episode_0033
by fnovelpia“Shin Yu-jin?”
“Ah, hello… ”
An awkward greeting reached my ears, and I couldn’t tell if what I was seeing was reality or a dream.
I looked at Shin Yujin standing in front of the door for a while.
Shin Yu-jin also looked at me endlessly.
It’s probably not a dream, right?“
“If it’s okay… Can I come in for a moment? I have something to talk about.”
What to talk about? What are you talking about?
I don’t understand why she came to me like this because she had something to say, even though I had extended my hand to her several times, but she had rejected me.
It’s the same situation as back then.
The only other thing is that Shin Yu-jin was outside and I opened the door.
Now, talking to her at a time when she was about to be forgotten in my mind is like repeating the difficult time I went through.
Of course, that doesn’t mean I have any intention of kicking her out like she did.
Even if I don’t know what she came here for, I know that she had the courage to come this far, and I don’t want to trample on that effort.
“Come in.”
“Yes, thank you.”
An awkward air naturally filled the house, and Shin Yu-jin stepped in.
Shin Yu-jin, who was sitting on the sofa, appeared anxious as she constantly bumped her thumbs.
“How are you feeling?”
“It’s gotten a lot better. I’m fine now.”
“Thank goodness.”
We could only exchange short conversations.
Perhaps there is less conversation than when I first met Shin Yujin 14 years ago.
“I guess you were trying to eat ramen?”
“Yes, now is the first meal.”
“Let’s all eat and talk. I’ll wait.”
It’s not a human thing to leave boiled ramen sitting still, but how can you eat it in this atmosphere?
It’s unfortunate, but I think we need to resolve this situation first.
I sat on the sofa at some distance from Shin Yujin.
“Just say it. I can eat it later.”
“No. Never mind me… ”
“How can you eat ramen when you’re like this? What do I do when I feel at ease?”
“Oh, I guess so.”
In the silence that had returned, Shin Yujin was still fiddling with his fingers.
I was about to let out a deep sigh as I felt frustrated by that action.
“I’m sorry.”
A completely unexpected word reached my ear.
Shin Yu-jin clearly gave me an apple. Not as a joke, but in a voice full of sincerity.
I found myself wondering for no reason what I was apologizing for.
You slapped me in the face? Or did you just turn the door on? Or is it because you haven’t received any communication from me for a while?
Anyway, why am I thinking about this?
I was just surprised by the apology Shin Yujin gave me first.
“Everything you said is correct. We are no longer married. I don’t know why, but my emotions suddenly got stronger.”
“… I was a little embarrassed. I was telling the truth, but your reaction seemed like I was saying the wrong thing.”
“I’m sorry for slapping you in the face.”
“That’s what I did. You don’t have to be sorry.”
Although I gradually became irritated with Shin Yu-jin, who had not been responding to my calls, I don’t think it was my fault.
The words I uttered at that time were words that could never be taken back or forgiven.
It was natural for Shin Yu-jin to slap me.
“And… I came to your house, but I’m sorry for saying only bad things and kicking you out.”
Shin Yu-jin repeatedly apologized, detailing what had happened one by one.
I had never seen her give a sincere apology before, so the sight seemed very unfamiliar to me.
It would be right for me to apologize for that too.
“I’m sorry too. By saying things without thinking.”
“If I had been better at controlling my emotions in the first place, this would have been overlooked. You don’t have to be sorry.”
“Let me tell you one thing: I don’t regret the good times I had with you at all. At that time, my emotions got so strong that I burst out.”
“Really? That’s really fortunate.”
If I were asked to spend time alone with Shin Yujin in her current state, I would rather choose to spend time alone with the professor.
I feel so suffocated and oppressed.
We confessed our pent-up feelings to each other and apologized, but the frozen air did not thaw at all.
Would it have been right to send it back, saying I didn’t want to see it now?
“Oh, and… There’s something I really want to say to you.”
“What do you mean?”
“There was a day when you bought porridge and tried to bring it to my house.”
“Yes, at that time.”
“I didn’t intentionally not answer the phone at that time. I was sleeping for a while. That’s why I didn’t receive it.”
He was sleeping.
I wonder if I should believe this.
Of course, Shin Yu-jin has never lied even once, so everything he says is probably true, but due to the long period of no contact, he doesn’t have even the slightest affection for her.
Perhaps because I was no longer staying, I unconsciously began to doubt her words.
“ji, it’s true. I want you to believe me. That day, I was still sleeping because my physical condition had not fully recovered, and that was when you called.”
“Can I ask you one question?”
“Yes, ask.”
“Then why haven’t you contacted me since then? There must have been a missed call.”
When Shin Yu-jin heard my question, she bowed her head without giving any answer.
There is no immediate answer. If this happens, my suspicions will inevitably deepen.
“First of all, let me say it first.”
“Uh, yes.”
“I also saw your missed call. But I didn’t want to call again.”
“Why… ?”
“I thought it would go the same way anyway. Because I didn’t want to complicate things any more and I didn’t want to fight with you.”
“That’s right.”
“Now tell me. Why didn’t you contact me?”
Shin Yu-jin’s worries continued for a long time.
I don’t know what caused the worry, but I hoped it wasn’t as bad as the situation in my head.
“… I was scared.”
“You were scared?”
“Yes. When I called again and saw that you didn’t answer, I thought you had no feelings for me anymore.”
“So?”
“I thought nothing would change no matter what I did to you who had such thoughts.”
“Was that scary?”
“I felt scared that you, who had no affection left for me, would look at me coldly and react.”
While listening to Shin Yujin and thinking in my own way, I saw two hands holding each other tightly.
It’s subtle, but I can see the trembling.
And the tremor was not only visible in Shin Yujin’s hands, but also throughout Shin Yujin’s body.
I really felt afraid at the time, and it seemed to let me know how big that fear was.
“Han Yu-chan… I don’t want to break up with you. I want to continue this relationship no matter what.”
With those words, I was finally able to see Shin Yujin’s face.
her face.
It was endlessly damaged.
This does not mean that it is externally broken.
I saw her face, completely devastated, with emotions that could never be called positive accumulating.
“I think the reason we were able to remain close even after coming to the past was because we went through such bad times.”
“Yes, that’s right.”
“At some point, I began to think that maybe that too was just a memory.”
While I was living with Shin Yu-jin after her return, I used my will to look back on every moment that I didn’t even want to think about until before my return.
At the same time, the question arose as to whether being able to look back like this was just a memory.
As I listened to Shin Yu-jin, that doubt gradually began to become a certainty.
As the complicated emotions piled up, my heavy mouth finally opened.
And I am.
“I’m sorry, Eugene.”
Unlike before, I gave him an apology that contained all my emotions.
“I’m sorry I misunderstood. I thought you didn’t want to keep in touch with me anymore. That’s why I didn’t contact you.”
“No. It was my mistake.”
“If I hadn’t said that from the beginning, this wouldn’t have happened.”
“You just said what you thought. I overreacted.”
We looked at each other with more relaxed expressions than when we first met.
All of the guilt, misunderstanding, and anger that had been building up for so long were released and we greeted each other with familiar, sincere faces.
“I don’t want to break up with you either. As much as it has been fun to be friends with you since I came to the past, I want to continue to be with you.”
As he softly said those words, a smile appeared on Shin Yujin’s face.
Now I finally see Shin Yujin’s familiar face.
“Thank you. For coming to my house.”
“No. Thank you for accepting my apology too.”
“Thank you too, Eugene.”
The moment we tried to get up from the sofa together with a lighter heart.
“Huh?!”
For a moment, Shin Yujin stumbled. As this always happened, he held Shin Yujin’s hand to prevent him from falling.
“You’re about to fall again.”
“My legs suddenly lost strength.”
I could feel that Shin Yujin’s wrist, which was in my hand, was thinner than before.
I wonder if I lost weight because I had nowhere to lose it.
I guess I haven’t eaten properly in a while.
“What would you like to eat too?”
“Uh, yes. Want some. I need to eat ramen too.”
“I’ll boil it for you.”
“No. I’ll boil it.”
“If you boil it, it becomes Han River ramen.”
“Is it really boiling well now? Just watch and watch.”
Even though I stopped him, Shin Yujin started boiling ramen with a confident look on his face.
I’m already afraid of what kind of weird ramen will be born again.
“Yoo-chan.”
“… uh?! What did you just say?”
“My name is Yu-chan. Why?”
“No. Because it’s been a long time since you called my name.”
“Now I’m going to call it like this. You just called me that too.”
My thoughts were interrupted for a moment by the smile he gave me again, and after a short moment, the thoughts came back into my head.
Shin Yu-jin’s expression, which was familiar to me, was always that of an irritated and angry expression.
But at some point, the smiling face becomes more familiar and no longer feels unfamiliar.
Also, when I realized her sincerity, my thoughts that had been established as certainty began to change.
Even though I thought about letting go of affection, I think I’m doing this because I still had affection in a corner of my heart without realizing it.
And besides Jeong…
“Uh… Yuchan, doesn’t this seem like there’s a lot of water in it?”
“I knew it would be like this. This is why I said I would boil it.”
“It was definitely successful last time.”
“Hangang Ramen was born again.”
It may be because I still have lingering feelings for her.
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