episode_0032

I had a pleasant dream.

A dream where I wasn’t the one being dominated, but the one dominating someone else.

I savored the moment to my heart’s content within it.

The flesh that moved as I pleased was truly ecstatic.

A relationship where I could take the lead.

That is indeed the mature life I yearned for.

I woke up envisioning that life.

The vast night sky stretched out before me.

Moonlight streaming into the room.

There, I slowly raised my head.

“…”

The first thing that caught my eye was a unfamiliar face.

She had dark, beautiful hair and red eyes.

With her chin propped up, she stared intently down at me, asleep.

“Are you awake?”

The woman turned towards the counter.

I followed her gaze and looked at the bar table.

There sat the girl I had freely touched in my dream.

Upon hearing that I had woken up, she shrugged her shoulders.

Then, with a somewhat tense expression, she greeted me.

Could it be that she’s making that face because she’s been tormented by me so much?

My head is pounding.

Come to think of it, when was the last time I emitted pheromones so strongly?

It must have been when I killed the chief’s bodyguards.

But she managed to survive.

Thank goodness…

Behind that relief, embarrassment washed over me.

I feel sorry for the girl who suffered because of my misdeeds.

But back then, I wasn’t in my right mind either.

I had fled from the doctor.

I wandered the streets chasing after any trace of Anna, my only savior in life.

And that led me to this inn.

There, a mixed-race girl was polishing glassware alone.

At first, she seemed easygoing, and I thought about having a drink with her.

Because I couldn’t bear it sober.

But soon, when I sensed Anna’s scent from her…

I felt jealous of her.

I couldn’t believe that someone without any abilities had monopolized Anna’s love.

I only wanted to torment her…

I didn’t expect to get intoxicated by my own pheromones.

Still… it did feel good.

The sensation of touching her skin was truly enjoyable.

Thanks to that, I could somewhat alleviate my jealousy towards Anna.

She must have liked this side of the girl to leave such an impression.

It would be really fun to meet the three of us later.

“Hey.”

As I pondered these thoughts, someone spoke to me in a cold voice.

It was the girl with the red eyes I saw when I woke up.

She gazed at me sharply as if interrogating me.

“Is it true that you attacked first?”

“…”

I couldn’t give any response.

Regardless of the reason, it was true.

Moreover, her eyes carried an intimidating aura that could freeze anyone.

“Oh, really?”

The woman turned to Siho with an incredulous expression.

Siho clenched her handkerchief tightly with a look of injustice.

“It’s true!”

“Siho has quite a history. Being the woman an idol attacks first. Is that why you allowed him to touch you so freely?”

Siho sighed deeply while washing limes.

The woman chuckled and turned back towards me.

“Do you know who I am?”

“No…”

“Your former boss probably knows me well. I’m known as the enemy of justice…”

I shuddered upon hearing that name.

How could one not know Justice?

Even the sky-like chief would be uneasy whenever that name was mentioned.

Owing debts to various guilds, he particularly stirred up trouble just by mentioning the names Justice or Counters.

“The… insane killer who collects corpses?”

“He’s gone mad in front of you.”

Justice laughed in disbelief at my boldness.

Then, pressing my forehead firmly, he said,

“Looking at you like this, it seems like kids these days are really… Oh, on the floor of the counter, it’s as if…”

“Ah, stop that talk!”

Siho cut off Justice’s words sharply.

I never even considered whether the girl I touched could be someone who could stand tall against Rankers.

“Am I going to be killed too? Like the boss…”

I look up between the fingers pressing on my forehead.

Her red eyes flicker.

“Gosh… just by looks alone, if you weave flesh together, it would make a beautiful doll.”

With narrowed eyes, Jeksah brushes my head with her palm.

Upon hearing her words, I shivered.

Having destroyed her territory, called in the doctor, and even started a big fight, there’s nothing left for me to say even if I die right now.

“Just kidding. Anyway, this inn was always in the red, so it wouldn’t be strange if it went under anytime.”

Contrary to my thoughts, warm words came out of her mouth.

In the moonlight, the killer smiles slyly.

I thought that smile was quite beautiful.

Like an actress I sometimes ran into at the broadcasting station.

Most killers are this beautiful, I guess.

Anna-nim, and this sister too…

Perhaps, those who were killed by them wouldn’t die with twisted faces.

“Why not rebuild it while we’re at it. More cocktail bar-esque.”

“Is that a good idea?”

Siho unni approaches.

She awkwardly brings over a table that is still intact.

Even the way she struggles with the table is cute enough to make me want to touch her more.

“But why were you like that when you first came to the shop? I really thought you were insane.”

It’s understandable.

Because at that time, my memories were so hazy that I wasn’t in my right mind.

“In fact…”

I took a moment to organize my thoughts.

My head is spinning from wearing pheromones all day.

The two unnis look at me with gentle expressions.

Thanks to them, I could muster up the courage.

“I drank alcohol…”

“Really? You didn’t seem that drunk on the surface.”

Siho chuckles stubbornly.

“That’s right. It was just a glass of champagne.”

“The drink was given to me by the doctor at dinner. After the former boss died, the doctor took over his position.”

“He acquired the company solely because of me. He enjoyed playing with women in my scent.”

My hands clasped on my knees tremble.

Siho unni warmly holds onto those hands.

Thanks to her, I could once again dwell on the dreadful past.

“He always took me to the salon and made me emit pheromones in the next room. He even tried to violate me on the day I became an adult.”

I blankly stare at the night sky.

The crescent moon hangs sadly.

“Today was probably that day. He spiked the champagne he gave me.”

Siho’s face contorts.

She realizes that the girl he lusted after was drugged.

“I drank half of the drugged drink and felt something was wrong with my body. Using the excuse of going to the bathroom, I ran out of the shop.”

Siho calmly nods.

“And that’s how you ended up here.”

“Yes. I followed Anna-nim’s traces, the last person who spared me. And… I wanted to die smelling his scent.”

“And did I appear because his scent was strong?”

Siho asks with a frightened expression.

I nod in response.

“You did seem a bit off.”

She exhales deeply.

“Still, what I said on the floor earlier was sincere.”

I teasingly raise my eyebrows at her.

Upon which Siho unni retreats her chair like a startled cat meeting its enemy.

Her actions are truly adorable.

Almost unbelievable for an unni.

But soon, I had to admit that she was a much more mature person than me.

Despite her mischievous jokes, she still looked at me with concern.

“It must have been tough.”

She covers my fallen jacket over my knees.

“Do your parents know about this?”

At the mention of my parents, my throat constricts.

But eventually, since it was a story that needed to be told, I managed to open my mouth.

“Your mother is in the hospital due to injuries from the monster incident.”

“And she waits only for the day when I appear on TV. That’s her only solace.”

“Now, how do you think she will react when news breaks that I’ve been expelled from Aimer?”

As I lowered my head, Siho spoke.

“Don’t bear everything alone.”

“But I’m almost an adult too. And I’m an idol. If I can’t endure such adversity…”

I gazed at her silently.

The dark circles under Unni’s eyes seemed to tighten in anger.

“You haven’t done anything wrong. Boldly exposing injustice and seeking help is also part of being mature.”

Upon Siho’s earnest words, I found myself speechless.

Is it really considered mature to know how to seek help?

While under the CEO’s wing all my life, I learned that to adapt to society, one must be prepared to tolerate unfairness…

It’s confusing.

As I pondered, Unni asked Joksa if there was no way to help me.

In response, Killer, with arms crossed, fell into thought for a moment.

“There might be a way.”

She pointed at my face with a lighter.

“The legislator who forced sexual favors, the idol who fled, the bartender who saved her, and a high-ranking member united.”

Speaking as if reciting a newspaper article, she continued.

“If this gets in the news, won’t it reverse the association’s and our organization’s images?”

The lighter sparked up.

Blue flames flickered.

“Then, what I did to the association guys, the inn being ruined, we could get compensated for all that. And this girl won’t unjustly be expelled from the group either.”

Seemingly done with her rough calculations, Joksa tucked the lighter back into her pocket.

“But will the association easily admit the truth?”

“Do you have evidence?”

“I do… I even paid a famous journalist to spread it.”

At the mention of a famous journalist, Joksa frowned.

“Those scumbags?”

“Yes…”

“They probably failed. Can those amateurs handle such a big event?”

I nodded silently.

Joksa chuckled and took out her phone.

“Contact me later using this number.”

She pushed a number written on her phone towards me.

“Who’s this…?”

“It’s my colleague, a crazy guy still selling idols in his thirties.”

Just imagining him seemed to annoy Joksa as she shook her head.

I slowly transferred the number to my phone.

“He might help set up a press conference when you talk to him. He’s a high-ranking member after all.”

My heart fluttered.

Have I ever received such kindness before?

Throughout my life, adults who pretended to be good but demanded something else behind my back were abundant.

But now, to receive help from a killer who actually takes lives…

“Thank you…”

“However, you’ll have to handle the press conference yourself. The association will try to bury you one way or another.”

Killer’s red eyes glared at me.

Yet, more than those eyes, the word ‘association’ that came from her mouth was more frightening.

Can I really escape from those who currently claim to be the government?

And even after escaping, can I continue being an idol?

It’s terrifying.

Terrifying and incredibly unsettling.

Suddenly, I find myself at a crossroads of choice.

I contemplate in front of this sudden fork in the road.

I’ve never imagined a life where I’m expelled from Aimer.

If I leave now, how will I pay for my mother’s hospital bills?

I just signed a contract…

My lips tremble.

I gaze slowly between Joksa and Siho.

I let out a deep sigh.

Nevertheless, I must make a choice.

“I… ”

Just as I was about to make a decision,

Siho gently takes my hand.

Under the warmth of her touch, she softly says to me,

“Think carefully. Don’t rush into decisions.”

She smiles warmly.

With warmth lingering in my hands, I rose gracefully from my seat.

“I’ll make you a cocktail.”

She strolled leisurely towards the counter.

Then, she knelt beneath the completely wrecked display shelf.

She retrieved the Bacardi.

Is she trying to give me catharsis again?

At the thought of drinking that strong stuff again, I involuntarily tensed up.

“Sorry, the store burned down, so all that’s left is this fruit…”

Siho wore an apologetic expression.

A lime that had been rolling on the floor was cradled in her hand.

“It’s okay, it all ends up the same once it’s down your throat.”

Jeoksa cut in cynically.

Upon hearing that, she murmured anxiously like a worried animal, “Will it be okay…?”

She perched on the scorched counter.

Crossing her slender, long legs.

Her slacks seemed like they would burst at any moment.

I blankly stared at her silhouette.

Eventually, she sat down elegantly and grasped the shaker.

Beneath the moonlight, she began shaking slowly.

It was lively, as if playing an instrument.

Unlike the vulnerable times with me, there was strength and overflowing rhythm.

In the icy cold shaker.

1 ounce of white rum.

0.5 ounces of red Disaronno.

0.5 ounces of lime juice.

After adding them in order, shake for 10 seconds.

Then strain lightly into a martini glass.

The golden liquid cascaded into the glass following the moonlight.

Rating: ★★★★ (Perfect)

Effect: Increases composure by 10.

Information: A variation of catharsis. Uses white rum instead of harsh Bacardi 151.

Neutralized the rising harsh alcohol through shaking.

Consideration and encouragement for a girl becoming an adult.

No need for decoration.

Because it’s that perfect.

“I present to you Catharsis for Idol.”

The golden glass rested on the charred table.

Eyes were drawn to the contrast between black and golden hues.

I lowered my head to gaze intently at the cocktail.

Reflected in the golden liquid was Siho unni.

She, too, was admiring the beautiful colors of the cocktail like me.

Gone was the cool demeanor from before, replaced by a pure face like a child’s.

I thought she might be someone I could admire for the first time.

From Anna to someone else.

At that thought, a wry smile escaped me.

Unaware of my feelings, she just tilted her head.

“Enjoy your drink, unni.”

I gripped the glass.

And slowly brought it to my lips.

Smooth and sweet rum touched my tongue.

Gradually, the almond flavor filled my mouth.

Finishing with a hint of tangy lime juice.

Delicious.

Different from the intense liquor I first drank.

Delicate and tender.

And I still prefer this taste over harsh spirits.

When I realized this fact.

My eyes welled up.

I was taken aback by the emotion I hadn’t felt in a long time.

Since becoming an idol trainee, I had hardly cried properly.

Crying would smudge my makeup.

Smudged makeup would attract attention and lead to rumors.

Other members would gossip, and the CEO would disapprove.

So, I tried so hard not to cry…

But somehow, now, I couldn’t hold back.