episode_0036

Honestly, I was taken aback.

After taking a bite of chicken in front of me, she suddenly burst into tears while taking another bite, then seemed angry after finishing eating, but blushed suddenly on the leg she yielded cutely, her face turning red and trembling.

As she nibbled on that leg again…

“Mommy… sniff… I’ve fallen… sniff… I’m sorry… sob… to insult Mommy…”

Mumbling like this, it seemed like Frodo from “The Lord of the Rings” catching fish and muttering to himself while tearing them apart raw.

Of course, comparing our pretty Heesun to Gollum is a bit much, but suddenly the atmosphere got awkward while enjoying delicious food, so it’s a bit scary…

And out of nowhere, what’s with the fall? Oh, fall (駝酪)? Milk?

Have you seen this yogurt sauce? Ah, how cute.

Well, this does seem a bit like a fall.

“Now, Heesun, do you see this white fall-like sauce here with the chicken? Dip it and try.”

“Eek! Hot! Ahhh! Ahhhh!”

“Now, this is a cheese ball, just eat it plain or dip it in this fall sauce, it’s delicious both ways.”

“Ack! Eeek! What’s this again! What is it!! Eeek! How audacious! Being audacious about food!”

“Oh my, I can’t breathe. Now, try this cola.”

“Ouch, it’s cold! Huh? What on earth is this? Huh? Master, I feel…? Ahhh… Haha! Hahaha, suddenly I feel extremely happy. Oh, Father! Hahaha, I’m happy~ I’m the happy master’s sexy lady~”

What, what’s going on?

“…I didn’t expect this?”

There’s nothing in my cola. Seriously.

If you want, I can prove it with some slightly barbaric gestures from my hometown.

Is cola a bit strong for people from heaven? But why am I fine?

Is this what they call a sugar high?

It took quite a while for Heesun, who was acting cute and pouting at me, to calm down.

“Master….”

“What’s up, Heesun, back already?”

Haha, she was all over the place, then suddenly she sat next to me, trying to comfort my melancholic mood.

“Master… I don’t remember the last moment.”

Seeing Heesun lying dejectedly on the table, looking listless, it was somewhat refreshing, and thinking back to her clinging to me happily just a moment ago, that sight was also very cute.

“Haha! Hahaha, do you know how cute you are right now?”

She still seemed affected, making a groaning sound, so I felt a bit sorry and gave her a peck on the forehead.

“You too, Master! What did you feed me exactly? Suddenly the world spun around, and I felt so good! What was that?”

It was cola… really, it was cola.

“It’s just a drink with saccharin in it… It’s a highly concentrated sweet drink… When you eat something sweet, you feel good, right? Heesun probably consumed too much sweetness all of a sudden, which made her excessively happy…”

“Oh… I see… So if you eat something very sweet, that’s what happens… I thought it was a potion color, but it was fizzy, super sweet, and suddenly made me feel great… It was so refreshing… But everything, the food and the drinks, are all new to me. How do you know about these things, Master?”

Heesun blinked her eyelashes and leaned on me, asking cautiously.

“Uh….”

Suddenly, I was at a loss for words.

Come to think of it, without even considering how to explain it, I just happily made it without thinking, eager to eat chicken?

“Wait. Did I tell Heesun about my past?”

Only then did I realize that I had been hiding a lot from Heesun.

I hadn’t even realized that I was hiding anything in the first place.

Heesun must have vaguely sensed that, hence why she asked me so cautiously while leaning on my shoulder.

Feeling sorry at the thought that Heesun might have felt disappointed.

Heesun has nothing to hide from me.

How long did she struggle before she finally asked me?

But why didn’t I confess everything to Heesun?

Is it because I’m thinking about breaking up with her? Because I want to leave on my own?

I consulted myself.

No, that’s absolutely not it. Now, I can’t live without this woman.

The answer comes out without hesitation, but… why?

My mind sinks deep inside.

One by one… I face the uncomfortable feelings that I unconsciously ignored.

……

I see.

I was throwing a tantrum like a naive child.

Because there are things I have to give up regardless of the path I choose in the future, those things hurt too much to let go.

Each possibility that could close off is precious without exception.

I was just throwing a tantrum in the empty space of my heart where no one would listen.

As an adult, I know.

A child who postpones decisions ultimately gains nothing.

Adults who have been hurt know that the worst choice is not making any choice.

Heesun, my family, and even I know this.

It was a choice where no one could be happy.

So, I had to prepare my heart from now on.

So that when the time comes to make a decision at the crossroads, I can do so without hesitation.

If it hurts, it should only be me….

Before meeting Heesun, I was afraid of such choices, challenging tigers and wandering like a stranger.

I declared that I wouldn’t give my affection to anyone.

But I… I ended up recreating something precious in this world.

Just as I once called the elderly couple in the countryside mom and dad at some point, unknowingly, I now call this beautiful woman leaning on my chest “wife.”

It was foolish and stupid, but even if I were to go back to that time, I would still consider the elderly couple as my parents and love this woman again.

How could I not love this pitiful woman who quietly waits for me, soaked in thoughts like these?

The day my mother passed away.

Perhaps I could have had no regrets in this world.

I said I would challenge the world, but maybe I actually wanted to give up…

Heesun was the one I relied on, but I could endure because of that small reliance…

People loving people was so warm.

It was natural, like not wanting to expose your bare neck to the cold winter wind.

To the extent that a lonely stranger who was about to give up everything wanted to settle down.

That’s why I hope every moment of this woman is happy.

I also hoped my family far away would be happy.

The words of Incheon Monk echo in my mind:

“If you don’t let go of sadness, people will gradually move towards more suffering.”

“Crying for the dead is no different from falling under the domination of sorrow. It’s probably not what the deceased would want from the living.”

“When you see someone who has died and left, think of them as having gone on a journey and that you won’t see them again.”

The dead must surely wish for the happiness of the living, so one must swiftly let go of sorrow like the wind blowing away cotton.

Enlightenment comes.

Having embarked on a distant journey, I wish for their happiness.

I hope that the sadness caused by me will fly away like cotton in the wind.

Do not grieve over my disappearance,

Do not sacrifice your own lives,

Always make delicious soybean paste soup,

Always work hard,

Always… attend kindergarten well, read fairy tales, get excited the night before a family trip, and sometimes stay up all night… I want to live like that.

And they will be no different.

Even those far away… will also wish for my happiness.

The words of my late mother resonate in my heart.

Do not distance yourself from people, live harmoniously, meet good partners, have children.

And… smile.

I too wished that my mother would lay down all worries and simply be at peace.

I should be the only one to suffer from my choices, but no matter what choice I made, I had to strive to be happy.

Nothing has changed.

Now, I must give my all to live life to the fullest.

Gradually, I began to realize my calling.

Fairies, mountain spirits, millstones…

All have had their destinies and stories altered slightly because of me.

I must put an end to this story.

So that the fairies may be happier than anyone else in this world,

So that the lonely mountain spirit finds a companion and realizes that good deeds do not always lead to good outcomes,

So that the wondrous and amusing millstone does not recklessly confuse the world,

I must put an end to it all.

The end of the story should always be “They lived happily ever after,”

As with all stories, before those who follow their calling, there will be trials and tribulations.

But I will find happiness in every moment. I will endure with a smile.

Because she does not wish for my unhappiness, because my family far away wishes for my laughter.

I tighten my arms around Heeseon’s shoulders, putting strength into my tired arms.

Heeseon lifts her head and our eyes meet.

We are a couple.

Beings who must love each other and wish for each other’s happiness. Beings who must spend their lives together.

I will not hide anything from her as she has done for me.

So that we can ponder future choices together.

So that Heeseon’s choices are not mine alone.

I gradually share my burdens with her and she shares hers with me.

Because that’s what being a couple means.

Now, I will love this woman without reservation. For her happiness, for my happiness, and for the happiness of those far away.

I swear that whatever choice I make, this woman will always be by my side.

Until death do us part.

You can’t escape. You’re mine, fairy.

Unconsciously, words I suppressed and unknowingly hid deep inside me burst forth with great force.

“I love you.”

“…..?”

“I love you. Heeseon, please marry me officially.”

It was a belated confession.