episode_0032
by fnovelpiaI stared blankly ahead.
No thoughts came to my mind. My brain refused to work any longer, just held its breath.
So, I just looked forward. That was all I could do.
“Chief Priest.”
Someone spoke to me. I looked back.
Blonde hair, green eyes that shine like emeralds. But, it wasn’t Helena.
… it wasn’t Helena.
“… Substitute Sophia.”
Deacon Sophia was looking at me with a bitter smile. I glanced away.
“I’m sorry about earlier.”
“… … .”
“I’m serious. I’m so sorry.”
“Chief Priest.”
Deacon Sophia’s tone was a little cold. Was she disappointed in me?
It was understandable. Rather, it was strange that I wasn’t disappointed. I had been dragged into the dormitory by a stranger out of the blue and was in a stuffy state.
The most disappointing part was probably that today’s outing ended in a mess.
Like ripened grain, my head naturally bowed down. I had a hard time bearing the weight of my heavy head.
“Sigh… .”
Deacon Sophia sighed. Soon, I felt a weight on the seat next to me on the sofa. Deacon Sophia was sitting next to me.
“First, have a cup of black tea.”
“… Thank you.”
I hesitated for a moment, then took a sip of the warm black tea she offered me. The bitter taste of the cheap black tea I always drank filled my mouth.
“Yes, sir.”
The tone of voice was slightly raised at the end of the syllable. It seemed that Deacon Sophia was very angry.
The person called the chief priest. The person called his superior.
It was so frustrating to see him run away from a long-awaited weekend outing in such a pitiful state.
While I was thinking about this and that, Deacon Sophia continued speaking.
“That sound from earlier. It was the sound of a fruit vendor dropping a box of fruit while moving it.”
A thud. Was that the sound of something falling?
“… Ah.”
As I pondered the words of Deacon Sophia, the sound I had heard struck me a little differently.
What the hell is a howitzer? After hearing the truth behind the loud noise I had heard, I felt so foolish for running away in panic. I lowered my head even further and muttered.
“I’m sorry, Deacon Sophia.”
“Excuse me, Your Majesty.”
“… Yes.”
“Raise your head.”
I stayed still. It was hard to look at her expression. If she showed even a disappointed expression, I might die like this.
“Raise your head.”
Deacon Sophia’s voice was powerful. I had no choice but to raise my head.
There was no expression on Deacon Sophia’s face. But that was all the more frightening. Because I didn’t know what that expressionless face meant.
“I’m sorry, Deacon Sophia.”
When I apologized again, Deacon Sophia’s eyebrows quirked.
“From now on, let’s ban apologies. It’s not going to work.”
“Okay, I understand. Sorry.”
“Apologizing is now prohibited! Forbidden!”
“… Yes.”
I nodded weakly. Deacon Sophia stared at me intently, then picked up her own teacup.
“Excuse me, Your Majesty.”
“Yes.”
“Now… Are you okay?”
He asked if the seizure from earlier had subsided. I bit my lip for a moment, then nodded with difficulty.
“Thanks to you, I feel a little better. Thank you, Deacon Sophia.”
Deacon Sophia didn’t answer. She just looked at me in silence, then got up and walked toward the front door.
“Take a break now. Today was fun.”
“Deacon Sophia. By any chance… .”
“Yes?”
As Deacon Sophia opened the front door and was about to go out, she turned to me. I looked into her eyes and shivered.
Gulp.
“Are you angry?”
“… … .”
Deacon Sophia’s body stood still. I asked her again.
“Is that why you’re so angry because I look so pitiful?”
“Chief Priest.”
“I’m sorry, Deacon Sophia. From now on… .”
“Priest Antonelli!”
Thud, thud.
Deacon Sophia, who was about to go out, turned around and then quickly approached me with a very impulsive gait. I looked at her with slightly surprised eyes.
Deacon Sophia, who had just come up to me, opened her mouth and looked at me with eyes that sparkled like jewels.
“I’ll only tell you this once, so listen carefully.”
I nodded silently. There was something irresistible in her fierce momentum.
“I’m not angry, I’m just upset.”
A green sparkling gem. The round emerald sparkled even more as it absorbed the clear liquid. Tears filled Deacon Sophia’s eyes. As if she had been holding back with great difficulty.
“The head priest keeps showing me that kind of behavior… . I’m so upset that I’m saying that… .”
The words of Deacon Sophia that followed. With eyes exactly like Helena’s, she spoke to me with tears in her eyes.
It’s hard to imagine how painful it must have been for me. My heart aches. Wouldn’t it be less painful if they cut out my heart?
Finally, a single teardrop flowed down Deacon Sophia’s beautiful cheek. I looked away without thinking.
It seemed really difficult to look into those eyes any longer.
“Chief Priest. I don’t care what happens to the weekend outing today. But… .”
“… … .”
“Isn’t it time you trusted me for once…?”
Deacon Sophia bowed her head. Her tears, as pure as her bright smile, fell drop by drop onto the sofa.
“I know that the head priest fought in the Great War. When you meet Father Peter, who wouldn’t know if you reacted so sharply?”
“That’s it.”
“So, I also know that the head priest has a wound that is so deep that it cannot be measured. I can understand to some extent that he does not tell me. But… . But… .”
Deacon Sophia lifted her face. It was heartbreaking to see her tears flowing in streams.
“Don’t you think about me, watching that scene?”
I was speechless. My tongue was stuck in place, unable to find a way to move. I couldn’t say anything in response.
– It’s time to think about me when I lost you.
Because of those words, which were so similar to the torrent of resentment I poured out toward Helena. Because of those one word.
My chest feels so stuffy. Suddenly, I feel like screaming. I want to scream, even though I know that it won’t solve anything. I barely hold it back.
This suffocation. The unbearable pain in my chest. I felt as if I was being consumed by this and sinking. Slowly, into a very deep sea of sorrow. Into an abyss where no light can enter.
I thought I was sinking alone, but I was sinking with the ship. I wasn’t the only crew member on board the ship of my responsibility.
The selfish thought that I have to endure this alone.
It was something that hurt Deacon Sophia.
I looked at Deacon Sophia. She opened her mouth as if to say something, but then closed it again.
“… Your Majesty.”
I looked at her in silence. My deep, abyssal eyes were turned toward Deacon Sophia, and her clear, transparent green eyes were looking back at me.
“I. I don’t want to see the head priest in misery… . ”
Deacon Sophia wiped away her tears and stood up from her seat. I just looked at her with my mouth tightly shut.
“… Sorry. I spoke at length about useless things.”
“… … .”
“Get some rest, Priest. I’ll see you tomorrow at Sunday service.”
Deacon Sophia’s footsteps were once again heading towards the front door. I could sense it intuitively.
If I let you go from here, I will have to live with this heartbreaking pain for a long time.
So, it is….
“Substitute Sophia.”
Perhaps it was more like a guest act, a vain hope for change.
“… Okay, I’ll tell you.”
But, yeah.
“I will tell you everything that has happened so far…”
I offered myself to be the captain of a sinking ship.
* * * * *
It was the second year since he took part in the Great War as a military chaplain.
As the reserve units in the rear were reorganized, I, who had been assigned to a mountain unit guarding the highlands along the supply route, was transferred to a unit at the front line.
Helena and I met there.
It was one of the battlefields that had become a land of death. The 858th Magic Engineering Infantry Battalion, the so-called Phoenix Battalion, to which I was transferred, was tasked with defending the front line there.
The name Phoenix was given because the battalion commander here, Lieutenant Colonel Mayhem, was a 5th circle fire mage. They call him the Phoenix because he survived countless dangers.
Helena and I, whom I met there, quickly became close friends thanks to Helena’s great sociability. It may have been because there were only four priests in the battalion headquarters, including the two of us.
Even so, the other two, excluding us, were in the medical corps and were moving around here and there, so they rarely encountered us.
Helena was not only skilled, but also had a bright and innocent appearance, making her the object of much cheering from the soldiers. Perhaps because of her status as a priest, no soldier was offended by her.
She was the kind of person who never hesitated to lend a helping hand. Her nickname was the Saintess of the Phoenix Squadron. She was so concerned about others that I couldn’t help but feel anxious about her actions.
One time this happened.
It was my second year since I transferred to the Phoenix Battalion.
That day, the enemy’s offensive was particularly fierce, and we were in danger of the enemy reaching our position where the battalion headquarters was located.
That means that the firepower of the three companies at the front of the front, excluding the one company at the rear, was pierced.
At that time, when Lieutenant Colonel Mayhem heard of this fact, he became furious and chose to go on the offensive to open a path for the friendly company isolated in the front line.
Helena and I were assigned to that important mission.
* * * * *
Bang! Tata tang!
“Keep, eww—! Priest! Priest Antonelli!”
The enemy’s struggles grew more intense. I bit my lip and treated a soldier who was screaming with a gunshot wound to his arm.
“The hem of His garment passed by, and the poor who had prayed for it were healed… .”
As the warm golden color flowed through his hand, the soldier’s wound slowly healed. Fortunately, it was not a deep wound. If it was a fatal wound, it would be difficult to heal even with divine power.
“Keuuuk… ! Ga, thank you… .”
The soldier, frowning, hurriedly grabbed his gun and ran out, perhaps because the pain hadn’t gone away yet. I wished him good luck and took a quick look at the battle situation.
“Push! Push! The enemies have surrounded you from behind!!”
“You stupid elf bastards! How dare you crawl in here with such a shabby force!”
“Kill all the little bastards you see! Split their heads apart!!”
The situation where our forces had the upper hand was clear. I swallowed hard and put the Bible in my bosom.
The elf guerrilla force that had infiltrated the gaps in the friendly company was slowly melting away, isolated in the midst of the concentrated fire of friendly forces. It was the middle of a fierce battlefield with nowhere to run.
“Helena! Where are you!”
“Here it is!”
I ran to where I heard Helena’s voice. She, like me, was healing the wounded.
“You… Are you okay?”
“Yes?”
“Your complexion is pale! Now, go to the back!”
Helena’s complexion was not good. It was due to her overuse of the divine miracles in her human body.
Hearing my words, Helena smiled weakly and said.
“The Lord said, “The good shepherd lays down his life for his sheep.””
“… … .”
“I want to lead these people.”
The eyes of the priestess Helena were hard. The wick within them burned strongly.
Suddenly, I looked back at the soldiers around me.
“Holy Lord… . I, please… . I want to live… .”
The soldiers, trembling with fear of death, were reciting a half-baked prayer they had learned, desperately calling out the name of God.
In this place where death runs rampant.
An invisible god named Life.
Maybe that’s why I only look at you.
0 Comments