episode_0037

#37. I’m back (2)

Narnia Willow, the landlady of the Marquis of Willow.

Her daily routine is very simple.

I wake up, have a quick meal, sit down on a chair, and stare blankly out the window.

Then, all of a sudden, he starts drawing a boy’s face on the canvas, stares at the boy’s smile in the picture for a long time, and then, with the help of a servant, he takes a bath and falls asleep.

Her routine is so monotonous.

It’s been years since I last did some gardening, something I loved so much.

The servants who vaguely knew about her circumstances felt sorry for her and just served her in silence.

Until yesterday.

* * *

“Madam! Madam!”

A young-looking maid came into Narnia’s room with a loud bang, opening the door.

“Marine! How can you be so shameful in front of your ma’am! What are you going to do if someone who is already sick is surprised!”

“Ugh! Maid Blanche! I’m sorry! That’s… …Ugh! It’s so urgent!”

Head Maid Blanche, who is in charge of overall management of the mansion along with the head butler.

When she, who was known for being strict and was called the “Military Squad Leader” by her employees, made an angry expression and threatened them, the maid named Marinette lowered her head and continued speaking hurriedly.

Fortunately, the Marchioness didn’t seem to mind her appearance very much and just stared out the window as usual.

If the Marchioness had been startled and had a fit, Marinette might have been very shocked.

“Why on earth did you come in so hastily and without manners?”

“Maid… … That, that… … !”

“Oh, Blanche hi~ Long time no see? You still haven’t retired?”

A man’s voice I’ve never heard before.

But the frivolous tone of speech is all too familiar.

When Blanche raised her head at the unfamiliar voice coming from behind Marinette, a sharp-faced man a head and a half taller than her greeted her with a cheerful expression.

“Ke, Ke, Master Cain!? Why are you here?!”

“No, if someone asks why I’m here when it’s my house, what should I say… … .”

“Oh, no. That’s not what I meant… … .”

“Just kidding, just kidding. I stopped by for a moment on my way. I thought I’d see some familiar faces after a long time.”

Blanche was so confused that her eyes spun around at the sight of Cain striding into the room.

Having worked at Willow Road for decades, she naturally knew Kane, but she never dreamed that the child with the cute yet mature appearance would return as such a wild and solid adult.

I had heard rumors that he was alive and had made great contributions on the front lines and become a duke, but when I actually saw him in person, I couldn’t help but feel a surge of emotions.

“I see… …I’ve heard the rumors, but I’ll say hello again. Thank you for coming back in good health. And… …Thank you for your hard work, Master Cain.”

“… … Okay, thank you.”

Although his appearance has changed a lot, he is still the son of the family he served.

Blanchette was grateful to the young master for still being the same as before, treating even ordinary servants without any hesitation.

Rustle-

“Huh? Mom?”

“Ah… … !”

Alas, Kane still doesn’t know the Marchioness’s current condition.

What could happen if she, who has been suffering from guilt, comes face to face with her son?

But before Blanche could stop him, Kane approached the Marchioness and said hello.

“Mom, is this your first time seeing me since the coronation? I came to your house.”

“… … .”

“… … Mom?”

But at her strange reaction, Kane moved to sit in front of his wife and put his face in front of her eyes as she looked out the window.

“Mom, I’m here. I heard you had a cold before. Are you still feeling unwell?”

“… … .”

Narnia opened her eyes slightly wide at the worried look on Kane’s face that suddenly appeared before her eyes.

Unlike usual, when only the image of Cain as a child came to mind, the image of Cain as a dignified man from the coronation ceremony appeared, and I felt suspicious, so I raised my hand and placed it on his cheek.

Swish-

“… … ?”

It must be an illusion, but what is this sensation I feel in my hand?

It must be an illusion, but what is that warm body temperature that touches my skin?

Now that I think about it, the way Kane looked at me and the way his body moved seemed more like a real person right in front of me than a hallucination.

“… … !!!!!”

As his thoughts continued to this point, Narnia jumped up from her chair, ran to the bed next to her, and covered herself with the blanket before lying down.

“Ugh… …Ughhh!”

“Huh, Mom?”

“Uuuuu… … Sorry… … I’m sorry… … .”

“… … Blanche.”

Ouch-!

A cold voice, as if facing the snowy wind of midwinter with one’s bare body.

Blanche could barely keep her senses intact as her body instinctively flinched.

“Yes… …Master Cain.”

“Explain to me why my mother became like that. Everything. Right now.”

* * *

“… … and that is how you got to where you are now.”

Blanche’s explanation was nothing short of shocking.

‘Haa… … I guess I misunderstood you because we happened to meet at that time.’

On the day of the coronation, my mother called me.

The problem was that she grabbed me as I was running to the bathroom in a hurry because my stomach was not feeling well, and I was so out of my mind that I shook her hand off and ran to the bathroom.

After that, I didn’t see his face, so I thought he didn’t care about me and didn’t take it seriously, but he was so shocked by that that he locked himself in his room and even suffered from aphasia…

‘This isn’t something that was in the original… … .’

Immediately after I disappeared, my parents searched the area thoroughly, but when they found no trace of me, they requested military support from the imperial family.

Normally, if it was something that happened in a warrior’s house regardless of the scale, they would have provided military support, but the leaders at the time were just piglets obsessed with power.

Of course, there was no way that the warrior’s older brother, Naburang, who had no ability at all, would be allowed to provide support, and the parents also spent their time carrying the sorrow of losing their child in their hearts.

But then a child who was thought to be dead comes back alive and beats up his parents without mercy?

From a parent’s perspective, it wouldn’t be strange for them to feel heartbroken by guilt.

Moreover, since the attention was focused on Ronan, who had become a warrior, there were hardly any items that could preserve my memories.

There are a lot of family photos with Ronan, the pride of the family, but it’s hard to find photos of me. Maybe one or two at most?

When I turned my gaze to the floor, I saw papers with drawings on them scattered everywhere.

I picked up a piece of paper because it felt familiar, and sure enough, it had a picture of me as a child on it.

“… … .”

It felt strange.

Even though our blood is mixed, my soul is a fake that replaces the original Cain.

To me, they were just characters in a novel, and I, too, decided to live without much expectation, just to find my own happy ending.

I didn’t hate it. I had no reason to hate it.

I didn’t complain. There was no reason to complain.

No one hates the sky even when it rains and their clothes get wet.

No one blames the ground even if he stumbles over a rock.

Because that was natural and it was just a coincidental accident that happened occasionally.

‘… … That’s an excuse.’

Actually, it’s an excuse.

I was scared.

Those who will abandon me, those who will forget me.

A coward who ran away alone for fear of getting hurt.

That’s me.

I was able to find it. I was able to forgive it.

However, that wasn’t the case.

It’s all my fault for being a coward.

‘How pathetic.’

A son who makes his mother hide under the blanket and feel guilty.

Is there such a thing as immorality?

‘I’m going to hell.’

I wonder if they pull out people’s tongues in hell too.

With that thought in mind, I curled up like a bean worm and approached my mother.

* * *

-Why did you abandon me?

‘Ah… … No!’

-Why did you forget me?

‘I haven’t forgotten… … I haven’t forgotten yet… … .’

The imaginary Kane scolds me.

He slowly approaches me, bleeding and mangled all over his body, and scolds me.

Parents who abandon their children.

Where can you find a more serious criminal than this?

“Uuuuu… … Sorry… … I’m sorry… … .”

I am a sinner.

Even if Cain punishes this sinner right now, I have no right to refuse.

Thud-!

I felt Kane sitting next to me.

What’s next?

Should I yell at them and call them bad parents?

Or should I commit violence against them, saying that they are living well with such an ugly body?

“… … ?”

But when nothing happened no matter how long I waited, I quietly peeked my head out of the blanket to check.

“Oh, it came out.”

“??!?!”

But when I made eye contact with Kane, who was looking at me, I quickly hid under the blanket again.

“Hehe. Are you playing hide and seek with me?”

Oh? Your voice is more calm than I thought.

Not a voice mixed with anger or resentment… …just a normal voice.

“Come to think of it, when I was little, you used to cover me with the blanket to make me laugh. You would hide under the blanket and say peek-a-boo~! ”

I remember. I tried every method to comfort Kane, who was crying about leaving the mansion, and the most effective method was to hide under the blanket and surprise him.

Thinking back now, it was such a bothersome and boring task, but I remember doing it for dozens of minutes just to make Kane smile.

“Is that why? When my mom does that, I feel a little better, don’t I?”

Mom. You still call me Mom.

That’s what they call such a useless mother.

“Don’t you hate me…?”

“Why me?”

“… … !”

Kane’s answer made my heart stop.

“My mother didn’t sell me, nor did she tell me to kidnap her. She told the royal family to look for me. Come to think of it, the royal family’s kids are like bastards, right?”

“At the award ceremony, um… … I was a bit busy. Don’t misunderstand, it wasn’t because I was a mom, it was because I was in a hurry. ”

“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel resentful. I’m human too.”

“But it’s okay now. It was something that was going to happen, and now it’s all in the past.”

“I’m not saying I’ll forgive you.”

“You can’t change the past. You can’t make the past disappear.”

“But.”

“Can’t you give the Duke’s son, who has returned after a long time, a hug to say thank you for his hard work?”

Wow!

As soon as Kane finished speaking, I hugged him tightly.

It was big.

It was solid.

The small, frail Cain of old was gone.

but.

The sound of my heartbeat and the smell of the cool winter breeze passing through my chest.

My son has been whispering to me that it is true.

“… … I’m back.”

“Welcome… … .”

I’m not asking for forgiveness.

I don’t wish for my sins to be gone.

just-

It’s natural for a mother to hug her son when he returns home.

That’s it.