episode_0036

*****

“Senior, senior, are you feeling better? Aren’t sanitary pads uncomfortable?”

“Noisy.”

“Ah, even if it’s just a family register, it’s my younger sister’s first memorable event. How about a commemorative party tonight?”

“I feel like I’m going to die of embarrassment right now, so please stop… .”

My face feels hot and I can’t raise my head properly. Of course, Sia laughed and kept teasing me.

Just 5 minutes ago, the subject came running out of the door with a pale face. This is what happened as soon as I found out it was not an injury but a period.

I know you’re happy to know it’s not a big deal, but I’m truly embarrassed and I want you to stop.

“Now that I think about it, I had to check that part too. Are the sanitary pads comfortable to wear? First of all, I chose the one that was most appropriate for my body shape, but this is something that varies from person to person.”

“… I don’t know if it’s okay, but it’s not uncomfortable.”

In a different way, it was the doctor who brought up the painful story. Sia is just teasing because she feels relieved, but this story is even worse because it is really necessary for work.

If you talk about it that seriously, you can’t even change your mind or evade it.

“Thank goodness. First of all, since you don’t have much experience with menstruation, I gave you some easy-to-use sanitary pads, but the Hero Association basically recommends that female heroes use tampons. We recommend that you learn how to use the pamphlet we will drill later.”

“Oh, that’s right. This is really important, senior. If sanitary pads are moved too vigorously, they almost always leak from the inside. Female heroes usually wear tampons, and those with enough money sometimes add related functions to their suits.”

“I don’t want to hear such vivid stories… .”

“You better listen carefully, senior. It’s a feeling that we will be your companion for a long time in the future.”

That’s right. So while I’m a woman, I have to do this at least once a month.

Realizing that fact made me even more depressed.

“Still, since it is a dragon’s body, there was a possibility of unfertilized eggs coming out, but I’m glad that my period was normal.”

“… I’m asking because I don’t know, but what happens if it’s an unfertilized egg?”

“Well? Data on Yongin is extremely rare, and it is questionable whether Ms. Ami can be said to be an ordinary Yongin in the first place. There is a possibility that the vagina may be mature enough to release unfertilized eggs… . In the worst case, the stomach would have been cut open to take out the unfertilized eggs.”

“Hiik.”

When I imagined cutting open the stomach and taking out the eggs, it was so strangely vivid that I unconsciously grabbed my lower abdomen and cringed. Sia laughed again at that sight.

“Menstruation is menstruation, but the mental state is also interesting. You said you felt embarrassed about showing menstrual blood, right?”

“I’m not embarrassed, I’m just embarrassed!”

“Isn’t it the same thing? Anyway, I know you still have male values, but I really want to know where that feeling of shame about menstrual blood comes from.”

“It’s not a big deal, but people around me make a fuss, so there’s that… . But do I really have to say this?”

Personally, I didn’t want to talk about it because it was really embarrassing. But at my answer, the doctor’s eyes lit up and he came closer.

“Of course. Amisi is an unprecedented case in the world where the human soul is combined with the body of a dragon. Additionally, it is one of the few cases in the world where the gender has been changed. The connection between body, soul, and spirit is a problem that all awakened researchers in the world must solve throughout their lives, and Mr. Ami’s case can be a great indicator of this. This is not only the work of our Paranormal Object Analysis Department, but it could also be an important clue to Ms. Ami’s recovery of her original body, so unless it is a truly unavoidable reason, we ask for your cooperation.”

“Uh, uhh. I understand.”

The doctor spoke twice as fast and twice as much as usual. Every time he spoke, he got closer and closer, so Sia stretched out his arm to block him.

Ah, I didn’t want to say this because it was really embarrassing. But if it might help you return to being a man, you should put aside your shame for now.

“… I think so.”

“Yes?”

“So, it felt like I was peeing!”

To my credit, I have never peed my pants! However, although the places where menstruation and urine come out are different, they are similar in that the fluid leaks from between the crotches and makes them sticky.

So, hearing the people around me whispering while my pants were getting more and more discolored brought back memories of my past life as a child, as if people were teasing a child who had disrespected his pants.

“Hmm, hmm, I felt the same shame as urinating in public… . indeed. It is said that the similarity to the surrounding situation, not the shame of menstruation itself, was effective.”

“You don’t have to organize it one more time! Is this on purpose!?”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that.”

I don’t know if this was a joke or a laugh like Sia’s, but the doctor’s expression was truly filled with regret. Of course, I can’t criticize him in the face, so I’m the only one who gets upset.

Sia? He is holding his stomach next to him and whining. We’ll leave that to you later.

A few more questions followed after that. There were some that weren’t, but most of them were just things that stimulated my shame so much that my face showed no signs of returning to its original color.

” I think this will be enough. Thank you for your cooperation in the survey.”

“Is it really the end now? We’re not going to talk about the perception we have about menstruation or what pregnancy is like, right?”

“Yes, it’s really over.”

I sighed at the doctor’s declaration. I never thought that being asked questions about sex by a woman would be such a terrible torture.

“By the way, Director Lim said earlier that this was a rare case where the gender was changed, right? So are you saying there are other cases where the gender was changed?”

Sia said that, perhaps because she was trying to talk back or was curious about herself. Now that I think about it, something like that came up. After hearing it, I became curious too.

“Yes. There were two main types: the first is the type in which the soul’s potential itself changes gender, and the second is the type in which the soul possesses the body of another person.”

“Oh. The second one looks similar to me.”

The first one I also heard through rumors. I heard that the person’s soul changed into a woman in the first place, so although there was some confusion, she quickly started living as a woman. Because the form of the soul is also a person’s original attitude.

In that case, wouldn’t the second case be quite similar to me actually entering the body of something else? The doctor shook his head at my question.

“If you look at the format, it looks similar, but in reality, it is completely different. In cases where someone possesses another person, the form of that person’s soul itself is optimized for possessing another person. Therefore, even if possessed, the person does not assimilate or adapt to the person’s body and maintains his or her identity almost perfectly.”

It is said that if you add a drink to water, it will mix, but if you add oil, it will not mix and will maintain its shape.

Of course, even so, there is a certain degree of erosion, so if you possess too much, there is a possibility that your ego will collapse.

“So, Ami is the first case of a soul entering someone else’s body without its own safety device. It’s a valuable sample.”

“I feel like the Doctor is a bit mad right now… .”

I get a little goosebumps at the handling of this very natural research material. This is even more so because he himself is puzzled because he does not understand what I am saying.

“Then, since this has already come to an end, I guess I should teach my seniors proper sex education.”

“Seong… !? What are you talking about all of a sudden!?”

“… No, not sex education in that sense. Senior, no matter how unaccustomed you are to women, I’m a bit cold now. This is a serious story, so please listen seriously.”

“That’s right. As a woman, it is essential to know your body properly. It’s better to be sure about this.”

“No, I’m a man… ”

I tried to protest, but both of them said, ‘Is that even a problem?’ He cut me off with a stern look that seemed to say,

In the end, after several hours of temporary sex education from two people, I was barely able to break free… .

***

“I’m really tired today… .”

In the private room where both the doctor and Sia had left, I let out a small sigh. It was fortunate that both of them still had work left.

Well, it’s not even time for dinner yet. This is especially true since both of them must have abandoned their work midway because of me.

Somehow, I feel like the rate of causing trouble to people around me has increased since I came into this body. At least in the past, I could take care of my own business.

Of course, I know that it would be impossible for me, who knows nothing about women, to live alone in a female body, but it is an unpleasant thing to be reluctant about.

Ah, no, no, no. My thoughts are flowing in a negative direction again.

During the menstrual period, various effects occur due to the influence of hormones, etc., but Sia says that she seems to be a little negative.

… But is it really all because of periods?

I stretched out my arms. It is a white and smooth arm with no visible muscles. Its length was almost half that of its previous body.

If I were to fight Odin now, I would end up like minced meat in less than 10 seconds. The dream was a dream, but the result was not much different from reality.

The hero ‘Kwonseong Asura’ was a bundle of bravado. It was partly because of my potential and partly because of my personality… . Asura had enough skill to turn his bravado into truth. Although the confidence may have been excessive, it was not without foundation.

But what about the hero Fafnir? Is there any basis for such bravado? Even if Ymir were to attack right now, would he be able to block his path armed with all his bravado and arrogance?

As a hero, can you protect everyone?

The answer was no. This body, which cannot properly deal with even the Sword Demon, cannot properly deal with the coming threat.

That doesn’t work. Not good. I am a hero. Otherwise──-

“──!?”

As soon as I felt gaze, my body moved almost reflexively. I knocked down the intruder and twisted my arm back with a natural movement, as if I had done it dozens of times.

I was so lost in thought that I didn’t notice until I got this close. I got goosebumps at my own complacency. No, maybe I’m just so weak that I don’t even notice this.

Either way, it’s not something I’m worried about right now. Fortunately, the intruder didn’t seem to be used to fighting. First, pull out one arm──

“It hurts, it hurts! Amy, I’m sorry! I did something wrong, so let me go!”

“──!”

Slurp. The arm I was holding slipped out of my grasp. The transparent space in front of my eyes shook and Raon’s appearance was revealed.

“Ouch… . Sorry, I meant to surprise you, but I guess you really surprised me… . Oh, but how did you know before I surprised you?”

“Ah, so, um. … Persimmon?”

Raon was showing a difficult expression of pain and puzzlement, but my mind was so confused that I couldn’t come up with a proper answer.

What was I going to do now?

“Wow, that’s amazing! No one I met on the way here noticed.”

“Ha, haha… . To this extent.”

My heart is still pounding from the fact that I almost ripped off my friend’s arm.

The fact that Raon used invisibility magic was no excuse. If it were me, I would be able to recognize it through things like the presence of magical power and the sound of footsteps. In the first place, there was no way a suspicious person could enter the security floor of the medical center right next to the Hero Association.

Still, it’s like this. I knew well enough to hate myself that I was quite anxious.

Let’s calm down for now. Because I’m preoccupied with useless thoughts, my thoughts keep flowing in strange directions.

Those who become heroes should always have peace of mind. Then, wouldn’t you have the mentality to look cool even in a crisis?

“Anyway, I was really surprised, so don’t play pranks like this.”

“Hehe, okay. I’m sorry.”

Raon smiled and moved on despite my mild rebuke. Fortunately, he didn’t seem to notice what kind of situation he was in just now. I want to emulate this innocence.

Anyway, what is Raon doing here? The basement of the medical center is a place where access is restricted. It probably won’t come anytime soon.

When I asked him about it, Raon answered proudly, drawing a V with his fingers.

“Army, I came to look for you!”

“Me? How did you find it?”

” Teacher Sia told me that he was here.”

Well, otherwise, he wouldn’t have been able to do such a big thing by using an invisibility spell as a prank on the controlled area.

Maybe Raon doesn’t even know that this is a restricted area. People who have received permission can travel in the same way as using the above facilities.

“Why did you come looking for me?”

“I want to apologize for what happened earlier.”

“If you’re hurt, I’m fine, as I said then. It wasn’t that I was hurt in the first place─”

“Ah, I heard that from Teacher Sia. So that’s what I’m trying to apologize for. I’m sorry, I made a big deal out of it by calling people… . Were you embarrassed?”

… It was definitely incredibly embarrassing. The direction may be a little different from what Raon thinks.

“That’s it. It’s because you’re worried about me. It’s my fault for getting hit by a minotaur for no reason.”

“Ahaha… . It’s a bit awkward to say to boys, so Hwa-in and Jeong-yeong think it’s just an injury. First of all, I said it was a minor injury.”

Well, if you were attacked by a monster and lost blood, anyone would think it was an injury. If it weren’t for the subtle feeling between my legs, I would have mistaken it for an injury.

I appreciate you coming to apologize, but I don’t feel like laughing and talking with anyone right now. The dull feeling from before still remained within me. If possible, I’d like to be alone right now.

“So, let’s go eat something delicious together!”

While I was thinking about how to convey that I wanted to be alone, I suddenly heard this and was taken aback without realizing it.

“Why suddenly?”

“I also had a hard time during my first period. But after eating something delicious, I felt energized. So this time, I’ll give it a try!”

“No, that means─”

“Come on, let’s go!”

Raon led me recklessly. Of course, based on my strength alone, Raon wouldn’t have been able to drag me along, but it was also because of the mistake I made that almost hurt Raon, so it was hard to refuse strongly.

“Si, I have to tell my older sister.”

“It’s okay, I got permission earlier!”

“I’m wearing a patient gown right now… .”

“It’s okay, I got a change of clothes from Teacher Sia!”

There was a large paper bag outside the hospital room. Could it be that Sia sent Raon in the first place not to apologize, but to deliver a change of clothes?

“I am now──”

“It’s okay!”

“Even so──”

“It doesn’t matter!”

In the end, after all my excuses were blocked by the Infinite Positive Girl, I raised my hands and surrendered. Raon put both hands on his waist and stuck out his chest, as if showing off his victory.

I thought it was a very familiar pose, but when I thought about it, it was a pose I often do.

“… Do you have a place in mind?”

“Just leave it to me!”

“Okay. I’ll change my clothes and leave, so please wait outside.”

“Yes!”

I still haven’t thought about eating anything, but it’s not good to keep ignoring my friend’s worries. With a wry smile, I started taking clothes out of the paper bag.

Still, it wasn’t a bad thing to have someone worry about you.

***

And after a while. I wanted to slap myself 10 minutes ago for following along without thinking.

“? What’s wrong?”

“Well, did you say you were eating something… .”

“Yes! It’s here. I’ve always wanted to come here at least once.”

The store itself was an ordinary dessert cafe. However, the surrounding area is filled with pink interiors.

You go into a restaurant that would be too burdensome to just look at and eat there. This is a very high-level act for me now. Entry restrictions apply.

“Raon, do you remember that I am a man?”

“Yes!”

“You might not know because you have memory loss, but it’s not easy for a man to enter a store full of pink like this, right?”

When shopping for underwear, didn’t the girls end up going to places that only sell women’s clothes? Oh, then you might not know, right?

Sure enough, Raon tilted his head with an innocent expression.

“You know? When I asked to go with Jeongyoung or Hwain, their faces turned pale and they were disgusted.”

“If you know! why! I brought you here!”

“? ARMY is okay, right?”

no! It’s not okay! Socially dead!

But before I could say anything, Raon grabbed my arm and dragged me into the store.

“Look, Army, your strength is enough to resist, but you’re following me in like this. I’ve seen this on the internet. Does this mean the body is honest?”

“No! That’s absolutely not the case!”

“Oh, I know this too. They say a strong negative is a positive.”

Who is this guy who left such a harsh thing in a place where he could see it? I’m not telling you not to watch that stuff, but pay attention!

I never thought it would go in this direction, as I was reminded of the mistake I made earlier and became reluctant to resist strongly. But I still felt reluctant to throw my arm away. What should I do with this… ?

“A super extra large parfait!”

“… Please give me the same one.”

What should I do? What should I do? Is it okay if I catch him calmly?

The entire inside of the store had a pink design. I can’t calm down because I feel like I’m in a place I really shouldn’t be. Aren’t I getting reported?

Unlike me, who was restless, Raon didn’t seem any different from coming to an ordinary cafe.

“If you’re already ordering something, wouldn’t it be better to order something else and share it?”

“It was listed on the main page as a recommendation.”

To be exact, even the menu was pink, so that was all I could see when I glanced at it.

Since I avoided eye contact when answering, I think Raon knew how I chose the menu. A very small sigh escaped Raon’s mouth.

“I thought about it the last time I went to buy underwear, but I think you’re paying too much attention to that kind of thing.”

“Which side is that?”

“Looking like a woman.”

Mmm. A sigh escaped from my mouth. Raon’s words hit the nail on the head.

“But you usually don’t care… ?”

“That’s not necessarily true. Take a look around.”

Looking around. I’m a little scared because I feel like everyone is staring at me.

Of course, it wasn’t a horror movie and nothing like that happened. Everyone is just chatting among themselves like a normal cafe. There were even a few men inside the store.

“Did you see it? No one cares?”

“If you came when I was a man… .”

“Even so, it’s the same. Isn’t there a man who came alone over there? No one cares.”

No, when you just said ‘the man who came over there alone’, that person’s shoulders flinched. It seems like you care a lot.

Of course, it’s not like I didn’t know what Raon wanted to say, so I didn’t necessarily say it out loud.

“Of course, I don’t know how someone whose gender suddenly changes feels. But──”

“Two extra-large parfaits arrived!”

While Raon was talking, the parfait we ordered came out. As expected, it was an enormous size, befitting the name of super extra large.

This was a bit of a mistake. It was too big to eat without feeling like eating anything.

I looked away from the parfait in front of me and urged Raon to tell the story with my eyes. But Raon had already sunk his spoon into the huge parfait in front of him a long time ago.

“Try a bite first! The story comes later.”

“Pretend,” Raon’s spoon pointed to my parfait. For my part, I want you to talk to me first.

However, Raon’s expression in front of me looked too happy to keep letting go. Is it that delicious?

It seemed like he had no intention of continuing the conversation until I actually ate it, so I just stuck my spoon into the parfait. From the beginning, I was somewhat fond of sweet things. After eating in moderation, we continue talking… .

… ─?

“… … .”

Mumbling.

Keep talking… .

“… … ”

Mumbling, mumbling.

What is this, it’s incredibly delicious!

It feels like the sweetness travels up my nerves and explodes at the synapses in my head. The fireworks in my imagination had two clear letters engraved on them. Mimi (taste). I don’t even know what I’m talking about.

“You seem to like it quite a bit?”

Sigh. Raon smiles as if he knew that would happen. Almost half of the huge parfait underneath was gone.

Obviously, I really wasn’t in the mood to eat anything just a moment ago, but this… .

I looked to see if the parfait was a special dish, but it was just an ordinary parfait that was large in size. If you see that people around you don’t seem to be reacting in any particular way, it seems like it’s you who has changed, not those around you.

Now that I think about it, I have never had a sweet dessert like this since I became this person. Maybe I’ve become less able to eat spicy food.

Depending on the person, sweets can be this delicious… .

“… Well, it’s not bad?”

Even though I had said it, Raon did not question me about it. Instead, Raon continued with what he had just said.

“I don’t know what it feels like to go from a man to a woman. Ami, I don’t know if your avoidance of feminine things is your original preference, or if it’s just a reaction to suddenly becoming a girl.”

“Ah… .”

There was something that immediately came to mind in Raon’s words. It was definitely too much for me to come to a store like this even as a man. However, they probably didn’t get sick of the fact that the menu was pink. I guess I just thought it was a rather unusual menu.

It is true that it was stressful for people around me to treat me like a girl. Perhaps, as Raon said, the desire to return to her original body turned out to be a rejection of femininity.

“But at least I know that. If it’s something you can’t change anyway, it’s much better to be happy than to be in pain, right? I think that applies to life too.”

“… Because you too are living a new life?”

“That’s it!”

Raon smiled brightly and gave an OK sign as if it was the correct answer.

Seeing that smile reminded me of Raon’s setting in the ‘original work’. A girl with an amazing talent for magic. A girl with no memory of herself. Nevertheless, she is a girl who does not bother to search for her past.

“Do you remember the conversation we had at the center last time? When I said I lost my memory, you said that every day would be new, right? I was very happy because it felt like they understood how I felt at that time.”

“That’s… .”

I simply copied Raon’s lines from the novel. Now that I think about it, it was a very irresponsible agreement.

“I think the same can apply to you, Army. Of course, you have old memories differently than I do, but wouldn’t that make you feel more new?”

Like this parfait. Saying that, Raon took another bite of the parfait.

As Raon also said, Raon and I have different cases. The self-awareness that has been built up over a dozen years in this life alone is not something that can be easily thrown away just by changing one’s body.

However, the girl named Raon in real life, not the Raon in the novel, was truly a girl who cherished the new things she had acquired. The words spoken by someone who has personally practiced them have different weight.

And more than anything, the parfait in front of me was too delicious to deny it outright.

“… That’s right. I just hate it and it’s not something I should watch.”

“That’s right. You know the saying, “Once you do it, you’ll feel better,” right?”

“For now, let’s forget everything we heard on the Internet.”

The plausible atmosphere is in shambles!

“Hehe. I’m glad, I feel relieved. When I approached him to surprise him, I was worried because he seemed to be really worried about something. How about it, girls aren’t bad, right?”

“Girls aren’t bad?”

“? You were worried about getting your period, right? So, I thought that if there was a loss from being a girl, I could offset it with the advantage of being a girl. I wanted to teach you the good things about girls.”

… It was something like that. In reality, there were more complicated things involved, but fundamentally, it may not be much different as it is the cause.

“What would you have done if I didn’t like sweets so much?”

“I lost my memory, but I still had the basic common sense of society, right? Girls like sweet things. This is common sense!”

A simple, if simple, thought made me chuckle. Come to think of it, Raon was also a girl with such strange common sense.

But sometimes people are very simple. Or is it because my hair received nutrients from eating something sweet? Somehow, I felt like there was some answer to what I was worried about.

okay. Because things are very, very good now compared to the original. There will be no need to suddenly become stronger as if being chased by something like in the past. In fact, I couldn’t understand why I was so anxious just a moment ago.

Isn’t it because I really felt better after eating something sweet? However, I want to believe that I am not that simple.

“Ah, that’s right. Hwain helped me set a schedule for Chuseok.”

“I don’t need to worry. If I hadn’t been going somewhere with you anyway, I would have stayed home, right?”

It is not just the social situation that has improved. Don’t you have friends like this who can share your worries and help each other? That fact alone makes me feel like something will work out.

okay. I’m sure you can do well. While repeating that, I enjoyed chatting with Raon at the cafe.

*****