episode_0034

“Are you serious right now?”

“Yes, I really mean it.”

Isabelle’s eyes shined transparently.

You can’t believe you say such crazy things so casually.

I was so shocked that I burst out laughing.

“I’m not asking for forgiveness right away. Of course it will be difficult. So, like now, whenever your anger builds up, relieve it with me. Because you can do anything to me. I’ll be by your side whenever you want.”

“It’s completely turned.“

“But I hope that my sincerity reaches you at least like this.”

My blood pressure soared due to the repeated conversation.

“I’m not curious about your true feelings, nor do I want to know.”

“But Kyle, the only one who can punish me is you.”

“Shut your mouth.”

“Please. Because it’s okay just once. Finally, give me a chance to atone for you.”

Atonement, atonement, atonement for that damn thing.

After hating Kyle as he pleases, he is now forcing me to forgive him with sad eyes, as if he were a victim himself.

Ah, now I understand.

Why is she clinging to me like this, asking me to punish her?

Even if she is hated, she desperately wants to be involved with Kyle.

To heal his own trauma while being abused by the man he killed with his own hands.

And, to escape from the swamp of regret that I can’t escape from.

It’s extremely selfish.

Even when you hate Kyle for the rest of your life, or when you later regret your mistakes, the only thing that matters is your own feelings.

It’s still the same now.

Because I feel resentful of my situation.

Because you can’t control your emotions.

Because the past mistakes that bind me are painful.

Surprisingly, Isabelle did not change.

“You haven’t changed.”

“Kyle… ”

“Shut your mouth and listen. what? Slap and spit on your face? Do you hope that my anger will be relieved?”

I was so shocked that I could only laugh.

My teeth trembled from the seething anger.

“Why me?”

“… ”

“Then did you think the words “thank you” would come out of my mouth?”

I bent down and was at eye level with Isabelle, who was kneeling.

My face, reflected in her eyes, was distorted.

“If you want to throw away your memories or feelings, find a trash can. Don’t be harsh on me for no reason.”

At the same time, the corners of Isabel’s mouth twitched.

It was a somewhat twisted laugh.

“But, I want to be forgiven at least like this.”

“What? Forgiveness?”

Isabel nodded with unfocused eyes.

I was wondering if it was true, but it seems to be real.

I stared at Isabelle in front of me.

She believed without a doubt that the man in front of her was Kyle Winfred.

My teeth were shaking.

I’m not Kyle.

From the way they walk, to the way they speak, to their little habits, nothing matches.

If there was even the slightest interest in Kyle.

If only I had observed Kyle’s behavior at all on a regular basis.

The fact that Kyle’s soul was replaced…

I could never, never have known.

A thought suddenly occurred to me.

Ah, it’s all pointless.

Because the owner of this body that Isabel so desperately seeks is already dead.

Because I couldn’t handle the world’s malice, because I couldn’t endure the slings called hate.

“… … ”

The overwhelming sense of reason was cut off.

I knew it wasn’t something I should be angry about, but even so, my ears felt hot from the anger boiling up in my Danjeon.

I just couldn’t bear it.

Why do I have to fall into an unfamiliar world and suffer this humiliation?

Why on earth should I become the object of someone’s ugly desire?

“Forgiveness… Forgive me… ”

What little conscience I had left in my heart shattered inside me.

My eyes brightened.

“Do you really want my forgiveness?”

“Yes, Kyle, you are the only one I have.”

“That’s right.”

I don’t care if you ask me what qualifications you have to discuss forgiveness.

I can endure even if they criticize me for being selfish.

Because I must escape this damned world at all costs.

“Holy Solvent.”

“Divinity… Solvent… ?”

“Okay, bring that at least. Do you know anything? I wonder if my heart will move.”

Holy dissolver.

divinity… Solvent…

Isabel continued to mutter in a gloomy voice.

She looked at me with a strange face that was neither smiling nor crying.

“I’ll bring it.”

Isabelle smiled brightly.

A deep sense of pleasure bloomed on her face.

“You can do it.”

Isabel stood up, shaking the dust off her knees.

A look flashed through her eyes.

“Because I love you.”

It’s a blatant lie.

Because such dirty feelings can never be love.

At that time, something familiar appeared in the air.

[Scenario progress: 45%]

Oh yeah.

There was this.

Okay.

No, it’s actually better.

If there ever comes a situation where 100% is met.

So, in the end, if the system is truly settled and intervenes in my fate.

— All you have to do is choose the wrong things like you do now and then die cleanly the moment the system intervenes in your fate.

— If you die during causality settlement, there is absolutely no room for the system to intervene.

For me, if I die, that’s enough.

****

I returned straight to the mansion.

That evening, I lay down with a high fever.

Is it because of the terrible meeting with Isabelle?

Or is it because the aftereffects of the runaway magic power have not completely gone away?

It hurt so bad.

To the point where I thought it would be better to faint.

Everything was just annoying.

It was so unfair that I died.

All these situations I’m in right now.

— Oh my, it’s boiling! It’s boiling!

— Seungjun, wake up and eat some porridge.

— Inseok. You won’t get better if you eat, you have to eat.

The gentle voice of my parents passed through my ears.

I miss your warm affection for me so much.

I turned my head.

As I looked at the empty seat next to me, my heart throbbed.

Seungjun Lee.

Yeah, that was the name.

My real name, not Kyle Winfred.

The cold sweat that flowed non-stop pierced the corners of my eyes.

I can’t even tell if these are tears or sweat.

My head was spinning and it was difficult to breathe.

My whole body felt hot, as if a fever was blooming.

I needed someone I could trust and rely on.

I was hungry for quiet attention, not for the twisted emotions pouring out towards me.

Ah, I’m exhausted.

The silence of the night felt like an eternity.

At that moment, squeak—the door opened.

What, who is it at this time?

I didn’t even have the strength to turn over, so I turned my head slightly and saw Diana coming in through the door.

Diana placed the tray she had brought with her on the nightstand next to the bed.

After a while, a delicious smell pierced my nose.

“Sorry for staying up late at night. I brought you soup.”

“… … Soup?”

“Yes, you skipped meals all day today.”

Was it so?

Now that I think about it, I think it was like that.

“I will help you stand up.”

Diana firmly supported her limp body.

I managed to sit down and rest my head on the bedside.

Even though I just got up from my seat, I’m breathing hard.

I was blinking blankly when a spoon was pushed in front of my eyes.

“Please open your mouth.”

what? Open your mouth?

Do you really want to feed me?

I looked dazed and cautiously opened my mouth, and the soup, warmed to an appropriate temperature, went down my esophagus and warmed my insides.

The taste of the soup is…

“… … It doesn’t taste good.”

Astringent and salty at the same time.

It appears to be a soup that Diana cooked herself.

“It’s because your sense of taste is paralyzed due to high fever.”

Diana spoke in a firm voice as if that couldn’t be possible.

That sight was so funny that I burst out laughing.

After that, I slowly ate the soup Diana gave me into my mouth.

It didn’t taste good, but it was warm.

Although it was only soup, the pain of cutting my bones became quite bearable.

The soup that filled the bowl was almost empty.

I felt a familiar feeling of fullness.

After a while, Diana took out a towel and carefully wet it in the bucket of water she had brought with her.

“Stay still.”

A cold sensation spread all over my face.

Every time a soft touch passed over my face, a part of my heart tickled.

Suddenly I was curious.

What is Diana thinking when she looks at me?

contempt? Hatred? indifference?

If not, sympathy?

I slowly turned my head and looked at Diana.

Her eyes were so calm.

The only determination to clean my face perfectly flashed in her eyes.

After a while, Diana pushed something to my mouth again.

“Take your medicine too.”

“… … Where did you get that from?”

“I bought it.”

Only then did I realize it.

Oh, you’re worried about me now.

That’s why you came to my room in the middle of the night.

To take care of me while I am sick.

The wind rushed into a corner of my chest.

I frowned at the unfamiliar emotions I felt for the first time after falling into this world.

Diana’s silver hair revealed under the moonlight was dazzling.

I felt refreshed as if my stuffy chest had been opened.

“… … Why does the medicine taste like this?”

“It’s because your sense of taste is paralyzed.”

“If I was paralyzed, I wouldn’t have been able to taste it.”

“No.”

That consistent attitude was strangely comforting.

A laugh escaped from the corner of my mouth.

I slowly put myself back into the blanket.

The pain was still there, but for some reason it was quite bearable now.

“… ”

“… ”

There was no sound of the door opening.

Diana was still sitting in the chair next to the bed, watching me.

I remained silent.

I know it’s selfish, but I thought it would be nice if Diana stayed there for tonight.

A cozy silence fell.

That day, for the first time, I didn’t have a nightmare.