episode_0035

Her voice was very calm as she asked to come to the Topaz Palace, but there was a trembling in it.

The silence as she waited for John’s answer tightened her chest.

“Do you have anything else to say?”

John asked, tilting his head. It was difficult for him to know Rudella’s intentions. There was no particular reason for it to happen…

“That, that, um. You risked your life to save me, and I feel bad that you haven’t repaid me. How about coming to the Topaz Palace…?”

Rudel’s voice, which was stammering and rambling, gradually grew smaller.

“Well… … Okay. I don’t really have anything to do besides training.”

As soon as his acceptance came, Rudel’s face brightened. She wanted to smile brightly right away, but she held back desperately because she was in the right place.

“Then I will guide you to the Topaz Palace.”

Rudel turned around. Her ears, visible next to her shiny silver hair, were bright red.

“Okay.”

John adjusted his clothes and followed Rudella and her servants.

It was quite a distance from the Imperial Palace to the Topaz Palace where she was staying.

After passing the golden-shining palace, a large garden appeared. Lilies were blooming everywhere.

John said.

“There are a lot of lilies in the garden. Lady Bismark must like lilies. She has so many in her garden.”

The fact that she likes lilies was inferred from the scent they emanated when we were in the cave together before. They were flowers that went well with Rudelas.

“That’s right. I think it’s a flower that suits me well with my pure white silver hair.”

Even during the conversation, Rudel didn’t look at John because her heart was still beating fast.

“… By the way, how did you know that I take care of the garden?”

“Usually, Her Majesty the Empress and Her Royal Highness the Crown Princess manage these parts.”

Even in the lives of nobles, it was the wife’s job to take care of the gardens and exterior of the mansion. For some reason, that was how John was taught.

I thought, “Oh, that’s okay, it wasn’t that important,” and left it at that.

“Ahem. That’s right. Before becoming the crown princess, the empress gave me various tasks, saying that I had to take many classes. Garden management was one of them.”

As the conversation continued, Rudel’s trembling stopped. If she looked at Johan’s face, her heart would start pounding again, but she was just glad that she didn’t see any strange behavior during the move.

“You must be tired. You have to take care of many official duties, and you have small tasks as well.”

“It’s not that hard. I’ve been used to this kind of schedule since I was young.”

A small smile spread across Rudella’s lips at John’s worried tone.

I wondered why I was so easily taken aback by that man’s words, but decided not to care.

Because I decided to enjoy this moment.

“You’ve arrived. This is the Topaz Palace.”

John looked up. Was it because this was the palace where the crown princesses lived? It had an impressive appearance.

Gold and pale vermilion hues surrounded the building, and the intricate floral designs carved into each arched window caught the light and sparkled like jewels.

Flowers were in full bloom around the palace, including lilies that seemed to have the color of rudelas, and water streams gently spread out in the sunlight from the large fountain in the center.

“What about the Topaz Palace?”

Rudel asked, looking back furtively. It was to check Johan’s expression. She couldn’t look at his face properly yet, but she wanted to check his reaction.

“That’s amazing. Do you always live here?”

“That’s right. She’s not the crown princess yet, but she’ll be soon.”

Stand tall. As she spoke, Rudella’s body stopped for a moment. She was struck by the words she had said about becoming the crown princess.

“I see. It’s a beautiful palace, like Lady Bismark.”

John said with a grin. His gaze was filled only with the Topaz Palace, but Rudella felt as if her breath had stopped.

Just now, did you say she was beautiful? Those words flew like a knife and stabbed her heart. She tried to say something, but no words came out. Her lips just moved.

“Aren’t you going in?”

John asked, tilting his head. The two were standing blankly in front of the Topaz Palace.

“Oh, sorry. I was out of my mind. Let’s get right into it.”

Rudel smiled awkwardly and brought Johan into the Topaz Palace.

Although it was like letting a stranger in, it was not strange in the eyes of others. It was because there was a reason to repay the person who saved her life.

The interior was a perfect blend of antique furniture and topaz decorations, fully displaying the dignity of the Crown Princess. Inside, there was a living room and study, her own space, and the garden view outside the window added a gentle sense of peace.

“Sit down.”

“Yes.”

John was led to the reception room and sat down on a soft sofa. The softness that made him feel like he could melt brought about fatigue.

‘The furniture is also quite high-quality.’

It wasn’t pushed by the furniture in the Perbache mansion. No, it would be strange if it was pushed. This is the Topaz Palace where the crown princess lives.

“Spread out, sit comfortably.”

“Sit comfortably.”

“Is that so…?”

Rudella was restless and rolling her eyes here and there like an anxious puppy. I brought her here because I didn’t know when I would see her again, but when she was actually sitting in front of me, I didn’t know what to do.

“By the way, you are doing exactly what I said.”

“What do you mean…?”

John smiled lightly and looked around the living room.

“Didn’t I tell you to be clever? It would be nice to take a break like this, saying you have something to talk about by calling someone.”

“I see… … . The trick is to smoke it like this… … .”

Rudella nodded, becoming serious. At that time, I didn’t know what he was talking about, but this is how it was done.

“If you only focus on work, you will get tired, and if you get tired, you will get stressed. You need to manage it so that you don’t get sick.”

Rudella smiled slightly at John’s words that sounded like admonition. She didn’t mind hearing anything from him. After all, it was all about worrying about her.

“I’ll be careful.”

Rudel gave a small smile and rang the bell at the corner of the reception table. Then, as if he had been waiting, the servant who came in bowed.

She asked.

“Do you have a favorite car?”

“I eat anything that isn’t sweet.”

“I see.”

When she nodded, the servant who immediately understood left the room.

Johan, who thought that even this was typical of Rudella, snickered without realizing it.

“… Did something weird just happen?”

“No. I just… …I thought it was Lady Bismark-like.”

“Something like me… ?”

Rudel tilted her head slightly, seemingly not understanding what Johan was saying.

“A strict atmosphere and quick work. I think these two things go well with Lady Bismark.”

At the mention of the stiff atmosphere, Rudella spoke cautiously.

“Am I being stiff…?”

“You can’t say it’s soft.”

“Hmm.”

Perhaps because she thought it was a bad word, Rudella stroked her chin and narrowed her eyebrows. Even that appearance was so beautiful that Johan turned his gaze away.

“It’s not a bad thing. It’s a characteristic of a person who has both strengths and weaknesses.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes.”

“Hoo.”

Rudel nodded with interest. It felt strange to be with him every time. Perhaps it was because he had heard so many unfamiliar words.

At that moment, there were three knocks on the reception room door. When the door opened, a servant with a tea cart came in.

“We will bring you tea.”

The servant poured the tea as if he was used to it, and placed the steaming cups in front of Rudella and Johan.

When Rudella nodded, the servant, who understood immediately, left the room.

“The servants seem to know what Lady Bismark means just by looking at her eyes.”

“Because they are servants who have spent time together since the Bismark family.”

As she spoke, she lifted the teacup and sniffed at its fragrance. The sweet scent of flowers and the scent of lilies from Rudella mixed together and enveloped Johann’s sense of smell.

“But you know.”

“What is it?”

“Why haven’t you been making eye contact since a while ago?”

“… … .”

When John tilted his head, Rudella simply turned her head away.

“Is it hard to see my face?”

“That’s not it… … .”

Rudel felt herself being consumed by emotions she couldn’t control. Every time she looked at Johan’s face, her heart would beat like crazy, and even a single glance from him would send her into a whirlwind of emotions.

Ludella was just sipping her teacup at the complex emotions created by the combination of four things: longing, desire, suppression, and fear.

“It seemed like everything was fine before going to Sanburg.”

“… … .”

“You haven’t made eye contact since you hid in the cave.”

“… … .”

Although John continued to speak, Rudella only nodded slightly and did not respond. She could not answer… … .

John thought about this.

‘no way.’

As Francia had said, could it be that Rudela Bismark harbored feelings for her that were more than just favoritism? It was not impossible, but… … .

‘That’s strange.’

She was destined to become the crown princess. It was a structure built long ago, a goal that would never crumble.

But then that all falls apart in an instant, and he starts to harbor feelings for her that go beyond favoritism? It was hard to believe. It didn’t make sense.

‘If that’s the case, then it might have been triggered by what happened in the cave.’

What did he do? He just lightened the mood so that his escort would not feel uneasy, and he gave her a little advice for fear of ruining Rudela Bismark’s life.

As expected, I really don’t understand a woman’s heart…

“It’s almost time. I guess I should go now.”

Johan decided he shouldn’t spend any more time with Rudella, so he checked his watch and got up from his seat.

“Are you leaving already? I haven’t even repaid you yet… … .”

“A cup of tea is enough.”

John smiled faintly. Rudella swallowed again.

“It’s okay to see her off. I’m sure Lady Bismark is busy too. Thank you for today.”

“Wait a minute─”

As he tried to leave, Rudella’s hand rose to grab him and stopped in midair. However, it was Johan who cut it off like a sword and left the place.

* * *

After John left, Rudella did not leave the living room for a long time.

The drawing room was quiet and warmly lit, but Rudel’s heart was pounding wildly, as if mocking him.

This was because the desires and longings he harbored grew and became unsuppressible.

It was a feeling that should not be harbored, a desire that should not be longed for.

‘This is difficult… … .’

Rudella placed her hand on her forehead and squeezed her eyes shut.

I was trying to enjoy a brief moment of sweetness with him, but that moment soon became something I wanted for the rest of my life.

A smile that takes your breath away.

Words and actions that make your heart race.

A mind that cares about itself.

There wasn’t a single thing I didn’t like.

But that shouldn’t be done.

Because he has a lover.

Because she is the crown princess.

Because I can’t have a special relationship with him.

But why is that?

I couldn’t suppress the inappropriate desires that kept rising from deep within my heart.

Rudel placed her hand on her chest and took a deep breath. Still, the smile Johan had given her earlier did not leave her mind.

That smile he wore was special. Like the softly shining moonlight, it was embedded in her mind and did not disappear even when she closed her eyes.

The presence of John sent ripples deep into her heart, leaving her with great tremors.

‘It’s difficult… … .’

Rudel was tormented by uncontrollable emotions.