episode_0037

“Me, maid… there!”

– Bang!

Nervously shutting the door, Lillis disappeared outside the room.

Watching her final departure, Edan Richard Blackwood found himself momentarily lost in various thoughts.

The first time he had ever experienced the raw emotion of genuine fear for his life.

Someone harboring a sincere desire to kill him, going as far as attempting to do so.

As a scion of the Blackwood family, it was an intense and extreme emotion he had never felt before.

Under that immense pressure, Edan, unable to move from his spot even after Lillis fled the room, pondered.

“I just… I just wanted to catch the maid’s attention.”

Despite merely seeking to attract some interest from her, his actions had spiraled into deep-seated resentment and hatred.

Realizing how his antics could escalate to such animosity and vengeance, the young and naive Edan was overwhelmed by his past folly.

The suffocating pressure around his neck from the silk cloth and the faint marks left behind.

In his fading consciousness, he faced Lillis’ anger-filled expression head-on.

Her hesitation to take his life, tears streaming down her face.

Lastly, the maid’s departure after spewing curses, insults, and curses.

Each event the immature Edan had experienced left a vivid imprint in his mind, stirring intense reactions.

It also served as a catalyst for him to recognize the wrongfulness of his past actions.

“Maid…”

Though he couldn’t fully grasp all of Lillis’ words, he could almost entirely sense the intense emotions she conveyed.

Even the unfamiliar feelings she had directed towards him until now.

Edan, who had deliberately acted foolishly and disappointingly to avoid others’ expectations, found himself unexpectedly craving the attention and expectations he had shunned.

Not from just anyone, but solely from one person.

“We were together, it was fucking great, let’s never meet again.”

“…”.

Recalling Lillis’ recent display of hatred towards him, Edan felt a pang in his chest.

Would apologizing to her now lead to forgiveness?

He didn’t want to drift apart from the maid forever.

Could they return to the secretive bond they shared in the early morning kitchen when he confided in her about Lillis’ danger and received her gratitude?

If he could go back to that relationship, based on the secret they shared in the kitchen when Lillis was in danger, would she forgive him?

Despite wanting to apologize for his actions, remembering her recent reaction made him doubt if he, even as a teenage boy, could expect a positive response from her.

“Don’t speak. Edan, you bastard.”

*Sniff.*

He dreaded facing her terrifying expression again.

Confronting Lillis’ gaze filled with disgust and hatred was something he feared.

Considering his actions so far, he found it hard to imagine a simple apology would mend things.

Even though Edan’s current thinking might be at a teenage boy’s level, his past interactions within noble circles hinted otherwise.

If a single apology could resolve the emotional chasm, perhaps this situation wouldn’t have unfolded in the first place.

“Oh…”

Even repairing the torn clothes seemed like an arduous task.

The garment that had just been tightening around her neck seemed to express the depth of resentment and hatred she held towards herself.

Edan could sense that restoring this loose garment to its original state was as difficult as repairing the relationship between herself and the maid.

Normally, Edan’s nature would have been to bring up such a complex issue with her father and wait for him to resolve it. However, today’s events were something she couldn’t disclose to her father, Harold Richard Blackwood.

The moment this incident reached her father’s ears, Edan knew what future awaited Release.

Just as Release had said before leaving her room, “It ends today. If your father finds out I tried to kill you, he won’t let me off.”

To Edan, who had already lost her mother once, the concept of death was not something incomprehensible.

Once it happened, it was irreversible, and once experienced, one could never meet that person again.

And the moment she informed her father about the incident where Release almost killed her.

“…”

The adolescent boy understood clearly that Release, like his mother, would become someone he could never see again.

Despite Release’s intense hatred towards her, Edan did not despise her to the extent of wanting to kill her.

Rather, he wanted to somehow prevent her death. He wanted to feel some of the long-lost emotions from her childhood.

At least, he didn’t want to turn her into someone he could never see again in this way.

Resolving this issue that he couldn’t discuss with his father or anyone else and somehow conveying his apology to Release, his full-time maid.

That was the first task Edan Richard Blackwood had to face.

***

The next morning.

“Sigh…”

His body, accustomed to the maid’s lifestyle, resented waking up automatically at 5 a.m.

“But I still wanted to sleep in on my last day.”

Since he was already fully awake, lying back down in bed didn’t seem like an option with this ominous feeling, and he quietly sat there waiting for the punishment that awaited him.

“By now, Harald has probably reported to Heraldo.”

In fact, anticipating interruptions even while asleep, he had pretended to sleep.

If Harald found out I had tried to kill Heraldo, he would probably burst into my room right away.

However, the reason he didn’t barge in while I was sleeping might have been his final consideration before taking my life.

Although it wasn’t my main goal, thanks to my actions, I managed to retrieve Tanasia’s necklace that I almost lost forever.

And while I didn’t intend for good reviews, I also had a record of subduing the hook-armed creature that appeared in the commercial district instead of the Silverwood guards.

Looking back at the achievements he had accumulated as Release, he didn’t know if he would escape execution altogether.

Whether it was banishment beyond the realm with both eyes gouged out, or serving a ‘penalty’ like Aeliana Alicia in Silverwood.

…Either way, it was going to be tough.

Perhaps death would be preferable to that kind of punishment.

Of course, I don’t know if I can choose even that…

Facing the second death head-on, I kept feeling the faces of Isabelle and Katarina flickering in front of me.

“…I should have bid them farewell at least.”

I didn’t do something that might cause unnecessary worry in advance. If I had known it would turn out so formal like this, it wouldn’t have been a bad idea to prepare in advance.

The fact that Harold didn’t bring the mansion guards to capture me and didn’t cause any commotion probably means he wants to handle this matter quietly in his own way.

Perhaps he could have come up with a suitable excuse like Isabelle or Katarina being reassigned to another workplace to deceive them.

When a close friend and colleague suddenly disappears overnight, it’s natural to offer some reassurance that everything will be fine, given the potential shock in various ways.

Of course, if Harold were to publicly announce my crimes and execute me, even such actions would be meaningless.

“Awkward, really.”

In truth, I briefly considered using the shockwaves or magic arrows I learned to cause a ruckus inside the mansion, but I decided against it.

In the current situation, any further wrongdoing on my part could affect Isabelle and Katarina in various ways.

Especially since I’ve even hidden the fact that Katarina can use magic, making any misstep potentially more dangerous for her.

“If I’m going, only one of us needs to go. There’s no point in making a scene now.”

And come to think of it, if I die, it’ll likely be the game protagonist who suffers more, right?

Certainly, the game “Luminor Academy” is just a fairly long SRPG dating sim, so not having Release wouldn’t make it impossible to clear due to an excessively difficult level.

However, it was clear that whether Release existed or not would lead to significant changes in the game’s difficulty.

Moreover, if someone in this world playing the role of the protagonist is also a ‘possessor’ like me, they might struggle initially in a world without Release.

Of course, whether the protagonist is a possessor or not, and how the plot of “Luminor Academy” unfolds, are irrelevant to me now.

Nevertheless, crying and staying up all night helped me sort out my emotions a lot.

From now on, regardless of whatever future challenges come my way, I feel like I can accept them… well, maybe not entirely.

I’ve relaxed enough to at least mentally prepare for death to some extent.

“If it’s execution, I’ll accept it quietly, but if I’m going to be dragged off to a place like Silverwood Territory, I should try to take the opportunity to commit suicide.”

Even with a low-level spell like Magic Arrow, if I use Triple Casting to aim at my vital points, I could probably die instantly.

With those thoughts in my mind, I changed into my maid uniform for work and took a deep breath in preparation for the possibility of guards waiting for me at the door.

“……Phew”

It’s hard not to be nervous.

In my past life, I died in an accident, so there was no need to mentally prepare for death.

Preparing for an unwanted death is something that requires a considerable amount of emotional readiness.

6 AM. I walked out of the maid waiting room as casually as possible, trying to maintain composure as usual.

As soon as I opened the door and saw the face waiting for me, I was momentarily startled and almost fell back.

“……!”

“……M-Maid.”

It was Ethan Richard Blackwood, the eldest son of the Blackwood family, who had tried to slit my throat yesterday, standing in front of the door.