll be hard.”

“Yes…”

“She is a very picky eater. Even though my cooking skills are so bad that even an animal can compete with them.”

Then, a spear filled with electricity narrowly grazed the bridge of my nose. Just barely enough to slightly burn the tip of the downy hair.

“Now that I’ve heard it, I’m being treated like a sack of barley that has been borrowed for some reason?”

Camilla retrieved the spear again and gave an eerie smile.

“I just told the truth. In fact, didn’t your cooking stun a wild beast with just its scent?”

“Raul… People… When they don’t need to tell the truth… They keep their mouths shut…!”

Camilla kicked off the ground, flew up, and kicked me in the solar plexus again.

Thanks to this, the walls of the fortress that the soldiers had barely repaired were shattered and they were blown into the distant forest.

“They call it nunchi. Please engrave it.”

“… That ignorant power is becoming more and more like the teacher.”

“……. Don’t compare yourself to that strong animal.”

It seemed like becoming a parent wasn’t easy. To see something so hated. Of course, I wouldn’t mind it one bit.

If what my mother showed to me was hatred, what Teacher showed to her children was neglect. Camilla also had her first conversation with Master when she was eight years old.

Camilla and I both grew up in very similar environments, even if our temperaments were different. I had a father and Liesel, but Camilla didn’t even have that.

“Yes, I made a mistake.”

“Anyway, I’m still surprised. I wonder if you suddenly decided to smile because of some kind of wind. You’ve lived as a fool for several years.”

“I want to keep my promise even if it’s late. That’s it.”

“I’m not sure, but…”

Camilla suddenly came up to me and stroked my head. It was like a big man stroking a small chick.

“Be admirable. Should my sister give me milk?”

“First, I am one year older than you. Second, I don’t want to see the breasts of a woman who is not my lover. Third, since you have no experience giving birth…”

“Up to there. If this is a real joke, always take it seriously.”

“I recommend not making jokes that could be considered sexually offensive. If it were me, I could accept it, but if it were other people…”

“I don’t.”

Camilla was blushing lightly.

“You only do this to yourself, you frustrating bastard.”

“… Then you are.”

“Yes.”

“You think of me so kindly? I’m just happy. So close to me that you can make jokes like that without hesitation…”

“Stop avoiding it. You know what I’m talking about.”

I got caught.

If Camilla noticed it like this, it seems like she was really bad at lying this time.

I was noticing it. At least the fact that she likes me. There was no way he didn’t know that he wanted my body, my heart, and my seeds.

I am not a tactless person. Nevertheless, I deceived myself and looked away.

Because it was clear that the result would be unfortunate. I didn’t even look at trees that I couldn’t climb in the first place. So, it was I, the human being, who always cut down that tree and asked about it.

“… I don’t have a year left to live, Camilla. That’s why I’m trying to break off the engagement.”

“No, even if my body was fine, what would have been different? Even if you got married, you wouldn’t have even laid a hand on that spoiled brat out of respect.”

“I think it is quite foolish to draw conclusions based on what-ifs.”

“Tell me. Are you confident that you can lay hands on that little boy and produce a successor? No, did you plan on getting married in the first place?”

Her words were as sharp as her spear.

I could have responded with a spear, but I couldn’t respond with those words.

Because those sharp words pierced my heart and hit the nail on the head.

“How would you feel if something you wanted was thrown in the trash and used carelessly?”

“…… I don’t think it will be good.”

“Not to mention things, but that little bitch…!”

Camilla seemed to hate my fiancee.

“I hope you don’t hate her too much.”

“Why me? When you die, I will cut off that little bitch from limb to limb.”

“… Camilla.”

As I lowered my voice a little, she also started to lose her temper little by little.

Camilla’s advantage was that she was quick to understand only these areas.

“I always said that. I want to breathe.”

It was a vague thought I had every time I was at the mansion.

I had these thoughts even though my respiratory system was functioning normally.

I had a vague wish to breathe, without even knowing what it meant. That expression is just a verbal expression of the emotions that naturally arise.

“I think I can finally understand the meaning of that expression a little bit. I think it means that I want to be happy, even if only for the little amount of time I have left.”

“… It’s not too much.”

“If I become happy and can smile, if I can love myself, then I will.”

I made eye contact with Camilla and said this.

“I think I can love a woman without hesitation.”

“… Shameless guy.”

“And that means it’s the most efficient.”

But Camilla smiled and said this as if she was teasing me.

“But since you were born as a nerd, I think people will be scared if you smile. Especially little kids, they’ll get scared and run away when they see you smiling, right?”

“There is no guarantee that that will happen?”

“You can bet on anything. When you laugh properly later and the kids don’t get scared, you win. If I run away crying, it’s my victory.”

So a useless bet was about to be added to our dictionary.

“It’s meaningless.”

“Are you scared?”

“It’s not like that. What do you plan on doing if I win?”

“If you win, I will tie your hair into pigtails like a little kid and call you oppa all day long. How about it?”

“Interesting. If you win, I will become your slave for a day. A slave who can do anything he is told.”

And so the bet began, rushing towards each other’s destruction.