episode_0035

IF side story when Bianca ambushes and kills Ilya in episode 19.

***

Looking back, I think that day was the beginning of all misfortune.

The day I lost in a sparring match with my junior. And the day I witnessed hot sex between Theo and my junior through the door…

That day, I killed my junior.

I don’t remember how I killed him. My memories are sparse and interrupted. I guess it was a memory I wanted to forget too.

What I remember clearly now is that I completely lost my senses that day, and when I came to, I was standing over my junior’s corpse, covered in blood.

It was only when I saw my junior’s heart beating in my palm that I realized that I had killed him.

A terrible feeling of guilt came over me.

Although I didn’t have a very cordial relationship with my junior, there was still some bitterness between us. I also felt a sense of intimacy deep down. At least it wasn’t a bad relationship.

however···

I killed that junior with my own hands.

I stood there for a while, trembling with regret and guilt.

‘What on earth did I do…? ‘Why did I… kill my junior…?’

I was appalled at myself.

I felt pitiful whenever I saw Dragonians running wild and unable to control their blood flow, but in reality, I was a beast no different from them.

If I could, I wanted to turn back time. Before killing my junior.

But of course, the time that had passed did not go back. Regret was always late.

I shouldn’t have done that. No matter how much I wanted to have ‘him’…

‘that···?’

Only then did I remember why I killed my junior.

I finally remembered. I killed my junior to get ‘him’ back.

Grabbing my mind that felt like it was about to break, I slowly turned my head and looked for ‘him’.

The purpose of killing my junior… I need to capture in my eyes the image of him wanting to take over his junior, even if it meant killing him. Otherwise, I felt like I wouldn’t be able to survive.

And found Theo.

He was holding onto the body of the junior I had killed and shaking it desperately. It was almost pitiful.

Theo sheds a lot of tears and sobs, begging his junior to come to his senses.

It was meaningless. His heart had been ripped out, and there was no way he could survive. Have you still not figured out the situation? He was a foolish man.

But when I saw that, I felt angry for some reason. The guilt that had been tormenting me for a moment disappeared, and anger of unknown origin took its place.

I took the heart in my hand, burst it, and threw it in front of him.

The crushed heart fell to the floor.

Theo is shocked and scared. His body trembled and he raised his head and made eye contact with me. I don’t even know what kind of eyes I had. What was certain was that he didn’t seem to have good eyesight.

Theo made eye contact with me and peed on the spot.

It was as if he had encountered a terrible monster.

Even in the midst of his fear, he made a move to take his junior’s body and run away.

I got angry again. Theo’s eyes looked at me like he was a monster, but the sight of Theo not giving up on his junior even in this situation was truly unbearable. It felt like my reason was about to fly away again.

Still, I suppressed my anger and forcibly lifted him up and left the scene. I felt like if I lost my temper this time, I would do something terrible to Theo.

That was 4 years ago.

***

Naturally, what happened after that became very serious.

It had been about three days since I brought Theo to the family.

There was news that Duke Carlstein, filled with anger, had raised an army in the north. She wanted revenge for her daughter. She only asked for two things.

My life and Theo’s.

However, that was a request that could not be granted. I was the heir of the Martinez family. Where are the idiots who would give up their family’s heir? In the end, we also gathered troops to fight against Karlstein.

And then the civil war began.

I fought to the death. From small battles of hundreds to rotations of ten thousand. The fight grew bigger and bigger.

Before we knew it, the fight between the Carlstein family and the Martinez family had spread into a fight between the entire North and South.

The empire was split in half and a bloody war broke out.

Duke Carstein was truly amazing.

As if the Great Sword of the Continent was not a fool, wherever she went, news of our side’s defeat came.

But neither my father nor I stayed still. We also sounded the news of victory wherever we went.

We fought like that for about two years.

At about that point, I realized it for sure. This war will end only if the duke is killed. As it was, the damage only piled up.

In the end, my father and I decided to seize the opportunity and join forces and put it into action.

My father and I took the duke by surprise.

The Duke was strong. In particular, the fact that she was not afraid of death made her even stronger. He was a monster crazy about revenge.

If I hadn’t woken up when I heard the Duke’s threat to tear Theo to pieces, either my father or I would have died.

Still, somehow we succeeded in killing the duke. However, in the aftermath, my father suffered a serious injury and had to retire. I was glad I bought it.

After the Duke’s death, the northern power disintegrated. All but a small number of remnants surrendered.

We won.

***

A year has passed since the civil war ended.

My father resigned from his position as the head of the family and went on a convalescence, and I busily worked as the head of the household and cleaned up the damage caused by the war.

And at the same time, I tried to repair my relationship with Theo. I tried my best to buy him various things and appeal to him about my harmlessness. Smile as much as you can, be kind, and treat him like you used to.

I wanted to return to the position of a respected senior. But it wasn’t easy.

He still looked at me like I was a monster and got into a fight every time I approached him. It seemed like he was still thinking about his dead junior.

After listening to the story, it seems like the engagement was forced, but I don’t know why people think that way.

If you think about it, didn’t I save you?

I was a little disappointed, but I waited and believed that time would solve the problem.

Another year has passed.

***

“Rain, Bianca senior… Can I go home now?”

“······No. There are still many remnants of Calstein left. It’s dangerous outside the mansion.”

“But I’ve already been home for 4 years…”

“Didn’t I say no!!”

“Hiccup!”

Silence flowing for a moment.

“······I’m sorry for getting angry. But that still doesn’t work. I can’t put you in danger. Hmm, or how about going on a picnic with me? It will definitely relieve your frustration and make you feel better.”

“P, picnic is okay, senior…”

“I told you to call me sister.”

Theo euphemistically expressed his refusal and disappeared from the office as if running away.

“Haa···”

As Theo left, a deep sigh escaped my lips.

Despite my best efforts over the past year, my relationship with Theo has not improved at all. He was still scared of me. Only the acting improved a bit, but the damned gaze that looked at me like a murderer or a monster was the same.

I was heartbroken as to how long I would have to stay like this. Lately, he’s been clamoring every single day to be sent home, but it’s been difficult to keep him in the mansion anymore, making excuses and excuses. It was slowly reaching its limit.

‘During the academy days, people liked me just by talking to them…’

How did it come to this? Life was so meaningless.

Actually, it was a bit unfair. I have never done anything bad or said anything bad to him, so why should I be treated like this? This was unfair treatment.

To be honest, I was almost angry now. A year ago, I felt sad, but now I even felt angry.

How much effort have I put in for myself. He even killed his favorite junior and was even willing to go to war with Calstein. That means he risked his life. Plus, they gave me everything I wanted, including nice clothes and good food. I can’t believe you treat me like that…

‘Should I just slap you in the face until you obey me…?’

The moment the thought began to creep in. I barely managed to hold onto my senses.

Without realizing it, I was planning to do something violent to Theo. This was dangerous. It was also slowly becoming difficult for me to control it.

I hope Theo doesn’t provoke me anymore…

***

That night, I caught Theo trying to sneak out of the mansion. It was just before I got out. If it weren’t for the alarm magic, I wouldn’t have noticed he was gone until tomorrow morning.

My heart went cold when I saw Theo seriously trying to run away from me. My head also got cold.

“Don’t block me!! I’m really going!! You have no right to stop me!!”

Theo says something. But it doesn’t reach my ears. It was just sad.

Why are you doing this… why don’t you know how I feel…?

“I want to go home now… I miss my family too… will you please send me off…? Since your senior is a good person… it’s okay…?”

Why are you turning me into a monster…?

“Well, I’m going… Take care… See you later when you get a chance…”

After speaking, Theo walked carefully. A gait that feels like walking on thin ice, in case it irritates me. But I didn’t stop walking.

Theo leaves me.

Ah… that doesn’t work either. I can’t stand it…

Cover!

“Senior?! Why are you shaking your head? Wow!!!”

Quality…

I have to make sure that he can never escape.